Top Ten Nickelodeon Shows We Remember Things About

by Taylor & Riese & Kelsey

The Challenge, posited under questionable circumstances during a pleasant moment of ’80s/’90s nostalgia: Three girls in Oakland, California. No internet/research allowed. Just pure memory. We added the photographs afterwards but still have not fact-checked a single word. We have also allowed Managing Editor Sarah to late-add her memories all the way from Michigan. This is essentially an epic poem which will change online journalism forever and probably win a Pulitzer Prize and perhaps launch an empire of revolutionary changeymachine socialist warriorchildren bright-eyed glitterfaces.

1. GUTS

Mike O’ Malley, who you might recognize from GLEE as Kurt’s Dad, used to host this show wearing an oversized hockey jersey like a creep. But now we like him.

Kelsey: The aggrocrag was a tricolored mountain. MADE OF FEAR.

Riese: I remember people hanging “in things,” which sounds like auto-erotic asphyxiation, but I don’t mean it like that.

Taylor: Let’s be honest, all I remember about this is some shit called the “AGGROCRAG,” and it was the best thing that ever happened to me. The Aggrocrag was some terrible mountain made of foam parts that fell off and crushed kids as they scaled up it which is probably why the kids had to sign a lot of waivers. Everyone knew someone who knew someone who died on the Aggrocrag.

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2. Are You Afraid of the Dark?

Kids sat around a campfire speaking in hushed tones before the camera did that weird wavy thing. (Kelsey and Riese claim the technical term for this is “ripple dissolve”) (???) Riese wasn’t allowed to watch AYAOTD, so she only remembers the part around the campfire, which is a shame because it was the best show ever made.

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3. Salute Your Shorts

Riese knows the theme song’s first verse, which is “Camp Anawana we hold you in our hearts…” Mostly this was just camp-related hijinks, hijinks in cabins, hijinks by a lake. The camp logo was probably a cute hand-written style maybe made out of wood/leaves, in line with the camp theme. Which is a lot of cohesion for this genre, really.

Taylor: Invariably things happened and people had to go to a nurse or something, who was probably hot.

Sarah: That guy from Rilo Kiley was on this show! So there’s only one degree of separation between it and Jenny Lewis, who coincidentally was also a child star (Troop Beverly Hills, holler). The one episode I remember involved a radio call-in show and a question about what color a giraffe’s tongue is. I think the answer was black? There was also maybe a character named Donkey Lips? Which is really weird.

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4. Legends of the Hidden Temple

This show was Guts 2.0 but with animal-themed teams, like the ORANGE MONKEYS and what have you. People had to locate some probably borderline offensive totem poles/heads or something in assorted fog-machine-filled rooms of a temple constructed out of the kind of stuff in the bottom of those weird foam pits they have at gymnasiums.

5. Hey Dude

We can’t seem to recall the reason the children were on the ranch or what plotlines revolved around, but we are sure that it happened and was on after Salute Your Shorts.

Riese: The girl who married Ben Stiller was in it, the one who was also in The Brady Bunch Movie. And this guy who annoyed me a lot.

Taylor: This was the same show as Salute Your Shorts except it was set at a dude ranch, which is obviously not a thing. I was fiercely loyal to this show because my parents told me it was filmed near a place I used to live, which basically meant I was famous.

Kelsey: I can’t believe that an actual show occurred in the context of a little ranch with a horse and that was the whole premise – like somebody had that idea and then filmed it and it was on television. That’s so crazy!

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6. The Adventures of Pete & Pete

Taylor: This show made me feel dirty, I can’t talk about it.

Riese: I think someone from this show became famous but I might be thinking of a different show. This show annoyed me.

Sarah: Not as weird as Ren & Stimpy, but it was still pretty weird.

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7. Clarissa Explains it All

Clarissa wore really extraordinary outfits and a lot of hats. She was big into accessories and she moved letters with her hands in the opening credits.

Riese: I wanted to wear leggings under my jean shorts like Clarissa did, but my legs were too skinny for my leggings.

Sarah: I really doubt that those parents would’ve let the boy next door have a ladder perpetually propped next to their daughter’s bedroom window. That’s like all I could ever think about while watching it.

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8. Double Dare

Taylor: I think the host on Double Dare is someone. I didn’t like how they got slimed.

Riese: It was like Mark Burnett or something. Marc Summers? I wanted to be on this show so bad.

Sarah: OMG, Marc Summers. I hated his voice so much, and it continues to annoy the ever-loving sh*t out of me on Unwrapped. Why can’t he go away? At least Double Dare had slime.

9. You Can’t Do That on Television

Taylor: This sounds familiar but I can’t remember exactly.

Riese: Alanis Morisette was in it, it was like Canadian or something. My Mom totallllly didn’t let me watch this show, it was like the worst for some reason.

Taylor: Why?

Riese: It was like raunchier or something. I feel like there was a lot of media attention on this show, like Beavis and Butthead style. Actually though the real reason is because I wasn’t allowed to watch any TV with commercials in it because of you know, capitalist warmongers.

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10. The Secret World of Alex Mack

Taylor: She made me realize I should grow my bangs out because she had really great bangs. Or rather lack of bangs. It changed my life. Didn’t Alex Mack’s dad work for a research company or something? It was a pretty badass show. Kinda gay. Also clearly she was made of the same substance as Capri Suns, as revealed by some great marketing on behalf of Capri Suns Inc. some time toward the mid 90s.

