This recap of Wynonna Earp: Vengeance will contain spoilers as two queer writers break down every gay morsel of this 90-minute special.

Hello and welcome to this recap of Wynonna Earp: Vengeance! If you can believe it, it’s been almost three and a half years since I last came to you with a Wynonna Earp recap. I actually had to check that math twice because it hasn’t felt nearly that long! I guess since I am always talking about, rewatching, living and breathing Earp, it always seems relevant. And also, I’ve been recapping this show since the second episode aired (aka since Nicole Haught swaggered into Shorty’s to find Waverly and the broken tap), which was somehow over EIGHT whole years ago, and what a journey it’s been. Through cancellations and back, over the hurdles of pregnancies, strikes, and a literal pandemic, Wynonna Earp has continued to survive and thrive. Her latest incredible feat has been an adventure across platforms to Tubi, where we begin this 90-minute special. My recapping partner in crime Nic is here with me as we take you through each Earp-tastic moment, and hope you’ll join us for this hootenanny.

Take it away, Nic!

Nic: We open on the “Welcome to Purgatory” sign, a comfortingly familiar reminder that we are back home. A man parks his truck and heads to a small fishing hut in the middle of an icy lake, and wouldn’t ya know it, it’s Randy Nedley!! Gosh, I’ve missed him. He’s not alone for long though because his new BFF Mercedes Gardner joins him in her full highlighter outfit glory.

Valerie: Ladies and gentlereaders, Dani Fucking Kind.

Nic: Now this is a friendship I didn’t expect, yet somehow makes perfect sense; I just know they’ve spent the last two years lovingly annoying the heck out of each other! They trade quips and start to settle in for a relaxing day of ice fishing, Mercedes with her monogrammed bait and tackle fanny pack and Nedley with his shortbread martini, when suddenly the bells on every single fishing line start to jingle. There’s something huge swimming underneath them, so instead of waiting around to see what it is (growth!), they high-tail it back to their cars. What they’re lucky enough to miss is a familiar sight in Purgatory, an amorphous black tentacle-like goo of some sort bursts out of the tiny fishing hut.

In their rush, Mercedes and Nedley get separated and as Nedley’s grabbing his gun, Mercedes comes face to face with a speedy blonde in low-rise boot cut jeans who tosses her around like a ragdoll.

Valerie: I had in my notes that she “Knox Mercedes down.” Get it? Because she’s played by Karen Knox? Okay I’ll see myself out of your section now…

Nic: Hahaha never change, friend. Nedley runs over and squares up against the woman, but she’s too fast for him. It’s a classic Purgatory story: newcomer shows up, attacks first, and inevitably asks for the Earp heir later. Too bad for blondie though because Mercedes, bloodstained face and all, tells her that Wynonna doesn’t live in Purgatory anymore. Girlie isn’t worried because she intends to use Wynonna’s besties as bait. And bait her she does, by ripping Mercedes limb from limb and using her body parts to spell out “EARP” in the snow. (Okay so Mercedes is still a vampire right? Maybe if they get all of her limbs close enough together she’ll come back???) Anyway, it’s opening credits time!! We’re so back!

Valerie: Right after her name is emblazoned across the screen, we get our first glimpse at the titular heroine as Wynonna Earp herself makes her way through the backroom of a casino in Tombstone, Arizona in a slinky sequined number. Before she gets onto the casino floor, she is delighted to see her face plastered to the wall with big bold letters declaring her blacklisted. She wears a shit-eating grin as she struts through the casino floor, our beloved Tell That Devil playing in the background. This may technically be a 90-minute special and not just a long episode of Wynonna Earp, but that doesn’t mean we don’t get our theme song after the cold open.

Valerie: The tables are hot and the queens are high.

Valerie: Wynonna plops herself down at a Blackjack table, but before she can even get her flirty one-liner out, security grabs her by the ear and drags her to the back rooms. Guards tie her to a chair and start punching her, but she’s still delivering her classic Wynonna-isms (e.g. “You hit like a girl: hard and with perfect form.”) She starts to joke about the Wyatt Earp paraphernalia in the room; they clearly don’t know who they’ve lassoed. Doc gets dragged in, surprised to find his face plastered on slot machines, which confuses the baddies.

Wynonna lets it slip that she has a weapon, and the guards find Peacemaker in her Spanx. When the guard holds it and it’s pointing toward the owner of the casino, Peacemaker glows, which lets them know the owner is a demon, and it’s so on.

Nic: Meanwhile, it’s a super normal sunny day in downtown Purgatory and Sheriff Nicole Haught is greeting residents by name, including Chrissy Nedley and her baby (fun fact: this is Dana Christina’s real-life baby!) and werewolf Freddy who’s still doing his flower thing! I got real-life butterflies seeing our sheriff smiling and rocking that Stetson again, but it was nothing compared to the feeling of seeing WAYHAUGHT WAY-WIVES being adorable and flirty in the middle of the Purgatory street! Nicole pretends to give a short-haired Waverly a parking ticket but can barely keep up the ruse before her wife flirts her way out of it. My face hurt from smiling so much during this entire scene. Nicole and Waverly have always been comfortable with each other and so much of that is a testament to the actors’ comfort, but this banter felt a little different in the best way. It felt lived in. It felt like home.

“Anytime and any place you say that you need me, I’ll be there soon as I can. Nothing I won’t sacrifice to lift the burden while you fly, I just wanna see you safely land.”

Nic: They call each other “wife” about 47 more times before Bunny Fucking Loblaw (!!) interrupts, calls out their public dis-gays of affection, and tells them she’s worried about Nedley because he didn’t show up to their sambo karate class. WayHaught figure Randy probably got a little too drunk the night before, but they decide to head out to the edge of the Ghost River Triangle just to make sure. Before they head out, Nicole shares Wynonna’s latest postcard with Waverly who is so excited and relieved that her sister seems to be in a good place.

