Letter From Your Editors

Hello lions, tigers and bears!

It’s me, Riese, your favorite high-speed rail. I’ve gotten less than four hours of sleep for three consecutive days, which means my brain has fallen out of my ears. Once upon a time I was very young and could pull this kind of thing off. But then you grow up and research under-eye cream and everything changes.

But you know what makes me happy? SEEING THE HAPPY FACES OF MY AUTOSTRADDLE TEAM MEMBERS!!! Look at them:

This month has been a thrilling joy-ride consisting of so much accounting and forms and forms and numbers and forms and I haven’t even started doing our 2015 taxes yet! But, I am so pleased that this year, finally, all the virtual paperwork is in order to pay Laneia, Rachel, Heather and Yvonne as employees rather than as independent contractors, a switch we elected to make to lessen their tax burden and make their taxes simpler. It’s an expensive choice but it’s more than worth it, and nothing will change w/r/t unlimited paid vacation, sick days, and overall compassion/understanding for their existence as human beings. Thank you for making it possible.

Our next A-Camp registration opens on February 1st, so I’ve been doing a lot of preparation for that, as well as finishing up the recamps. We’re so excited about our next session!

We hope you’ve enjoyed this month’s A+ content: my epic 2015 By The Numbers, Some Answers To Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us #5, and Alaina’s interview with her Ex, Holden. Stay tuned for a special surprise coming in the next few weeks! (Did I say that last time? This time I really mean it.)

Love,

Riese / Laneia / Rachel / Yvonne / Heather

---

Top 10 Most Popular Posts From December 2015

These posts written in December 2015 were hella popular this month.

1. Top 11 Times This Year Pop Culture Reminded Us Kids Are Queer and Trans Too, by Mey Rude
2. The Best and Worst LGBT TV Characters of 2015, by The Team
3. Top Ten Stud and Butch Crushes of 2015, by Lyn Muldrow
4. 21 Women Who Came Out Or Got Girlfriends in 2015, by Riese Bernard
5. Top Ten Queer and Feminist Books of 2015, by Carolyn Yates
6. Satellite of Love: Queer Horoscopes for December 2015, by Corrina
7. Top 9 Celeb Couples of 2015: The Gal Pals That Made Our Year, by Stef Schwartz
8. NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Will Kiss You In The Snow, by Carolyn Yates
9. Team Autostraddle’s Ultimate Holiday Gift Guide 2015, by The Team
10. NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday Has A Hand On Your Thigh Under the Table, by Carolyn Yates

---

Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Yvonne: I’ll be here shortly! My mom sent me to get groceries and I’m returning home
Laneia: Oh my God you’ve already left your house and are on your way back home
I’ve only had one cup of coffee

---

Alaina: Hi! Carol leaked today.
Stef: I haven’t seen it yet but I can’t stop thinking about an alternative version featuring the lady from the post office from that one Broad City episode called “Garol,” I think it would be really something.

Raquel: omg ^ here for this
Heather: I have a slack alert for “HH” cause a lot of people call me that, and so I got an alert for this photo because the URL has an HH in it and I was like, “Yes, this is an accurate photo of elderly Heather Hogan watching television”

---

Rachel: I think I had a sex dream about Sharon Stone after seeing Basic Instinct for the first time and now I think I am going to be excommunicated from bisexuality
Heather: It’ll be our secret
the internet doesn’t need to know everything

---

Laneia: My kingdom for a post about an episode of television that could be published the day after the episode airs
Heather: Laneia I am going to make your kingdom dreams come true in 2016. I really am. I have been thinking of little else but those dreams since the beginning of December.
Laneia: !!
Heather: When I return from Michigan, right when TV is ready to open its gates again, I am going to be ready with a plan, which I will present to you, lovingly.
Laneia: I LOVE PLANS PRESENTED LOVINGLY
Heather: Also let’s just all pray Emily doesn’t sleep with a man on the PLL time jump winter premiere next week. let’s just all hold hands and light some candles and pray.
Laneia: I will add that to my prayer sheet