Sarah: She turned into weird silvery stuff right? That’s all I really remember. Did she fight crime? What was the hook?

Riese: I never saw this show but I think looking at that picture it’s pretty safe to say that her “secret world” was the world of lesbians.

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189 Comments

  1. We didn’t have cable at my house so I only ever saw these shows while visiting my grandmother. Because of that, all of these shows will forever be elevated to some special status of 90s awesomeness. Also, I’m pretty sure I would’ve had my “I’m gay!” epiphany +/- 5 years earlier if I had been allowed to see more Alex Mack.

    • I too did not have cable growing up, and I only saw these shows at friends’ houses. Mostly the slimy gameshow type ones.

      In fact, since we lived out in the sticks, the only TV channels we got with any reliability were the local PBS station and the CBC station in Vancouver (which was strange, as we were nowhere near the border). I’d love to see one of these posts on awesome PBS programming – 3-2-1 Contact! Square One! (esp. Mathnet) Where in the World is Carmen Sandiego! Yeah!!!

          • I was way into Wishbone. Had all the books and everything. Oh the life of a child without cable.

          • does it make me a nerd that i still think about wishbone a lot, and talk about him a lot? because i’m pretty sure that was a really long time ago

          • I was WAY INTO SQUARE ONE. Like seriously I loved that show so hard. anyhow as mentioned 10,000 times in this post, I wasn’t allowed to watch any shows that aired on networks which aired commercials, so I only saw PBS and Disney Channel. But I’d always watch Nickelodeon at my friends’ houses, because like, that’s the point. Of going to your friends’ house.

          • Same here. (I think our upbringing was very similar from what you’ve said about it in various posts!) We went to friends’ houses to play Nintendo, watch Nickelodeon, play with Barbies/action figures, and eat junk food. XD

          • My first comment was going to focus on learning the Fibonacci sequence because of Mathnet. Then I thought that was probably oversharing. No one needs to be that nerdy/dwell on being that nerdy.

            But then I realized I’m in good company. Yay PBS.

          • OMG,I obsessively watched Mathnet when I was a kid, but I had
            forgotten the name of it. And it was bugging me that I could
            see it in my mind but not remember the name.

            Also, Kate Monday was hot.

          • I can up the nerd level here. I never watched Mathnet, but I did learn the Fibonacci sequence from reading the novelized version of the show. Whoa.

          • I was pretty much only allowed to watch Sesame Street until I was like 7…at which point I discovered Nickelodeon and cartoons at my friends’ houses and realized that they were a thing. So my mom relented and I could watch cartoons, but I was still expressly forbidden from shows like 90210 and Party of Five and Full House and all those other teenage dramas. Which is why I am totally pop culture clueless w/r/t the 80s and early 90s.

          • Me too! I was banned from watching 90210, Melrose, and Baywatch! Those were the only american shows in my country at that time I think. and we didn’t get cable till 1999.

            I did get to watch Full House though. that one aired around 5 or 6pm in my country, which means my folks weren’t home yet and I got to catch it right after school. There was another show I really liked, it’s also a sitcom, with Will Friedle. I can’t remember the title now.

          • Wishbone was amazing. My aunt got a Jack Russell in like 1997 and I was immediately disappointed in his lack of literary prowess.

      • This afternoon, while playing one of the newer games on FreeRice, it occurred to me that it was just like the final round of Where In The World is Carmen Sandiego.

        • I always wanted to be on the show and win the FREE TRIP TO ANYWHERE IN THE US! I’d fantasize on what exotic location I’d choose… of course, that’s hilarious now that I’m Ms. International Jetsetter Expat! XD

          • me too. i would’ve KILLED on that show. i spent a lot of time as a youth wishing i was on that show. i was always screaming at the idiots dashing around with their giant marker thingies on the map sucking hard

          • I wanted to go on and get to the end just so that I could wow everyone with my geography skills. I was always yelling at the incompetent kids who couldn’t get the markers on the right places in time.

            I think Autostraddle could have all-star team that would decimate opponents at Carmen SanDiego (and based on the comments, we would probably rule at Legend of the Hidden Temple too).

      • God I remember that. my parents wouldn’t change to regular cable until 9/11 when we lost the signal. My dad used to let me stay up extra late to watch Are You Being Served? and it helped me develop my amazing british accent and idolizing Mr. humphries… Oh, and the grouch was my favorite on sesame street, cause I was way cooler than all the other preschoolers and listening to public radio ALL THE TIME. I’m pretty sure my parents raised me to be the ultimate hipster baby/lesbian.

        • O.M.G. I absolutely cannot believe someone mentioned “Are You Being Served?” on Autostraddle. So incredible. There were soooooo many episodes entirely based on “knockers” jokes. Wow, you made my day/week/month mentioning this.

    • We didn’t have cable either! I’m loving the solidarity! All Nick shows will always be remembered as being watched on my grandma’s couch.

  2. Alex Mack was officially my first girl crush. In the first episode when she turns into silver goo, she forgets to change her clothing into goo as well so when she turns back into solid human form, it’s implied that she’s naked, and I remember the scene to this very day as being one of the hottest things on the face of the earth. Scalding hot.