Valerie: Hilariously, that “good place” is in the casino backrooms, kicking ass and taking names with her main man. While they fight, Wynonna laughs and says that this was their plan all along, to get caught cheating and get taken to their vault. The owner calls her a slut, and she sends him to hell about it. There’s one man standing who doesn’t want to fight them, but Doc isn’t interested in what he has to say, so he throws a knife at his hand to prove his point and the man scurries away.

The fight got Wynonna all hot and bothered, so before they crack the safe, Wynonna turns to Doc for a little hanky with a dash of panky. When we were watching together Friday night, Nic pointed out to me what I had missed the first time I watched: they are having sex right in front of unconscious guards. I hope they were really out and not just faking it like they’re in college and their roommate is getting it on across the room.

They presumably get into the vault eventually, but the only crack we see at the end of this scene is buttcrack.

Nic: *snort* Say crack again. Ahem, back in Purgatory Nicole and Waverly pull up in Sheriff Mobile 69 and find Nedley and Mercedes’ cars parked without their drivers’ anywhere in sight. Nicole searches the woods and finds fishing bait in the snow and starts to yell Nedley’s name. She soon finds him alive but badly injured and muttering about how he couldn’t help Mercedes but he knew Nicole would find him. *crying emoji* While Nicole calls 9-1-1 for help, Waverly stumbles upon her last name spelled out with Mercedes’ body parts; a warning most definitely not left by a bear. She picks up the phone and immediately calls her sister.

Valerie: After their fight-and-fuck sesh at the casino, Wynonna and Doc head back to their motel room to count their winnings. They’ve been at this for two years, and Doc still hopes to eventually settle down on a farm someday so they can bring their daughter Alice home.

Valerie: I need to get a cowboy hat to hide in when I’m avoiding my feelings.

Valerie: In a classic diversion tactic, Wynonna asks if he wants to hit the Blackjack table, but Doc points out that every time she does this, Wynonna only loses them money. Doc insists he loves her, but can’t deny the truth, and Wynonna lashes out and calls him boring. He takes deep offense to this and says he’s going to go out and get some air (to which she hilariously quips that he should stay and get some “heir” instead), but he has to go. Wynonna makes it clear this isn’t the first time he’s done this, because she asks if he’ll be gone for hours or days “this time.” And that she never bothers to wait up for him. After he leaves, she looks at a photo of Alice on the nightstand and turns it face down, because she’s not ready to quite literally face her fears (or her feelings.).

Before long, Wynonna gets Waverly’s call about the Mercedes message in the woods, and packs her plastic bag of crap to head back to Purgatory. (Maybe the next thing they can buy with their winnings is a suitcase. Or even a backpack.) She tries to call Doc, but he left his phone, so she leaves him a note stabbed into his pillow instead. How romantic.

Before she heads out, she puts on her iconic fringed leather jacket. Ready or not, here she comes.

Valerie: The way the music ramped up when she opened her closet was :chef’s kiss:

Nic: Wynonna’s got Paco’s limo and thanks to that sweet Tubi money we get a gorgeous driving montage of her heading back to Purgatory. She drives onto the Homestead and she (and I, to be honest) lets out a contented sigh; the heir is back home. As she enters the barn she is delighted to be greeted by her sister and her sister’s woman’s double metal ear muffed hello of two guns pointed directly at her head. Waverly can barely contain her excitement at seeing her sister, her hero, her champion again. You don’t even have to look too closely to see a little bit of Dom, Melanie, and Kat’s joy come through as these three smile and embrace each other.

Valerie: I missed this trio so much.

They head into the Homestead which looks a bit different than the last time we all saw it, because REASONS. The kitchen is in a different spot and Wynonna’s room is now a craft room, but don’t worry about it! Wynonna quips about redoing the stairs (LOL) before zeroing in on a hilarious HOMO SWEET HOMESTEAD sign they got because of a typo/reclaimed phrase/reclaimed wood situation. And speaking of reclaimed wood, Nicole asks Wynonna where Doc is. She expertly (not really) changes the subject and heads into the craft room, complete with a chore wheel! (And yes I did pause to see who was responsible for what, leave me alone.) As Wynonna examines all manner of BBD leftovers and crafty paraphernalia, she picks up the Elchur Minificial Box of Containment which, based on its very specific name and Waverly’s panicked reaction to it, is probably totally fine and normal.

The three get serious as they talk about the attack on Mercedes. There’s no way it could be anything other than a demon, but at least the heir is back home again to fix things. Once Wynonna leaves, Waverly tones down her excitement when she realizes Nicole’s not matching her vibe. Nicole tells Waverly that she just wishes she had talked to her before calling Wynonna, and Waverly says she doesn’t need her wife’s permission to call her sister, which I don’t think is what Nicole meant, but she doesn’t get a chance to clarify before Waverly walks out.

Back at the motel, Doc comes in with an arm full of apology coffee but Wynonna is nowhere to be found. He finds the note she left where, in a perfect callback to her lack of spelling skills, she has misspelled “trouble.”

Valerie: At first I thought she maybe spelled it “troubel” but after the “how many rs” question later, I think she might have gone with “troubble” – which also tracks with her not knowing how many s’s are in “possessed” back in Round One of Earps vs Goo. This doesn’t matter but it’s something I thought too much about.

Smash cut to the most epic funeral portrait you’ve ever seen. I would bet Mercedes got Glamour Shots done for this very occasion, just in case, and it’s set up in a place of honor at her wake – which is taking place in a bar, of course. Next to the portrait are the neon snakeskin boots she died in with flowers in them as a morbid centerpiece. A boot-quet, if you will. (Full credit for that pun to Nic. She said that on Friday and I laughed so hard.)

