Letter From Your Editors
Nothing says fall like wearing denim and so here we are! Wearing jeans instead of sweatpants like we’re fancy.

1st: Vanessa // Sarah // Laneia // Heather
2nd: Shelli // Carmen // YDY FUNDRAISER TOTE // Meg
3rd: Kayla // YDY FUNDRAISER TOTE // Nicole // Ro
4th: Casey // Drew // Riese // Valerie Anne
Please forgive us if this month’s Insider is a little short. As I’m writing you this letter from the middle of the night, sitting at a kitchen table in an Air BnB someplace where I could see “fall leaves” “change colors,” we are LESS THAN THREE THOUSAND DOLLARS AWAY FROM OUR FUNDRAISER GOAL* HOLY SH!T
(*probably that gap is even smaller by the time you read this! What if today’s the day we meet our entire $138k goal! I believe in gay miracles.)
Very seriously, on behalf of literally everyone who works here, from the Senior Editors to writers and illustrators, even our accountant and our tech team, thank you.
Thank you for believing in Autostraddle and the importance of independent media in our queer futures. Thank you for keeping this tenacious, scrappy team together for a little while longer. We will never run out of gratitude for the dedication and support you’ve shown us, especially in the times we have needed it most. And may never fully be able to express how much it means, but I promise you that we’ll never stop trying.
A special thank you to the 270 (again, holy sh!t) new A+ members who are joining us for the first time because of the fundraiser. Welcome! This is your monthly insider — where I write you a letter about how your gay dollars are being spent, what we’ve been thinking about, and we give you a behind-the-curtain glimpse into the beautiful weirdos that keep this website afloat with their boundless creativity and snark and caffeine.
Speaking of our team of weirdos, I’m sure you have heard the news already by now, but I am so fucking ecstatic that after a 2 month long search, we welcomed our very own Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya as our new Managing Editor (and the crowd goes wild!!!!!!)
Kayla’s only been here two weeks and it already feels like she’s been a part of the senior team forever. Here’s a bit of what I told the team when we announced Kayla’s hiring, just so you can see how lucky we all are to have her with us:
“We all know Kayla from across Autostraddle, where she has been writing since December 2015, but I would love to take this opportunity to re-introduce Kayla to you as Laneia and I got to know her through this hiring process — in a different light as a writer, reporter, critic, and editor with a decade of experience. Kayla has worked in print newsrooms, at literary journals, online magazines (ahem) and large media companies. Her publishing background is vast but also deeply knowledgeable, and we are so looking forward to her drawing from those varied experiences to enhance to the depth of our editorial team.
…
What most drew Kayla to this role (and us to Kayla!) was her passion for using her long-term experience as a freelance writer to care for not only the writers on our team, which is so important to us, but also a larger freelance roster of underrepresented voices — working with them as an editor to develop and grow into their greatest potential. She’s also incredibly savvy about the pragmatic ins-and-outs of the “business of media,” something that she’s itching to share with you all and other emerging talents finding their place in this industry. That’s on top of the editorial dreams that she pitched us, which I can’t wait for us to dig into together in the months to come!”
It’s an exciting (even if, sometimes exhausting) time to be building at Autostraddle — and I’m so sincerely grateful to have you here building with us.
Fundraiser season always comes with an uptick of A+ content, because we want to thank you for being the backbone that keeps this publication going, so this month we have TEN PIECES OF A+ CONTENT to share (which is double our normal monthly average!). Let’s see what we can round up:
- Into the A+ Advice Box #45: Your Wife Has Depression but Won’t Get Therapy
- In celebration of our favorite made up fundraiser holigay, “Straight People Day,” the team asked What If The Only Allies We Know Are Some Internet Cats?
- Did I mention? We also did a themed Advice Box for all your straight people problems!
- Speaking of beloved fundraiser traditions, we also hosted a Pop Up Discord server, this time for longer than ever before! And the Senior Staff showed up to hang out with y’all on a Friday night — one of my favorite memories of the entire month. Thanks to everyone who came!
- We had two SLICKS: The Cool of Marble by Cruel Valentine and The Defender by Melody Kamali
- We wrote a standalone A+ Advice conversation between Meg and Nicole, How Do You Deal With Divorce When Your Ex’s Family is More Supportive?
