Back at the house, Jules wants to know how Ali got out of her bat mitzvah. Ali says: I didn’t think I could memorize it all, so I said I didn’t believe in God so they canceled it. Baby Ali is kind of a badass. Jules tells her that she “never understood how kids get up in front of all those people and sing,” and Ali starts softly singing the torah portion to herself on the couch. Then she gets louder and more animated, and finishes singing on top of the coffee table. Bravo! Maybe she can be on that show I saw once on cable and then never again called “Sing Your Face Off” which had John Lovitz on it and also, I think, an NFL player.
This is how I’m going to headbang the patriarchy to death
It’s a little odd but (I think?) sweet that Jules is hanging out here letting Ali talk about this stuff, because no one else is paying attention to her. I feel a little bit put off by why this grown person wants to hang out with this young girl, but hopefully that’s just Rita (and the fact that the camera keeps doing a slow pan up Ali’s body the same way they do for adult women that we’re supposed to find sexy? It’s really uncomfortable) skewing my perspective and Jules is a top-notch human.
Yes, I have seen Party Down. No, I definitely don’t get tired of being asked that.
Meanwhile, Sarah is on a bus, headed to? from? a protest. The boy sitting next to her is falling asleep on her shoulder, either because he’s sleepy or as a misguided ploy to meet cute; either way, Sarah is not into it. I was going to say how annoying this is before checking my privilege and remembering that there’s like an 80% chance I fell asleep on at least one person at some point during the year that I spent commuting on the D train to Riverside. If you are a person I did that to, I apologize profusely.
Oh come on, bro. Bro? Does anyone speak bro, my bro is very limited and this is an emergency
Sarah is in luck, though, because an INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE HUMAN sees her plight, laughs, and rescues her. This person is Cindy, played by Victoria Ortiz. I am already the president of the International Cindy Fan Club, I’ve made foam fingers and everything, and really wish that there were an arc with her, but IMDB suggests to me that this is the only episode she appears in, which means she’s probably just here to confirm that Sarah is bisexual and has been interested in women in her life besides Tammy (although of course number of partners of different genders doesn’t determine whether you’re a “real bisexual” or not, and so on, and so forth). Miss you already, Cindy.
“Did you read Autostraddle’s accessible explanation of Judith Butler’s work?” “No but maybe you could explain it to me in great detail in your bed.”
Elsewhere, also in a moving vehicle, we have another slow pan that makes me feel uncomfortable when the camera starts zoomed in on Rita’s crotch in a short skirt and then moving up to her face, and then Josh’s face as he stares at her like she’s made of candy. Their fingers touch across the car seat, and I squirm uncomfortably.
Hello this is the worst, this thing that’s happening right now, it’s terrible, jsyk
Ali has convinced Jules to drop her off at the beach as she leaves in her catering van. How is she getting home? They don’t have cell phones, do they? After frolicking like the child that she is for a bit, Ali discovers a dude with a pickup truck. Watch out! I know Taylor Swift doesn’t exist for you yet, Ali, but she is gonna have a lot of cautionary words about this situation in about 20 years! This dude is flying a radio-controlled plane in the air, and Ali wants a turn to fly it.
I’m like a biiiIIIiiird, I’m gonna fly awaaAAaay
This dude isn’t having it, because it costs “like three hundred bucks.” She says “you’re too old to play with toys,” and he says “oh, and you’re not?” She tells him she’s seventeen. DANGER WILL ROBINSON. (For those of you playing along from home, if Ali’s bat mitzvah was supposed to be this week, she is thirteen.) He offers her a beer and I die inside. The only part of this scene I felt good about was when Ali said “I love beer” in the exact same tone I use to say things like “A bacon-themed sports bar replaying Game 6 of the 1986 World Series? I’d love to.”
Yes, this is very fun and good, yessiree
At Camp Camellia, Maura, Marcy and Connie have all had a few drinks. Connie is casually telling the others about how she had “a nervous breakdown” when her husband came out to her as a crossdresser.
“I was in my nightgown, and I was on the front lawn, and I was screaming… like something out of a movie!”
Now Maura and Connie are going to dance and tell each other how pretty they are. You can’t see Marcy but I 100% sure she is pouting.
Do you like them? They’re Warby Parker
Back on the beach, Ali and the plane dude (whom I believe is named Patrick and is played by James Frecheville are walking into a sort of hidden underpass area. THIS IS DEFINITELY A GOOD SIGN, I FEEL GREAT ABOUT THIS.
Ah yes, the Cloister of Safety, Boundaries and Respect
Connie and Maura are dancing. Is this a tango? What do tangos look like? Marcy is finishing their drinks for them. Ali and Patrick are… play-fighting? I hope it’s playing. Patrick grabs onto Ali’s sleeve, and she spins around and sort of smiles mischieviously. At camp, the tangoing is getting very intense. Ali and Patrick seem to be struggling on the ground, maybe? At camp, some of the tension in the room falls flat when Marcy stands up to complain about the fact that Maura and Connie should get a room, and how she’s afraid that no one will go to the pageant with her. Ali and Patrick are chasing each other around in the sand like children (because one of them is AN ACTUAL CHILD) and Ali is pinning Patrick to the ground, sitting with her legs on either side of his chest. Marcy changes clothes for the pageant, watching Maura and Connie with irritation? jealousy? confusion? all three? It’s basically impossible to communicate what it’s like to watch these things juxtaposed by using screencaps, so just close your eyes and imagine.
