My third novel, Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One, is about a lesbian birthday party clown. If Florida is always the butt of the joke, then so is this protagonist. And if there is one thing I know about a clown, it’s that they desperately need an audience.

Months ahead of publication, my publisher offered to set up some book store visits around the state. We’d travel to six different locations, all within driving distance from my home in Orlando. It seemed like a nice way to start conversation for this particular book. I am always writing about Florida, but this book is specifically about Orlando. What better way to promote it than to drop it directly in the hands of the people I most want to love it?

I wanted to make the trip about more than just getting the book in booksellers’ hands though. I wanted to hear from these booksellers about what they love about their special corner of the sunshine state. There are so many things to love about living here. So much to see, so much to do! Never the same sunset twice. People have a lot to say about our home, but one thing I can tell with assurance is that it’s never boring.

And as Florida now leads the nation in book bans, putting together a little Florida road trip travel guide oriented around independent bookstores feels meaningful. There’s more to this place than theme parks and beaches. Adding a Florida bookstore road trip to your next vacation in the sunshine state will let you see parts of this place in a deeper way. And if you’re already a local like me, then these little trips make a great weekend activity. My wife Kayla and I already decided we’re going to repeat some of these drives in the near future to explore even more spots along the way.

Across three days, we visited six independent bookstores in five different cities in Florida (mainly in Central Florida, but we hit as far north as Jacksonville, too!). And this is just a small sampling of the bookstores in Florida who are championing challenged and banned books and creating queer community through LGBTQ-focused programming.

In the trunk of my car: a big box of books and a plastic bag filled with bright red clown noses. Let’s hit the road!

---

Thursday

We start early, swilling massive cups of coffee and blinking the sleep from our eyes. It’s December, and the weather is clear and cold in Central Florida, cooler than it’s been for months.

Fern & Fable, Ormond Beach

It takes about an hour to reach our first stop in Ormond Beach. Fern & Fable is a gorgeous bookstore situated right in the heart of historic downtown, directly adjacent to the bridge that takes you over to the coast and the beachier tourist stuff. We park across the street near a public park that looks over the water and happen to find a local who was an early fan of the book.

Rayna, the owner of Fern & Fable, is incredibly warm and welcoming. Rayna and I met once before at the opening of another favorite Florida bookshop, The Lynx. In true small-town Florida fashion, it turns out she grew up very close friends with my best friend, Maria. Everyone really does know each other here!

Rayna shows us around the store, which just opened its current brick and mortar location last year. There’s a ton of local authors featured, which is always a genuine treat to see on the shelves.

It hasn’t all been easy for Rayna though. She shares with me that local Moms for Liberty members were harassing the shop in local Facebook groups and even on the Fern & Fable business page, saying awful things, including accusing the booksellers of “peddling pornography to children” and saying they should be arrested. “The attacks have been most intense around Pride month, Banned Book week, and during election season, unsurprisingly,” Rayna says. “A lot of the hate focuses on our little free banned book library. We work the community to provide the titles that are removed from our schools for free out front of the shop. As a mom of three kids in our public school system, fighting against censorship and creating a safe space with access to books has been a founding principle and inspiration for opening Fern & Fable.”

This sentiment would echo across all the bookstores we visited over the weekend, all of them championing banned and challenged books and titles from LGBTQ authors.

When we ask Rayna for some recommendations for things to do in downtown Ormand, she is quick to point out that two of her neighbors on the strip are some of her favorite places to shop! Uncommon Grain, a bakery and café, produces all homemade bread. Gold Leaf Coffee does their own local roasting, and Rayna tells me the owners aren’t only neighbors when it comes to business — they actually live next door to each other, too! We stop by Gold Leaf on our way out to the car and get delicious peppermint mochas.

While in Ormond, you can also of course visit the beach! If you’re ever visiting Daytona, Ormond is just up the road, so definitely consider a pop over to visit Fern & Fable and other downtown spots for a cozy and (less crowded than Daytona) day. While in Ormond, you’re also only half an hour from The Garlic in New Smyrna, a favorite restaurant of my wife and mine in the area. They don’t take reservations, but it’s well worth the wait, which you can spend in their front garden area enjoying some of their sangria.