---

Heather: UPDATE on The Fosters moms being in actual real life love

Yvonne: OMFG
Heather: I believe they are in real life love Yvonne
Yvonne: That’s the gayest picture i’ve ever seen
Laneia: Oh my god
Oh my goodness gracious
Heather: I’ve got another one of them basically making out on set on a day they were there for a random table read and had no reason to be in bed together
Yvonne: The blonde one looks like my former boss
Laneia: She looks like taylor!
Yvonne: That too
Laneia: These are mischief love faces if I’ve ever seen them
Heather: And Terri Polo keeps tweeting about how Carol is the best movie ever made
Okay, and I do too, and the reason is: I am gay

---

Maddie: Kaelyn, having a dress-up and hang out and GO BOWLING component of a job interview sounds like one of the most stressful things possible, but I can’t really think of anyone I have more confidence in to be able to execute it flawlessly
Kaelyn: They are providing sweatbands and glitter
EVERYONE WILL LOVE ME
that is the mantra I am putting into the universe
Maddie: They will
afterwards they’ll be like, “I hope we were cool enough that she wants to work with us.”
Kaelyn: I mean, on the other hand, I definitely want to work for a repro justice/abortion access org that puts on 80’s bowling night fundraisers for abortion funds.
I’ve never been asked to wear glitter at work before. I just did it for free.

---

Heather: Sometimes I worry my life is never going to get better than those five days Cate Blanchett was a lesbian
and I spent all that time thinking she’d made out with Gillian Anderson

---

Riese: I can’t wait for y’all to commmeee oveerrrrrr to our new place!
Laneia: I’m so excited for this new world
Rachel: Can I come over right now?
Riese: Yes that would be wonderful Rachel
it’s only a matter of time until you will be birthing twins in my bathtub!
Rachel: Is there a signup sheet for that or what
Riese: I assume when you arrive on January 6th you will go straight to the bathtub to birth
Laneia: So many twins
what if you just kept them and dressed them in animal outfits
Riese: I think that would play well on insta
Rachel: Buzzfeed LGBT could write “how this one woman is bringing queer parenting representation to anne geddes calendars”
Riese: Yes I hope the article would be written entirely in 24 point text
Rachel: Gonna bring things full circle and dress the twins up as Tardigrades so Stef will write a piece about them
Riese: Perfect

---

Laneia: I love muting people on Tweetdeck!!!!!
If someone asked me one of my favorite pastimes I’d say “oh that’s easy: muting people on Tweetdeck” and then I’d smile and smile and smile
Heather: hahaha!
I love that too!
and it’s extra thrilling when it escalates to blocking
Rachel: Sometimes I think about the people I’ve muted even when I’m not on the computer and feel at peace
Laneia: Sometimes I think about the first person I ever blocked and wonder what she’s up to
Rachel: I like to imagine my ex asking what I thought of something he tweeted and then saying “Oh I never saw that, you’re muted”

---

Rachel: Heather you have conquered the internet so thoroughly today!
Heather: Rachel, thank you!
Rachel: Yesterday was so awful and then you rose from the ashes of it and beat the internet so soundly
Riese: You have!
You did!
Heather: And now I am going to ride my stationary bike and watch The Fosters screener and know in my heart that Teri and Sherri are doing it in real life
thank you for being the best bosses in the world!
Rachel: They totally are
I’m going to make you an asmr video that’s like tapping on an Altoids tin and whispering “Teri and Sherri are doing it in real life”

---

Carmen: I think the third time is supposed to be the charm right?
Hey, You Guys, It Is Now ‘Anti-Feminist’ to Say Feminists Are ‘Not All Lesbians’: Carmen Rios (@carmenriosss) has described how she “became a women’s studies major and a raging lesbian feminist in college.” 
OTHER MCCAIN LET ME LIVE IN PEACE
Audrey: It is amazing how much he can quote you while simultaneously saying you said things you didn’t say.
Maddie: I like how he only refers to you using first AND last name
Stef: Exactly what purpose do these males serve in the lives of feminist women?
Carmen: Yes because when have I ever said women in relationships with each other should shape their entire lives around each other
this dude has clearly never watched stef and I talk shit about anyone
He’s so OBSESSED WITH ME though like that’
That is the weird and creepy part
This dude like follows my work, follows me on twitter, watches me, writes about me, MEANWHILE I DON’T EVEN HAVE A WHOLE LOT OF FANS WILLING TO DO THE SAME
It crushes me
Stef: He wants to serve a purpose in your life :(
but he doesn’t know what
Carmen: I wanted fame, not conservative infamy, jeez
although infamy has been fun so far
Stef: notoriety
Carmen: Also now i have to find a good Justin Bieber gif FOR EVERY SINGLE HATER tweeting at me right nowUGH
Stef: That is the purpose men serve to you
Well, jb anyway
Carmen: I like to think jb would consider it very high honor
that, and also how many pics of him I’ve pinned to a board called “#summervibe”

---

---

Meet A New Contributor!

