Queer Horoscopes for August 2024

This is actually a seismic month, astrology-wise. It’s Leo season, and Leo has pulled us out of Cancer’s emotional turmoil and into some energy that is somehow both cool kid and weird kid (Leo is Aquarius’ sister sign, after all). It’s also cool that the Olympics opening ceremony featured a reminiscence of the French Revolution…because the last time Pluto entered Aquarius, the French Revolution and the Haitian Revolution kicked off. The American revolution occurred just before. As things ever move forward, I hope we can remember we are always a part of history, that our choices do matter. Brat Summer might just be all about sharpening the blades of our guillotines. So, this August, don’t be surprised if you feel called to be a dry piece of hot, gay tinder ready to spark a revolution. What do tech people call it? Disruption?

Speaking of, did you experience or at least hear of the major tech outage caused by Crowdstrike and Microsoft? While Microsoft might have required certain oversight procedures should this update have happened internally, due to outsourcing (because why keep people in-house when you can outsource?), they did not have the same level of oversight that would have been historically merited. It’s more than an inevitable failure due to our reliance on technology; it’s also a failure set in motion due to big tech’s, and all of our, reliance on putting shareholders above service, above the kind of duty a tech company has to a world that relies on it for transport, for safety, for communications. Now, Mercury in Retrograde’s shadow period began July 16 and runs through August 4. The shadow period of Mercury’s retrograde can often be more volatile than its actual retrograde, which can, at times, be quite pleasant. Mercury, the planet associated with the Roman god Mercury and the Greek god Hermes, rules communications. If you imagine the fellow with wings on his sandals who used to carry news and messages from the human world to Mount Olympus (and sometimes the underworld) and back having a very rough go of it, then you’ve got a sense of Mercury retrograding and what it means.

But why so catastrophic a thing, when Mercury retrogrades so often? Well, Saturn went retrograde on June 29 and will continue to be retrograde until November 15. Neptune, also, is retrograde. It went retrograde on July 2 and won’t go direct until December 7. Saturn is Kronos, an old god, a Titan, ruler of time, of rules, structure…and of your actions having consequences. Neptune is Poseidon, ruler of water and the sea. When Neptune is retrograde, that which was concealed comes to the surface. When Saturn is retrograde, you can’t hide your bad (or good — hope you’ve been good) actions anymore. Mix all three of these together, and we have a catastrophic event that shows the hands held by the grifters, if anyone’s willing to look.

Hopefully you haven’t been engaged in any large-scale covering up of diminishing technical oversights in favor of cost-cutting and maximizing profit, but that doesn’t mean you’re off the hook. August’s astrology is likely to beat you up a little, no matter who you are, but if you can stay the course, the results you’ll get will be worth it. If you haven’t been good to people, if you’ve been deceptive at any point in 2023 or up until now, get ready to have to own it and to work on your accountability. But…knowing you, dear reader, and you’re not gonna like this, you’re most likely going to start facing the realities of how you haven’t been good to yourself. Saturn and Neptune are here to hold your self-sabotage up in front of you and say “Really, my good gay? This is what you want? You know, if you weren’t so afraid of good things happening to you, you wouldn’t have to suffer as much. The world is going to torture you enough – you don’t have to help it.” You’re not going to get through it all this month, but please do pay attention to the lessons that come up for you.

Mercury retrograde proper, however, is going to really ask us to get caught up. Neptune’s retrograde has us feeling nostalgic, and Saturn’s has us returning to old work and projects yet to be finished. August might have you wanting to text your ex, but this energy is best harnessed to finish that painting, to return to your NaNoWriMo novel from last year, to clean out that storage area or basement or attic you’ve said you’ll get to. Leave any kind of social FOMO in the dirt this month (unless you have a friend you’ve been meaning to return a letter to, for example), and concentrate on your unfinished business. It’s no coincidence that Mercury will still be retrograde as we move into Virgo season this month. Make your lists. Check them twice. Revel in crossing out your “done” items.

Finally, the full moon in Aquarius on August 19 contains a lot of illuminating contradictions. Full moons are about endings, and releases. This moon also squares Saturn, Aquarius’ staunch, modern ruler (older ruler being Uranus). Let go of the rules and the boundaries that are false. Balance your ego and your humanitarianism. There is a place for ego, and there is a place for others.


