Wynonna goes to see Amon in all her insult-flinging gunslinger glory (hole) but then she gets glitter bombed too and gets heart eyes for Amon. The spirit of Mrs. McMurray takes hold then and she starts licking things that ought not be licked, like the railing at a dive bar, while getting her flirt on.

“Well, I would have made out with you, but then you licked a handrail in a dive bar.”

Waverly goes to see Dimitri and like the absolutely adorable little angel she is, she hides under a scarf, afraid that he’ll fall in love upon laying eyes on her.

He laughs, saying he’s immune, and also if people are falling for her, she’s not doing it right. He chides her for…not washing her coat?? Which frankly is rude. You’re lucky she has a coat, man. If this was the dead of winter she’d be in a crop top with bare arms. She finds the vial in her coat pocket and he explains that when people are sprinkled with the stuff in the vial, the fall in love at first sight with the next person they see.

Waverly thinks this sounds like a glittery red flag when it comes to consent, but Dimitri just smiles at her and says that love comes in many forms and that sex is an optional part of the equation. Which is why Nicole didn’t ONLY want to hump Waverly’s leg, but also wanted to do literally anything Waverly wanted, including but not limited to having her dream wedding.

Waverly understands now that Dimitri is a cupid, hence the wing removal scars, and he doesn’t want the gig back. He’s perfectly happy to deliver food instead of love (which is a mood…food > love), and leaves Waverly to figure this out on her own.

“Zydrate comes in a little glass vial. A little glass vial? A little glass vial.”

Waverly tells Wynonna about the problem and Wynonna does a stellar job of pretending like she’s not suddenly and inexplicably in love with the man whose life she threatened not all that long ago. She does subtly do some prodding to make sure Waverly is still in love with Nicole and won’t accept Amon’s advances and convinces Waverly to leave the glitter vial home for now while they have the engagement party, claiming it will be a problem for future them, but really stealing it for herself so she can make Amon return her affections.

Wynonna has been acting so erratically lately Waverly can’t tell the difference between love drunk and bourbon drunk Wynonna.

So they stroll into Shorty’s, and I know I didn’t get hit with glitter but my brain still did the tunnel of light thing when I saw them.

Again dressed for two very different occasions but looking amazing nonetheless.

Nicole, Bunny, and Amon awkwardly vy for Waverly’s attention, and Wynonna tells Nedley to get Bunny drunk to chill her out. “Get her so sloshed she thinks she’s Jann Arden,” she says of the woman played by the legendary Jann Arden. :chef’s kiss: Perfect line.

But the problem is, Wynonna didn’t exactly tighten the cap to the glitter vial so before you know it Nedley is looking at Bunny like she’s a brand new hawaiin shirt.

And then: chaos descends. Wynonna is throwing herself at Amon, the Waverly Fan Club is fighting for the microphone to sing to her, Nedley is staring wistfully at the angel-obsessed Bunny. It’s a 7th grade dance up in this bitch.

As the chaos only increases, Waverly slips away and Rachel looks like she regrets agreeing to work in a bar and maybe will even stop asking the adults for alcohol every time they toast.

This is the face of a girl who has seen some shit..

But seeing that everyone is distracted, she steals Nedley’s keys and goes down to see Basement Billy. Well…not see. Since she’s not marked, she can’t see her ex-boyfriend, only see the moving shackles. They talk and Billy has enough human left in him to ask her to free him.

Meanwhile, Doc is on the Clanton Ranch when he gets a call from Waverly, who thinks he was immune to the glitter because she hasn’t seen how he has been looking at Cleo.

“Yes I’m CALLING you. On the phone. That’s how dire this situation is.”

Doc understands that what Waverly said means his feelings probably aren’t real, but she’s finally smiling and thanking him for treating her so decently and he doesn’t have the heart to tell her. Besides, he probably would have been almost as gentle and kind with her anyway. He calls Cleo a survivor and tells her to make her own legacy, and she looks inspired by possibility. I always knew that girl was one good pep talk away from being on our side.

Though she does let slip that Nicole promised Mam she’d turn Doc in if Mam saved Waverly, and while Doc says he understands why she would have made such a deal, this is the first he’s heard of Nicole’s involvement so it’ll be interesting to see how he reacts once he’s not love drunk.

As he leaves, Cleo eyes a chainsaw like it’s HER 90s manic pixie dream girl.