Get to know some of our newest Staff Writers.

Maree Hamilton, Staff Writer

Twitter: MareeJHamilton
Instagram: mareesea

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
The monkey covering its mouth (speak no evil?!).

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
ALL THE SANDWICHES. Actually it’s probably a tie: grilled cheese with goat cheese, gouda, bacon and tomatoes or bacon, egg and cheese on an everything bagel (I like bacon) (I’m sorry).

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
Oooooh it wasn’t even my date but when I worked as a waitress at PF Chang’s there was this policy that we had to wrap up leftovers while standing right there at the table. I’d been serving this couple that was obviously in the process of breaking up and so as soon as their food got to the table I had to stand there and wrap it all up while the guy was crying into his hands and the girl was trying to make awkward, casual conversation with me.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
Jane from Daria. Does she count? Her voice killed me and still does.

What’s your favorite thing on the internet today?
My mom always sends me videos from the Cracked After Hours series about Star Wars and Lord of the Rings fan theories and they are hilarious and the best part of my day. Also, this.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
I have finally, at the age of twenty-eight, figured out my correct bra size. Smaller cup, bigger band. Boom.

Erin Sullivan, Staff Writer

Twitter: sullivem
Instagram: active_senior_
Tumblr: hicatie

If you could only use one emoji for the rest of your life, what would it be?
I feel a strong connection to air horns anyway, so the air horn emoji. Interestingly enough second place would go to the mute emoji.

What is your favorite kind of sandwich?
A faux BLT! Hey, if you want to make this with tempeh marinated in liquid smoke, maple syrup, paprika, and soy sauce or you just want to use pre-made meatless bacon strips, I’m going to love it either way.

Describe the worst date you’ve ever been on.
Oh, I had a date once that was your classic “great on the internet” but “very bad in real life” chemistry story. Usually I can rally and maneuver my way through most social scenarios, but not that night. I actually couldn’t believe it as it was happening. It was like throwing a tennis ball at a wall and expecting it to bounce back but against all odds it gets stuck in the bricks. So then you throw another one and the same thing happens. After that happens like five times you’re like, “Why am I doing this?” and you leave the bar when you say you’re going to the bathroom.

Who was your first woman celebrity crush?
As a child I remember this very foreign feeling that I now realize was aching the first time I saw Batman Returns when Michelle Pfiffer comes home and trashes her entire apartment. I don’t know, there’s probably a lot to unpack there!

What’s your favorite thing on the internet today?
This is really predictable of me, but Lala the penguin who goes shopping while wearing a penguin backpack has had me bugging since I saw it this morning.

What’s something you’ve been really proud of lately?
Working with Autostraddle has been pretty special. Everyone works so hard and so well together it’s almost infuriating!

---

---

ELLEN PAGE READS AUTOSTRADDLE

Hi it’s me, Riese. This month, Ellen Page read an article that I wrote with the assistance of Heather Hogan! Heather Hogan helped me make the article, that is, she didn’t help Ellen Page read it. BUT WHAT IF SHE HAD? Anyhow, I know that Ellen Page read my article because I was scrolling through my Instagram and was like, “oh hey, who posted that ‘cap from my article?” and then I was like OH, ELLEN PAGE DID. Then everybody I knew told me about it.