- We launched a BRAND NEW A+ SERIES GET READY called “Our Hobbies, Our Shelves” and I might be a little biased, but it’s one of my favorite things we have ever done. You get a mini-tour of our home libraries and a takeaway spreadsheet of the books that make us tick, lovingly curated and organized just for you!
- And as we approach the last days (hours!) of the fundraiser, we also hosted our annual AMA-a-thon, where the Autostraddle team came together to offer up some advice and answer all your invasive questions. As of writing this letter, there are currently 443 messages in there (!!), so if you haven’t yet, now’s the time to take a peak!
Wishing you as much 50% off candy as you can handle!
Love,
Carmen / Kayla / Heather / Laneia / Sarah / Nicole / Riese
Top 10 Most Popular Posts From September 2021
These posts were hella popular last month.
1. L Word Generation Q Episode 208 Recap: Launch My Party and I’ll Scream If I Want To, by Riese
2. The L Word Generation Q Episode 206 Recap: Love Shack is a Little Old Place Where Shane Asks For No Drama, by Riese
3. The L Word Generation Q Episode 207 Recap: Light Years Away From Appropriate Behavior, by Riese
4. The L Word Generation Q Season 2: Everything We Know, by Riese
5. The L Word Generation Q Episode 205 Recap: Lobsters Too Deserve Freedom, by Riese
6. QUIZ: Which Gay Witch Are You?, by Heather
7. QUIZ: Which Gay Ghost Is Haunting Your House?, by Heather
8. QUIZ: Which Mid-Aughts LGBTQ+ Female Television Character Are You?, by Riese
9. September 2021: What’s New and Gay on Netflix, Hulu, Amazon Prime Video and HBO Max, by Riese
10. QUIZ: Which Queer Cat Are You?, by Heather
Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations
Riese: There’s a Pippa fundraising shout-out too, did you get that one?
Carmen: oh did I miss pippa! GOTTA HAVE THEM ALL
Riese: it’s at the very end
but it’s probably the weakest caption / picture mash-up tbh
Carmen: right but pippa’s hot, so.
Riese: fair
Carmen: I really appreciated your Pippa thirst/ made me feel seen/ is the representation i want in this world.
Nicole: yeah pippa is hot
Carmen: I am SO GLAD we all agree on the most important matters (pippa’s hotness)
Laneia: i have to figure out a way for the next fundraiser letter i write to be something other than a therapy session
not sure it’s possible but we’ll see
Riese: but this one was so good!
i really did tear up
Laneia: yes but IMAGINE ME WRITING IT
like a goddamn cathy cartoon
Shelli Nicole: There’s a movie called super hot and it’s gay and has vampires – the lead is a pizza delivery girl
Kayla Kumari: 👀
Shelli Nicole: It’s terrible
Kayla Kumari: oh lol
Stef: SOLD
Sarah:
good morning!
Laneia: would give anything for a saturday morning animated series of these two and their witchy adventures
Nicole: oh my god
Laneia: they have a pet bat
a motorcycle with a sidecar
elvira drives obviously
Heather: reality queers, ranked by messiness would be such an amazing list
Carmen: would LOVE to publish such a list!!!
Kayla Kumari: 👀
Heather: you know how vulture’s having a vampire week this week? we should do a whole 90s week and do like living single, that kissing friends episode, we could tie it into queens and do like a whole “sittin’ up in my room” thing with brandy
Shelli Nicole: Heather
I have a whole doc called Y2Gay
Heather: We could turn those 90s scraps into a FEAST
OMG!!!! WE HAVE TO CALL IT THAT
THIS IS DESTINY(‘S CHILD)
Shelli Nicole: Wowowow
Fifty points to Heather
Carmen: love to learn! and also any day in which my work involves reading sentences like “writing 1200 words on the blowjob dildo you own”
Nicole: Back! Wow it sure takes a long time to drive to and from target but in other news I did not have a waffle maker.
Now I do.
And the only option for waffles in my house is skull waffles.
Sarah: spooky!!! again, outspooking yourself!
Carmen: OMG
Nicole I love seeing you truly in your season.
Nicole: Good morning!!!
Carmen: Good morning!
Riese: blessed day
Carmen: I respect how you’re breaking up the good morning trend here
Riese: I try to mix it up
once I said good morning in a different language every day for two weeks
and nobody noticed
Sadly Rejected Merch
Riese rejected this concept but Sarah made it anyway.