The Earp Sisters stumble in, and Waverly is wearing the gayest outfit I’ve seen in a very long time. Her short hair is styled into a bit of a baby fauxhawk, she’s wearing a tank top with a mesh tank top over it, and what look like feather tattoos poking out on her back. (I have no idea if these are Dom’s actual tattoos, and if they ARE their real tatts, if they got them for Waverly or if it’s unrelated and just worked out so the makeup artists let them keep them visible for these shots. I personally am choosing to believe our Angel Waverly got them to remind her of when she had literal wings.)

The Earp Sisters are clearly already drunk, and Nicole is already annoyed with them. The girls promise they did plenty of research before they started catching up and drinking about it, and Nicole gets a message so she leaves the girls to their cocktails and heads outside.

When she’s gone, Wynonna calls Nicole uptight, but Waverly says she’s just worried. In the two years since Wynonna has been home, Nicole has gotten Purgatory in tip top shape. No one is shouting “chicken kicker” at her when she walks down the street, they don’t have demon attacks every Tuesday and Friday; she’s finally finished building the perfect sandcastle, and she doesn’t want the chaos that is Wynonna Earp to stomp all over it.

Wynonna is a little offended, saying she is the one who PROTECTS them from demons, but before she can get the d word out, Waverly interrupts her. They change the subject by toasting to Mercedes and the boots she died in, when two mean girls come over and interject and insult Mercedes. And like, listen, I get it, Mercedes hung around with Willa, she couldn’t have been a good person when she was a teenager, but that was like 20 years ago, and it’s literally her WAKE. It might be time to lay off, Jasmine and Sheree. Anyway, Wynonna ignores them and returns a compliment Mercedes once gave her and calls her a “crazy, awesome bitch.”

The Mean girls start to reminisce about high school, and how they all spent time with their friend Penny at the Hanly School for Wayward Girls. (Which, fun fact, was named for long-time Wynonna Earp script coordinator and all-around gem of a human Christin Hanly.) Penny is at home because her kid’s dad is being a dipshit, and the running theory I saw on Twitter Friday night is that Penny’s baby daddy is Champ, but the point of this line is to set Jasmine up to get a dig in at Wynonna for using demons as an excuse for why she shot her dad in the back when she was twelve.

That’s about as much playing nice as Wynonna can handle, and Waverly knows it, warning the women that they’re about to get Earped.

Nic: It turns out the text Nicole got in the bar was from Nedley, so she goes outside to get some air and check on him. The two commiserate about Hurricane Wynonna blowing into town, and Nedley accuses Nicole of being jealous but that’s not it at all. They’re opposites and that’s why their friendship works. Randy immediately understands; he’s hurting real bad over the loss of Mercedes, despite her lack of rizz (lol). Nicole tries to get him to go inside but he’s reluctant. She reassures him that what happened wasn’t his fault, and while that might be true, Nedley also knows that had it been 20 years earlier he would have been more on his game. Not only that, the attack shook him because it’s been awhile since they’ve had to worry about demons.

All of the town has gotten used to a frankly boring day-to-day life thanks to Nicole. (see aforementioned sandcastle.) She wants to maintain that normalcy no matter what, so she admits that she’s been spreading information about it being an animal attack. Nedley doesn’t think this is the move though; when he was the sheriff he lied to the town because he was afraid. He warns her not to confuse protecting people with deciding for them. It’s a mistake Nicole’s made once before when she waited to give Waverly her DNA results. She tries to convince Nedley, and probably also herself, that this is just a one-off she can handle when they hear a “sinner sister”-tuned commotion coming from the bar.

Valerie: Sure enough, inside, a full-on brawl has started. Wynonna is using one of Mercedes’ boots as a weapon, both she and Waverly have broken bottles they’re wielding against the Mean Girls. Nicole comes in and starts strong-arming her wife and her best friend out of the bar, and Jasmine says she could have taken “The little lesbian.” As they’re dragged away, Wynonna shouts that Waverly is bisexual, and Waverly says that actually she identifies as pansexual now, and Wyonna loves this journey for her. Touching moments in the middle of a bar fight is peak Earp and I love it.

Nicole puts on her daddy voice (Nic: interjection: HNNNGGG) and says they’re done and she’s calling them a cab before spending all night writing this brawl up in a report. Wynonna feigns feeling bad about Nicole being mad, and Waverly reassures her that Nicole loves paperwork. Wynonna mimes honking Nicole’s boobs, which is her final straw; she is so done with these two. Nicole calls reassuring things over her shoulder to the rest of the bar patrons while she shoves her two favorite people (who are also currently her least favorite people) outside.

Valerie: “They ran into my broken bottle. They ran into my broken bottle ten times.” – the Earp sisters, probably

Nic: As the rest of the town sleeps, blondie saunters down Purgatory’s main street and into the police station where Nicole is working late after most likely begrudgingly tucking the Earp sisters into bed. She immediately clocks Nedley’s bandana on the woman and knows this must be who’s responsible for the attack. Just so there’s no question about it though, the woman presents Mercedes’ head on a pizza platter. And like, to be fair, homegirl did follow Mercedes’ wishes by leaving her perfect face intact! I’m just saying, I’m not ruling out a comeback.

Nicole draws her weapon but new girl has that Twilight-vampire speed and knocks her to the ground. Nicole gets a shot off, but the bullet does nothing. The woman reveals that she’s here for the first of three precious things she needs in order to get revenge on Wynonna: Nicole’s wedding ring. As she villain monologues, Nicole manages to briefly lock her in a cell but bars cannot contain this woman because she walks right through them and goes at Nicole yet again.

I swear, every time she’s in the police station Nicole’s either getting thrown about or shot or puking up frogs. Hasn’t Nicole Haught been through enough?!

Valerie: Not to mention Kat was pregnant while they filmed this, and while I’m sure her stunt double had her work cut out for her, I loved that Nicole was still a badass even in bulky coats and thick sweaters.

Nic: The woman forcefully removes the wedding ring by breaking Nicole’s finger, and the sound of a thousand screaming queers echo in the distance. Just kidding, it’s Doc and he comes in hot, shooting the woman square in the chest. It doesn’t take and she leaves to find Wynonna, the “Dawson’s Freak” (band name, called it!). Nicole tells Doc that this particular revenge quest feels more personal than the others.