On our way out of town, Kayla notices a sign referring to Ormond as “the birthplace of speed.” We look up what this cryptic declaration means, and apparently early adopters of motorized cars loved zipping around Ormond’s hard-packed beaches because paved roads weren’t yet common. We’re talking like 1903!

It’s still very pretty out and cooler than usual, so we open the sunroof and leave the birthplace of speed, taking the scenic backroads out to Gainesville. Along the way, we pass a diner claiming to be the oldest in all of Florida, so naturally we must investigate. Angel’s Dining Car in Palatka, Florida is indeed the longest continuously running diner in the state, opening in 1932. We don’t have time to stop this time, but we’ll be back! It’s about an hour from Gainesville, an hour from Jacksonville, and two hours from Orlando, if you’re interested in making a special Florida diner road trip.

The Lynx, Gainesville

The author Lauren Groff owns The Lynx, which officially opened for business last year. They promote a slew of banned books and really champion Florida authors. Small businesses aren’t subjected to the same strict regulations and rules that book bans create for schools and libraries, so opening a bookstore is one way to get challenged books into the community. The books removed from library and school shelves could be displayed proudly, front and center, in a bookstore designed to nurture community and connection.

Lauren has said herself that the bookstore would “probably still be a pipe dream if the book bans hadn’t happened.” The Lynx was born directly from these conflicts of suppression and censorship down here. At a recent event in Orlando where we saw Lauren speak, she jokingly declared she’d like to see DeSantis come and arrest her for the books she’s selling in her store. That’s the true Florida spirit.

The Lynx very kindly agreed to sell signed preorders for Stop Me If You’ve Heard This One, so I’m especially excited to see everyone.

I’m also excited to try out drawing some real professional clowns while personalizing their copies.

A couple of the booksellers very nicely offer to take us out to lunch at one of their favorite local spots. We have a great time and meal at Afternoon (I get the BLT, and Kayla gets the chicken salad sandwich), which also has amazing coffee. When I ask about some of their other favorite spots around town, the booksellers immediately mention Humble (a wood fired pizza place) and Bingo (a delicious neighborhood restaurant where we’ve enjoyed dinner with Lauren and her husband and co-owner Clay). Both are conveniently located in the same plaza as The Lynx, so you can easily spend a whole day by the bookstore (which also has a coffee bar, wine, and beer by the way!).

A dive bar (always my go-to) many people frequent is Loosey’s, a spot that hosts a ton of punk shows. People also love The Top, which has great vegan and vegetarian options. Gainesville is also located right next to one of my favorite natural spots in the world: Paynes Prairie, which I featured in my debut novel, Mostly Dead Things. It’s a state park where you can do all sorts of outdoor activities and see a lot of Florida’s wildlife.

It’s still gorgeous out, cool and sunny when we leave our friends at The Lynx. It’s our third (and last) leg of the day, and we’re heading North East up to Jacksonville.

Femme Fire Books, Jacksonville

When we finally roll into downtown Jacksonville, the sun has begun to set, and the temperature has cooled considerably. We park and then hustle down the street — several blocks, in fact, I am notorious for parking in spots that are too far away because I’m worried I won’t find one that’s closer and be forced to circle around again — and I’ve left my coat in the trunk of the car. My teeth are chattering, and my wife is freezing. I’ve got a fistful of galleys and clown noses, and the wind is buffeting us so briskly that our noses feel like ice cubes.

When we reach the shop, however, we receive a warm and cheery welcome, everything glowing in the golden hour light. Femme Fire Books is a tiny, incredibly cozy shop. It’s located behind a pair of antique shops, far back from the sidewalk in an adorable space. They have a well curated collection that includes plenty of queer titles, and they focus on books from marginalized voices, especially women of color.

I show them the galleys and clown noses, and they’re immediately game to take some pictures.