    Also, she could shoot lazers from her fingertips. pewpew!

    • Alex Mack was my first crush too! Silver goo is somehow erotic.

      Also, it’s Mike O’Malley, not Mark. I don’t know why I know that.

    • Alex Mack must have even more extraordinary powers than we already knew of, because she was my first girl crush too. I remember I made my best friend in preschool play Alex Mack with me so I could kiss her cheek and pretend it was really Alex. Oh, my life as a lesbian four year old.

    • if i knew what being gay was at the same age i was watching alex mack, there’s no way i wouldn’t have made the connection. and then later on when she was in “10 things I hate about you” with julia stiles holyguacamoleimGAY.

      in other news, thanks for getting that ridiculous farty “salute your shorts” theme song stuck in my head guys.

          • Chiming in with another “Alex Mack was one of my first lady crushes.” That show was weirdly rad.

            Also the actress (don’t ask me to spell her name, it will end in tragedy) had a brief cameo on “Mad Men” the other night and I just about launched off the couch, exclaiming excitedly that it was “ALEX MACK OMG!” and everyone in the room thought I was having an attack of some sort.

        • Julia Stiles might have been my first celeb-girl crush, specifically due to her rockin’ feminist-outsider performance in “10 Things…” THEN I ended up going to college with her and running into her at an Ani DiFranco concert, at which point I said something lame to her and she made a face at me.

  3. Because I had no life between the ages of, like 11-17 (I wore big red glasses for the short early part of this time, therefore blame a lot of this on my eye doc and my mother for ALLOWING such glasses to be purchased), Hey Dude and Salute Your Shorts were my Saturday night fun.

    I am having a fucking grammar meltdown right now. HD and SYS are two things, therefore “were” is necessary… but those two things were ONE thing = my SNFun. I need another beer, anyway.

    Alex Mack was totally gay. Sure, she wore her hair down with that cute little backwards baseball hat, but I think the proliferance of baggy striped t-shirts (my own choice for much of my eighth grade wardrobe) AND the overalls… gay. Just gay.

  4. I DVR Legends of the Hidden Temple and gamble. I always put my money on the Silver Snakes. My life is pretty awesome is what I’m saying.

  5. I loved GUTS, Are You Afraid of the Dark? and Legends of the Hidden Temple. And don’t forget Figure It Out.

    Does anyone remember that show that had, like, people in stools with sticky notes on their foreheads and a wall of little compartments that had things in them? I feel like it also involved people getting hit in the face with pies. Actually, I have no idea what I’m talking about. Please someone back me up here.

    ETA: Nevermind! It was called What Would You Do? Funny how I couldn’t even remember the premise of it.

    • i think i remember the wall with compartment-y cabinet-y spaces, they were all crazy shapes right? and those colors nick used to use?

    • Figure It Out! I remember that. I’m also remembering that Amanda Bynes was on it fairly often. Maybe? I don’t know. How about All That, The Mystery Files of Shelby Woo, and Rugrats? :D

  6. I LOVED Hey Dude… I had a huge crush on the girl with the boy’s name… I wanna say Brad? Sadly, I’m unable to Google it at the moment.

    • Yes! I had a huge crush on that girl and I loved that her name was Brad yet she was really pretty but kinda tough and outdoorsy and liked horses.

      All I remember from Legends of the Hidden Temple was that the kids always took forEVER to assemble the monkey statue and it was only in 4 pieces and had a pretty basic structure, so watching them fail over and over was frustrating and very stressful for my 8 year old self.

      Larissa Olenick (sp?) i.e. Alex Mack went to a really ritzy private school near my house and I found out from mutual friends that she was a stuck up princess in real life, so it kinda ruined Alex Mack for me. I think her real personality closer to the character she played in Ten Things I Hate About You (the one based on Taming of the Shrew). In THAT movie I totally had a thing for Julia Stiles. The End.

  7. I LOVED ALEX MACK.
    I love are you afraid of the dark and have every episode on DVD. one of those episodes has mia kirshner in it.
    i feel like kids are missing out now like riese did then.

  8. I saw the dad from “My Brother and Me” in a Symbicort (asthma med) commercial. I love that Autostraddle gets me!

    • OMG! Do you remember the Goo punch episode?! How ridiculous is it that they had a character named Goo and he made some sort of drink and popularized it. Nineties Nickelodeon, your television is pure crack.

    • My Brother and Me was the best. I remember Alfie being such a big kid to me. Looking back now, he was just a baby. Seems like just yesterday.

      Also, remember the episode where the little brother had to learn to stand up for himself? And he kept saying “Hit ME, hit ME”? And the bully, who turned out to be a girl, hit him? Oh man, classic.

      • OMggggg dad stays quoting my brother and me!!! I swear I was ranting one day and sid “Hit ME” and NO ONE got it. Lmao

  9. I remember coming home from school and watching Legends of the Hidden Temple, which I despised. Something about it just made me want to smack people. I think it’s cause I felt like I could do the challenges way better than like… 99% of the contestants, ever.