Anyhow, here’s how that article happened:

Heather: oh man, this hillary clinton slate article is speeecciiialll. the internet is going to lose its fucking mind.
Riese: oh wow
should i do like hilary clinton’s most lesbianish outfits of all time
Heather: absolutely
it will kill
hahaha, twitter is already so mad!
bowie died for our sins and the world spins madly on
or we could photoshop her into all of our merch
Rachel: maybe we can get jobs as consultants advising other straight female politicians on how to dress more like lesbians
Riese: maybe if i did that people would just be angrier and it would seem derivative from slutty power lesbian?
Heather: there has to be a way to make the funniest post in the world about this, and quickly
Riese: won’t people be mad at us ‘cause they’re mad at the article
Top 10 Power Lesbians Who Dress Like Power Lesbians
Rachel: i think there’s a way to write a funny post about it that isn’t taking a stance on the  article
Riese: Top 10 Power Lesbian Politicians Who Dress Like Power Lesbian Politicians
since between this and j-law
or i could do top ten hillary clinton fashion icons where i put images of clinton next to actual lesbians wearing the same outfit?
Heather: oh man, ten times ted cruz dressed just like ellen page.
Riese: !!!!
top 10 politicians also influenced by lesbian style
Heather: yes
Rachel: we could recommend lesbian outfits for the other candidates
like a casual brunch outfit for bernie sanders
Riese: oh i don’t think we have to
i think we can find pictures of politicians wearing the same outfit a lesbian has worn
and slap ‘em next to each other
and put them on the internet
heather i can help find pics and upload them here and write about them if you can make the graphics
Heather: omg this post is gonna be so good

---

What We’ve Been Reading

Carolyn: The Complete Stories by Clarice Lispector

Heather: The Long Way to a Small, Angry Planet by Becky Chambers

Carmen: Anywhere But Here by Mona Simpson and Tiny Beautiful Things: Advice on Love and Life from Dear Sugar by Cheryl Strayed

Laura: Black Tickets: Stories by Jayne Anne Phillips

Chelsey: The Witches: Salem, 1692 by Stacy Schiff

Kayla: Wishful Drinking by Carrie Fisher

Aja: Saga, Volumes 4 & 5 by Fiona Staples and Brian K. Vaughan

Maree: The Liars’ Club by Mary Karr

Maddie: A Girl Named Zippy by Haven Kimmel and Dirty River: A Queer Femme of Color Dreaming Her Way Home by Leah Lakshmi Piepznia-Samarasinha

Alaina: Transgender History by Susan Stryker

Isabel: At Large and At Small: Familiar Essays by Anne Fadiman

Stef: Literal Madness by Kathy Acker

Mey: Women Who Run With the Wolves by Clarissa Pinkola Estés

Aisha: Mothers by Rachel Zucker

KaeLyn: Juliet Takes a Breathe by Muthafucking Gabby Rivera

Erin: The Tarot by Brad Steiger

Rachel: The Will of the Empress by Tamora Pierce

Yvonne: Aimee & Jaguar: A Love Story, Berlin 1943 by Erica Fischer

Cameron: Step Aside, Pops: A Hark! A Vagrant Collection by Kate Beaton

Trent: Year of Yes by Shonda Rhimes

Gabby: This Bridge Called My Back: Writings by Radical Women of Color 2nd Edition by Cherrie Moraga, Gloria Anzaldua, and Toni Cade Bambara

Brittani: Alexander Hamilton by Ron Chernow

Laneia: The Sound of a Wild Snail Eating by Elisabeth Tova Bailey

Riese: The Mare by Mary Gaitskill

---

---

Mini-Interview With a Senior Staff Member: Laneia

What do you do in your job at Autostraddle?
Erm I’m always so self-conscious about this because my job sounds simple but often takes a million years?? And then I’m like, does it only take a million years because I’m just terrible at it? Or is it legit a complicated, time-consuming job? WHO KNOWS. Anyway, I do a few things! One of them is creating and organizing the editorial calendar, both short-term and long-term. So like, the big picture stuff, trying to balance the different types of content and make sure that the vibe of AS is strong and what we want, and then constantly looking for what we’re missing. I oversee and coordinate some of the larger editorial projects, like the Get Out There series or Day in the Life or this upcoming column from Carrie Wade that’s going to be amazing. I put valiant effort into staying on top of what our team is doing, talking with them about pitches and other cool things they want to do, and then I do my best to help them achieve those cool-thing goals.

