Your Week is Almost Over: It’s Hey Did You See That Comment Friday!

HELLO? I have some news for you. Next week I am not going to be here. I am going to be in England. I would ask if anybody lives near Devon but I am actually really excited to not be around my computer or anything associated with the internet. Happy holigays in advance. I love you, my little babies.

This week Alex and Miss April went to a GLAAD event and made a video and they’re pretty and smart and stuff. If you want to meet Alex and see her dance then you should go to the PYT partay that is happening TONIGHT in LA. It is for the launch of the 2011 Autostraddle calendar which you should buy right now.

These are some lessons learned while celebrating Chanukah with your parents who for some reason just don’t accept you. It’s funny. Read it. Then pick your favourite albums from 2010! AND THEN read this interview with Courtney Trouble. Just do what I say, okay? Have I ever let you down before?

So this is the last we will officially see of each other for a little while. I will miss you and doing the awards at 2am Thursday night. Also someone has to keep terracottatoes in check. She’s getting so many comment awards her ego is exploding.

On Movie Review: ‘Room in Rome’ Features Lesbian Sex and a Bunch of Weirdo F*cked Up Shit:

The This Fucking Show Award to Middling:
Is it bad that I instantly thought that was “IFCFilms” for Ilene Fucking Chaiken Films? Autostraddle, you have brainwashed me.

On Case Against Lesbian Tuxedo-Wearing Ceara Sturgis is ‘She Wore a Bikini Once.’ Really.:

The Oh, Just Move Here Already Award to Isabel, alexamaria:

The Solution Award to Triple D:
That’s why I took my yearbook photo naked.

On NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday is Also Quick and Dirty:

The Self-Love Award to e, Jader, terracottatoes:

The Good to Know Award to Ailish:
I saw Taylor Momsen in a gay bar in Manchester last night. True story. She wasn’t masturbating at the time.

On Once More With Voting: We Hold Out Hope for DADT Repeal on Sunday Funday:

The Phoques/Fuck Award to persona, terracottatoes, moose:

On Being Trans Is So Hot Right Now, At Least for Celebrities and Models, Kinda:

The Laneia Would Probably Say Jeggins Can Be An Emotion Award to Zach:
As a trans person, I just have to say that sometimes I do in fact feel like jeggings, if jeggings could be an emotion.

On Come Party With Us At PYT Productions’ HOLIDAY STRADDLE, The 2011 Autostraddle Calendar Girls Release Party:

The Party in wasteunit’s Bedroom Award to wasteunit:
Why do all the sweet AS parties happen away from me? Can the next one be in my bedroom? Please? You won’t be disappointed.

The ClittyVaginaMcLabia Award to ClittyMclabia, allie, Jader, SomethingClever, terracottatoes:

On “Everybody Knows John Travolta is Gay”:

The WTF Do I Name This Award Award to Heather:
“Sometimes I feel like we unknowingly live in a bubble that might be imaginary where we make shit up and then circle-jerk our way into believing our own rumors.”
No, no that’s Fox News.

On Glee’s Darren Criss Conducts an Interview Entirely In Song:

The Please Stay Gay Award to pyrrhic:
Darren Criss, chipping away at Autostraddle’s target demographic one chord at a time.

On Movie Review: “Black Swan” Has Mad Chicks, Made Me Feel Crazy:

The Harry Fucking Potter Award to smartypants:
Katrina,
This is the single best film review I have ever read–truly insightful, descriptive, well-crafted, alluring and explanatory without being condescending. Brilliant job ! (50 points to Gryffindor)
And: psychosexual thriller–(and ain’t that the story of your life)=BEST

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Emily

Emily Choo started as an intern with Autostraddle when she was 18 years old. She's now 10 years older and lives in Toronto with her partner and cat. The defining moment of her career was when Riese said this about her: " I think Emily Choo is a very bright, 'poetically inclined' girl who pays attention to everything and knows almost everything (the point of stuff, how to read, how beautiful things feel, how scary things feel, etc.) but doesn't believe/accept/realize yet that she knows almost everything." She still doesn't believe she knows anything, so, thank you, Riese, for that.

Emily has written 100 articles for us.

155 Comments

    • i’m totally a ravenclaw.

      gryffindors are out slaying dragons. slytherins are out being douchebags. hufflepuffs are stupid.

      ravenclaws are totally the ones sneaking alcoholic butterbeer, spiking the pumpkin juice and eating the magic mushrooms of life, if you know what i mean.

