The Carrying Their Show Award
The funniest lady on tv (arguably) is Kristen Wiig and she’s doing her best to keep Saturday Night Live from sucking (though I have to admit, the past two shows were definitely the best of the season). After the election, after Tina Fey wasn’t Sarah Palin anymore, after SNL wasn’t the most relevant program on tv anymore we were left with a so-so cast led by the amazing Kristen Wiig. She steals every sketch she’s in and keeps the show watchable week in and week out. Can we bump her up to “can do no wrong” status yet?
The Best Place To Get Your News
One word: Maddow. I think we’ve all been pleasantly surprised at how awesome The Rachel Maddow Show continues to be, both despite and because of the fact that Bush isn’t in office anymore. If anyone thought she wouldn’t be able to keep the momentum going post-election, they need look no further than this:
Our Favorite Talk Show Award
This one is really hard… I think it might be a tie? I love Ellen as much as the next lesbian or housewife, but I also really love Chelsea Lately, so I’d be remiss if I didn’t include that here. So, it’s a tie. These two shows are basically polar opposites but they’re both consistently hilarious and fun, so much so that I continue to DVR both daily.
The Baddest Bitch on TV Award
Tabatha Coffey of Tabatha’s Salon Takeover is the baddest bitch on tv, and I mean that in the nicest and most loving way possible. I’m so glad Bravo brought her back for a second season, I can’t get enough of it.
Our Favorite Week Award
The Award to the Shows That Keep the Music Alive
This award goes to the two networks/programs that are actually deigning to play music videos and band interviews at a time where most networks reserve these types of things for their online catalogs. If you want to see new music videos and band interviews on a television, you have both Fuse and Logo to thank for that. Fuse has lots of music programming, as well as these super-cool Takeovers, wherein an artist “takes over” the programming on the network for an entire day. Then you have Logo, which is probably the only MTV network that actually plays videos anymore, which is startling. Their weekly programs NewNowNext Music and NewNowNext PopLab feature artist interviews and the newest music videos, and The Click List: Top Ten Videos is a weekly countdown featuring up-and-coming queer artists.
Honorable Mention: mtvU (if you’re on a college campus you can watch it on tv!)
The OMFG Award
I only recently got into Mad Men (almost done with season 2!) but I did manage to see a few episodes of season 3. The lawnmower incident of episode 306 was not only the most shocking thing I’ve ever seen on Mad Men, it’s the most shocking thing I’ve seen on most shows. And that includes Buffy dying (both times), Ellen Tigh being the final Cylon, John Doe actually being George (HAHA JK THAT WAS STUPID), that bomb squad dude blowing up on Grey’s, Jackie smashing her finger with a hammer, Shane Botwin killing Pilar with a croquet mallet, and whateverthefuck happened in the Dexter finale this season (jk about that one… that is probs more shocking than the lawnmower but alas I’m only up to episode 105 of Dexter which is a shame because now the entire show is RUINED FOR ME FOREVER).
The Best Guest Star Award
I love a good stunt casting! And there were plenty of good ones this year… Megan Mullally on Parks and Rec, Jennifer Coolidge on Party Down (good god she was funny), Zooey Deschanel on Bones, Evan Rachel Wood on True Blood, everyone who guest-stars on 30 Rock, and Elizabeth Banks and Ed Norton on Modern Family. But I think the best performance this year would be Kristin Chenoweth on Glee! Her character April Rhodes taught the glee kids how to be bad while wearing crazy outfits and singing drunkenly, and who doesn’t love that?
The Best Ensemble Award
This is a tough category, as there are many great ensembles on tv (Mad Men, True Blood, Ugly Betty, the Office, Parks and Rec, etc etc) but personally I can find no weak links in the Nurse Jackie cast. I can never tell which supporting character I like best (Zoey, Dr. O’Hara, Thor, Coop, or our dearly departed Mo-Mo), and unlike most shows with a strong ensemble, I actually adore our lead characters too (not to mention the incredible performance given by Edie Falco, who had better win a goddamn Emmy for this).
The NSFW Award
It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia is srsly one of the best shows on tv you guys. Its genius is in its simplicity: a bunch of assholes who own a bar get into all sorts of mischief. There, that’s all. They drink, they do drugs, they beat the shit out of each other, they curse (thanks, FX!), they say the most inappropriate things imaginable… and all throughout you not only sympathize with them but somehow relate to them as well. Genius.
Also Danny DeVito is AMAZING.