I also act as the middlewoman between the people who want to write things for AS, the editors who want the things written, and the readers. Nearly all of the outside submissions come to me first, so I ​go through those and liaise the ones we want. This can mean anything/everything from approving series outlines, feedbacking pitches like a small beast, deadlining like a medium-sized dictator, assigning writers to one of our brilliant editors, finding illustrators for finished pieces, getting them on the editorial calendar, getting them paid (I mean, Riese literally pays them, I send them to the invoice), and hopefully making sure the whole experience is chill and fun for everyone involved.

And all of this is done in serious collaboration with Riese, Rachel, Yvonne and Heather and all of our kickass subject editors, obviously. We’re in constant communication and feed off of each other and work together to take idea nuggets and turn them into super cool idea castles, or whatever comes after nuggets. You know what I mean.

The short answer is that I’m always writing in calendars and emailing people and telling people how pretty and smart they are while I boss them around about deadlines.

What is your favorite part of this position?
Getting to read people’s submissions and pitches. It’s truly an honor to be trusted with someone’s guts like that, and sometimes we’ll get submissions that just blow my entire mind with how much I love them. Remember Amber Edmonson’s piece about living in/leaving rural Michigan? I yelled out loud in my living room when I read that submission! It’s just wild as fuck that I get to be on the receiving end of that moment when a writer decides they have something to say, and that they want to say it to us. It just blows my mind, seriously.

What is something you dream to bring to Autostraddle?
I continue to be obsessed with the idea of having teen columnists. Our demographic is technically 18+, but I know we have a younger teen audience and I think it would be AMAZING to give them a column/s aimed squarely at their experience and written by an actual queer teen. I also really want to get started on that Sissy Spacek appreciation zine that I’m hoping to write with Ellen Page.

What’s the hardest part of your position?
My time management leaves so very much to be desired, which means the hardest part of my job is doing enough of it when I’m supposed to be doing it so I can then NOT be doing it when I need to do other things, like feed my weird children or go to the dentist. I’m really good at losing a couple of hours because I got caught up in a tangential aspect of a project instead of making real progress, so I end up still working on it at 7pm while I make dinner and then I burn the macaroni and cheese, like tonight for example.

Favorite online writer/editor / or like your hero?
Um, probably these genius motherfuckers I work with every day? I know that comes off as an insular easy answer but it’s true. These people inspire me and hold me accountable and help me do the things I’m passionate about, one way or another. Hero-wise, I keep finding new strength from my grandmother Elsie. Without turning this into The Mema Show, I just want to say that she did not take shit from anyone, she was the first in her family to graduate high school, and somehow maintained a balance between selflessness and self-care that I’m just now able to begin to wrap my head around. Hero.

What do you wish people understood about your job?
Hahahahahahahaaaahahaaaa! Oh how this question makes me chortle and lift my face to the sky! Two things spring to mind: 1) Though there is certainly nothing wrong with being a blogger, I am in fact not one. (Thanks though, Mom!) 2) If I’m looking at a computer screen and you’re talking to me, I’m not listening to you. I am literally incapable of hearing you. You might as well be whispering to me from the actual moon, I cannot hear you.

Favorite snack to eat while working?
I like to eat enormous salads while I work. I’ll fill a mixing bowl with a mix of spring greens and spinach, toss it with this ginger vinaigrette, and top it with tomatoes, baked tofu, toasted pecans, and more mushrooms than a person should really eat in a day, then I crawl into my chair and eat and eat and eat this salad for like half an hour while I go through emails and make notes to myself in my planner. It’s ENLIVENING, seriously. I have never felt older or more boring than I do right now, in this moment.

What would be the song that a montage of you doing your job would be set to?​
Well that depends on what kind of day it is. So, either “Sylvia” by The Antlers, or “Short Skirt / Long Jacket” by Cake.

---

SLACKERS

Slackbot is Slack’s built-in robot. He keeps notes for you (and now that we have a paid Slack account, he can keep LIMITLESS NOTES for us), and he helps you keep your private files and stuff organized. He also pops his head into every conversation if someone says his name and responds with an emoji. He’s got a real bad temper, though. Here’s a conversation I had with him just today when I was trying to demonstrate how he works for you.

Sheesh!

---

January Retro-Reading

Some posts from previous Januarys Riese thinks you might enjoy.