    The Amanda Show and Sabrina, the Teenage Which were favorites though. I realize they’re from the later part of 90’s, but still. :<

  10. My teenage cousins and their friends have Legends of the Hidden Temple T-shirts. Clearly they’ve come to terms with the fact that our childhood shows were more awesome than their childhood shows.

  11. I hate to brag, but Ross from Are You Afraid of the Dark? is now my occasional local weatherman. I have a big fat crush on him – and also, my best friend definitely saw him at Safeway with his boyfriend one night. Cuuuuuuuute.

    And yes – the Weather Network is what happens of former Canadian teen stars. That and pop fame, ala Alanis Morrisette. Canada ftw.

  12. THIS IS MY FAVOURITE THING.

    I miss good Nickelodeon and I miss being like twelve years old and watching all those wonderful shows every single minute of the weekend.

    Kids nowadays think they’ve got it so good with their Sponge Bob and their whatever but WE WERE THE LUCKY ONES.

    • I’m around kids who watch Nick these days. Trust me. The ONLY thing they have going for them is SpongeBob.

  13. I LOVE YOU AUTOSTRADDLE.

    are you afraid of the dark scares the shit out of me, especially that doll episode. also what about doug??/

    • One of the scariest AYAOTD episodes was the one where these 2 kids get lost in the woods and find a mad scientists who asks them a riddle. it was something like “i’m weigh nothing but if you put me in a barrel, it gets lighter” then the mad doc put them in a cab with a zombie cab driver who was heading straight towards a tree at top speeds and if the kids didn’t figure out the riddle in .5 seconds they’d be dead. at the last second one of the kids screams IT’S A HOLE!!! and they wake up in their room. fucking terrifying. lol

      oh also the clown one, the vampire one (where dracula comes out of the black and white movie…i can still see his crazy long fingernails wrapping around a doorway). as you can see, this show did nothing to discourage my overactive imagination.

      speaking of which, did any of you guys read Goosebumps?? holy shit that scared me!

      • My favorite episode is the one about the kid who gets stuck in the arcade game. At the end, you really thought he was going to get out because he won and then they hit you with the whammy that the game starts all over again and he has to keep playing.

    • My awesome big brother bought me Doug season 1 on DVD for Christmas last year. I still remembered all the words to The Beets songs.

  14. I had an insane crush on Brad from Hey Dude. Brad was TOTALLY gay. I even bought the entire series on DVD off ebay like 10 years ago or something. Still have it in my drawer over there. Someone please back me up on the Brad/gay theory.

  15. Mostly I only remember Clarissa from reruns because I didn’t get cable until I was, like, twelve. Who doesn’t want a friend with a ladder, though? I also remember Legends of the Hidden Temple had some damn fine t-shirts, and were I posting from an actual computer I’d be that person who posts the link to where you can buy them – there’s one in every Nickelodeon nostalgia thread.

    • Now stuck in my head for the next three days: na, na, na na na na, na na na-na-na-na (alright!). Thanks, Autostraddle!

      • I remember being intimidated by both Clarissa and Sue Ellen (Christina Applegate) from Don’t Tell Mom the Babysitter’s Dead because of their fab 90’s style. I mostly wore skinny jeans, high top chucks, and t shirts from the warner bros store that had bugs and daffy on them. So yea, I learned early on that fashion was not going to be “my thing”

  17. oh I love Pete & Pete. I loved the soundtrack by Polaris. and Artie. and the tattoo. it’s such a weird show.

    There’s this Nickelodeon show I watched a lot when i was going to college called Hey Arnold. (I think it only started showing in my country during that time, or I overlooked it in high school.) I really loved Hey Arnold.

      • I know! I love his room. remember when Helga hid in his room?
        oh, and the time when Mr Kakashka took over the room with his poker buddies.

        sadly, at 29, i think i’m turning into Mr Kakashka (not sure about the spelling).

        all of a sudden i thought of the pigeon man. that episode almost made me cry.

  18. Mr. Wizard was OK, but for his experiments you’d needed all these beakers n shit that nobody has.

  19. Iggy Pop was Nona Mecklenberg’s dad! I wish kids tv was still that weird. Can you imagine a world where, like, Cat Power is iCarly’s PE teacher?

    • Speaking of weirdness. Rocko’s Modern Life. Ahhhh! Real Monsters. CatDog. Angry Beavers. Anyone?

      Wow. While making that list, I realized how weird Nick really, really was. Amazing.

      • Rocko was so strange. I remember the episode where Mrs. Bighead gets a nose and realizes that Mr. Bighead smells really bad so she gets rid of the nose so they can continue with their relationship. In retrospect I think there were a lot of metaphors in that…

        oh and i seriously considered the possibility of using toenails as currency like the monsters in Ah Real Monsters did, but none of my friends wanted to participate.

  20. Not even kidding, my first girl crush was Neve Campbell, after watching my first episode of “Are You Afraid…” It was an episode about haunted green soup or something and there was this creepy old “doctor” and she got locked in a room with a gargoyle?

    WAIT OMG: http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0514409/

    Hell yes, memories of being 8 years old.

  21. What’s creepy is that I literally made my roommate watch clips from most of these shows like 2 days ago (plus clips from 80s cartoons like Snorks and Wuzzles) to show her why people my age are the way we are. And I also wasn’t allowed to watch You Can’t Do That On Television, but I did anyway when my mom wasn’t around.

