Ever since I watched Princess Cyd in 2018 (and then rewatched it the next day with my then partner) I’ve wanted to get a pit bull and name her Princess Cyd. Imagine! Most days she’d be called Cyd. When she’s really good Princess. And when she’s bad Cydney. It’s a perfect dog name, and it would be a great excuse to tell more people to watch Stephen Cone’s lovely film.

Alas, I still do not have Princess Cyd. I grew up with dogs, so I know the responsibility being a proper dog owner entails. Dogs are expensive and they require a stability I don’t have. I’m in a long distance relationship and maybe if I wanted to get a tiny dog, I could plan to travel with them, but a pit bull or even most pit bull mixes would be too challenging to take back and forth between Brooklyn and Toronto.

But I haven’t given up! Someday I’ll have Princess Cyd — after all I moved into an apartment near a dog park like some chidlless 30 year olds move into an area with good elementary schools — and, in the mean time, I’ve come up with this list of other excellent dog names from other queer movies.

1. Jaguar, for a dog who is bold and would risk anything for someone they love like Maria Schrader in Aimée & Jaguar
2. Benedetta (Benny for short), for a dog who according to some may not go to heaven like Virginie Efira in Benedetta
3. PJ and Josie, for a pair of dogs who like to play and fight like Rachel Sennott and Ayo Edebiri in Bottoms
4. Corky, for a dog with a tough exterior and a tender heart like Gina Gershon in Bound
5. Graham, for a dog who will love you before you love yourself like Clea DuVall in But I’m a Cheerleader
6. (Martha) Dobie, for a dog who was named after a Harry Potter character years after that would’ve been cool but now it feels really not cool so you want to change it to Shirley MacLaine’s character in The Children’s Hour
7. Valentine, for a dog who will follow you around as your little assistant like Kristen Stewart in Clouds of Sils Maria
8. Zoinx, for a dog who is an out-of-this-world weirdo like Susan Ziegler in Codependent Lesbian Space Alien Seeks Same
9. Lucy Diamond, for a dog who is a lovable villain like Jordana Brewster in D.E.B.S.
10. Zen, for a dog who reminds you to be a free ass motherfucker like Tessa Thompson in Dirty Computer
11. Ronit, for a dog who likes to slobber like Rachel Weisz in Disobedience
12. Diggy, for a dog who will stay by your side through any amount of hijinks like Kiersey Clemons in Dope
13. Sergio, for a dog who will stay in bed with you for days like Laia Costa in Duck Butter
14. Jobu Tupaki, for a dog who traverses the multiverse like Stephanie Hsu in Everything Everywhere All At Once
15. Queen Anne, for a dog who gets what she wants when she wants it like Olivia Colman in The Favourite
16. Legs, for a dog who is fiercely loyal and just fierce like Angelina Jolie in Foxfire
17. Idgie, for a dog who loves pie like Mary Stuart Masterson in Fried Green Tomatoes
18. Ricki, for a dog who loves turkey time like Jennifer Lopez in Gigli (actually turkey is bad for dogs, but also Ben is bad for Jen so…)
19. Harper, for a dog who you want to give a second chance — and a third and a fourth — like Mackenzie Davis in Happiest Season
20. Theodora, for a dog who will cuddle you through life’s scariest moments like Claire Bloom in The Haunting
21. Paulie, for a dog who loves a little too hard or just really loves birds like Piper Perabo in Lost & Delirious
22. Dylan, for a dog who loves her mommy like Lil Harlow in Mommy Is Coming
23. Lady Divine, for a dog who is fun and filthy like Divine in Multiple Maniacs
24. Nimona, for a dog with spunk who is hard to pin down like Chloë Grace Moretz in Nimona
25. Diana Nyad, for a dog who really loves to swim like Annette Bening in NYAD
26. Tory, for a dog who really loves to run like Patrice Donnelly in Personal Best
27. Sophie, for a dog who will live with you and your soulmate on the French seaside like Lùana Bajrami in Portrait of a Lady on Fire
28. Cleo, for a dog who is a ride or die like Queen Latifah in Set It Off
29. Lydia Tàr, for a dog who controls all of your time like Cate Blanchett in TÀR
30. Suzie, for a dog who is a wild thing like Neve Campbell in Wild Things

Or, you can always honor the memory of an Autostraddle icon, and name your dog Carol. <3

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