Afterward, we have a few happy hour snacks at Josephine, located nearby. Kayla and I have been here before, so we’re thrilled to return. It has a beautiful bar and a good wine list. We don’t have time for a full dinner tonight, but if we did, we’d be heading to Orsay, an incredible French bistro where we like the oysters, tomato tartare, steak, and cocktails. They also have great mocktails.

Happy hour at Josephine is a nice way to end our very long day, and an even nicer thing is that my wife decides to be the designated driver so I can play Passenger Prince for the drive home. Thank you, Kayla!

Friday

We’re only doing one bookstore today, so we got to spend our morning with our pets, Lola the dog and Timmy Tomato the cat. The day is gloomy; cold, but also rainy. No sunshine in sight. Not a great development for our intended book & beach day, but we’re moving forward!

We leave while it’s still sprinkling and head to Cocoa Beach, which is about an hour’s drive away from our house in Orlando. It’s the beach I grew up frequenting during my teenage years, so I have a real soft spot in my heart for it.

We decide to head to the actual beach first. We pick up some to-go drinks at Coconuts on the Beach — one of our favorite beachfront bars — and head down to the shore, where it’s cloudy but still chock full of wildlife.

After watching the waves crash against the shore for a bit, we get back in the car and head back over the bridge to Cocoa Village, which is in Brevard. It’s quaint with real small-town vibes, full of local-owned businesses and handmade Christmas decorations, sort of like a beachy version of Stars Hollow. We sneak in a quick happy hour at Rebellion Wine Bar, a natural wine bar that has great charcuterie board options, including my wife’s favorite cheese Humboldt Fog.

Hello Again Books, Cocoa Village

The bookstore, Hello Again, is located in the heart of downtown. It’s queer-owned, and its shelves hold new and used books that feature an incredible amount of LGBTQ titles.

The store is bustling. It’s the holidays, which means brisk business in general, but it also happens to be the Hot Cocoa Crawl, a scavenger hunt around town featuring cocoa-themed goodies at each stop. People holding cocoa tins search along the bookshelves for prizes, and it’s sincerely adorable.

Even though they’re very busy, the booksellers take the time to talk with me about my upcoming novel.

They also tell us about weekly events they feature at their store, including game nights, book clubs, knit and stitch groups, and “school night,” which is specifically for homeschool kids and their families. A lot of their programming is specifically queer. And in June 2025, Hello Again will have its fifth annual Be the Rainbow event, which includes a bunch of activities celebrating LGBTQ community and allies. There aren’t a ton of explicitly designated queer spots in this part of town, so this programming is vital.

A bar right down the street called The Village Idiot sponsors their pride night, so we pop over for a drink before heading out for the night. The air is breezy and full of salt, and people are having a very festive time among all the Christmas decorations. In addition to bars, restaurants, and bookstores, there are a lot of thrift and antique shops in the area.

We run into another reader on our way back to the car:

It’s Friday the 13th, and we get home with enough time to do our Friday the 13th tradition, which is to watch Friday the 13th. Friday the 13th is a gay movie, that’s what I always say. And my wife does, too.

Saturday

It’s time to visit our final two bookstores of our big gay Florida bookstore tour, but luckily they’re located in the same city! St. Petersburg is one of our favorite places in Florida. We head there probably every other month for book events and to visit friends. It’s an incredibly queer town.

The traffic was terrible — I4 is a nightmare; IYKYK — but our spirits were still high as we rolled into town.

Book + Bottle, St. Petersburg

Our first stop of the day was at Book + Bottle, which is a bookstore and wine bar and wine shop, which are three of my very favorite things. The drinks are great, and so are the people. In addition to their coffee drink menu, they offer really great wines by the bottle and by the glass. They also do specially curated and themed wine flights, so you can try a few different things. And the book selection is just as thoughtfully done as the wine list.

The Book + Bottle booksellers are truly incredibly sweet! They always make me feel like royalty.

We run into some friends and decide to hang out for a bit since we’re having such a good time. We wind up buying a couple of books, too, because we can never resist picking up new reads here.