Valerie: Wynonna and Waverly are safe and sound at the Homestead, cuddled under blankets in front of the fireplace, Waverly keeping the party going with a little more whiskey, but Wynonna turning down her offer of a nightcap. Wynonna admits she thought Nicole would be more excited to see her, and this is pushing at a particularly sensitive emotional bruise she’s been sporting. She feels like Too Much, it’s something she’s been bumping up against with Doc lately, and to have her bestie making her feel this way now too, it’s got her a bit down. She admits to Waverly that she and Doc are golden when the adrenaline is high, but during the in-between moments, they can’t seem to say the quiet parts out loud to each other. The quiet part being that Wynonna is afraid to settle down, because as soon as they settle down, it will be time to get Alice, and what if she’s not the right person to raise her? She has Aunt Gus taking care of her, and she’s FIVE now. She knows Alice is safe, and she can’t convince herself that taking her back is the right move for her baby girl. She has lost so many people, how can she be sure she can keep Alice safe? Waverly is supportive but says the only thing Wynonna can do now is tell her person how she really feels.

Wynonna takes this moment to slap down an Uno Reverse card, saying she knows all the things Waverly has been doing to keep busy aren’t the things she really wants to be doing. Wynonna rattles off her CV, and it sounds a lot like the Waverly Wynonna found when she rolled back into town on her 27th birthday, not the insatiably curious and fierce Waverly she left in Purgatory two years ago. Waverly confesses that Jeremy has asked her to help him restructure Black Badge…in Egypt. There’s a twinkle in her eye, because she’s literally never left the Ghost River Triangle…but her wife physically can’t. As part of the deal to save Waverly, Nicole agreed to be The Shield, the official protector of the Ghost River Triangle, which means she can’t cross the border. Waverly doesn’t want to leave Nicole, but Wynonna points out that it wouldn’t be forever, and that Nicole would want this for Waverly. Wynonna assures her Nicole will be fine without her, that she can take care of herself. And, not helping Wynonna’s point at all, that’s the moment Doc bursts through the door with a battered and bloody Nicole on his arm.

Nic: Just like the old days, the core four sit around a table catching each other up on the latest supernatural horror to befall them, and specifically, Nicole in this case. Waverly cannot believe that the woman took Nicole’s wedding ring AND broke her finger to do it. As is her wont, Wynonna quips about WayHaught getting creative with their sex lives, but Nicole helpfully informs her that that particular digit isn’t the primary one for that activity. Nicole then describes the woman in a manner typical for this show – hair first (big blonde mane) and tentacle powers after. They figure she must be a demon since bullets had no effect. This scene is one of my favorites in Vengeance because it captures what I love so much about Wynonna Earp. There is very real danger afoot that they need to discuss, and they’re gonna discuss it, but they’re gonna do it while making side jokes and getting distracted by things like which finger is the ideal one to lose if you had to lose one. And Waverly says it right then; sure the situation is balls, but dammit I’ve missed this batshittery.

“This is my family. I found it, all on my own. It’s little, and broken, but still good. Yeah, still good.”

Nic: Nicole tells the group that the woman needs three precious things and that she referred to Wynonna as “Dawson’s Freak”. She managed to snag a bracelet off her though, and both Earp sisters immediately recognize it as one that Tiny Waverly made for Teen Wynonna. Wynonna gets up and leaves and Nicole follows her out the door, but Waverly stops Doc from joining them so she can have a lil one-on-one with him.

Valerie: Nicole follows her sister-in-law out to the barn, where Wynonna explains that when she was 15, her and some other teens from her group home (who called themselves Dawson’s Freaks, because it was the early aughts) came to the barn one night so that Wynonna could prove once and for all that she isn’t crazy and that demons are real, and her family is cursed. The trio of girls (one of which is played by showrunner Emily Andras’ real life daughter!) aren’t all that impressed. Teen Penny thought they’d at least get to see the murder house (“It’s a murder home,” Teen Wynonna corrected), but Wynonna has a plan. She has the demon Clootie’s lasso, some ammolite, and a spell that can only be done tonight, on the night of the Hunger Moon.

She starts the spell, and there are some strange sounds and the ammolite rock tips over. The girls start to freak out, and then they hear sirens and they know they’re busted. They hear a young officer Nedley telling them they’re under arrest for trespassing. Which feels like an especially rude charge to give Wynonna specifically, since it’s her land.

We flash back to present day, where Wynonna finishes explaining to Nicole that she started bouncing from mental institutions and juvie until she turned 18. And that was also twenty years ago, and tonight’s another Hunger Moon, which can’t be a coincidence, not in Purgatory. Though she doesn’t know exactly how Bitch Barbie fits into the equation, since she wasn’t part of the ritual she did with Dawson’s Freaks, but she knows it’s connected somehow. What they do know is that she wants another magical item from them. Nicole warns her not to use her wife as bait, and Wynonna quips about Nicole being the one keeping Waverly “on a hook” – it slips out in that passive aggressive way when you have been waiting to talk to someone about something but then they piss you off so you blurt it out early. Nicole watches Wynonna walk away from the conversation she started, wanting to know what the hell she means by that.

Nic: Meanwhile inside the Homestead, Doc tries to delay his tongue lashing by sweetly telling Waverly how wonderful it is to see her and her fetching new haircut. Waves will not be deterred and open hand slaps him across the face for whoring and gambling, but mostly for leaving Wynonna alone at night. He reassures her that all he does is walk and birdwatch, and follows up with his side of the Feelings Wynonna shared with her sister earlier. What Wynonna sees as being Too Much, Doc experiences as the woman he loves being addicted to calamity. And because he loves her he’s gone along with the ride for the most part, but he’s different now and Waverly can see that. It’s not a bad thing though. She quotes the great poet Megan Thee Stallion and says “change is natural, so why should it feel like a betrayal?” Doc’s been playing Doc Holliday™ for so long and maybe it’s the mortality of it all, but he’s ready to just be Henry, and he hopes that’s enough for the mustang he will never tire of loving.

