The year is 1996, and two of the most iconic things are about to enter the world: me and the Scream franchise. It would take me another 25 years until I’d finally watch the film, but boy when I did, I fell in love. I was stuck in my Bushwick shoebox apartment with COVID, and just a few years earlier, I had been reintroduced to and seduced by the horror genre (thank you, Mike Flanagan!). I figured the best use of my time would be to binge all of the Scream films.
I now watch the franchise annually. Last year, I had the joy of showing it to my girlfriend for the very first time. It was so much fun to watch her watch the films, she had such great commentary about each of Gale Weathers’ hairstyles, and she’d proudly announced every cameo on screen. But this year, my girlfriend politely asked to be excused from this year’s rewatch, and so I watched Scream alone last Friday night while I was home with a cold.
This is my first time watching Scream as an out trans guy, six months on hrt and trying to figure out what kind of man I want to be or even could be. Now when I watch movies, I find myself comparing myself to the guy characters and seeing who I want to dress like or act like or grow facial hair like. Let me tell ya, the men of Scream are ripe for gender envy. I mean, peak ’90s heartthrobs. Quality sweaters. As I watched, I live-ranked the male characters by how much I aspire to be them.
Casey’s Dad/Mr. Becker
We only see Casey Becker’s father for a few moments on-screen, from the minute he enters a smoke-filled and wrecked home. There’s not much to judge him on other than a small moment where he tells his wife to call the police and then he STANDS BEHIND HER IN FEAR. Listen, I know you can’t find your daughter and your house looks like a warzone, but you would not catch me quivering behind my wife. For that, he’s out.
Cotton Weary
Cotton Weary only appears on-screen on a TV screen in the first film. We catch a glimpse of him walking in his prison orange with his hair slicked back. I do envy his hair, and perhaps some of the attention he’s getting (just kidding…) but other than that, no strong feelings.
Steve
You will not catch me being the first to die in a slasher film, no sir! What good is it to be a hot brunette with a varsity letter jacket if you’re just going to bleed out by your girlfriend’s pool?! Could never be me.
Principal Himbry
Henry Winkler is perfect in Scream. I love how protective Principal Himbry is and how much he was not putting up with any bullshit when it came to the Woodsboro murders. I adore that his morbid curiosity got him to try on the mask, and I adore it even more that he scared himself. But at the end of the day, he is five foot six with a thinning hairline and he mounts fish on his office wall. Next!
Randy Meeks
Now, do I kind of dress exactly like Randy Meeks and simp after women out of my league the same way he does? Absolutely. But my transition is about growth, not complacency. I do not aspire to be Randy Meeks because I find that I am, presently, too similar to him. I mean look at me, I’m writing about a horror movie.
Sheriff Burke
Pardon me, but Sheriff Burke is one hunk of a man. Whatever testosterone is doing to my body right now, it looks like I am on a fast-track to having the same build as him, and I’m okay with that! My favorite Sheriff Burke moment is when he serves some fantastic sass to Hank Loomis when the prick tries to tell him how to do his job.
Kenny
Kenny has the sickest facial hair out of every male cast member AND he gets bossed around by a beautiful, awful woman all day for work. Backwards cap? Baller. He just seems a little unmotivated, not much of a go-getter. You’re a cameraman for the news while there’s a serial killer on the loose and you FELL ASLEEP? Come on, dude.
Billy Loomis
Listen, if you typed “90s dreamboat guy that I can show a picture of to my barber” into Google, Billy Loomis would pop up. His cheek and jaw lines are impeccable, and I will spend the rest of my life buying weird products that promise me the same results. He’s beautiful, but man is he a bad boyfriend. I could see past all the killing stuff but being a little bitch when your girlfriend doesn’t want to go to second base? No thank you!
Stu Macher
It’s even a bit puzzling to me how Stu has made it so high on my list given his short haircut, lack of facial hair, and beta mentality but I just can’t help but to feel something special when I look at him. He’s got that effortless “boy” look. Does that make sense? He wears the hell out of an oversized sweater and I love his little necklace. He’s also soooo tall and has dimples! Ultimately, he is a murderous little pussy. Everyone has their flaws, I guess.
Dewey Riley
Deputy Dewey Boy is kind of everything I aspire to be as a man. Which is to say, I love to do all of the things that make a guy a great man while still being seen as not much of a man. Dewey is an exemplary big brother, a great son, and a bad cop. The most aspirational thing about Dewey? He is a 25-year-old dweeb dating a 32-year-old television personality with an attitude. The second most aspirational thing about Dewey? That fuck ass mustache. And the best thing about it? I can achieve that mustache! I think Dewey is the perfect amount of pathetic, the correct level of cute, and I am actively trying to be more like him.
The good news is that just like Scream, gender envy will never get old. I’ll find new men (perhaps even men in this franchise!) to aspire to be like.
HORROR IS SO GAY is Autostraddle’s annual celebration of queer horror.
Hi
I’m sure this won’t be surprising, but I, too, aspire to be like Dewey. That’s my fuckin’ brother right there.
Can we not use misogynistic slurs? Please?
“beta mentality”
“little pussy”
“little bitch”
And men who are less brave or less capable of physically fighting than their adult female life-partners are inherently worthless and deserve to be mocked, apparently.
…Well, you’re already doing that “a man may not show any weakness” toxic masculinity thing and also the “anything feminine is lesser and therefore bad and degrading” casual misogyny thing just the same as immature cisgender men all over the country.