The Best Dynamic Duo Award
Obvs the best dynamic duo around is Liz Lemon and Jack Donaghy. Yes, I am an unabashedly hardcore 30 Rock fan, but I think I’m not alone in this one. It’s been really awesome watching Liz and Jack’s friendship grow over the past few seasons, their interactions are hilarious and feel authentic. And as long as they never ever let them hook up (which I really don’t think they will), we should be good for years to come.
The Best TV Couple Award
I wanted a gay tv couple to win this award, since this is a gay site and all, but it was hard. Do you know why? Because there aren’t any goddamn coupled homos on tv! We really just have like, Bette and Tina, fucking SHENNY, and Calizona. So this award goes to Callie and Arizona on Grey’s Anatomy. They clearly have a more balanced and healthy relationship than any of the other pairings on that show and they are always shown eating food together so you know they are real lesbians. What? We all love food! Real talk.
Honorable Mention: Hoyt + Jessica 4eva (True Blood), Blair and Chuck (Gossip Girl), Barney and Robin (HIMYM, even though they broke up)
Dishonorable Mention: I want to make a point to say that Pam and Jim were not in the running for this because they are ANNOYING now.
The Number One Feeling Award
If there’s one thing I’ve learned from watching tv this year it’s that everyone is neurotic! That’s news to me! I thought I was the only one! Shows like Hoarders and Obsessed on A&E have really brought anxiety disorders into a mainstream discourse and I can’t tell if it’s a good thing or an exploitative one. Probs both, yeah? Anyway my number one feeling is always anxiety and now TV’s number one feeling is too.
The Please Have Sex Already Award
Hey Autostraddlers! Why don’t S and B just get a room and get it over with already? xoxo, Gossip Squirrel
P.S. If we were on Television Without Pity this would obvs be called the HoYay! Award (“homoeroticism, yay!”).
Honorable Mention: Chuck and Nate (Gossip Girl), Peggy and Joan (Mad Men), Don Draper and Every Dude At Sterling Cooper (Mad Men), Lily and Robin (HIMYM), Adelle and Echo (Dollhouse), Bill and Eric (True Blood)
The Most Squandered Potential Award
For those of you still watching the final episodes of Dollhouse — all 3 of you — you might have noticed that it’s getting REALLY EFFING GOOD. Which is so sad, because maybe if it had gotten this awesome a little sooner Fox might have given it another stay of execution. Oh well. It’s such a shame, really. It would’ve done so much better on cable.
The Award For the Nicest Show To Look At
Given the stylish threads, meticulously crafted sets, and genetically gifted cast, Mad Men has a totally unfair advantage in this category. And that is totally fine by me.
The Gayest Show on TV Award
The gayest show currently on tv is not Glee. Sorry, but all of the plotlines had to do with pregnancies and straight love triangles. Zzzz. If you want gay tv you need to watch True Blood. And according to Alan Ball, it’s only going to get gayer during this summer’s hotly anticipated third season. Thank gawd.
The Award For Our Favorite Out Actors
These might be the most obvious choices but there’s a reason for that. 2009 was a big year for both Portia de Rossi and Neil Patrick Harris and both completely deserve this award. Both are fierce advocates for equality (that was an Obama joke) and hilarious and adorable and wonderful. NPH hosted both the Tonys and the Emmys this year and somehow lost to Jon Effing Cryer for the Best Supporting Actor award (an indemnity from which I have still not fully recovered). Portia’s show Better Off Ted is hilarious and she appeared on Oprah with Ellen in A Very Special Episode About America’s Favorite Lesbians.
The Best Gay Characters on TV
I had such a hard time deciding which gay/bi/etc tv character to award that I just decided to give it to all of them! Let’s face it, there’s not that many of them. So I’ll just list them all and you tell me if I’ve omitted any.
Callie and Arizona (Grey’s Anatomy), Lafayette and Queen Sophie-Ann (True Blood), Marshall (United States of Tara), Mo-Mo and Thor (Nurse Jackie), Marc (Ugly Betty), Janis Hawk (Flashforward), Kurt (Glee), Remy “Thirteen” Hadley (House), most of the cast of the L Word, Camile Wray (Stargate Universe), most of the guys on Brothers and Sisters, Bree’s gay son Andrew and the gay neighbors on Desperate Housewives.
TV EXECUTIVES, TAKE NOTICE: This list needs to be a lot longer in 2010. You should be ashamed of yourselves.
