Some of you might know that I have a complicated relationship with hot moms in media. More specifically, I both love them AND want to be them. Actually, maybe that’s not so complicated??

Anyway, in honor of Autostraddle’s 15^th birthday, I decided to put together a list of the TV mommies I both want to be and be with!!

A few disclaimers, since I KNOW there’s going to be some controversy here —

1. This list is not in order.* Frankly, that’s an impossible task!
2. If your favorite hot mom is not in this list, I’m sorry! I could only include 15 and there are so many hot moms on TV!

(*Except for Gigi Ghorbani, who belongs at the top.)

15. Space Beth, Rick and Morty

Space Beth is for SURE the cooler of the two main Beth characters. With her shaved head, eyebrow piercing, and techwear outfits … I’m into it. Plus, she probably has great stamina from all the space fighting she does.

14. Vanessa “Van” Kiefer, Atlanta

She’s stunning! Look at that smile. And she speaks German! We could move to Berlin and start a new life together.

13. Susan Bunch, Friends

I watched all of Friends last year (don’t ask, we all make mistakes) and my biggest takeaway was that they did lesbians so dirty on that show! Rude, honestly! Susan’s a femme top with a little sprinkle of crunchy, and I could see us finding a way to compete with the other members of a lamaze class (we’d win).

12. Claire Dunphy, Modern Family

Claire isn’t canonically bisexual, but her energy absolutely is!

11. Nalini Vishwakumar, Never Have I Ever

She’s a dermatologist, which means I’d get free cosmetic derm treatments. That’s how it works if you date a doctor, right? Plus she’s tall, which means I’d have someone to reach the top shelf (important). The only downside here is that she’s a little mean but honestly… I’m a little mean too.

10. Rainbow Johnson, Black-ish

Another tall doctor! This time, with impeccable style. I’d probably borrow all of her clothes and sneak into the ER to watch her do surgery.

9. Moira Rose, Schitt’s Creek

Moira’s accent is 80% of the reason she’s on this list. I’d be perfectly content to listen to her talk all day in her almost-mid-Atlantic accent. Realistically, we’d probably have to move into a larger apartment to accommodate her wig collection.

8. Selina Meyer, Veep

She’s kind of insufferable, but I think that’s part of the charm. Plus if she’s the VP, I bet that would mean I could use the bowling alley in the White House.

7. Chessy, The Parent Trap (1998)*

Yes, okay, technically Chessy is neither a TV character nor a mom, but she does act as a mother figure! I just wanted to include her because she’s a queer style icon and also, I love her.

6. Lorelai Gilmore, Gilmore Girls

Another messy mom! I’d be down to co-own her inn and turn it into a lesbian paradise in New England.

5. Bette Porter, The L Word

I don’t know how to figure out how many words were written about Bette Porter in these past fifteen years of Autostraddle’s existence, but I’m willing to bet that the number is quite high!

4. Morticia Addams, The Addams Family

She’s a polyglot witch with a pet carnivorous plant. Of course I want to date her.

3. Fran Fine, The Nanny

She’s got killer style. I guess this could just be because the 90s are back.

2. Shannon Glaser, Big Mouth

When she’s not grumpy, she seems like she’d be a good time!

1. Gigi Ghorbani, The L Word: Generation Q

Like I said, Gigi is at the top of this list for a reason. She’s the hot mom that inspired all of this!! She’s sultry, chaotic, and a realtor. I bet she could find us a gorgeous one-bedroom with southern exposures so all our plants could thrive. Sure, she’s a little messy, but that’s part of her charm.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!