Aries

ARIES SYMBOL

Aries, I do not say this lightly. It’s no surprise you’re feeling a bit more, you, a bit more fiery, even a bit more aggressive this month. Your ruler, Mars, is in Gemini. Air fuels fire, and you’re feeling hot. Turning that energy inward on your uncompleted tasks will serve you best. Be especially careful of starting conflicts or saying things that you don’t mean or want to have come back to you when you’re letting your ire bubble up. Chiron (the healer) retrograding can also lead to wound opening. Be cautious. Besides that, you should actually start to feel energized. Take that zest and pep forward.


Taurus

TAURUS

Your ruler, Venus, is starting off the season in Leo. However, Mercury will also orbit back to Venus while in retrograde. You’ll want to chill out and seek your peace. You’ll be right, more often than not, but just being correct does not mean you have the tact to deliver your knowledge. Venus is squaring Uranus, Aquarius’ traditional ruler, and you’ll likely find yourself irked by the unconventional, odd, or spontaneous. It’s a great time for at-home activities. While Neptune asks you to unveil what’s been beneath the surface, there’s nothing wrong with also tending to your plants while you mull it over.


Gemini

GEMINI

Both Mars and Jupiter are in your sign, Gemini. This is going to be a hot, and downright spicy month for you. (Except for the full moon. Plan a potato day for August 19. You’re not going to get much done and there’s not a lot of point in trying and disappointing yourself.) Otherwise, you’ll have tons of energy to put into your until-now-delayed projects, and because Jupiter, planet of luck, is in your sign, you’ll be graced with a bit more luck than usual. Mercury, though retrograde, starts in Leo before moving into Virgo, following the shift of the seasons. Your sign ruler is Mercury, and though you might feel a bit less gifted with your usual extroversion and gab during this time, you’re going to definitely be able to talk yourself up and open your inner channels of communication, getting to know yourself a little bit better.


Cancer

CANCER

Last month was a little rough, huh? With watery Neptune retrograding and the full moon in Aquarius, you’re visioning the future like all get out. But things are going to be slowed by all the retrograde muck, so it’s very okay that things aren’t going to get started right now. Lean into pleasure, lean into rest, and lean into sensuality this season. You, Cancer, are being gifted a prime month for your hot gay summer antics.


Leo

LEO

Leo, you are being touched (and torched) by all the planets entering your sign. Also, happy birthday! If you have a Leo sun sign or Leo placements, now is the time to actually think about monetizing your side hustles or passions (sorry, sorry). You’ll likely get some clarity about where you could be earning money. The full moon in your sister sign, Aquarius, will ask you what you’re doing to help others, and it will also ask you how you could be thinking outside of the box when it comes to how you move forward, even materially. The communication difficulties might leave you feeling a little unmoored, but this is a time for introspection and visioning, so don’t be too worried if you’re not getting all the attention that normally comes with Leo season. You’re figuring things out so that you can receive even bigger rewards in the future.


Virgo

VIRGO

Happy birthday (or soon-to-be-birthday)! Mercury, your ruler, though retrograde, is moving from Leo to Virgo, where he is at least at home. Expect to feel a quiet sense of things being right when this happens. Mercury however, is retrograde, so this isn’t loud. It’s internal. Venus will also move into your sign, making everyone feel a bit more service-y, which should illuminate opportunities for love or self-love within you. The full moon is going to be rough for you. Not going to lie. That much Aquarius energy when you’re already dealing with chaos is going to be super unsettling. Stock up on your comfort snacks and items and plan for some incubation time on and around August 19. You’re perhaps tempted by the chaos to take on new work during this month, but really, you’ll feel much better if you finish some tasks that have been waiting. Pace yourself, Virgo — your season is just getting started.


Libra

LIBRA

Hello, Libra, ruled by Venus, one of the few planets not retrograde. Venus in Leo will ignite your sensual side. So while you need to be cautious around communications and consequences with Mercury and Saturn retrograde, feel free to date, or to schedule nice dates with your partner(s). Plan some summer-y movie nights or things that are low-key but sexy. Cook good food. Embrace the slowness that comes with Mercury in Retrograde. You’ve been working hard and you can slow down a little this month. It’s hot. Whip out your fan and perhaps. On the other hand, you can…just go wild in terms of generating a little bit of chaos and banking on your heightened sensuality. No one said you couldn’t have fun. Just be safe, friend!


