We’ve already told you about the more than 50 queer horror films and shows available to stream this month, but perhaps you were overwhelmed by such a monstrous list. Perhaps you need your very own horror host to point you in the right direction. Perhaps you want the stars to tell you what queer horror to watch. I’ve got you! By combining our latest astrologer Deb’s advice for your sign during this celestial season along with my encyclopedic knowledge of queer horror, I’ve put together a straightforward guide on which horror movie you should prioritize watching this month, based on your sun sign.
Horoscopes can be a useful way of understanding ourselves and working toward personal growth based on our present strengths and weaknesses; horrorscopes, meanwhile, can let us avoid that personal growth by reveling in our own mess and embracing our more, ahem, evil sides 🔪. And doesn’t that sound more fun?! But also don’t forget to refer back to your horoscope for Libra season!
Aries: The Perfection
You’re supposed to be taking this time to reflect on your goals and refresh your life, so it sounds like a good time to revel in the psychological horror of perfectionism. That’s at the core of this film set at a prestigious music school where cello prodigy Charlotte has recently been replaced by a new star pupil, Lizzie. This is a sinister and disturbing film, but you can handle it.
Taurus: Scream VI
You’re supposed to be shaking up your daily routine this season, and Scream VI knows a thing or two about shaking up routine: It’s the first Scream film set in New York City! It also significantly shakes up the final girl format (much like Scream V does, too). But also let Scream VI be a bit of a lesson for you: While this film does take some big swings, it ultimately could have taken way more risks, so don’t let me say the same about you! Take the bigger risks, even if you’re afraid!
Gemini: Black Swan
This feels like an obvious choice for Geminis in general, given Black Swan‘s duality and doppelgänger-based horror, but beyond that, astrologer Deb writes you could do with a bold wardrobe refresh and boosted confidence this season. You’re kind of like Nina Sayers breaking free of her shell a bit and taking cues from bad girl Lily. Never mind that this could take a dangerous turn, as it does for everyone in Black Swan…that’s for future you to deal with!!!!
Cancer: Sissy
You’re supposed to be embracing self care this season. Sissy is more about the horrific underbelly of self-care influencer content, but just consider this a warning of what will happen if you go too far off the deep end of personal enlightenment.
Leo: The Haunting
Astrologer Deb said you should make more time to spend at home, so why not lean all the way in with one of the best haunted house tales ever told? If you’ve already blasted through your annual The Haunting of Hill House rewatch, it’s the right time to go back to this 1963 adaptation of the Shirley Jackson classic. The queerness is more subtextual than in the Netflix series, but it’s still there like a spectral presence.
Virgo: All Cheerleaders Die
I’m taking the word “transform” from your horoscope and transforming it into a suggestion to watch a horror movie about monstrous transformation! In this film, a squad of cheerleaders — including a queerleader — transform into bloodthirsty beings. Two of them also swap bodies, so there are all kinds of transformations afoot. Embrace it!
Libra: Bodies, Bodies Bodies
You’ve got some social energy this season, and you’re supposed to be having some lighthearted fun, so it sounds like a great time for a horror film about a group of friends that mixes its scares with comedy. Before watching Bodies, Bodies, Bodies, you should rope some friends into a party (or, even better, a sleepover) where you play a throwback scary game like Bloody Mary. Then, so long as nothing goes too awry, watch the movie together!
Scorpio: Jennifer’s Body
Streaming on Peacock and Hulu and Disney+ and Paramount+
Again, much like recommending Black Swan to Geminis, this movie rec for Scorpios feels evergreen. But astrologer Deb also writes you should “Embrace the intensity of your emotions as it’s part of what makes you so powerful” and “Focus on feeding the connections that accept both your light and dark sides,” and WELL, that sounds a lot like pulling a Jennifer’s Body to me!!
Sagittarius: Bad Things
Going on a friend trip was one of the pieces of advice in your horoscope this season, and as far as horror movies about “friend trips gone wrong” go, Bad Things is one of the best! Hopefully your next friend trip features fewer ghosts!
Capricorn: Hellbent
I’m gonna take the fact that you’re supposed to be buckling down this season to mean you’re supposed to become a little hellbent in your life. Hopefully going after the things you want doesn’t go the same for you as it does for the gaggle of gay men at the heart of kinky, creepy slasher Hellbent. Regardless, this is an underrated film you should get your little Capricorn eyeballs on.
Aquarius: We’re All Going to the World’s Fair
You’re on a quest for knowledge, connection, and new experiences this season, and We’re All Going to the World’s Fair is one of my favorite horror films about loneliness and the desperate search for meaningful connection. It’s very unsettling! But I find Aquariuses to be unsettling (in a good way), so it may just be a perfect fit.
Pisces: The Hunger
Well when I saw “surge of passion” in your horoscope this season, I simply knew immediately I’d have to recommend The Hunger, a horror movie so hot that I find it hard to actually feel fear when watching it!
HORROR IS SO GAY is Autostraddle’s annual celebration of queer horror.