  22. I watched every single one of these shows, and I’ll admit it, Ellen (from Pete and Pete) was one of my first girl crushes. And maybe Alex Mack a little bit. AYAOTD made me piss my pants every day and it tied with Ren and Stimpy as best TV show of all fucking time. Represent!

    I must confess that sometimes I still get the “Hey Dude” theme song stuck in my head. Yes, all these years later.

  24. I want everyone to know that I saw Family Double Dare Live in Boston back in the day and Marc Summers literally slipped on slime on stage and had to be wheeled out on a stretcher …and he went by on the stretcher when my mom and I were coming back from the bathroom and I was officially traumatized / confused because they continued the show with like his double

  25. I loved double dare and how they wore those goofy uni-colored outfits and knee pads and got to slip and slide through obstacle courses and slime! Marc Summers… how ironic that he was OCD?

  28. i can answer almost any unanswered questions about any of these shows.
    little pete from pete and pete is in a jam band in new york city. when people call him little pete he gets pissed. also i loved the chick named brad on hey dude because she also was kind of a weirdo who loved horses, and maybe this should have been my first clue i wasn’t like the other girls.

  30. Don’t knock The Adventures of Pete & Pete. It’s definitely worth rewatching. (Spoken by someone who didn’t quite appreciate it in ’93.) Also, Nona fucking Mecklenberg! First-ish gay crush played by Michelle Trachtenberg. She tells Little Pete that she wants to be called Frank sometime in season 2 or whatever. Dude.

    Also, who are you kidding? Alex Mack was totally fucking gay. I loved every second of it. The fear of being exposed (and “turned into a science experiment” by her family), the one best friend she’s super close to (and out to) who’s also an outcast. Plus she rode a skateboard and was a tomboy. For serious.

    This post is too amazing! Thank you Autostraddle.

    • I remember Michelle Trachtenberg also played Harriet the Spy and I copied pretty much everything she did. I made tomato-mayonnaise sandwiches (what? ew) and had my own spy kit with a mirror and binoculars and a notebook and all sorts of things and I would spy on people and take notes and make up stories about how they were secretly doing bad things. Er… not like that… this sounds real sketchy now.

  31. Brilliant topic!

    I loved Guts and Legends of the Hidden Temple, I was completely convinced (and am still convinced) that I could dominate both of them if only I got a chance. They appealed to my insanely competitive ego.

  32. Are You Afraid of the Dark used to give me nightmares. I loved it! And I remember Legends of the Hidden Temple. I think I tweeted about this article like 4 times before finishing it after rediscovering all these shows like Clarissa Explains it All and Alex Mac. My bf says he used to have recurring dreams of obtaining the silver monkeys in Legends of the Hidden Temple.

  33. OMG! I literally did my own nostalgic Googling on this subject two days ago. Apparently, we’re on the same wave length. It was sparked by this: http://www.hiddentempletees.com/ – an ad on Facebook for a fantastic website on which you can buy amazing t-shirts including Legend of the Hidden Temple.

    Also, Riese, I wasn’t allowed to watch Are You Afraid of the Dark either, and all I remember is the campfire at the beginning right before the channel was changed, most likely to Disney. Actually, I wasn’t allowed to watch a lot of things, but that’s a different story. I’m not sure what my parents wanted to protect me from, but I’m fairly sure being a lesbian was probably on the list. That worked out great, obviously. :D

  34. i am so disappointed by your lack of appreciation for pete and pete. this is one of the best children’s shows ever produced ever. even into adulthood it is great. i’m going to watch it right now.

    • Seconding this. Pete & Pete was brilliant, and it, along with Clarissa and a few others, I think well explains the current styles and habits of 20-30-somethings in this country. :)

  35. my entire adolescent life revolved around tv in the following ways:
    Punky Brewster
    Salute Your Shorts
    Clarissa Explains It All
    Donna Reed
    Bewitched

    obsessed w/ CEIA. obsessed. still obsessed. obsessed.

    • Yes. Punky Brewster. And Clarissa. For some strange reason I always think of that time she and the dude sing their school song. It was like John Adams high or something presidential. Joey and Dawson totally copied CEIA with the ladder thing.

      My best friend growing up looked just like her. And her name was Marissa. So close. So close. Haha.

  36. Legends of the hidden temple was my jam. I remember getting really angry when the kids couldn’t put the stupid gold/silver/whatever monkey together in the temple.

    Also, loved Are You Afraid of the Dark and remember feeling like a rebel watching it at 6 years old because it was TVY-7… my parents let me watch this when I was 6 years old?!

    Also, Clarissa. Why do I have a weird, associative, obviously incorrect memory of an episode where Clarissa and friend or maybe Ferguson are making meth in her basement? Why does my brain think this? Obviously this did not happen, but they did make things down there… like, cook stuff in pots that maybe could explode, amirite? Or am I completely making this stuff up?

    • Um. I don’t think this happened. Are you confusing Clarissa with Sabrina the Teenage Witch?

      • haha, no, definitely not! Though maybe somewhere back in the depths of my brain they are getting associated…

        I don’t, that girl did something in the basement… I swear…

        haha…

    • Yes! the monkeys! they really did not look difficult to assemble. I was complaining about this somewhere higher up in the comments, good to know i wasnt the only one getting super frustrated about this. haha

  37. I have like 1,000 comments on this topic but let’s just start with one:

    CAN WE TALK ABOUT NICK ARCADE PLEASE?!

