Quiz: What Diner From Pop Culture Are You?

a white napkin with red print that reads AUTOSTRADDLE Diner Week

Diner Week – All Artwork by Viv Le

Ah, the humble diner: It’s a cultural institution, a home away from home, a place where the eggs always look on the sunny side of life. It’s the one restaurant in every town where you can order up a side of friendship or anonymity, and extra syrup too. This week, you’ll be reading so many astounding, heartfelt essays about our close personal connection to the diners in our lives, but today, we’re here to ask perhaps the most profound question of all: What famous cinematic diner are you?

The bells jingle as you walk into your favorite diner. A waitress looks up from where she’s rolling silverware at the counter. “Hey, hon,” she says. “Take a seat anywhere you’d like.”(Required)
Your classic diner memories:(Required)
You recognize the waitress — you’ve seen her here before. She walks over with the coffee pot. “Want some?”(Required)
You like your small towns with a side of:(Required)
After checking on a couple of other tables, she wanders over with her pad. “What’ll it be?”(Required)
How do you like your eggs?(Required)
What are your go-to diner potatoes?(Required)
What literary food makes your mouth water?(Required)
Choose your favorite diner slang:(Required)
Choose a color palette:(Required)
The diner goes quiet. The last person’s jukebox choices finally ran out! You grab a quarter and choose a song:(Required)
You’ve finished your meal! As you get ready to head out the door, you count up your cash and do the math. You always leave:(Required)

This site is protected by reCAPTCHA and the Google Privacy Policy and Terms of Service apply.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!
Related:

Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

22 Comments

  1. This quiz would have been suspect had I gotten anything but Luke’s – luckily I didn’t!

    My only complaint – poutine was never an answer option! I guess that’s because none of these pop culture diners are located in. Canada. But most of my diner memories are wandering in drunk at 2am with a bunch of friends after the bar closes and ordering a poutine the size of my head.

    • omg arvan! being a lowly US-ian, I had no idea poutine, which I have only had a a “fancy” pub, was a diner food! What a joy.

    • Poutine is definitely a diner food here.

      Especially an after hours diner food to the extent that i have lived in a town that had not one, not two, but THREE diners who would close around 1 to 2pm then re-open at 11pm to 3am to get all the drunk people walking home at night and see them open and go OH MY GOD!!!! POUTINE!!!!

      One was extra dedicated to this and had huge comfy chairs and couches which they let people pass out on for awhile.

  3. Got the Double R diner from Twin Peaks! May have intentionally rigged my answers with a slice of cherry pie and murder. :P I think you can still go to the diner in North Bend that was used for the Double R shots!

  4. Jack Rabbit Slim’s from Pulp Fiction! my only complaint is that there’s no option for ‘100% tip and a smile to the overworked and underpaid waitress who’s kept your coffee topped up all afternoon’

  6. Double R Diner. As an older trans woman, I will admit Twin Peaks was hugely influential on my 12 year old just learning I was a woman self. Denise Bryson, ahead of her time.

  7. Liberty Diner, from Queer As Folk!
    I’ve never set foot in a diner in my life, but hey this makes it easier not to skew the result a certain way, right?

    • lol! on queer as folk (us 1999), sharon gless played Debbie Novotny, Michael’s mom and everyone’s favorite bewigged waitress at Liberty Diner. Decades before, she played half of a lady crimefighting duo in Cagney & Lacey (1982).

  10. I have also never seen Twin Peaks, but that didn’t stop me from getting it both times I took this. I am a fan of cherry pie.

  12. “You’re ice-cream colored and full of teenagers with dreams. Dreams for beauty school, dreams for graduation, dreams for cars…but mostly, dreams for going steady. The hormones are louder than a T-bird in here!”

    I am, apparently, the Frosty Palace from Grease 😂

    • OH NO KATIE I WAS THINKING OF FARGO, IN MY HEAD THEY’RE SIMILAR because I was very small when both of them came out 😭

      • Haha that makes sense! I was confused because I thought I had missed something in Twin Peaks, and I didn’t know how that could be!

  17. I’m Luke’s Diner! I can’t think of a greater compliment than, ‘You’ve got the soul of a hardware store’

Comments are closed.