What Are The Top Ten Albums You Can’t Live Without? By Emily Choo (2010) – I miss Emily Choo every day! Anyhow, Emily talks about her favorite albums, and a bunch of us talk about our favorite albums, and I think I would still stand behind like 50% of my answers.

The 21 Most Lesbianish Cities in the US: The Autostraddle Guide, by the Team (2012) – I promise you that you will disagree with a hearty portion of this list. I guarantee it! But you know, in some small way, it felt accurate at the time.

You Know You’re A Queer Catholic School Survivor If…, by Kate Severance (2013) – This’ll hit you right in the memory-box if you can relate to the title of this article.

Listling Without Commentary: Selected Email Subject Lines Sent From Riese to Laneia Between 2009 and 2011, by Laneia (2011) – This is important, re: Behind-the-Scenes.

Julie and Brandy In Your Box Office: The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo and Fries, by Julie & Brandy (edited by Riese) (2012) –  This is one of the best episodes of IYBO, I think. Julie and Brandy are legit famous now on The People’s Couch, so it’s been verified by THE PEOPLE that they are stars.

---

Alumni Newsletter

Cara Giaimo, Contributing Ed Class Of 2012-2014, Former More-Than-Wordsmith

What are you doing without us?
Still writing! Currently a Staff Writer at Atlas Obscura, your one-stop shop for the kind of history, science & geography stories you won’t get anywhere else. I write a column called Naturecultures and do strange deep dives into, for example, cops & doughnuts, seed vaults, and wildlife cameras. Also biking the mean streets, hanging with my cool girlfriend, etc.

What do you miss the most about me?
The whole team’s willingness to ask personal/emotional questions via email, and the A-Camp Family Band.

Would you invite us to your wedding, yes or no?
“no”* – Brittani Nichols

(*yes)

---

Five Posts Rachel Can’t Believe You Motherf*ckers Didn’t Read Last Month

215 of the Best Longreads of 2015, All Written by Women, curated by Riese

Do y’all even understand what a big deal this is? Good gravy this is incredible! I spend a lot of my time looking for, reading and thinking about longform journalism and once you start to notice how white and male the bylines consistently are, it haunts you — the making of these kinds of stories is long and tedious and expensive, and it’s hard to get leave from an editor to work on just one story (primarily) for six or eight or twelve months, and many women don’t get that leave. But people are doing incredible work, women are doing incredible work, and if you haven’t already looked at it this list is gonna make you feel like you woke up and everything in your house turned to gold.

Violence and Visibility: Transgender Women on TV in 2015, by Mey and Heather

It was impossible to get away from trend piece headlines declaring that 2015 was the “transgender moment” in regards to TV and movies, and headlines about trans women of color being brutally murdered were just as prevalent — or worse, not, because their stories weren’t really being widely covered. Mey and Heather worked SO hard and for so long on this piece that talks about the year that we saw both of these things happening, and you really need to read it!

We’re All Reading Juliet Takes a Breath, by Yvonne

Gabby’s been one of the most brilliant and beloved writers at Autostraddle and elsewhere for so many years now, and it’s because her brain and her pen are one of a kind. We’re all so blessed to be able to read her writing in a BOOK about coming of age and trying to figure out lesbian identity and white feminism and family and challenging kinds of love, and we’re all gonna read it and talk about it on February 10! So you had better HOP TO IT so you can join the discussion then!

Don’t Date Anyone Who Treats You Like Shit: An Interview with Leah Lakshmi Piepzna-Samarasinha, by Kai Cheng Thom

I’ve been really excited about Leah’s book and so I was excited to read this interview, and then was totally bowled over and thrilled when it was much more than a straight interview and was a beautiful and heart-thrashing essay from Kai about femme identity and finding chosen family and hard truths and what Leah’s writing has meant to her. Ugh you’re gonna be so mad you didn’t read this earlier.

If I’m Queer but I’m A Preacher, Maybe He’ll Love Me by Alaina

Parents are so hard and there’s no language for it; we could all write encyclopedia-length books about our parents and not cover it all, but what Alaina has done in this essay with just a couple thousand words is truly special and I’m so grateful that she shared it with us. Go read it right now! I’m serious!