    • NICK ARCADE!!!! YES YES YES YES YES! No one ever remembers what I’m talking about when I mention this show and it’s frustrating. Being an avid video gamer this was like the ultimate game show.

      YES! WIN!

    • YES. Loved this show! And the game piece/mascot’s(?) name was Mikey. Can we talk about that? 100% sure that if nick arcade were still on TV, I would watch it religiously.

  39. I remember all of those shows except for Pete and Pete. And I think I was too young for Are You Afraid of the Dark? It scared the crap out of me.

    And I feel you all. I have a serious crush, still, on the actress who played Alex Mack. Every time I see her in a new movie or show I yell out, “It’s Alex Mack!” And then people look at me funny.

    Also Kenan and Kel anyone? All That? Doug?

    • Who loves orange soda? KEL LOVES ORANGE SODA! :D

      Also, anybody else think Doug was completely fucked after it went to Disney? It just wasn’t the same…

      • Yes! And then they did that movie together? Loved them.

        I don’t think I watched Doug when it went to Disney, so.. I dunno. That sucks though.

        • I don’t understand why today’s Nick doesn’t have anything even close to All That, and that movie was called Good Burger.

          I think I watched one or two episodes of Doug on Disney before giving up on it. Also, I think I was growing out of it by the time that happened, but still.

    • Kenan & Kel! I think it was in reruns by the time I was watching TV by myself, but it was my favourite show, along with like, Hey Arnold! and Rugrats and Aah! Real Monsters.

      Nick-nah-nick-nick-nah-nick-nick-nick — Nickelodeon.

      • I went into Good Burger on Broadway the other day, and nobody said “Welcome to Good Burger, home of the Good Burger, can I take your order?” and I was so disappointed. (Also it was a pretty crappy burger.)

    • Yes Kenan and Kel was hilarious. And I didn’t know there was a Disney Doug. I remember All That being annoying.

  41. I feel like this epic poem needs the Hey Dude opening lyrics. I’m not cool enough to remember them (all). So I had to google. Great post. Seriously. I love everyone’s feelings. A lot.

    Hey Dude
    It’s a little wild and a little strange
    When you make a home out on the range
    Start your horse and come along
    But you can’t get a ride if you can’t hold on
    Singing
    Hippy-ti-yi-ya
    (Hippy-ti-yi-what?)
    Like the cowboys say
    (Sing it again now)
    Hippy-ti-yi-ya
    (Get along little doggies)
    ‘Til the break of day
    Better what out for those man-eating jack rabbits
    And that killer cacti
    Hey Dude

  42. Legends of the Hidden Temple always frustrated me, and I’d end up screaming at the TV screen at those dumb kids who couldn’t stack the monkey correctly. Come on, the head goes on top!!

    Also, what about Roundhouse? That show was my jam. As was Clarissa.

    Also, when I was a kid I really looked like Alex Mack…like, I’d get stopped in malls and stuff…although now I don’t look like her as a grown-up. Weird.

    ALSO when I was in the 8th grade a teacher accidently called me Shelby (my name is Chelsea wtf) and then everyone in class called me Shelby Wu for the rest of the year. I am neither Asian nor do I solve mysteries. Kids suck.

    That’s all.

  43. What about All That?? I loved the skit with the two girls stuck on the desert island. I think I had a crush on one of them. And Keenan obviously was destined for great things (see: SNL). SNICK was awesome.

    • I liked the recurring skit in which they’re all stuck in a car in the middle of an empty parking lot. :)

  44. SARAH: just this past Saturday I talked about the black giraffe tongue episode of Salute Your Shorts!! Amazing. I tlremember that and the episode where they go looking for gold/treasure and it had to do with searching for a horseshoe.

    Guts was awesome. It was like American Gladiators but for kids. Probably why I have an unhealthy obsession for all this MTV real world/road rules challenges. Speaking of competition type shows, how about Wild and Crazy Kids?!? Omar Gooding! Who was on Grey’s Anatomy the other day. So weird that he’s Cuba’s brother.

    I def watched Nick more than the Disney Channel at that point. All they had during that time period was the new MMC and Kids Inc.

  45. Nickelodeon was like a way of life or something. I pretty much had a crush on like every girl from every single one of those shows. However, Alex Mack had my heart.

    What about Wild and Crazy Kids and (Wh-Wh-)What Would You Do??!?!

    Unrelated to the Nickelodeon topic:
    The first girl I ever remember having a crush on was from that Kidsongs series.

    OMG!!! I TOTALLY FOUND HER! At the end she says “OK, gang, what should we go on first?”
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BK3cmXErSKY
    Is it wrong that after watching this I realized that I still sort of have feelings for her? Since I’ve only ever seen her as a kid.

    I think I’m going to cry now.

    • You made my day with this comment. I have a random memory of this show and the song about the meatball rolling away, because they had a huge meatball roll off the table. I know how weird that sounds, but it’s just one of those things that’s in my head. Anyways, I never could remember what show it was from. It was this one!