Desperate to get her friends back to normal, Waverly orders food to get Dimitri to come to Shorty’s. He asks her where the glitter is and they soon realize it’s not at the Homestead where she thought she left it, but being strewn through the air like confetti by a desperate, drunk, and clumsy Wynonna. Suddenly love is in the air, quite literally, and the mood in the room shifts from a disaster prom to a hippie den, with everyone really feeling the love.

“It’s a pretty good bad idea, me and you.”

Everyone partners off and sways together in a stupor. Nicole is curious about Wynonna’s top shelf ass, but Wynonna won’t cross that line because her sisterly bond is stronger than this love drug, but she does love Nicole more than whiskey. Doc won’t even dance with Nicole because his love for her is too sisterly for the spell to work. (Or because he knows she’s a lesbian and doesn’t want to set himself up for failure, who knows. Either way it’s hilarious/great.) Wynonna and Doc click like magnets when they get too close, the line between where the spell ends and their real feelings begin blurrier than Wynonna’s vision after her second bottle or bourbon.

Dimitri thinks this is all just the spell, blames it on the glitter and booze, but Waverly says he’s too cynical. But searching his face, Waverly sees it’s more than that. She then asks, “What was their name?”

“Their.” It’s one word. A relatively small word. A very common word. But it’s so huge. On so many shows, because the writers assume all their characters are straight, they have their characters assume it about each other, too. Some shows might have even skirted around it by saying, “Who was it?” But this show took it that one extra step to model inclusive language. “What was their name?” It’s so simple, you’d think every show would do it. But the thing is, they don’t. So I appreciate it.

And also the name in question? Amon. After two years together, Amon kicked Dimitri out. Therefore love is a lie. Waverly looks at him with compassion. She then has to ruin my and Dimitri’s Love is a Lie campaign by being all logical and sweet. Heartbreak is proof love exists. Sometimes love is buried under hurt and pride. Sometimes love doesn’t last forever. But that doesn’t make it any less real.

Ugh did Waverly Earp just make me believe in love? I don’t want to talk about it.

Waverly wins Dimitri over and together they make spitballs to cure everyone of their love spell. Dimitri saves us all from drowning in our feelings by reminding us about the ridiculousness of the situation when he tells Waverly to aim for the butt, because that’s where love lives.

One by one, everyone snaps out of their make peace not war daze. Wynonna still doesn’t want the moment to end but Doc decidedly does. Nicole beelines for Waverly, burying her embarrassed head in her betrothed’s chest and is relieved she didn’t ruin everything.

Me apologizing to my friends every time we get off Zoom because I have forgotten how to people.

Waverly thinks that the least Nicole can do is compromise for a medium-fuss wedding and Nicole heartily agrees. Dimitri can’t help but smile and relent that the reason he chose Waverly for this gig is because he hasn’t seen anyone this in love in a long, long time. Queer love saves the day again.

Drunk Bunny is not in love with Waverly anymore, but is being way less homophobic than usual. Whether it’s because her own underlying sapphic urges were unlocked, or it’s because what they say is true and all it takes is loving someone queer to open your heart is anyone’s guess. Bunny says bye bye to the lesbians, and Nicole clarifies that Waverly is bisexual and Bunny says, “Just say horny.” Ye Olde Loblaw is still in there somewhere.

Wynonna is heartbroken and probably still drunk so she goes to the Glory Hole to try to get Amon to sleep with her but the normal way this time. She wants someone who won’t make her feel guilty for who she is and what she has to do.

There’s a Doc:Amon::Angel:Spike metaphor in here somewhere.

Back on the Clanton Ranch, Cleo takes Doc’s advice and takes her destiny by the horns. She knows Mam would have wanted to become a reaper but decides to feed her to the reapers instead. And then Basement Billy comes home and she’s delighted to not be alone anymore. “Time to take back what’s ours.”

“What does one wear that’s apropos for a party that’s also a crime?”

This episode was so fun and smart and it took care to not make mistakes that other shows could/would have. They might sound like small things, but when I first realized what was happening I braced myself out of habit before remembering that Wynonna Earp likes to rip my heart out and stomp on it but it doesn’t like to insult me and make me feel icky. For example, another show would have taken this opportunity to have Nicole be all googly eyed over Doc Holliday, to try to get the “lol look a lesbian loves a man!” laugh, not realizing how hurtful that could be. And most other shows either wouldn’t have even considered or would have tiptoed around the issue of consent, but this show talked about it plainly. It’s seemingly small moments like these that are so impactful in how not harmful they are, and while people who don’t analyze TV for a living might not even noticed how rare and special those moments were (Which is also great! How seamlessly they were worked in!) I noticed, and I am grateful.

Next week, Happy Earpin’ Halloween!

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