Women’s Magazine Profile of a Normal Girl

Brittani’s Team Pick

Parks and Recreation writer Aisha Muharrar profiles a fictional girl in her hilarious version of a women’s magazine interview. Muharrar is part of the “going barefoot but still hunching your shoulders movement” that from all indications has no traction and is something I just made up based on a tweet. Regardless, the humor piece shines as it subtly mocks the magazines she probably subscribes to because how can you turn down the option to renew when it’s 67% off the cover price, ya know?

When she first moved to this city, she lived in a small two-bedroom apartment that she shared with the cousin of a college friend. Now, five years later, her living arrangements remain the same. Could this really be the same girl who once made a plate of nachos to bring to a Super Bowl party, then stayed home and ate them all by herself while watching a Lizzie McGuire marathon? She nods, remembering those nachos. “I still can’t believe my life. I mean, I really thought I’d be using my graduate degree.”

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Brittani

Brittani Nichols is a Los Angeles based comedy person. When she's not tweeting about white people or watching television, she's probably eating pizza. Actually, she's probably doing all three of those things concurrently and when she's not doing THAT, she's sleeping. Brittani also went to Yale and feels weird about mentioning it but wants you to know.

Brittani has written 328 articles for us.

17 Comments

  1. She nods, remembering those nachos. “I still can’t believe my life. I mean, I really thought I’d be using my graduate degree.”

    This is going to be me in 5 years.

        • I once asked a University of Chicago graduate student why they are in graduate school. Her response “I was brain washed into coming here.” Then I asked if she liked Grad school and she said “not really…”
          BEST MOTIVATION EVER!

  6. ‘She takes a deep breath, mutters, “To the left, to the left,” then gives her full attention back to me. Then she cries a little more.’

    i don’t think i can breathe anymore

  7. I read this a while back when the article was published. Hil-a-rious. And also a bit depressing. Le sigh.

  9. I cut my bangs just for that reason!

    I really feel like that chick right now while i’m stuck home doing nothing but eating oreo cookies and watching millionaire!

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