  46. i fucking love that you guys did this. are you afraid of the dark was awesome, i loved the green paint that came down during the credits. mostly that was the only part i wasn’t too scared to watch.

  47. This article unleashed all sorts of supressed childhood girl-crush memories. Wow. I loved Alex Mack, but had an even bigger crush on her older sister cuz she was so, so brilliant and therefore absolutely nerd-hot. And I had not thought about Brad from Hey Dude since the moment I read this article. But since you’re going to bring it up, I will say that I hated Salute Your Shorts for standing between us.

  48. Oh man, this article + the comments are giving me so much nostalgia pain. And I’ve finally got a break from uni assignments. Hells yeah, looks like it’s recapturing my youth time!

    Also, fun fact – Larisa Oleynik/ Alex Mack totes played a lesbian soldier on an episode of Malcolm in the Middle. She gets a crush on their mum. It’s pretty awesome.

  49. there are all before my time. except of course are you afraid of the dark which kicked ass and was still running.

  51. I MISS ALL OF THESE.
    A few years ago when we got digital cable, all I could watch was the Nick GAS channel, because it played Guts and Double Dare and Legends of the Hidden Temple.
    I love Global Guts, too. It was so exciting when they had kids from Israel.

    • once my friends and i were watching nick gas and saw a girl from our town. we looked up up in the phone book and called her and told her that we just saw her on global guts and she told us to leave her alone.

      also does anyone remember the episode of pete and pete about hearing a good song on the radio and not knowing what it is and searching for it forever? my 7-year-old self FELT that episode.

    • She was! And a girl I went out with a couple times was in that movie with her (she played one of the older campers) and got to spend her birthday on set with Larisa Oleynik (who was ~4 years older and very nice to her from what she said).

  53. Random, but does anyone else remember this imported British sci-fi kids show that played on Nickelodeon called “The Tomorrow People” or something like that? It was really weird, really British, and I loved the crap out of it.

    • I remember a show called The Girl from Tomorrow, it was Australian tho I think…the main character was called Alanna, it was a good show!!!

  56. Did anyone ever watch Ghostwriter on pbs? How they all wore pens around their necks and always had perfect handwriting that took 2 minutes to write a word but then the camera would pan elsewhere and quickly back to a fully written paragraph.

    What was that Nick game show with Summer Sanders as a host? Mmmm Summer Sanders….

    • Ghostwriter was one of my favorite shows! I remember getting in trouble on Sunday mornings because I would be watching it instead of getting ready for church….

  57. Long time listener, first time caller.

    I’ve come out of hiding to ask anyone if they had as intense a preteen crush on Fi from “So Weird” as I did? It was a Disney show… probably the last good show before the Miley wave.

    I remember my 11 year-old pre-hormonal heart being crushed after that episode where she gets a boyfriend.

    http://www.imdb.com/media/rm343710976/nm0217240

    tl;dr So Weird made me gay

  58. i surprised more people haven’t mentioned figure it out, though the only things i remember about it are the kid who collected toe jam and the girl who could fit through a coat hanger.

    • I’m pretty sure we share the same selective memory. Did you try fitting yourself through a coat hanger when you saw that? I thought I was the coolest kid ever when I realized I could do what she did.

      • I TOTALLY DID.
        though i feel bad, now, for the kids that couldn’t fit through a coat hanger.

        i wonder if that kid still collects toe jam. while it’s cool to have been on nick (i live with someone who was on slime time live!), it’s probably nothing to brag about if it was because you decided toe jam was a fun thing to collect and keep in a mason jar.

  59. totally loved legends of the hidden temple. y no commentary on that?

    also, alex mack made me gay. i’m pretty sure.

  60. I usually watched You Can’t Do That On Television, Out of Control and Mr. Wizard’s World.

    Out of Control was the one hosted by David Coulier (subject of “You Oughta Know”).

  62. I always wanted to be on Legends of the Hidden Temple, but those orange guys that jumped out at the kids during the obstacle course TERRIFIED me.

    Also, one of the Petes had a metal plate in his head?

    • ME TOO. in my head those guys was the only thing standing between me and victory (because no one ever won on that effing show and i wanted to).

  63. Looks like I missed out on most of the Nick stuff, I too didn’t enjoy cable till about 99-2000. But I do remember, Carmen San Diego!! Loved it! I even joined the Geography Club, competitions and all. Loved Wishbone and Ghostwriter.

    TGIF was all the rage for me when I was younger, Full House, Boy Meets World-Cory and Topanga!!
    Here’s no one but my little sis and I ever remember: Dinosaurs. Where the baby dino would hit the dad dino and scream “not the momma!”
    Oh man, that seriously takes me back. Ya’ll are right, they just don’t make kids programming the way they used to.

  64. re: alex mack, it’s so nice/strange to realize that other tiny queer people had similar feelings about the same people.

    are there still young tomboy girls on television for kids to look up to?

  66. We seriously have most of these on DVD at my house and watch them on a weekly basis. Pete and Pete is one of my all-time favorites; when I was in a band in high school we played “Hey Sandy” for a nineties-themed coffeehouse.

    When I was really little we lived in the boonies and all I watched were PBS shows like ghostwriter and wishbone, which is still one of my favorite shows of all time. Bookworm for life, I guess.

