Wyatt and Callie are in a hotel room and Callie tells him that she is going to take a shower. I can’t help but wonder if they checked that bed for bedbugs. Wyatt spends his alone time walking, staring and running his hands through his hair which – translated – means, “I am beautiful yet conflicted.” The phone rings and Lena is calling from Callie’s phone. She leaves a message asking him to call if he knows anything and there is more staring and hair fluffing and then he deletes the message.

Stef is lying on her new craftmatic adjustable bed and Sharon appears and Stef says that she doesn’t want her to say “I told you so.” It’s like Stef doesn’t even know how moms work. Annie says that she wants them to keep Jude because he is a special kid and Stef says that Callie is too and the she cries and her mom hugs her and then Stef says, “What happened to our bed?” Annie then works the controls and Stef goes up and down and starts laughing and it’s like riding a mechanical bull! Take note, Stef. Make use of that feature later and let us all watch.

Back at the hotel, Wyatt and Callie are chatting and Callie thinks she’ll go to Indiana, get a job and a GED and a place to live. I choose not to point out the possible flaws in her plan because I know that it’s been a rough couple of days. Wyatt then suggests that her dad might be looking for her. Yeah, Wyatt. And maybe her dad’s an alien ghost time traveler. Both seem equally as likely.

Next, we see Wyatt holding Callie while she sleeps and then there is a time lapse thing and it’s morning. Callie snuggles deeper into him and he squirms out from under her and says they have to go. He says he’ll meet her at the car. As he walks down the stairs to the parking lot, we hear Stef say, “Hey, you going somewhere? Where’s Callie?” Stef and Lena look beautiful in this scene. They should probably look like hell after all the worry but nope – gorgeous. Stef, did you do something different with your hair? Lena, is that a new shirt? Did you ladies eat tacos in your folding bed? Whatever you did – it’s working for you.

So worried, yet so beautiful.

Callie looks out the window and sees the moms and we find out that Wyatt called them! I love Wyatt now! Wyatt is my favorite! I will give Wyatt all the juicy pear flavored jelly bellies! Wyatt takes them to the room and they find that Callie’s gone. They run out to the parking lot and Stef yells Callie’s name and it turns out that Stef is a really shrill screamer. She needs a lesson from Luce in Imagine Me and You. “You’re a wanker number nine!” Then, we see Callie get into a semi and take off.

Mike is in the Great Lesbian Kitchen and Sharon is gone and I weep. Mike is serving eggs but Mariana says that she doesn’t eat eggs anymore because they keep the chickens in tiny cages. Mike is sure the eggs are cage-free which only makes my argument agains the Aunt Jemima syrup that much stronger! Jude wants cereal, Jesus wants all the eggs, Brandon wants to mope. Mike starts making lunches but Marianna doesn’t eat ham because of the pigs. He asks about peanut butter and says, “Anybody abusing the peanuts?” Mike is pretty adorable in this scene and then I remember all the drama with the drinking and the mustang driving from a few months ago and am a little confused. Brandon asks Mariana if she thinks Callie is back with Wyatt and what the peanut? Brandon has lost his mind.

Digression 5: Making lunches for the kids can be chaotic. My daughter likes bacon for lunch – just a pile of bacon in a container. I once ruined her bacon by putting it on bread. My son, however, does not like bacon for lunch. He wants pastrami on “crusty bread” with dijon mustard. I often ruin his pastrami by putting it on non-crusty bread because, “Wake up kid! This isn’t France and I don’t have fresh baguettes every morning!” I like panang curry with fried tofu for lunch but nobody ever asks me.

The semi truck drops Callie off in an unknown city and she approaches a diner called “Cafe Mike” and I spend several minutes wondering if there is significance to the name since Mike the Dad was just in the kitchen. So many Mikes cooking!

We then visit the halls of the Anchor Beach school for beautiful but angst-ridden youth. Mariana is in English class and we know this because of the giant F. Scott Fitzgerald quote scrawled on the blackboard. The swarthy teacher that forced Callie to journal lo those months ago tells Mariana she needs a new partner for her Gatsby project. Marianna says she thought she was doing it with Lexi and I say I thought Lexi was doing it with Jesus. Then, I realize that’s not the kind of “doing it” they are talking about. Bottom line, Lexi is not returning to school.

At Cafe Mike, Callie is having the worst job interview ever. The guy interviewing her tells her that he has a daughter her age and if she were alone on the streets, he would hope someone would tell her what he’s about to tell her, “Go home.” Mike, if that is your real name, I like you.

A good Mike with good advice.

Stef and Lena are driving around looking for Callie and they have all the glassware from the wedding rattling around in the back of their SUV. Rattling glassware is so relaxing. They are bickering and the dialogue is stilted but in that way that feels real and this is what the show does so well. They really do show Stef and Lena’s relationship as perfectly imperfect. They argue about who’s right and how they have handled things so far and the glasses rattle and I think this is the worst honeymoon ever. Then, Stef pulls the car over, pops the back of the car open, takes out the crates of glasses and leaves them on the side of the road and I think two things:

1. Thank god. Those glasses were driving me crazy.

2. Stef in that plaid shirt is quite pleasing to the eye.

Digression 6: I don’t look at tweets about the show until after I’ve already watched and done my notes so that my recap isn’t influenced. This morning, I peeked and saw the following tweet from Sherri Saum:

agggghh I hate fighting with #myteripolo ! how could I be mad at her in that flannel shirt? @TheFostersABCF

— Sherri Saum (@SherriSaum1) January 14, 2014

We are as one.

Relationships are no picnic… but wait! Maybe they are! Mariana prepared an actual picnic for Lexi and Jesus as a going away present for Lexi and, with that, my favorite love triangle comes to an end. Lexi tells Jesus that they are moving to Honduras and she won’t be back. He promises to wait for her forever so I wonder who his love interest will be next week.

Later, in the Great Lesbian Kitchen, Mike and the kids are having pizza and he gets a call from Stef who tells him that Callie took off again. Jude gives Brandon a death glare.

Back in the mobile hot spot of lesbian processing, Lena and Stef talk about how different they are and Lena says they balance each other out. Stef says that maybe they were both wrong about Callie.

Back at the house, Jude is crying in his room and Brandon says, “She didn’t run away with Wyatt. She ran away from me.” Yes, Brandon. Thank you for finally sorting that out. Brandon apologizes to Jude who then admits that he told her that she ruins everything. Brandon tells Jude it’s not his fault and there are hugs all around and peace rains down on them. I try to let go of my grudge against both of them.

Callie wanders the streets and it’s dark and I’m all out of jelly bellies. She stops outside a convenience store and sees some girls wearing short shorts leaning into a dark, mysterious car and she knows they are not giving directions to lost tourists. A young woman asks Callie if she’s looking for the shelter and offers Callie a place to stay. Callie asks to use her phone and I think she’s calling Stef and Lena but she calls the Lompoc Federal Prison and finds out her dad was released a year ago. She then goes into the store, grabs a sandwich and starts eating it. The owner tells her she has to pay for it and she tells him she has no money. She then opens a can of pop and takes a swig and the owner warns her again. Then, she takes a candy bar and opens it and he tells her if she takes a bite, he’ll call the cops. She stares at him and takes a bite and he makes the call. The entire scene is desperate, hopeless and perfect.

In search of something more than jelly bellies.

Overall impression: The episode felt sluggish but I understand that, in some ways, it had a lot of work to do to set up the episodes to come.

Favorite line: The young woman outside the convenience stores says to Callie, “I used to be you.” Heartbreaking and real.

Really? Did they have to do that?: I got nothing. That’s got to be a good sign, right?

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