Congratulations?
Hey Robin! Your concerns are very valid here. “Beta mentality,” “little pussy,” and “little bitch,” are for sure all terms I use in this post. You’ll notice that all of these terms are assigned to the two men in this list who are serial killers. Stu Macher does quite literally, by definition, have a beta mentality. He goes on a killing spree so that his more dominant/popular/good looking male friend will like and accept him. This isn’t just a term coined by incels online. It is a real, legitimate personality type, and Stu Macher has it. I do not regret using “beta mentality” to describe this fictional serial killer, and that goes the same for “little pussy.”
Yes, I also use “little bitch” to describe Billy Loomis, another fictional serial killer, in the context that he acts “LIKE A LITTLE BITCH WHEN HIS GIRLFRIEND DOESN’T WANT TO GO TO SECOND BASE.” I am describing a murderous man who throws a fit when his girlfriend won’t let him do the things he wants to do in bed. I would happily continue calling men who try to pressure their girlfriends into sexual acts they do not consent to “little bitches.”
I completely understand how if I was using these words to describe real-life men, that could be problematic. If I walked around all day and called men “betas” or if I called a guy a little pussy for doing something I don’t like.. that would be fucked up. It’s important to me that we all understand this is a comedy post written by a comedian, these men are fictional, these men are fictional murderers, these men are fictional murderers who are shitty to women. I am absolutely comfortable satirically using toxic male language to describe them, and I apologize if you do not like that.
As for the comment about Mr. Becker… I never said he couldn’t show any weakness or that he’s worthless and deserving of being mocked. I didn’t even really mock him, I just said that I do not want to be that type of guy. *I* simply just want to be the man that stands in front of his wife, not behind. When push comes to shove maybe I wouldn’t be that brave, but hey I’d like to think I would/could be. No one said a single thing about “physical ability” to defend, so let’s not put words in people’s mouth.
But thanks for the comment about my relationship to my gender! Feels cool!
Is a Joe Rogan bot writing for Autostraddle now? Seriously this is so embarrassing for trans dudes. I can’t believe you’re publishing something with the words beta mentality, little pussy, little bitch etc. Maybe think more about what kind of man you want to be if this is the best you’ve got. Most of us (trans and cis) spent years unlearning the misogyny 90’s teen movies taught us, and you can too. I believe in you champ.
Signed,
A 5’6 trans man with a thinning hairline who would be proud to be compared to Henry Winkler
Hey Ben – this is a comedy post written by a comedian (it’s tagged as such). I use the words/terms “beta mentality,” “pussy,” and “bitch” to describe fictional serial killers and how I do not aspire to be a guy who is a serial killer. I can absolutely see the issue here if I was describing real, non-murderous men. That would be a red flag! I am quite literally making a satirical joke about how although in all regards these men are “the goal” in regards to looks, physique, etc… I do not want to be them because they are MURDERERS who CRY when they don’t get their way. And yes, I unfortunately do not aspire to be Henry Winkler in this film and that is absolutely my right. You can write a post about how much you’d like to be him! That’d be great! But sure, let’s compare me, a trans guy, to Joe Rogan, for saying Stu Macher, who literally goes on a killing spree in order to get the acceptance of his more dominant male friend, has a beta personality. And I’m sorry that I called a guy, who is also a murderer, a little bitch for trying to pressure his girlfriend into doing sexual things she does not want to do. And I’d do it again! I can’t believe you’re taking a post about me listing how much I want to be different fictional men from a 90s horror movie listed under the “comedy” category as a serious testament to my relationship to gender. Thanks for believing in me, buddy.
I don’t understand why you think using these words for fictional characters makes it any different? It’s using terms that reference femininity to attack someone as weak, comparing women unfavorably to men. It’s base and misogynistic. And then when people call you out on it, you can’t just admit fault. You claim it’s just comedy.
If I called a fictional character “gay” as in stupid, would that be OK too? What about describing a fictional place as “ghetto”?
God this attitude is so rancid. Autostraddle really has gone down the toilet if this is one of the writers on a once “feminist” website.
We’re really leaning into the humorless stereotype in the community today, aren’t we?
Newsflash: misogyny isn’t funny
like several commenters, I’m disappointed in this article. the concept was really exciting, I’m a lesbian exploring gender identity and masculinity and I like the gender envy idea here!
but the sexist language used bothered me too, and the author’s responses to comments bothered me more. chalking toxic masculinity up to “comedy” and saying you wouldn’t use this language IRL but somehow in this context it’s totally fine? real “get over it it’s just a joke” vibes that I’ve heard too many times to excuse bad behavior.
there’s been an uptick in toxic “bro” mentality articles here lately (the pick up artist one stands out) and it’s disheartening. queer people don’t need to emulate the way shitty straight men behave.
This 1000%. It’s so dissapointing to see garden variety misogyny/toxic masculinity here. The recent uptick in this garbage is probably what’s going to push me to pull my AS (sorry, for them) donations, especially the crappy, condescending frat boy comments from the author. It’s just disgusting, I see it all over the internet and don’t need it here too. AS needs to do a lot better.
Sure do love a man telling a bunch of women that They’re the Authority on What’s Misogynistic, Actually.
Sorry, trans guys, but you are guys, and being DFAB and subject to transphobia doesn’t give you some magical pass to talk about women just like all other men talk about women. Stay in your fucking lane, and when women point out you’re over the line, take the lesson.