(Side note: between this and Waverly quoting Kendrick Lamar during the series, I want to see her Spotify Wrapped SO BAD. And speaking of Spotify, when we watched together Valerie noted how hilarious it must have been for Doc to click on Megan Thee Stallion like “oooh, I love stallions!” and then the shock he must have gotten at the result.)

Their chat is suddenly cut short by the one security guard who got away from Wynonna and Doc’s casino fight.

Valerie: Nicole follows Wynonna out of the barn, determined to finish this conversation, and Wynonna tells her that she can’t protect things by making them feel small, which is something she’s particularly sensitive to. Wynonna thinks Nicole should warn the town about the demon, but Nicole doesn’t want to scare them. Nicole sighs, frustrated. She would literally kill for her best friend, but Wynonna is driving her up a wall right now. She says Waverly is just stressed is all, and nothing stresses her out more than – and here’s where Nicole and Wynonna talk over each other. At the same time, Nicole says “big sister,” Wynonna says “wasted potential.” They both look at each other as if they’d been slapped.

Valerie: They have really gotten the “fighting like sisters” thing down pat.

Valerie: After they collect themselves, they keep up their fight as they storm into the Homestead, where their argument is stopped short by the sight of Doc and Waverly being held at gunpoint by aforementioned security guard Wynonna roughed up in Tombstone, who says his name is Lafferty. He tells them he was there undercover, and then mansplains Black Badge to them, former Black Badge agents, and says Chief Chetri sent him. Waverly checks his badge, which checks out, and tosses it to Wynonna, who hilariously barely even attempts to catch it, sending it flying to the ground.

While Team Earp banters, Lafferty loses his patience. He doesn’t think they’re taking this seriously; what he doesn’t understand is that they take it so seriously they no longer have to act like they take it seriously. He wants in, and even though Wynonna protests, her friends remind her that they’re down a few allies, so she relents and says Lafferty can join the team for a probationary period. Next up: A Plan.

Nic: And now it’s time for one of my favorite media devices: describe the plan while we watch the plan! While Wynonna cases the Hanly Home for Girls, WayHaught will stay back to research safely at the Homestead, and the boys will dig up old BBD weapons. Cut to said boys where, as Doc pulls a massive case of weapons from its hiding spot, he tells Lafferty that he liberated them from a friend who was also from Arizona; RIP Agent Xavier Dolls. They bro out over the weapons and Lafferty initiates a shooting contest because what else are you going to do when hanging with Doc Freakin’ Holliday? They go shot for shot while Lafferty audaciously questions Wynonna’s worthiness until the very last shot which Doc misses. Reader, when I tell you I audibly gasped at the miss.

Doc relents that apparently he’s a loser, and a man out of time. I love the amount of introspection we see from Doc throughout the entire special. From heisting with Wynonna to coming back to Purgatory to getting back to his shooting roots, his body is present but his mind is busy coming to terms with the man he is now being different from the man he once was. He describes himself as a man out of time in every sense – he is quite literally existing in a time period so far removed from his birth, while realizing that his mortality means for the first time in over a century, he can imagine an end for John Henry Holliday.

Valerie: The Wayward School for Girls has long since shut down, and while Wynonna picks through the rubble she flashes back to when she was 15. She remembers being scolded by a woman who worked there for always getting into trouble. What Wynonna doesn’t know yet, but we now learn, this woman is the blondie who has been harassing them: Mina. Mina tells Teen Wynonna that she needs to get her act together, and gives her a book called “Heel Thyself: Maybe It’s You.” She tells Wynonna she has to change, has to tone down to fit in. And listen, I’m no Theo Crain child psychologist, but I did go to school for childhood education, and also have been a teeanger, and I can tell you for sure that this is not how you talk to teenagers. Mina calls Teen Wynonna selfish and weaponizes Waverly to try to keep her in line. Wynonna spits vitriol back at her, saying Mina is stuck here working in the group home she grew up in. Mina then breaks the number one rule of working with teenagers: she lets Teen Wynonna get under her skin, and worse, she shows it.

Valerie: Kudos to the casting director, Teen Wynonna is Mel’s mini-me, down to the nose!

Valerie: When Wynonna snaps out of this memory, she finds a note in the old, rotten copy of Heel Thyself and knows she fell right into a trap, and calls Doc to warn him.

Nic: Back at the Homestead, Waverly is researching when Nicole brings her some hot cocoa. Waves initially snaps and calls her wife “Haught” (which reminds me of that TikTok trend where queer women call their partner by their first name and they FREAK OUT) before admitting that she’s just frustrated by being sidelined instead of helping. Nicole tries to remind her that she’s helping in the way she’s good at, but that’s actually the problem. So Waverly uses this moment to talk to her wife about the feelings she’s been keeping just below the surface. She’s itching to try something she’s not already good at, and at first Nicole rattles off ideas for hobbies she can try and even starts to have the kids conversation, but before Waverly can properly respond, they’re interrupted by someone poppin’ off outside. Lemme just say this, a lesser show/movie would have prolonged the “Waverly is feeling tied down and is afraid to tell Nicole so they have a bunch of side convos with everyone but each other resulting in an explosive fight” thing, but instead, Waverly…began…communicating… with her wife about how she was feeling? Groundbreaking behavior and you love to see it.

Back to the literal firecrackers going off outside the house, the very same woman who threw Nicole around the police station is now standing just outside the Homestead, what with the ammolite preventing her from entering and all.

Valerie: Imagine having to deliver your villain monologue in a chain belt and baby blue eyeshadow because you got sucked into hell in the early aughts?