---

Laneia’s Pick of the Month: Passion Planners

So I’m obsessed with my Passion Planner and I think you might also want to get one. I wish it didn’t have the word ‘passion’ in its name because it makes me feel weird when I talk to you about it, but never mind that because this planner is the tits, and here’s why: it lets you organize your to-do lists/appointments, and your feelings. See there are pages at the beginning of each new month where you essentially process all your feelings about last month, and then analyze them to help you figure out what you can do to make the next month successful. There’s also this [kind of overwhelming] mind-mapping section at the beginning of the planner where you get your goals and dreams out of your brain and onto paper, so you can break them down into smaller, more manageable tasks. It’s called a Passion Roadmap, ok? You’ll love it. The weekly spreads have room for to-do/priority lists, plus a pretty giant section that’s totally blank and ready for whatever. I use the blank section for my many, many post-it notes, which is especially handy because I can move them around and even into the following week if I need to. I like the 8.5 x 11 Academic Classic version, because even though I haven’t been in school for um, a while, my years still follow an academic schedule because I have these wacky kids.

Maybe the best part of the planner is how it’s soft and bendy, so that every time you pick it up it’s sort of like holding the book-form of a stress ball, if that makes sense. I don’t know, I never really stopped to consider the importance of a planner’s tactile experience, but this one’s changed that forever. Sometimes I just pick it up and flop it around in my hands because I love it so.

You should follow Passion Planner on instagram and look out for their frequent 50% off sales!

---

---

Social Media Spotlight

Rachel has been tirelessly covering this circus of presidential primary debates for you, but did you know some of her best commentary is on Twitter during the debates? It’s true. You should follow her.

Are five Miller high lifes – the only booze in the house – going to be enough to get through both these debates

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 14, 2016

chris christie is a Batman villain for our times

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 15, 2016

this is so petty! is this why y’all watch reality television? it’s fun!

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 15, 2016

both this question and answer are such a rollercoaster ride, i need to lie down

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 15, 2016

i am truly excited for ben carson’s platform based on cleaning up internet comment sections, this is relevant to my interests

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 15, 2016

did jeb just say “if you commit a crime with a gun in FL, you’re going away?” bc i can think of… a notable case… where that did not happen?

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 15, 2016

can’t wait for the criminal minds episode i will watch after this, which is looking very soothing in comparison

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 15, 2016

i know o’malley is all of y’all’s hot dad but his eyebrows are weird, sorry

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 18, 2016

i feel like hillary would be the person who takes splitting the brunch bill SUPER seriously

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 18, 2016

sometimes bernie gets kind of a mitch hedberg inflection going when he talks

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 18, 2016

what if, instead of having a debate tomorrow, we… didn’t. just an idea

— Rachel (@danascullyirl) January 27, 2016

---

Micro Puppy

Laneia: GOOD MORNING
Heather: GOOOOOOD MORNING! how is your micro puppy you dreamed about?
Laneia: OMG HEATHER SHE WAS SO CUTE
AND SHE LOVED ME
Heather: my heart is so full just thinking about her
did you name her?
Laneia: No I agreed to adopt her and everyone was so excited and then she kept being lost! And the porch was full of people and i was like IF SOMEONE STEPS ON MY MICRO PUPPY I’M GOING TO KILL THEM
and I was fully prepared for murder
Heather: I love you
I would participate in the murder too
Laneia: I ate part of a pot cookie and started watching Steven Universe last night, all of which I’m pretty sure had something to do with my micro puppy
Heather: oh man, if you had been like, “Heather I am going to eat a pot cookie and watch Steven Universe, what do you think will happen?” I would 100 percent have been like: micro puppy.
Laneia: Hands down
Heather: What color was she?
Laneia: White!
Heather: !
Like a teensy little falcor!
Laneia: If I was nine yrs old and therefore had more time on my hands I would be writing a story about this
Yvonne: y’all I had a dream about [writer], that she came to speak in the class I was in and then I left the classroom for some reason and then the class moved to a different location and I never heard [writer] speak
Laneia: Damn that is not as fun as a lost micro puppy
Poor dream Yvonne!
Yvonne: Are micro puppies real?
Laneia: Sadly no

---

XOXO Team Autostraddle