At the beach, Ali is laying in the sand while Patrick walks around her, sort of lightly kicking sand at her. It’s not clear what happened — did he push her off him, or did she just get tired and lay down? We anxiously ponder these issues as the camera pans right — TO CURRENT-DAY GROWN UP ALI, sitting in the sand beneath the same overpass thing. What the actual heck? Connie and Maura comment on how needy Marcy is while past-Ali watches past-Patrick walk over to current-day-Ali and try to kiss her, until past-Ali pulls him away. What even? Is the series finale of Transparent gonna be Ali’s alarm clock going off and we find out the entire thing was a dream?
There will always be someone on the outside, wanting to get in. Who am I now? That’s one secret I’ll never tell. XO XO Gossip Girl
Connie and Marcy are bickering while Marcy gets ready for the pageant, and Maura and Connie share secret smiles. Maura tells Marcy to just go on ahead to the pageant, and Connie will help Maura pick out a dress. Marcy gives Maura the universal “are you about to sleep with her or what” look, and Maura gives her a “whatever don’t worry about it” in response. Alone, Maura and Connie dance and Connie says that she thinks Marcy’s in love with Maura.
What do you mean? Everyone likes Enya.
They drink more, and sway, and dance, and kiss kind of chastely, and Connie drunkenly babbles “We’re all just a bunch of bodies. That’s it! Just bodies. And some of us have a penis.” Maura responds “No penis. No vagina.” And Connie sits on the couch while Maura twirls around the room.
Elsewhere, Ali lies in the bed of a truck while Patrick drives it down the highway. She yells “Faster! Faster!” and screams.
HEY DID YOU SEE THE EPISODE OF CRIMINAL MINDS THAT STARTS LIKE THIS
YUP
At Camp Camellia, camp is officially ending. Marcy says her goodbyes while Maura packs the trunk of the car. Marcy tells her she needs to change back into her dude clothes, but Maura says she doesn’t want to.
There can’t not be a single Starbucks the entire ride home, that’s like impossible.
Maura: I wanna drive like this.
Marcy: Are you kidding?
Maura: I’ll change, okay? I’ll change my clothes before we get to Ventura.
Marcy: That’s ridiculous. That’s not safe.
Maura: No, no one gives a shit.
Marcy: I give a shit!
Maura: Hey Mark? It makes me happy. I wanna be happy for two more hours. Put your bags in. For God’s sake, what’s wrong with you?
I invite speculation in the comments about the root of what’s going on with Marcy and Maura here. Does Marcy actually have feelings for Maura? Is Marcy starting to realize that Maura is a trans woman, and wants to discourage her? Is Marcy starting to realize that Maura is a trans woman and is resentful of Maura because Marcy might feel like a trans woman, too? Is she just having a rough time? All of the above?
Once they’re in the car, they call each other cunts for a minute, but in an affectionate way, and drive off. In all honesty this is not a terrible way to resolve conflict, and I am taking note of it for the future.
Ali is waking up, and she’s still in the back of the truck. Some men are walking past her, probably the laborers that Sarah is ostensibly protesting on behalf of. Patrick is peeing into their fields, which is probably a metaphor for something.
Ali: Hey. Did we sleep here all night?
Patrick: Yup.
Ali: Why didn’t you try anything?
Patrick: I don’t think you’re seventeen.
Ali tells him that’s true, that she’s sixteen. Just kidding, fifteen. No actually fourteen. Well really she’s thirteen. (This is not me getting cute, this is the actual dialogue.) She closes her eyes and leans towards him like she’s going in for a kiss, except her mouth is wide open, like she’s about to swallow him alive. And the camera disappears into her mouth, and that’s the last thing we see before the credits.
All men must die
BUT WE ARE NOT MEN
Join us next time, when we get in a Delorean and go back to the future to see which short-sleeved button-down Josh is wearing this week.
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Everything about this was weird and scary and hard, thank you for ‘capping it so I don’t get blindsided when I get around to stealing my roomate’s prime password
Watching this episode was so so stressful but it was so good and I was just like what’s happening?!?!
Anyway, glad Maura likes Childish Gambino.
This might just be me being bitter from real life experiences, but I thought all the stuff at camp with Maura and Marcy was supposed to show the very wide gap between straight men who crossdress, and actual trans women. I can’t even count the number of times I’ve seen the crossdressing community act like they’re in the same boat as trans women and then turn around and spit in our faces.
I read the scene where Marcy made the phone call as Maura looked on uncomfortably as showing the first time that Maura realized that maybe she’s not like the other people at the camp. On the phone Marcy went back to her “normal” self, and Maura couldn’t do that. She was being her normal self.