Nic: She expertly goads Waverly like some kind of debate-prepped Kamala, hitting Waves right in her insecurities; it’s very reminiscent of Jolene. And also like Jolene, Mina pours her tentacle darkness into the angel before Nicole drags her away.

Once they’re back inside, Nicole is greeted not by her wife but by Gooverly 2.0, possessed by Mina and with the slicked back hair Waverly has when she goes Dark. Gooverly ransacks the house looking for the other bracelet while Nicole tries to appeal to the Waverly she knows is trapped in there. Meanwhile, Mina puts on Nicole’s wedding ring and wouldn’t you know it, she can now cross onto Earp land. The real Waverly manages to break though the possession oh so briefly, but is almost immediately overtaken and pushes Nicole out of the way to keep searching. Nicole manages to lock Gooverly in the craft room and delivers the crispest “Fuck” I’ve ever heard.

Locks are no match for Gooverly though, and she blasts through the recently re-hinged door.

There’s also a delicious callback to Julian when Gooverly says “the affairs of men are no longer my concern.” Have I mentioned that I love this show? Nicole finally manages to knock her wife out and the bracelet flies into the blonde woman’s hands. When Waverly comes to, her first concern is for her wife’s finger, while Nicole questions who the heck is Mina?

Valerie: Wynonna pulls up to the Homestead as Mina is storming off, and Wynonna recognizes her immediately. In fact, she hasn’t aged in twenty years. Mina says she’s back from hell for revenge, and Wynonna doesn’t understand how she got there. Mina says she was an innocent victim of an Earp, a tale as old as time, but Wynonna doesn’t consider playing spelling bee with limbs very “innocent.” Mina says being in her frozen pocket of hell gave her time to think of the perfect plan, and made a deal with some demons to help her go after the people Wynonna loves most. When Wynonna offers her life instead, Mina declines; she wants her former charge to suffer. Wynonna is still confused, because Mina wasn’t at the séance, but Mina says this is just what happens when people care about Wynonna. And the thing is, at the time, Wynonna thought Mina did care about her; she treated her better than either of her parents ever did, at least. But now that Wynonna has felt the love and care of actual friends, she knows Mina never cared about her. But it doesn’t matter how she felt then, because now Mina is determined to make Wynonna’s life a living hell by taking the three people who matter most to her; and as a bonus, she points out that Doc will never be able to look at her the same if Mina killed Alice. She smiles as she leaves, telling Wynonna she’ll see her in hell.

Nic: Once the team is back together inside, Wynonna shares everything she knows about Mina. She was an orphan and a resident at Hanly Home for Girls until she aged out and eventually ended up running the place. What Wynonna doesn’t understand is how Mina became inhuman because to her knowledge she was nowhere near the séance, but somehow she spent the last 20 years in literal hell. Thanks to Waverly’s impeccable research, (and knowledge of French?! Swoon.) we know that Mina can summon hellhounds that are only able to cross over to this plane one day a year on, you guessed it, the Hunger Moon. These hounds are like literal dogs with a bone; once they have a personal artifact of a target, they won’t stop until they, and I quote, “feast on the flesh of their mark.” Sounds super chill. Lafferty doesn’t seem to grasp the gravity of their situation while Wynonna takes the opposite stance; she doesn’t think simply taking out Mina with Peacemaker will work. She hangs her head and goes outside for some air.

Doc follows her out and tries to initiate some Real Talk which they’ve been avoiding since Tombstone. Wynonna wynonnas about it at first and deflects with humor, but Henry isn’t letting her off so easily. It’s been a long time since he’s seen her so scared. And he knows better than anyone what it’s like to sit in the dark with nothing but thoughts of the titular vengeance festering in one’s heart. Revenge is strong but love is stronger; it has to win. Like her mother, Alice didn’t ask to be an Earp but unlike her mother, Alice has been surrounded by love and support from the moment she was born. It may have taken Wynonna awhile to shake off the stigma of her cursed name, but they hope that cycle will break with Alice. Doc offers to go to Montana to ensure their daughter’s safety if it’ll help Wynonna to feel better, but she knows they need to make their stand now.

While Doc reassures Wynonna that he hasn’t done anything he hasn’t wanted to in the last two years, Wynonna admits that she regrets not bringing their daughter to the Homestead with them. She’s been afraid that a quiet life wouldn’t be enough for Doc Holliday, but what she doesn’t understand is that Doc Holliday died a long time ago. Alice’s father dreams of a house with a swing set overlooking the Homestead, and living out the rest of his days with his family. Fear has driven so much of Wynonna’s movements throughout the series, and for good reason. She’s had nothing but disappointment and loss from almost every person she dared to care for. So she leaned heavily into being whiskey-soaked and reckless because you can’t let anyone down if you’re meeting their low expectations, right? Does she love the chaos? I think she does; but I also think that’s because it’s familiar. She’s afraid to want something different because what if she loses it? But the relief on her face when Henry confirms that she and their daughter are enough for him, it’s one step toward finally letting herself have the life she wants.

“And I don’t know what I’m crying for, I don’t think I could love you more. It might not be long, but baby, I, I’ll love you ’til the day that I die.”.

Nic: But before they make that stand, Wynonna has one more goodbye to make.

Valerie: Waverly and Nicole are picking through their destroyed craft room, glad that Waverly has been de-gooed (not to be confused with being de-reaped), and they find the containment box from BBD they set aside as potentially helpful. Waverly thanks Nicole for saving her, and Nicole blurts out that she held her back. Waverly is confused, that’s a good thing, otherwise she would have goo’d the house down. Nicole clarifies; she’s thought about what Wynonna said and distilled it down from defensive big sister speak to concerned wife, and she realizes now that as an Earp, Waverly needs some adventure. Seeing that her sister paved the way to this conversation, Waverly holds up her end of the bargain and tells Nicole about Jeremy’s job offer. Nicole gets a little teary but promises they’ll be fine if they do long-distance marriage for a little while. Nicole wishes she could be the one to take Waverly on a magic carpet ride (there’s a sex joke in there somewhere), but Waverly echoes Nicole’s season four finale sentiment and says she is perfectly happy right here at home with her wife. They celebrate their ability to have a mature conversation and communicate their feelings by doing a different kind of scissoring than the craft room is used to seeing. And there’s no Wynonnus around to Interruptus.

