“To L and Back” L Word Podcast Episode 307: Lone Star With Mal Blum

Musician Mal Blum joins Riese and Carly for this beefy-armed episode of “To L and Back,” “Lone Star.” TIna “goes to Canada” to chill at craft services with fucking Josh Becker, Jenny “shoots Max up” with hormones, the girls host a Happy First Chemo Pool Party for Dana, Billie’s bender continues to destroy everything in its wake, Alice chases a Dana cutout across several SoCal landfills, Shane and Carmen get matching tattoos, Eve Ensler hates Jenny’s book and everybody comes together to see the B-52s rock it at The Planet!

Index:

+ Mal Blum
+ Mal Blum’s New Years Eve is a meme
+ Taking a walk as a date happened in The Gay and Wondrous Life of Caleb Gallo
+ That notorious This American Life episode: Testosterone
+ The Cool “S”:
A zoomed-in picture of a script from The L Word. It is dated February 19, 2006. There is a drawing of an S, drawn from a series of 6 vertical lines, and it is labelled "Cool 'S'"
+ The See Me music video

Max (wearing a white tank top) and Jenny (wearing a pink floral shirt) are in the bathroom. Max says, "Look, you're the one who wanted to shoot me up," referring to Max's testosterone shots.

Dana sits in a chair next to a medical machine. She asks, "Have you been to my website?"

Shane (wearing a green t-shirt) and Carmen (wearing a white tank top and jeans) are in a tattoo shop. Shane is sitting in a chair with a tattoo artist (wearing a black tank top) stands behind her. Shane and Carmen say in unison, "Kiss of death."

Tina (wearing a black dress and black jacket) has just gotten off a blue and white helicopter. A man (wearing a green jacket, white shirt, and jeans) says to Tina, "I said, welcome to B.C.!"

Uta (Alice's vampire girlfriend, wearing a white shirt and black blazer) looks at Alice (wearing pig tails and a blue jacket, her back turned to the camera) and says, "You endowed mojo into this life-size voodoo doll."

Kit (wearing a red shirt) is outside with Billie (wearing a green vest and a pink-and-brown striped beanie). Billie says, "That's Mr. 'It" to you, superflystress."

Helena is in her office holding a white paper bag. Dylan is sitting on the desk with her back to the camera, wearing brown pants and a black shirt. Helena has just pulled something out of the bag, smiles, and says, "Cadbury's flake."

Dana, wearing a white sweater, is laying down on a lawn chair outside. Jenny (wearing a white shirt and black vest) is handing her a bouquet of white flowers. Jenny says, "I picked these from the garden"

Alice (wearing a white sun dress) is straddling a pool raft in Bette and Tina's pool. Her arms are raised, and she says, "I think you might be a spoiled star."

Billie is smoking a cigarette and wearing a pink tank top that says "bad people" on it. He is looking at Max, who is wearing a red shirt and whose back is to the camera. Billie says to him, "Big sister's over at the chemo clam-bake."

Dana (doing a guided visualization led by Bette) is laying in the grass. She is not wearing a shirt, although the frame cuts off just below her shoulders. Bette says off screen, "It's so beautiful."

Tina is hooking up with a shirtless guy in a movie set trailer. They are making out. The guy says, "You know, I never thought you were queer."

A sanitation worker (wearing a dark green shirt and neon safety vest) stands in front of a garbage truck. He says to Alice (who is off screen), "The lesbian tennis player?" when Alice inquires about the life-size Dana that she threw away.

Max is wearing a black tank top with a lion on it and is sitting in the kitchen. He says, "She's been shooting me up with it."

A fancy book editor (wearing a black top and a chunky necklace, with short black hair and bangs) sits in a dimly lit office. She says to Jenny, whose back is to the camera as she sits on the other side of the desk, "Young girls will read this."

Jenny is sitting across the book editor's desk, wearing a blue shirt and plaid scarf. Jenny asks, "I'm not transformed enough?"

Alice and Shane are standing in a dark and crowded room. Alice says, "That's a little harshy McHarsh, there, Shane."

Billie is wearing eyeliner and a white leather motorcycle jacket. He has one hand outstretched in a "tada!" gesture.

Bette, Mangus, and Helena are standing in a dark and crowded room. Bette is holding what appears to be a whiskey drink. Bette says, "So she went up to Canada to be with fucking Josh Becker?"

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Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3279 articles for us.

16 Comments

    • Kate Pierson’s favorite food is pear polenta tarts.

      That’s one thing TLW:GQ has lacked. It would have really spiced up one of those Dani/Sophie fights if Micah popped in to say don’t forget Lizzo is appearing at Dana’s tonight.

  2. Thank you Carly for explaining how directors are picked, I always find those things interesting

  3. Someone please make a ringtone / notification sound out of Carly’s Wax riff!! I would love it so hard.

  4. I’m watching the show for the first time along with the podcast, I hope there are more episodes coming that are so terrible you have this much fun with them!

  5. We called the cool ‘S’ a stussy. Was it called other things?

    I didn’t watch the 3rd season of The L Word because of the cancer story line. The podcast episode was hilarious though! Dana Fairbanks said “Trans Rights!” J/K she didn’t.

    • oh interesting, like stussy the brand??

      not watching s3 was a good call! the way they handle the cancer storyline is really terrible! (also we have a breast cancer survivor guesting on episode 309 to give her take on it, which will be yet another really great ep of TLAB!)

  6. It would be great to have Carmen Phillips as a guest… Dr CP did amazing on that senior editors episode…

  7. Well, The Flower Duet is permanently ruined forever for me because of this episode

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