Hello and welcome back to The Morning Show! This week, we are finally blessed with some gay interaction between our favorite (Ex) Girlfriends in the News! It’s been too long since these two were onscreen together, what a desert we have been living in. Let’s get some tablesetting out of the way. It’s upfronts, AKA the time where networks beg advertisers for money. If you will recall, last week, Jon Hamm told Cory he wasn’t interested in buying uba, what with all of its institutional racism issues. This means uba is a precarious financial situation, and everyone is putting on their best charms to win over various ad execs. Well, that’s what Cory wants them to do, but if you can imagine, all of the girlies have a different interpretation of what that means.

For Bradley, it means: Call your ex and invite her to a party in the Hamptons! Never mind that she straight up works at a competing network! This is set into motion after Bradley watches NDN’s upfronts (where do they stream those?) and, most notably, watches herself and Laura get roasted by Fortune Feimster. It seems Bradley’s video sext (do we have a proper name for that?) has not leaked, but rather, some pretty PG photos of Laura and Bradley from their time in Montana. Fortune is dragging them for…being boring? “By the looks of it we are in for a Sound of Music lesbian reboot!” Girl I guess? There is photo of Laura kissing Bradley’s head, one of them holding a goat, and one of them apple picking. The goat photo opens up a world of questions for me, namely: Is Laura’s ranch an actual, working ranch?? If so, why have I not seen it, and why is there not a spin off about the staff??? Either way, these memories are enough for Bradley to call her ex and invite her to the upfront party. Important to note is that Laura might not be able to make it, as NDN has a “skate party” planned. Huge props to whoever the hell decided that was what would sell to advertisers!

I have not stopped laughing yet!!!

Alex, ever the innovator, has taken it upon herself to charm Jon Hamm back into the uba fold. She rolls up at his hotel in an incredible Porsche convertible (yes, I googled “fancy car brands” and matched the logo — like Bradley, I am journalist!) and looks at him with her huge blue eyes for long enough that he jumps in. Sorry to be straight on main, but I still want them to fuck!

Over at Party Prep Central, Cory is demonstrating that whatever else he may be, he is a A+ event host, by asking that the towering raw bar be moved out of the direct sunlight. Good call! As the party gets popping, Chris and Mia take some time to steel themselves. Frankly, if I were Chris, I would be staying far away from any corporate meet and greet nonsense. How are you gonna make me charm people after the events of last week! But Chris is professional, and manages convince slash lightly threaten Stephen Fry (did I mention he was on this show now? He is!) to bring up the staggering pay disparities at uba to the board. She has a looooot of eyes on her now, and who knows what she might post to her millions of followers if he doesn’t come through. Pop the hell off, Chris! Mia is distracted by her war photographer maybe boyfriend this episode, after sending him to report on a bombing in Mariupol. The show has dedicated zero time to investing me in this relationship, so I am having a hard time caring!

Where has Alex taken Paul? Oh, to Coney Island of course! Where better to charm a billionaire? It feels less like a tactic to get him back in at uba and more like ‘Alex needs to get laid,” but! Kill two birds with one stone and all that. There is a moment where he grabs her belt loop and tugs her out of his way and it’s…stupidly hot? Who am I????

Me in my straight era??

Stella…is not having a day of slay. Despite it being “baby’s first upfronts,” she is tasked with getting a good chunk of ad money from the “Ellipse Boys.” Since uba is broke as fuck, they need to shore up a bunch of money so they can secure a loan and avoid mass layoffs slash going under. The “Ellipse Boys” are truly grotesque, complaining about how boring “New American” restaurants are, (unfortch they have a point) whining that they didn’t go to Carbone (lol), and releasing a general noxious misogyny that only gets worse as they get tanked. Stella tries to keep up, but she respects her liver too much, so she goes to the waitress and asks that her martinis have a lot less gin and a whole lot more water. Eventually, the most obnoxious Ellipse Boy susses out her deception and tells her he will agree to her asking price IF the waitress licks up her spilled drink. It’s deeply fucked up, and Greta Lee does some incredible work as Stella tells the waitress she’s good for the 20K tip, still trying to be “one of the guys,” while also trying to convey via her eyes how sorry she is. The waitress dutifully licks up the spill, with the boys making appreciative sounds as she does. It’s disgusting and feels upsettingly real. Stella gets the money and sobs in the car on the way to the Hamptons. Again, it’s well done! It’s just a little jarring when this show swerves into a serious moment is all!