Valerie: Somewhere in the Big City, Allison Hendrix just got hives and doesn’t know why.

Nic: The next morning, Wynonna goes to visit the Earp cemetery plot to say goodbye to Willa and Ward. Nedley joins her while she reminisces about being the one to put her own family in the ground. And he gives her credit for the pity party she’s throwing herself; a lesser person wouldn’t have lasted as long as she has, it’s true, she’s done whatever it takes. But one thing Randy Nedley is also going to do is read an Earp for filth. He sees that she likes doing the hard things and being special, and let’s call a spade a spade: Willa and Ward SUCKED.

Valerie: ONCE MORE, WITH FEELING! As a lifelong Willa hater (as in, she was a great villain and I love to hate her but she WAS A VILLAIN and I HATE HER) I felt very vindicated by Nedley’s little rampage.

Nic: One thing Ward did teach Nedley though is that when it comes to winning, history isn’t going to remember who played fair, they remember who won. Sometimes you need to go where the fish are, as they say. So Wynonna calls Nicole, tells her to “get off my sister and get on MapQuest” because they’re going to the enemy.

The gals have made it to the showdown location and Wynonna tells Nicole how much she appreciates that she’ll call her a jackass when she deserves it which, spoiler alert, is simply called having friends. They share a few more Hallmark moments before hunkering down and solidifying their attack plan. Doc arrives solo after telling Agent Lafferty that he doesn’t trust him and leaving him on the side of the road; this fight is for family. As they strategize, the hellhounds catch them off guard, arriving sooner than they’d anticipated.

The hounds keep comin’ and they won’t stop comin’. The team does their best to fend them off, WayHaught retreats to the high ground and adorably discuss plans for blowing out the craft room while they shoot literal hell hounds because this is Wynonna Earp where the quips don’t stop just because lives are in peril. Meanwhile, in an absolutely gorgeous shot, Wynonna and Doc do an elegant shooting dance on top of a train, taking out hound after hound until one knocks Doc to the ground. Things are looking bleak when out of nowhere, Nedley zooms in with his truck, running over hounds and adding years to my life. Wynonna looks around at the battle around her and realizes that Mina isn’t coming here; she has to take the fight to her.

Valerie: Nicole follows Wynonna out to her car and she thinks she knows what the heir is up to but she wants to hear it from her. Wynonna confirms that she’s going to confront Mina face to face, and she’s going to go alone. She is ready to fight Nicole about it, but Nicole is supportive, even as she says how much she hates the plan while fighting back tears. Wynonna wants to end this, and Nicole doesn’t like the implications of “end”, but Wynonna assures her she’s ready. She wants to save the world, “One last time.” :cue Hamilton music:

On her way out, Wynonna tells Nicole not to tell Waverly because she knew her baby girl would not stand for it. Wynonna heads to the fishing hut, makes a joke about how wet the hole is, and then jumps into the depths, her life flashing before her eyes as she makes her way to Mina’s icy hell. It’s like the Upside Down version of Supergirl’s Fortress of Solitude. And before she lands in Mina’s lair, she sees one more vision: after Mina put Teen Wynonna into the squad car (Teen Wynonna leaving her with one last truth bomb: “You don’t wish I was less, you wish you were more.”), she went back into the barn to get Wynonna’s bracelet. But when she got in there, she touched the ammolite, and got sucked into hell by the goo. And that’s why Peacemaker doesn’t work on her; she’s not Wyatt’s mistake. She’s a Revenant of Wynonna’s own doing, even if it wasn’t an intentional victim, but collateral damage like Rosita.

Valerie: Do you think they also play Blue (Da Ba Dee) on repeat in this particular corner of hell?

Nic: The two fight and Mina calls Wynonna a cunt, and suddenly I’m even sadder that Mercedes bit it, because now that I know Tubi lets us use that word, I want to hear Dani Kind say it. Wynonna knows that no matter how long she’s stuck in hell, she knows she’ll never stoop as low as Mina did and make a deal with demons. Wynonna is prepared to make Mina’s hell even hellier by shooting her with Peacemaker over and over and over again, which might not kill her, but it will make it hard for her to make peace, as it were. Mina launches herself at Wynonna and wrestles Peacemaker away from her. But as they stand face to face, Mina realizes that Wynonna was bluffing, and actually has a containment box to put her in. Mina tries to bargain her way out of it by offering Peacemaker back, saying it’s the only thing that made Wynonna anything. Wynonna says she’s wrong; her friends showed up, and they made her everything. Knowing her magic gun would want this, Wynonna sucks Mina into her box. (I’m sorry.)

Aboveground, the hellhounds all disappear and Team Earp knows this means Wynonna finished Mina off. Waverly asks where Wynonna even went, and Nicole, unable to lie to her wife, admits she knows where Wynonna went, but she promised not to tell.

Of course, she tells anyway, and while Mina’s lair is turning into Wynonna’s own personal hell (her being hunted by all the demons she put down) but staying strong because she knows her people are safe, she hears a voice calling her name. Her sister’s hand reaches down for her, and Wynonna grabs it, and lets Waverly pull her out of the darkness, just like she did for Waverly after their encounter with Jolene.

Once she’s out of the hole, Wynonna embraces her angel and her narc and can’t even be mad Nicole told on her, she’s just happy they’re all okay.

Valerie: I can’t think of many shows that center three, unique, strong women right at the heart of all the action and the saving. This show is a rare bird.