The Best Show You’re Not Watching Award
Party Down is hands down totes the best show that you are not watching. You’re probably not watching it because it’s on Starz and no one knows what that channel is. It’s from the creator of Veronica Mars (it features many cast alums including guest spots from Kristen Bell, which: yowza) and its first season featured The Lynch Who Can Do No Wrong (and who will be replaced by Megan Mullally on the upcoming second season). Do yourself a favor and get caught up on season one before season two premieres in April.
Honorable Mention: Beautiful People (Logo), Mythbusters (Discovery)
The Most Awesome Character on TV Award
I mean, is there even any contest here?
Sue MF’ing Sylvester is the most awesome tv character this year and all years to come. She handily beat out Barney Stinson, both Blair and Chuck, Lafayette, the entire cast of 30 Rock, Georgina Sparks, the entire cast of Mad Men, Frank Reynolds, your mom, my mom, and Angelica’s two moms for this honor, and still had time to get her track suit dry-cleaned.
The Best Moment of the Year Award
TV is all about great moments; moments that make you cry, moments that make you laugh, moments that shock you, moments that are totally terrible and make you think a trained monkey was writing this crap… so out of all of the great moments of 2009 (Pam and Jim’s wedding, Chuck and Blair finally getting together, Alpha showing up, Alice’s priceless reaction to the monster that was Shenny, the list goes on) I think my favorite moment of 2009 was the premiere of season two of True Blood, wherein audiences were finally relieved to learn that Lafayette wasn’t the one found dead in the back of Andy’s car. Damn you Alan Ball for making us mourn the loss of that much pizazz for the better part of a year!
The Thing We’re Most Excited About in 2010 Award
Hey, didja hear? Buffy is going to be on Logo and MTV starting in January! That’s really effing exciting! Buffy, you guys! Buffy is back on tv!
And obvs we will all support teh gheys by only watching it on Logo right?
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Next: The moment you’ve all been waiting for … The Hot Girl of the Year Award!
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I love that the photo of Sara Ramirez looks like a class photo from like, 1997. That is amazing.
Not only did I reply to my own post, now I’m going to reply to my own reply. How meta!
I just now saw Alex’s amazing graphic on the homepage wherein Esmerelda and I are all dressed up to present these awards. Thank you Alex.
Everyone thank Alex for her graphics! The Hot Ladies graph was all her too!
YOU ARE WELCOME CARLY. Nothing says “Awards” like a bowtie and a muppet!
and nothing says “extra classy awards” like a muppet wearing a bowtie!
I am not ashamed to admit right now that the photo you used for the Award for Nicest Show to Look At Award has been my computer background for the last couple weeks. and I never have stuff outside of landscapes haha … also best new show tie totally spot on. I picked Modern Family & Nurse Jackie in my head for that. …k on to page 3
I would give the award to the show I miss the most being Battlestar Galactica. You are totally correct that Dollhouse is getting really good now. I feel like It peaked too late. The last 6 or so episodes have been fantastic. It makes me sad. I love dark and gritty TV. Olivia Williams playing Adele DeWitt would get my award for being the baddest bitch in the whole wild west.
Adelle is a total badass! OMG in the last episode w/ the Attic… goddamn she was FIERCE.
I know. When she looses control of the house and then gets it back. “There is no smoking in my office” She is maniacal and cold yet Whedon keeps showing her flaws, the drinking, Ms. Lonelyhearts, you want to hate her then she flares the scheming and then BAM she is playing the two sides against the middle.. AGAIN.
The whole thing with Adelle at the end of the last ep totally blew my mind, its been soo good recently! But now everytime I enjoy an episode it just makes me really angry its cancelled. Fools. Also Eliza Dushku is possibly too hot to handle.
I also loved when Topher was like “I tried everything! Homotopic and heterotopic stimulation…” and Adelle is like “haven’t we all?” … amazing.
there is too much to comment on, and this post was filled with too much awesome, so i will just say this:
when it comes to shows/characters i actually watch/know, i totes agree 100% on everything that was written up there. especially re: nurse jackie (and now that mo-mo’s gone :( the tie is broken and the best secondary character is obviously zoey… tied with dr. o’hara), chuck and nate (duh), sue sylvester (duh squared), true blood/lafayette, and party down.
JANE I FORGOT TO ADD THE PART ABOUT GOSSIP GIRL BEING AWESOME STILL AND EVERYONE SHOULD LEAVE IT ALONE. dammit.