    Tweenybopper shows nowadays all seem to revolve around them being super famous (IE iCarly and Hannah Montana)… that’s what made the old shows great, was that it was “ordinary” kids… Little Pete being a big exception.

  67. wow, the only person to come out of “Are you Afraid of the Dark” was Joanna Garcia. Even though most of her choice don’t last past pilot season. She still does plenty of prime time TV. Judy Resther, as butchy as was, tried a very femmey music career in her native Quebec. That didn’t work out though.

    I think the guest stars are some of the most memorable though… I miss that show.

  68. I think we need to distinguish GUTS from GLOBAL GUTS. There was a difference, I think…. Also that announcerwoman’s voice was so intensely accented. Like so much so that Im almost positive it was fake. I also pretend im in GUTS everyday at work at starbucks because our backroom is really really small so sometimes you have to climb over things or up shelves to get things, it really helps me get through the day.

    Also, hey dude was the worst!! I remember one year at camp, my friends and I had to go help at the horse area (because we were CITs) and we all ended up sitting around listening to music when someone mused, “This is what Hey Dude would be like if Hey Dude was cool.”

    I’m glad you didn’t bring up Wild And Crazy Kids. That show really was the worst. And as a child growing up in LA (real LA, where there are not lots of malls), I didn’t understand the appeal of the Mall of America, where I feel like ever episode took place.

    Some shows you forgot: What Would You Do, All That (what a great show), Space Cases (THAT GIRL FROM SATURN’S HAIR WAS A RAINBOW), Shelby Woo (which I feel like was mildly racist), and Roundhouse.

    Also, I gotta give it to Doug and Rocko’s Modern Life for being the best cartoons on Nick. And by Doug I mean pre-ABC Doug. On year my roommate and I were taking an experimental art class and someone did a big performance piece and she turned to me and said,”Well, that was some Judy Funny shit if I ever saw it.” Died.

    Also, not Nickelodeon, but another great cartoon: PEPPER ANNE.

  69. Pepper Anne
    Pepper Anne
    Marching in her own parade…I’m pretty sure Moose was marching in the Gay Pride Parade. Love it!

  70. Once those nodes start firing, it’s hard to stop them…I suppose it’s a bit A-D-D to jump from Nick to Disney. Or..me just hatin on those who got to see all the awesomely weird stuff Nick had to offer. ;-D
    However, there was one episode of Recess that I related to and that was when Gretchen kept getting one-uped by that super smart kid. The moral of the story being there will always be someone smarter/faster/stronger/etc. Doesn’t mean you’re not awesome still.
    Oh Autostaddle, way to shed some light on deeply rooted issues!!

  71. Oh man, first and last.

    First – it was my only dream as a child (well, besides going to Space Camp) to be on Global Guts. Biggest pre-10th birthday ambition (besides going to Stanford Law School… still in the works).

    Also, MIKE O’MALLEY IS KURT’S DAD!? OH MY GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD.

    Last – Alex Mack is the first girl who ever confused me (in the least sexual way possible) about my sexuality, when for some strange reason, I wanted to hang up pin-ups of her in my grade school locker more than Andrew Keegan. SO CONFUSING.

  72. From that Things 90s Kids Realise site:

    ‘All you need to say is the phrase “Now this is a story all about how..” and you can set any gathering into a synchronized rap session.’

    Heeeeee.

    • Seriously. Try posting the first line as your status on Facebook. Everyone will join in and finish the song. We have the first couple seasons on DVD!

  73. does anyone remember that one show i cant remember if it was a show or if it just came on during the commercials cuz the episodes where only a few minutes long it was about these people getting rescued and stuff i remember a few of em though

    1. a little girl gets lost in the woods and they have to find her

    2. a guy i cant remember if it was a guy or girl gets stuck on a ski lift during a snow storm and they have to rescue him

    3. a girl chokes on like a piece of gum or something and her brother has to save her or something like that

    stuff like that if anyone could remember id really appreciate it thank u lol

  74. I may or may not have watched some old episodes of Legends of the Hidden Temple on YouTube. The final temple part looked kind of hard to me. Definitely reminds me of that other show… what was it called? Funhouse? Playhouse? Something where you ran through a fake house set and had to locate things.

  75. I personally would add Wild & Crazy Kids to the list. I can still hear the theme in my head “Wa-Wild and Crazy Kids! ” I just remember one game where it was a version of Battleship using kids, some sort of lift and dumping beans on their heads. They had weird games on that show, but some looked pretty fun.

  77. I lived for these shows!! I was such a nerd. I miss The Wonder Years.. whatever happened to that? PS. Furgeson from clarissa explains it all looks like a creep.

  79. Of all the things remembered about Legends of the Hidden Temple, no one remembered the silver monkey? It was three pieces, and one of them was OBVIOUSLY a square base, yet no kid could ever put it together. I think the “fog” on the show drugged them or something.

  81. does anyone remember that show on nickelodeon in the 80’s maybe early 90’s about where there was that weather machine in it.and one time they cut that news paper and made like 10 humans holding each others hands.

  82. The only thing I remember thinking during global guts was trying to figure out if they actually got kids from different parts of the world and if so thinking it was weird that they all had to go through the whole show speaking different languages and not understanding what each other, or kirks dad, were saying.

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