Nic: When they get back to the train station, Agent Lafferty tries to take Mina’s box without consent (rude), and admits that he lied and he’s not part of Black Badge anymore because he failed the psych eval. He says he found an organization that’s more his speed. When Wynonna sees Doc sneaking around on the periphery, she agrees to give Lafferty Mina’s box, as long as he promises not to let her out, because her child’s life depends on it. Lafferty is feeling pretty confident about his win, and says he’ll let them live in the way smarmy men say “keep the change” when the change in question is a penny, and he and his lackeys get ready to leave Purgatory.

Nic: As Not!BBD drives off, Doc scrambles to follow them, spots a horse, and knows exactly what he needs to do. DOC ON A HORSE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! DOC ON A HORSE!! When I tell y’all, I screamed!!

Doc manages to beat them to the town line where Lafferty admits to forgetting about him, a mistake that will prove to be his last. Doc refuses to let them leave with the box, and the unspoken part is “no matter what the cost.” Lafferty dares to question Doc’s abilities and calls his bluff before reminding Doc that this is what he wanted. They draw their weapons and six gunshots ring out, five of which are from Doc. All five men drop as Doc corrects the previous statement because you see no one wants this, is the thing he’s been fighting for 172 years.

Back at the station, the girls hear the shots and tell Wynonna to go help her man.

Valerie: Wynonna sees Doc coming over the hill toward her, and joyfully heads to meet him, but her face quickly falls when she realizes Doc is stumbling as if he’s injured. She runs to him and holds his head in her lap and realizes he’s lost a lot of blood. She keeps saying he’ll be okay, trying to reassure herself as much as him, but he starts talking like goodbye, saying he’s had more of his share of second chances. He tells her to tell Alice all the good things about him as he fades away, the last thing he hears is Wynonna saying his name, and the last words Doc says are “Wynonna Earp,” his voice filled with three lifetimes’ worth of love. Wynonna cries and holds the love of her life as the sun sets on Purgatory, and on Doc Holliday.

“And I don’t know what I’m crying for. I don’t think I could love you more. Might not be long, but baby, I…Don’t wanna say goodbye.”

Nic: It’s two weeks later, and Wynonna is piling rocks on Doc’s grave at that very spot on the ridge where he dreamed of living out his days with his family. His headstone reads, “John Henry Holliday; Friend, Father, Bonafide, All In.” It’s perfect, it’s him. Wynonna says that buried with him are Peacemaker, Mina, and the box; she’s going to protect them with everything she has. The camera pans out and we see that she’s talking to Chief Jeremy Chetri who flew in for the funeral. His body is feeling very Earp Con Day 3 though, so rather than stay a bit longer, he’s got to head back to Egypt especially considering that he hired the best researcher he knows to join him. Wynonna makes him promise that he’s going to fix this, and he does. Like me and probably many of you, Wynonna doesn’t accept that this is the end for her cowboy.

Nic: Back at the Homestead, Waverly is in a suit and bolo!!!! Ahem, I mean, Nicole’s helping her get ready for her trip with a list of guidelines that are mostly, “please don’t be that white person on the news for insisting on opening cursed tombs.” In all seriousness though, Nicole is so proud of her Waverly and they’re both trying to keep their emotions together during this goodbye. They’ve come so far from broken taps and stolen couch makeout sessions; from head cheerleader and rookie flat foot. They’re wives and they’re partners who see each other’s strengths and weaknesses and wants, and they love each other through all of it.

Waverly gives her wife some final advice for dealing with her sister and reminds her that she’ll be home for Easter. They embrace as we hear a song play in the background, “I’m ready now to stand my ground, there’s a fighter coming out and I won’t back down.” I’ve watched this movie four times now, and this makes me cry every single time. It’s Waverly’s time, and she’s ready.

Valerie: There’s also an unspoken promise underneath her words when Waverly says she’ll be back by Easter. She looks Nicole in the eyes and makes sure she knows Nicole believes it, because of the time she was going to be right back and accidentally was gone for eighteen months, three weeks, and four days. But with Waverly’s reassurance, Nicole lets go. Lets Waverly go.

Valerie: Our little angel is going to spread her wings. And you know Nicole will be counting the days until they’re reunited.

Nic: Before she drives off, Waverly thanks Wynonna for being the one to stay, but Wynonna’s right where she wants to be. And then the music’s lyrics shift for the older Earp, “I’m not hiding who I am, I’m not running again.”

Valerie: And then there were three. Perhaps to avoid starting to cry or having to talk about their feelings, Nedley starts complaining about his cast and Wynonna sasses at him. He asks Nicole if she’s going to stand for this; she’s Wynonna’s new boss after all. Wynonna can hardly believe she agreed to this, but she’s going to be the sheriff’s deputy, and she has the adorable ballcap to prove it.

Valerie: HAS ANYONE EVER BEEN CUTER THAN DEPUTY DIMPLES OVER HERE??

Valerie: Their first job: find the sexy werewolf. Nicole says they don’t know how sexy the werewolf is but Wynonna scoffs; all werewolves are sexy. Oz and Veruca from Buffy. Keelin on The Originals. Everyone on Teen Wolf. Sheriff Nicole Haught assesses her new deputy, teases her about the “war on top buttons” (a nod to one of the many fandom jokes Earpers have), and they head off to work. The special ends in a similar way to the Season 4 finale, but now on top of the signs that read, “Earp,” “and Haught,” “sometimes Holliday”, and “everyone welcome,” it now also says, “…but demons please knock.” A perfect reminder that this story isn’t over.

However, our recap is! Thank you so much for reading, I know it was a long one, but Nic and I are just so excited to have new Earp content to talk about that we couldn’t contain ourselves. (Thanks, Tubi!) And there are STILL so many little moments and lines we didn’t touch on, because one thing this show will do is cram so many quips and jokes and lines and love into every moment. We’re so pleased about how seamlessly Vengeance fit into the series; even though it was technically a different format, it really did just feel like a long episode of Earp, like no time had passed at all, and we love to see it. Please share all your thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams in the comments! Until we Earp again.

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