Will wonders never cease! Bradley is doing her job, schmoozing with some of the suits at Cory’s party looking like a woman who would rather be anywhere else. And look, that’s fair, this is probably miserable! Could we get an ex to the rescue, please? Praise the Lord, Laura heard my call and slides in to borrow Bradley. “I could hear you dying inside,” Laura smirks as they take a beat away from the masses. Bradley is amazed that she was able to get away from the “YDA Skate-a-thon,” which was an ice skating event? What??? For her part, Laura is relieved to be free of drunk Audra on ice, and it’s important we all remember the Audra she is referring to is Mindy Kailing, because that is objectively hilarious. Plus, she wanted to see Bradley and, it seems, creep around Cory’s house. Relatable! They sneak off upstairs, and I am rubbing my hands together with anticipatory glee. Fucking your ex girlfriend in your boss’s house? Your boss who was in love you two years ago? Not to be toxic but I support it!

Alas, we are robbed. They investigate Cory’s room and discover he bought his bed from the hotel and installed it in his home. A bonkers, but delightful detail, and it feels extremely true to character. Laura wonders, like many of us, why the sext video of Bradley didn’t get leaked in the hack. Bradley tries to play it off like it’s no big thing, but admits she’s pretty sure Cory paid them out of his own pocket. I feel like…I would want concrete info here? How could you function without knowing for sure? The face Laura makes in response feels like a summary of my feelings: disbelief with a hint of get a grip. Laura makes a joke about Cory missing Bradley being right down the hall, and I don’t think she means it in a mean way, but Bradley does not take it well, suggesting they go back downstairs before people start to wonder. And just like that…Laura misses her chance to revenge fuck on Cory’s bed. A pity!

A woman who has missed her chance!

And because she is a good person, Laura brings her ex a drink with a side of an apology. Bradley’s just confused, you see, because she’s been thinking about their relationship. “I’m not asking for any of that,” is Laura’s hilarious response. To be clear, if I ever heard those words from an ex, I would throw myself into traffic. Not so much for Bradley! Part of her wants to run away with Laura again (girl get in line!) and part of her remembers how miserable she was. I do not remember how miserable she was because I have not seen it!!! Cory pops up to put a stop to this GAY BEHAVIOR, and Laura reads the room like a pro and dips. “I’m really not asking that much, considering all I’ve done for you,” he says, alluding to the supposed murder they covered up. It’s a bit intense, even for Cory.

What is wrong with him, you ask? Well! Turns out, Fred Micklen (Angela Chase’s dad from My So Called Life, villain of The Morning Show S1) is back! If Bradley and Cory did kill someone and cover it up, I cannot fathom why it wasn’t him! Fred is consulting for the company that Cory is trying to get a loan from, and if uba takes said loan, he will be in charge of every single decision Cory makes. “You’ll be wearing golden handcuffs when I fuck you,” Fred says. Totally normal thing to say to the man whose party you are crashing! Which means, of course, that they can’t take the loan, and Stella and that waitress went through hell for….nothing.

But what’s that? Is that the sound of a whirlybird, preparing to land dramatically on the beach in front of Cory’s mansion? Whomstever could be inside it? If you guessed “Alex and Jon Hamm,” congratulations! They have a gorgeous slo-mo entrance to “Truth Hurts” (yikes!) and it is possible that uba will live to fight another day!!!

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