    • pyrrhic, (aka that smart girl I’m crushin on)-

      I’m going to celebrate my Friday Comment Award over a delicous internet brunch, please join me.

      Aaaaaaaaand, perhaps I can interest you in some recreational internet flirting…?
      I promise to run the spell check.
      And say nice things-that may amuse you or potentially snort coffee out your nose. (both things may be possible is what I’m sayin’)

      Apparently, I’m incredibly nice, intermittently smart, regularly known to be charming….plays well with others…impress friends, charm families etc etc.

      (Insert here the following gesture: both hands in front pockets of jeans, shoulders slightly shrugged in that–whatdoyouthink??-kind of way… Add also, an incredibly sincere, warm smile that lights up my whole face, and I look directly into your eyes.)

      rest assured, not answering will be construed as–I’m Flattered but No Thank You…:-)

      (terracottatoes: is this gonna work?)

    • This took me a second because I could only think of the British pronunciation of Regina, which does rhyme with the word vagina.

      I’m not even British. I just like the song “Burning Airlines Give You So Much More” by Brian Eno.

      • That was sort of the joke – there’s a place in Canada also called Regina to rhyme with vagina, but of course flawless Regina George is always with us on Autostraddle so it kind of works. (I don’t know, it’s really early here, perhaps I’m not making 100% sense. Or perhaps I should try to make one joke at a time instead of two.)

  5. YOU GUYS I AM SO HAPPY. my face, it is smiling. it is smiling really big right now. I think it’s actually a fissure. Yeah wait it’s like turning into a crack. Uhm, how wide IS a mouth supposed to be? Oh shit. Uhm. My teeth are near my eyes, my chin is pressing into my chest, OH SHIT MY EGO IS EXPLODING OUT OF MY HEAD.

    -kaboom- You guys, I need some ego stain remover.

    No but seriously. This is the best website in the world. IN THE WORLD. Thank you Miss Choo, and enjoy England. <3

    • Terracottatoes, you are no longer invited to any of my BBQs. And I was going to have one this summer called “Bi-becue” where you can only eat food that represents body parts you want in and around your mouth. Menu to include: hot dogs, chicken breasts, tacos, meatballs, etc. That’s right, and you’re gonna miss it, terracottatoes, you egotistical bitch.

      JK! I luuuurve you!

      • Emily,I think you should give a comment award to Isabel and yourself–this just keeps getting funnier and funnier to me–on the other hand, maybe I just need some sleep.

  7. Enjoy England Emily.(hehe, eee.) Safe journeys all around and if you locate the TARDIS, please send it my way.

  8. Thanks Emily! I actually thought of that response and then sat on it (heh) for a day, unsure of it.

    Enjoy the West Country! Drink cider and then enjoy some Devon cream! Or you know…whatever her name is.

  9. And Another Thing:

    It’s kinda making me giggle…

    The juxtaposition of Isabel’s “damn it, hot dogs are good” and then Emily’s “yeah yeah, keep out of trouble”—anyone else?

    Or am I just giddy?

  10. This made my week, like legit. It was a welcome mental break from obsessing like crazy over my grad school applications, so thank you.

    • This will pale in comparison to the mental torment of graduate school…. oh terribly sorry. I don’t know what came over me. I mean good luck! :)

      • I know, and I’m applying to PhD. programs, so I’m in for at least 5 years of torment! Wooooooo! And yet I’m still applying, I don’t know what that says about me.

        • hahahaha, that’s really sweet that you think it’ll only take 5 years… I’m in my 4th year, looking at two more. What subject are you going for?

          • I don’t think it will only take five years, it’ll probably at least six or seven, but I know AT LEAST five. I’m going for history. What are you going for right now?

          • History! Awesome! You can be social sciences or humanities. So much versatility! I am doing Sociology. I have some grad school advice for you:

            1. If they don’t give you funding, don’t go. Especially for a subject like history (or sociology :). They don’t really want you and you will not be able to pay back the loans. You need to be paid for. Usually this happens through an offer of TAships and some sprinkling of fellowships.
            2. The last time you hold any power in your graduate career is before you accept anywhere. You need to exploit this for your gain in the following ways:
            a. If you get an awesome offer from some place you’re not that interested in it you can use it as leverage and go to the other place(s) and say “hey Uni of Awesome, I really feel like you’re the best fit, but gosh Badass University has given me this great deal and golly, I’d just hate to make a decision based on cost and learn later that Uni of Awesome could not only be the best fit from a scholarly perspective but also be just as economical”
            b. Do not give any university that has accepted you an answer until the very very very last minute. I waited until 2 days before even though I had been pretty much set on one Uni a week before and my program called and offered me a bunch more funding. If they are worried about having low numbers for their incoming classes or they really really want you then they will start throwing things your way like fellowships/extra funding. These are VERY important for your academic development and sanity. Trust me.