I cannot wait for Party Down, Nurse Jackie, and True Blood to come back. Goddamn.
Also I want you to know that I almost didn’t put Chuck and Nate because IN MY MIND they have already slept together.
it’s okay, c. i know that you’re thinking it, and i know that WE KNOW that it’s awesome.
and chuck & nate have slept together multiple times, because there have been too many morning scenes opening in a hotel room obviously only occupied by them.
I WILL BE BACK TOMORROW WITH 15 COMMENTS I AM MENTALLY DOCUMENTING (??)
lies.
does kim z already have a music video for that song? because one time I was walking to dunkin donuts and she was on the side of a building like yelling at someone on the phone about it — I feel like that wasn’t that weirdest thing I saw that day either. I <3 nyc sometimes
Carly, you get the award for best host of a tv award show on the internet.
Alex gets the award for best graphic obvs.
I’d like to thank God and the gays.
Well, I really need to get caught up on Dollhouse (I just finished season 1 of Bones, I’m a few years behind in tv land… But Kate Capshaw had a part and I was like Calizona! when she walked onto my screen) and BSG just got ruined for me! cuz I’m only in season 3… I’m also just starting How I Met Your Mother, I’ve caught up on most of Glee via Hulu, I’m still in season 1 of 30 Rock, I stopped watching Weeds after season 2… I suck at tv. I also no longer have HBO/Showtime/any good movie channels because I have no money. But I think I might have to find some way to start watching that Party Down show.
Do you have netflix? I think they have party down streaming on there… I’d check right now but that would involve opening another tab haha
No netflix because that costs money, but I’m considering it more and more for the streaming content. Just have to decide what else I can give up first to pay for it!
ah crap, sorry dude. if it helps, I’ve had basically every show I’m behind on spoiled for me too.
It’s ok, Bones was already ruined a little for me elsewhere… it’s what I get for being so behind!
how did mary louise parker not make it??? i demand a recount!!!
<3 MLP 4eva
Somewhere on this list Dexter needs to be mentioned… nothing particularly gayish about the show, but it has the chick from Buffy on it, and shes hot.
but she’s dead now!
Dexter was really amazing this year, though.
Yeah we mentioned the end of this season in the OMFG Moment award. Sorry if that ruined things for you, Carly! It was a helluva twist, and I’m still upset about it.
I went a solid week or so managing to avoid what happened and then once I let my guard down I read it on some OTHER tv website’s year-end wrap up post. O, irony!
I was super proud of myself for avoiding any spoilers for the whole 4th season.. But the fact i didnt have internet during those 2 wks prob had a lot to do with that
I enjoyed this. But one thing I don’t get- Is Alice kind of the obvious killer of Jenny Schecter if there’s a whole series planned from her being in Jail?
I feel like the plan was that she was going to be framed. Either way it’s completely insane to assume that any of the characters were capable of murder so I’m glad the show wasn’t picked up.
the plan is that Alice was going to be framed. Ilene did not decide who the killer was when she wrote it, which is part of why the story fell apart at the seams and made no sense, Ilene broke a basic rule of writing. I know this for a fact, because I worked for Showtime, and they told me, and I also read the pilot script for The Farm. DONE AND DONE.
Riese and I should be friends. Sofia Vergara is definitely the hottest girl on the list. I would also like to honerable mention Cassidy Freeman from Smallville, who is redheaded and BADASS!
( http://i196.photobucket.com/albums/aa275/NJS06/cf.jpg )
Best new show IS Modern Family!
Best talk show is CHELSEA F-IN LATELY! Period
Best reality show is Keeping Up With the Kardashians! IMO (I also watched/liked drag race). Ongina should have won. She’s so cool and pretty!
Please have sex already award would go to Bill & Eric
I can’t believe I left Bill and Eric off that list. I’M GOING TO GO ADD THEM RIGHT NOW BRB.
Phew. I spend most of my TB-watching time shouting “just do it already!” at the screen whenever they’re both on.
I agree, Sofia Vergara is smokin’!
I would watch it and be like what is it about them. Its more than a dislike, not really a rivalry, its something, something in the past, he betrayed him..he defies him…he….no..no no he wants to smash, he knows he wants to smash and he won’t let him! Poor Eric.
yooo i wasn’t aware that Parks & Rec was ever bad!!! the gay penguins episode? complete brilliance!!!