If we were here longer, we’d probably have lunch at Fresco’s Waterfront Bistro, which is on the water downtown and one of our usual stops when we’re in town. As far as touristy places go, the food and vibe is great! We also usually hit CellarMasters Wine Bar and Bottle Shop with our local friends. They don’t have a wine list at all; you just tell the bartenders what you like, and they come up with something. They nail it every time.

Tombolo Books, St. Petersburg

Our last stop of the day (and the tour) is with queer-owned Tombolo Books, which is one of my very favorite bookstores in Florida. It’s located in the historic Kenwood neighborhood, which is where we like to stay when we’re in town. For my last novel With Teeth, Tombolo not only hosted a giant reading, they also got one of my favorite breweries in Florida (Cigar City) to sponsor the event. The store even made Dad-themed koozies for my beer!

This afternoon, the booksellers are prepping for their five-year anniversary party, where we’ll be closing out the tour. They very nicely take time out from running around decorating to take some pics with me.

While we wait for the party to begin, we bop around our favorite St. Pete neighborhood, which is so, so gay, like we’re talking rainbow crosswalks gay. We hit The Dog Bar, which is exactly what it sounds like: a bar with dogs. The space is mostly an outdoor enclosed dog park where dogs of all types can run around and their humans can drink. Even though our dog is a little too old to enjoy Dog Bar these days, we still come every time we’re in town. You don’t have to have a dog to get in! Also, we always see other lesbians here.

All along Central Street in this part of St. Pete, there are lots of queer and queer-friendly locations, including a bar called Cocktail, which is connected to a gay pool bar and day club called The Wet Spot.

We have dinner down Central at a tinned fish place that is one of my wife’s favorite spots. It’s called Barbouni, and it’s connected to a Greek restaurant called Baba. We also like Lost & Found for cocktails —it’s the kind of place where you sort of feel like you’re drinking in someone’s basement in the 1970s (complimentary), and there’s also a backyard. We’ve also had good drinks and food at neighborhood restaurant Wild Child and like to hit Trophy Fish for casual fresh seafood and a very good gin and tonic. All of these places are walking distance from Tombolo.

Afterward, full and happy, we walk back to the store and enjoy the celebration, which includes a night market in their courtyard with a bar, food, and arts and goods. Black Crow Coffee next door, where we usually go for pastries and flavored lattes every morning when we’re in town (try the Purple Haze), has a hot cocoa bar set up, so we try a spicy version, and it rules.

It’s the nicest way to end this three-day driving extravaganza: celebrating five years of something special living wild and free in Florida. Partners and co-owners Alsace Walentine and Candice Anderson opened in December 2019 and have weathered the pandemic and many literal storms. It’s not easy to keep an indie bookstore open in Florida, especially one so committed to queer and otherwise marginalized authors, and five years is truly something to celebrate. (Book + Bottle will also celebrate five years this spring, one day before my novel comes out!)

---

To live here is to be continuously inundated by its physical presence.

The heat is overwhelming, and so is the humidity —even in the winter. There are alligators. Predators and prey. We’ve got all manner of birds, raccoons and possums, fish and biting insects. Snakes. Lizards scurrying underfoot. The stench of an algae-laden lake boiling like soup under the glare of a midday sun. Strip malls and used car lots and fields dotted with large, placid cows. Plywood signs posted along the side of the highway announcing that someone, somewhere, is selling strawberries, fresh eggs, bags of boiled peanuts. Gun ranges. Theme parks. Fruit wines. Outlet malls. Suburban neighborhoods full of cookie cutter houses and gleaming Range Rovers. We saw it all on this trip, over and over, all mixed up together.

But I’ve said all this before. I’ve written about it plenty.

And a new book should understand that. Take the known entity and introduce a complication. If I write about Florida, then I have to be willing to give up everything I think I already know about it. I want to see it through the eyes of love, but also through a lens of freshness. Eschewing nostalgia for the more exciting prospect of what home could become if given the opportunity to grow. Opening my heart to the many different ways other people have learned to embrace this place.

I’ll keep writing about it. Hopefully it will be something good and funny.