Scorpio

SCORPIO

Pluto is retrograde, also, and moving into Aquarius, and it’s your sign ruler. This is a bit of an upset! You’ve had Pluto in Capricorn for what is likely most of your adult life. Now, things are changing, and Pluto will never return to where it was. Can you feel that? Capricorn is the sign of dealing with our darkest depths. It probably felt like lesson, after lesson, after lesson. Now, we’re moving into expansion. There’s a ton of turmoil this month between you and Leo and all that’s moving in the sky, so don’t be surprised if you feel more like chum in the water waiting for Jaws than the Summer Slasher Final ‘Girl’ that you are. The important thing is to extract some guidance for yourself from that chum that you can use in subsequent months, and to just kind of ride this one out. Have a popsicle. Journal. Try not to be a menace.


Sagittarius

SAGITTARIUS

Jupiter, your lucky ruler, is in Gemini — honestly, yay! You’re getting fueled up this season, which is nice after feeling like you’ve been dragging for so long. Mars passing through conjunction with Jupiter will make you a bit more electric, maybe a bit more than is for your own good — which is saying a lot for you. However, keep yourself reigned in, and you’ll find that channeling your energy and drive will lead you on some pretty important paths that will be important for months to come, perhaps your whole life. One thing you’re suited for, Sagittarius, is that you’re in a particularly good place to go deep with positive friendships this month, and to find out which ones aren’t particularly working for you. Our friendships are our longevity, our net, our life. My dad, when he was a carpenter at a mill making doors and such from fresh lumber, talked about a coworker, an immigrant from Greece who lived a half mile from the mill, but who took two hours to get to work each day. Why? He stopped and saw his friends on the way. He dedicated two hours of his morning to friendship, 25% of a workday. You won’t remember how you paid that electric bill, not really, but you’ll remember the times you laughed until you cried. During Mercury’s mandatory slowdown, don’t be afraid to spend lazy August days deepening friendships. Friendship also makes you lucky.


Capricorn

CAPRICORN

Hey, are you okay, buddy? Saturn is retrograde and Pluto is moving out of your sign. It’s like one punisher left but another swooped in to tell you to keep your back straight. That’s rough. However, Saturn also rewards hard work. So, if you’ve been working, striving hard for something, you’re going to start to feel a trickle of your reward finally coming in, maybe after years. It’s like a trickle in a chipped rock right now, just a taste. But as a Capricorn, you know there’s more underneath. Be patient and persistent – your specialty — and you’ll see your rewards come in. The full moon in Aquarius asks you, specifically, as a Capricorn, to push yourself forward from working hard, to working hard for others in general. We contain all of the Zodiac signs within each of us, though each of us are on a different part of the wheel, and we each have a role. Your role has been to look within yourself, to face the darkness, to understand the shadows and to work hard through it all. This was made especially hard because of Pluto being in your sign. You’ve been in the dirt, but I’m giving you a hug, and asking you to look at the stars. You can do it.


Aquarius

AQUARIUS

You are yet another spicy sign, activated by this month’s transits, dear Aquarius! First of all, you, uh, head-turner, Pluto has entered your sign. This will affect you for the next 20 years. Your life is, like all lives, a part of history. Don’t forget it. It’s beyond me to say more, but, there you go, rarest of signs.

Now, you have a full moon in your sign, so let’s work with that. It’s helpful to take note of what you focus on right before and on August 19. These are your clearest days. Otherwise, it’s muck and turmoil and uncertainty. But you’re brave. Stay grounded, rest a lot, don’t doubt that you are headed forward. Uncertainty and chaos now is just the result of the fact that you are being dealt such things, and are being asked to think of ways to solve these problems not just for yourself, but for everyone.


Pisces

PISCES

Pisces, sign of introspection and psychic knowing, you have Saturn retrograde and your ruler, Neptune, retrograde, as well. You were already in water, but now, the ocean is calling. It has secrets. What do you want to know?

You have a ton of duties and obligations coming due as Saturn squares off against Mars and Jupiter. They’re not fun. That’s okay, though. Take care of them and then do what is. Your life will feel divided in these summer months that so oppose your birth month, and that’s okay. You’ll work, then you’ll relax and introspect, then work some more – and the cycle will continue.

Venus opposes Saturn, and, for you, watery sweetheart, you need to allow yourself time to rest, to embrace sensuality and comfort. It’ll be okay, and it will be made more okay if you rest before you’re really needed.

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3 Comments

  1. Ive been reading this column for years so I noticed right away that the tone was totally different from Corina Dross‘s column. What happened to Corina? I know people move on from columns and jobs all the time but after such a long run I would have expected some acknowledgment of passing the torch.

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