            I can’t think of anything else. Probably cause I got a little wasteface while watching a romcom with my mum. Ahh xmas with the fam. Hit me up if you have any questions a dirty sociologist could help answer: [email protected]

            Again: good luck!

          • Thank you so much! Sociology is awesome! What are you working on right now/plan to work on/want to work on,etc…?

            Money is pretty much concern number one for me, I know I’d never be able to pay back loans. Yeah, there’s no way, they don’t pay, I can’t go. Simple as that. But the advice on accepting an offer is stuff I’ve never heard before. Most of the stuff I get nowadays comes from http://100rsns.blogspot.com/, which may be starting to give me an ulcer. Well, regardless, better to have low expectations than high in this case, I suppose.

          • Ah yes, I’ve seen that website before. It is excellent. Definitely good preparation, especially since grad students love bitching. The extremely short version of what I’m interested in is the intersection of law, culture and social movements and by that I mean like oh I don’t know, the marriage equality movement….I know sooooo gay. I can’t help it. I’ve tried.

  11. You guys, we should just keep commenting because:
    1) we are hilarious obvs
    2) emily gets an email and obvs we are masters of filling (in)boxes

  12. shes too busy hanging out with the only 2 residents of england: Naomi and Emily (Fitch)

    —OR SOMETHING

  13. At the International Autostraddle Meetup/BBQ/Prom–whenever/wherever;
    I wanna sit between you two…until we are forced to separate for laughing too loud !

  14. holy shit you guys I leave for one afternoon and you all paint BBQ sauce all over everything. 90 comments?

          • you know, i am just going to take that like the MATURE and RESPONSIBLE person i am, in hopes that you recommend to laneia and riese that i write next week’s comment awards due to your transatlantic absence.

            ALL IN FAVOR SAY AYE!

          • You realize if you were charged with that task giving yourself a comment award would be in bad taste? Have you ever not gotten a comment award since began? Would you really want to break that streak?

          • She has a point.

            Also, it could be like “yeah, I’ve had an award every Friday–except the one week when Emily was slacking over in England and I was bestowed the honor….blahblah “

          • yeah. you cannot achieve sue-sylvester-trophy-collection award godliness.

            unless you are a total bitch.

            bitch. /pours bbq sauce in your lap.

            dont try to make this sensual. I KNO U GONNA

          • also is it creepy that all of us have literally tracked this page the entire day…until approx 130 am… gays are ~Creatures of the niiighttt~ /rhps reference

          • Terracottatoes, I…I…had no idea. I’m sorry I brought it up. You are still flawless in my eyes.

            Allie, creepy orrrr AWESOME?!

  16. I am officially nominating SomethingClever to be Captain of the Autostraddle Varsity BBQ Team. Can we all get matching shirts?

    • YES! I knew my meaty menagerie of puns would win you over. It’ll be 3/4 baseball Ts, obvs. I make a mean marinade and can happily attend a grill all day when provided a steady stream of beer.

      • i am officially the only lesbian who doesnt like beer. HOLLA!

        and i think at that point theyre called gayprons

        • no, you’re not! I actually can’t drink, though (it’s like lactose intolerance, but for alcohol!), so I’m not sure how much that counts. But I don’t like beer, so you are not alone. Probably.

      • APRONS !
        ZOMG YES !

        (and guess who I talked with tonight……? :-)

        And like I’m SO exhausted AND excited and quite impressed how we’ve dragged out this BBQ thing till 1:31am !!—-going to sleep now…..)

        love you guys!

        • lookit my grasshopper, getting in with the fiery lady! you go coco. you go! i’m so proud i might cry.

        • oh man thank god you called it. I gotta help the folks on the orchid farm bright and early tomorrow morning. Bed time it is. Ladies, it’s been real.

  20. I cant believe you’re going to Devon its where I used to go on holiday when I was a kid and therefore in my head its the happy magical land where dreams are made

  23. I went to sleep and woke up wearing nothing but an apron….upside down….BBQ sauce….wth happened last night?

    I so need a house elf.

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