The Comment Awards Can’t Sit Properly

Hi, kittens! Have I mentioned lately that I love you?

This week, KaeLyn navigated Baby T-Rex’s instincts to do some dancing on her own.

Happy Hannukkah! Ari made vegan sufganiyot that look AMAZING.

This is perfect, Heather is a gift to us all: 15 Sad Christmas Songs, Ranked on a Scale of 1 to 5 Crying Therese Belivets.

Courtney’s here to help you host a sex party!

This is entirely relevant to your interests. Merry Butchmas, pals!

Foolish Child is back, with some HIGHLY CONTROVERSIAL views. Missed you, Dickens!

Everyone is gay.

And then then there were your comments!


On 15 Sad Christmas Songs, Ranked on a Scale of 1 to 5 Crying Therese Belivets

The Flung Out of Space Award to Amanda ling:

JUST WHEN I WAS READY TO COMMENT ON HOW PERFECT CRYING THERESE BELIVETS ARE AS A UNIT OF MEASUREMENT, THERE THEY WERE, THE FURIOUS THERESE BELIVETS

On Also.Also.Also: “Where We’re Going, We Don’t Need Chairs” -Bisexuals:

The C Word Award to Iarran Mé:

The chairs thing! THE CHAIRS THING. All my life. Sideways. Half-slid-out. One leg tucked under. Cross-legged. Upside down on the couch. She said, writing on her laptop sitting crosslegged on a bed because she does not chair like a normal person.

On “The Favourite” Review: Rachel Weisz and Emma Stone Out-Gay Each Other in Twisted Majesty:

The Tinder Bio Award to Snaelle and Emerson:

Here for lesbian movies about duck racing, politics and other indoor sports. / Emerson: I want to use this as my bio on all my social media profiles and my tombstone tbh

On Find Your Fit: The Non-binary Queer Ready to Be a Femme Daddy:

The Cara Mia Award to ClariceStarling:

Damn…I never had a term for the style that I sometimes aspire to have, but Femme Daddy it is (Especially female Gomez Addams). And these styles…*cries in broke queer student*

On Merry Butchmas: Cozy Holiday Cocktails and the Hot Butch Looks to Sip Them In:

The Apple Butter Butch Award to Ása Guðmundsdóttir:

As a Taurus I feel so called out right now. Can’t believe I am currently wearing the last look. / Mika: Thank YOU for validating my Taurus call out I was waiting for it, patiently A Butchmas Miracle

And on Foolish Child #34: Foolish Child Returns!

The Gayest Agenda Award to Gem:

I’ve never actually met anyone who doesn’t like pineapple on pizza. Perhaps they are myth perpetuated by capitalism, just like heterosexuality?

And the Sweetest Top Award to Deli Twotone and Snaelle:

Maybe Autostraddle could start a series like Poly Pocket to explore the world of pizza-toppings. The series would be called… ? / Snaelle: Pizzas: How do you like to top?


See a comment that needs to be here? E-mail me! Queergirlblogs [at] gmail.com.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!

Darcy

Darcy, a.k.a. Queer Girl, is your number one fan. They're a fat feminist from California who doodles hearts in the corners of their Gay Agenda. They're living through a pandemic, they're on Twitter, and they think you should drink more water! They also wanna make you laugh.

Darcy has written 376 articles for us.

27 Comments

  1. :raises hand: mythical creature who hates pineapple on pizza here! Pepperoni only thanks! (although to be fair, I have a pineapple aversion generally – I can’t even touch a whole fresh one :shudders:)

      • I just had to google SpongeBob to get what you were referring to! But, the answer is definitely a refusal!

        I have this real aversion to textures when it comes to fruit – I hate kiwi fruit as well because of their fuzziness.

  2. So apparently if I want to write erotic/romantic fiction to appeal to a certain portion of AS readers, it needs to be something like…

    “I gasped. There she sat. I’d never seen her before, but I knew she was The One. Hair cut to just above shoulder length, she lounged elegantly sideways in her chair, nibbling the pineapple suggestively off her pizza. She raised an eyebrow at my gobsmacked expression. ‘Can I…can I bi you another slice?’ I hazarded.

    “‘No,’ she said, but at the crust-fallen look on my face, relented. ‘But perhaps you’d care to recline upside-down in this chair next to me and tell me about your small dog.'”

    Woo woo!

    • Honestly here for female Gomez Addams’….actually an entire queer female/nb Addams family portrait would make my over-dramatic heart go pitter-patter-splatter * siiiigh *

    • Right? I saw my quote about the chair thing on the front page and I was like whoa I’m famous! Gotta put these comment awards on my c.v. Huzzah to all the other comment award winners and the AS writers whose work inspired us. :)

  3. Thank you QG, as always. I had no idea how much I’d missed this week on AS. Working in a busy office has cut down significantly on my AS reading. (But having more structure has significantly improved my mental health, so I’m not too mad.)

    And OMG, that bi chair link!?!

    I’m bi and here I am, sitting cross legged on the couch.

    I have never, ever thought of myself as not being able to chair though. I guess I just assumed everyone sits like this. Even though I haven’t observed it. Hmmm. Much like 14 year old me assumed that all of my female friends must be checking out the girls’ butts as well as the boys and just not talking about it.

  4. I was gunna reply Iarrann Mé’s comment with this one time I talk about too much on here about how my little shit teen self was censured about the open legged way I was sitting(still sit) and in response I spread my legs as far as my hypermobile-quit-ballet only a couple months ago self could in that chair.
    It was one of those waiting room style chairs so it was pretty much a spit with bent knees looped over the arms. Any time I’m in “deeply practical men’s pants” I feel the aura of that power move the little shit 14 year old me was.

    If there hadn’t been any adults in the room I might have given her a double barrel bird posed from between my legs.

    Anyway my “abnormal sitting” went queer as in fuck you direction for a formative moment once in my teenhood.

    I think I keep talking about it because the idea that my legs not being closed being viewed some kind of obscene, a permanent sexual connotation made me confrontationally angry as puberty began and I spent less time in the ballet world and more time in mixed sex spaces at school.

    Like I felt breasts were claimed by the world and could never belong to me, HOW DARE they try to take legs from me too. Fuck that nah uh.

    I’m with the wordy reflective thoughts this evening. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    • Hi Lex, I’m decades older than you but remember the same feelings and I’m pleased to remember, the same result with a similar chair. Gee, that went over well in the early sixties.
      I’d do it again now if I could still stretch my hips that far. Thanks to ballet though, I can still almost get there.

  5. Hey all,
    Spectacularly late with my grateful acknowledgement of QG’s impeccable awards show. Thanks to all of the Straddlers, your separate and collective splendour never ceases to amaze and inspire me.

    LOL can you just imagine if these were actual awards ? That we had to “sit” in an amphitheatre for ? AND get called out for ? I’m here for Femme Daddy ushers.

  6. HELLO DOVES I WAS OUT OF TOWN FOR THE WEEKEND BUT I WANTED TO SAY THAT I SEE AND LOVE ALL YOUR COMMENTS AS ALWAYS <3 <3 <3

Comments are closed.