But I think a lot of cis people (especially straight cis people) think that crossdressers and trans women are the same, especially if someone’s going to be spending a whole weekend at a camp where they spend the whole time as a woman. That must mean they’re trans right? But no. It really doesn’t. This episode really rang true to me in regards to the way cis crossdressers treat trans women and the huge gap between the two groups.
That’s what I picked up too, I thought it was really well-done. I’d never thought about it before, and didn’t realize cis cross-dressers had that gross hostility towards trans women, though it immediately made sense
I never experienced hostility from crossdressers. Maybe that was more common 20 years ago, when this episode was supposed to take place, back in the heyday of Tri-Ess when no self-respecting heterosexual crossdresser — especially a married one — was ever supposed to acknowledge that they were trans. And I think this was intended to be a historical portrait of the way things used to be when organized crossdressers’ groups were designed to placate the fears of married crossdressers’ wives that their husbands (a) wanted to have sex with men; and/or (b) wanted to be women.
When I was transitioning 10 years ago, I never belonged to such a group or went to such an event. And I never personally identified as a crossdresser. But I did meet lots of self-identified crossdressers, mostly in online trans-related forums but also in person. And I didn’t get anything like that kind of hostility. It was more like envy, to be honest, whatever people said for public consumption. I don’t buy the old joke about “What’s the difference between a crossdresser and a transsexual? Two years!” But there were an awful lot of crossdressers then, and there are more now, who acknowledge that they’re trans. Even if they don’t ever transition. Some call it the “middle path,” some call it being “non-binary,” although the latter seems to be used more for people assigned female at birth. Like genderqueer used to be back when that term was more widespread.
In other words, I don’t believe for a moment that it’s such a huge gap, unless you make it one definitionally by arguing that any crossdresser who considers themselves trans isn’t really a crossdresser — an a priori argument if I ever heard one, that used to be advanced by the guy who ran TriEss, and insisted that crossdressers never transitioned. Which is flagrantly untrue. And you definitely shouldn’t generalize from the nastiness any individual crossdressers may have expressed. Whether it was because they felt threatened, or insecure, or were just assholes.
I was specifically talking about cis crossdressers, which I say at the end of my comment. One of them straight up says, “we’re crossdressers, but we’re still men!” I definitely think that any non-binary people who identify as trans are trans, regardless of how they dress or any transition related things they do. But when it comes to cis crossdressers, I still think they aren’t very similar to trans women at all. I’ve definitely had more negative experiences than positive ones.
The thing is that I’ve met a lot of self-identified cis crossdressers who turn out later on to be trans, and quite a few who transition. Regardless of what they originally thought about themselves, or said for public consumption. So I’m not sure it’s possible to say that there’s such a wide gap from trans women for any individual cis crossdresser, unless you wait 10 or 15 years to see what happens. Not everyone realizes who they are when they’re 5, and some who do realize it at a given point spend many years denying it. Which doesn’t give them an excuse to treat trans women badly, of course.
(My comment below was supposed to be to you, Mey, and not to Riese.)
you had me at ‘Firs things first: I’m the realest’
This episode has been my favorite so far, very insightful to the characters.
Young Sarah and her friend on the bus are so attractive I want them to star in a spinoff. Perhaps where they explore the world of SoCal college protests in the mid 90’s.
So if Ali was 13 in 1994, this means she was born in 1981, and therefore returning gifts from her parents for cash at the age of 33. Just want to make sure I got that right…
Also, Camp Camellia reminded me of this Harvey Fierstein play that was on Broadway last year called “Casa Valentina”. It was based off a Camp Camellia-esque place called Casa Susana, and is about a group of (presumably) cis-male crossdressers in the 1960’s. A lot of the play discussed sexuality more than gender, which really annoyed me. The crux of the play is that a portion of the group wants to go “mainstream” and by doing that they must ban homosexuals from joining the group. There was no talk about what their feelings about gender were (which is why I say they were presumably cis men, we never find out), but there was lots of talk about how if there was any male attention thrown their way, they should rebuff it. I’m sure there’s more to the story, but a play is only so long.
Basically, I want to see a show with Jules and Cindy in it ALL THE TIME.
Appreciating the Green Line shoutout but not really because the Green Line is the literal worst
hello it’s me here a year plus later just to say THIS MADE ME SO UNCOMFORTABLE. So much of this episode felt weird and I was not into it. I hope Ali did swallow that dude whole and not kiss him bc PLEASE. Ditto on the feelings about how the camera was panning over her during her scene with Jules, not into that either. OR Josh and babysitter person. I don’t know what I think’s going on between Marcy and Maura, but it made me kinda sad. This whole episode, other than the awesome dancing scene made me a little bit sad.
Thank you for being here all this time so I could come a year later with all these feelings and dump them somewhere. Ok. I’m gonna go finish the season now I guess.
ALAINA HI ITS ME HERE A YEAR LATER TOO glad we’re in this together
Ditto on watching super late! This made me sad but I also found it super revealing about the characters and I am *so* hooked.