The gay penguins episode (which, incidentally, I rewatched last night, as the entire 2nd season is on Hulu right now!) was the season 2 premiere, and the first amazing episode of the series. The first season was far less awesome.
Can we talk for a hot second about Skins? I watched a few episodes and whereas when South of Nowhere existed they googly-eyes’d each other, these girls are all “bow chika wow wow”.
Skins ftw! Can’t wait for season 4…though I hope they can think of some new scenarios. I feel like it’s getting a bit repetitive.
Omg “Law & Order: Parking Violations Unit” LMFAO – and not the band, i’m really laughing my a** off.
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. I have so many feelings about this post. I loved it mainly because i agree with you with every single thing you said! i mean Rachel Maddow! Sue Silvester! JB! The please have sex award!
This post is oozing with awesomness
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.Its so awesome that i can’t even come up with a witty comment for hey did you see that comment award fridays..i guess that’s the only downside to it..but don’t worry, i’ll live.
haha it really is oozing with awesomeness… I am just going to leave a bunch of mediocre comments because I have so many thoughts on this post but have nothing witty or clever to say
aw thanks guys! it was a real team effort though!
Rutina Wesley is gorgeous! Good call, Sarah.
I’m glad someone else agrees!
If only the tibetters cared about ACTUAL Tibet! Totes would be free by now!
I have actually been saying this since day one! Seriously, for the first two years of recapping you may notice that every time I say the word “Tibette,” I follow it with (Tibette the couple, not the country) and a link to Students for a Free Tibet where they could donate. Surprisingly this was not the most popular outgoing link.
Amazing recap Carly! I agree with 100% of it. I’m getting ideas for people we need to and will interview and photograph for Autostraddle. Margaret Cho!!, Jane Lynch, Rachel Maddow, NPH….
AHHHH, I just saw the graphic with Esmerelda the muppet!! Amazing!!
So I’m moderately peeved with you right now. I’m still behind on BSG and had managed not to get spoiled up until this point and you just threw in who the last cylon was willy nilly. Oh well. I love you anyway. Great list.
wait…where?! i don’t see it. AM I BLIND. i mean, i have seen it cause i know, but i don’t see a spoiler
oh yea its there. the 5th cylon.
yeah it’s there. sorry to anyone was spoiled in this post, but… it’s a recap of an entire year of television! some information was bound to get in there at some point!
Wowww this is the greatest tv recap post ever! I’m a little confused about why Riese is being eaten by a shark, it’s kind of scary, and someone spelled “worry” incorrectly. NPH ftw. Also, whenever I read your recaps I’m always partially convinced that I should start watching 30 Rock. If I watched more tv I would probs have more opinions but for now I’ll just have to agree with everything you say.
That would be me, thankyouverymuch. I kinda make it my trademark to spell things incorrectly when I do photoshop while being drunk. I can totally get away with it, I’m a foreigner. And as you know: “Oh yeah, it’s always the foreigner, heh!” (-Fez)
LOL I should’ve known it was you.
you really should watch 30 rock emily!
This just needs to be said.
Best couple? Naomi/Emily on Skins (I refuse to write Naomily ’cause that’s kinda ridiculous).
I know LOST isn’t known for being gay-friendly, (let alone woman-friendly) but you have to give it up to them for giving their viewers a damn stroke every WEEK.
very true. maybe i’ll get around to watching it some day haha…
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What about Glee?
Worst Impregnated Storyline Award
Sue won an award!!
i agree with everything here. claps for carly. this was great. ugh amaz.
I don’t understand how Christina Hendricks did not make it into the top five. Srsly, is there even a hotter woman ALIVE!?
this. i mean, hello
Gillyyyy!?!?
LOVEE parks and recreations and modern family, can’t wait for more!
“Dearly departed Mo Mo”
Did I miss something?? Is Mo Mo off the next season of Nurse Jackie??
You nailed it with both NJ and Modern Family as top new shows! I don’t even have Showtime and I managed to catch all of NJ.
ya he is… but for no reason, yet
Law & Order: Parking Violation Unit I’d hilarious! Win win win.
That’s* (somehow autostraddling on my phone makes me eff things up).
I officially do not want to punch you in the face.
Lol, Kanye making Taylor Swift relevant.
She bothers me.
I know I’m late and am just catching up on this now, but this was such an entertaining read, Carly! I laughed out loud @ “She handily beat out Barney Stinson, both Blair and Chuck, ….. your mom, my mom, and Angelica’s two moms for this honor.”