Fun Fact of The Month: Michigan Edition
Riese: i have a fun fact for the office which’s that of 11 past+present full-time autostraddle full-time employees, 45% have lived or currently live in michigan*
Kayla Kumari: omg
Carmen: i thought about that last night!
Kayla Kumari: so much michigan
Carmen: it’s also how 43% of the tv team went to nyu
Kayla Kumari: LOL wow I didn’t know that one
Carmen: it’s bizarre
Riese: so you, drew and valerie?
oh wait i took one (1) class at NYU
Carmen: I shall round us up to 43.2% then!
*Carmen, Riese, Sarah, Rachel, and now Kayla!
What We’ve Been Reading
Casey: The Only Good Indians by Stephen Graham Jones and The Death of Jane Lawrence by Caitlin Starling
Ro: In the Dream House by Carmen Maria Machado
Riese: The Recovering: Intoxication and Its Aftermath by Leslie Jamison
Kayla: Manywhere: Stories by Morgan Thomas and Yerba Buena by Nina LaCour
Natalie: Hip-Hop (and Other Things) by Shea Serrano and Arturo Torres
Meg: Making Magic by Briana Saussy
Sarah: Summer Spirit by Elizabeth Holleville
Drew: Fall On Your Knees by Ann-Marie MacDonald
Vanessa: I Love You But I’ve Chosen Darkness by Claire Vaye Watkins
KELLY GREEN
[CONTEXT: Sarah has been gathering our opinions on a new co-authors plug-in that will enable us to give TWO writers a byline instead of just one!]
Riese: I am so excited about this
i can’t wait to turn on a bad kristen stewart movie and retroactively add co-authors to hundreds of posts that had co-authors
(i mean that seriously)
Kayla Kumari: omg you’re going to retroactively update co authored posts?! That’s doubly exciting
Riese: the thing at the top where we write “by phyllis and nancy” instead of it being a co-author was a quick-fix we did when the co-authors plug in broke in 2012 and i have been waiting all my life for this moment
for a moment like this
as they say
Carmen: this all began because shelli has a a co-authored piece by two freelancers next month, and they obviously need the byline for their work (i mean all our writers do! but this was the impetus in this moment!)
Laneia: sidenote as fuck i can’t believe i haven’t made a kstew emoji yet i am so mad at myself
Riese: omg yes remedy
Laneia: and just more support here for the overlap! this is so cute and good and i can’t wait to seeeeee
Kayla Kumari: I have had a kstew slack notification rule set up since 2015
Riese: bless
Laneia: do y’all remember when kelly clarkson wore a fuck yoga tshirt
this is unrelated to co-authors but in a way, it’s related to everything
Riese: i do not remember that but already agree that it’s related to everything
it is related i assume to the classic ballad “a moment like this”
Laneia: yes
yes i read back
Sarah: lol i was wondering why that song was in my head
motherfucker
Laneia: did glee ever cover that song
bc that would’ve been really really fucking funny
Riese: sadly they did not
Kayla Kumari: one of the visceral flashbacks I sometimes have to being a closeted middle schooler is the time a group of hot girls at a party performed a choreographed dance ON CHAIRS? to, inexplicably, A Moment Like This
to this day I don’t know why that was the song. why it was on chairs. etc
Sarah: lolol kayla i was going to say i had a flashback to a halloween party in college when the whole party was singing “since you’ve been gone” into each others faces and grasping hands.
Riese: i love modern dance
In Here It’s Always Friday.
This month we’re talking hot apps. Kayla asked What Chain Restaurant Appetizer Are You? and the answer was overwhelmingly breaded hot cheese.
This is not spon con, but what if the next Autostraddle meet-up was at Friday’s? No pressure.
Class Picture Day
Sarah: We’ll be meeting this Thursday, October 28th at 1:30pm on Zoom to take some incredible shots for the Autostraddle Insider. Please be prepared to assume the following poses:
- Smiling
- Overjoyed / Excited
- Waving
- Making “hearts” with hands
- Making a silly face
Show up looking the way you feel best, and please make sure your face can be seen clearly. If you have any questions, please do not hesitate to ask me right here!
[Zoom Meeting Link]
A Few Days Later…
Heather: hi hello, sorry, this is 1:30 PST yeah?
Carmen: yes!
Heather: tyty!
Kayla Kumari: gonna be in a verrrryyyyy new orleans airbnb for this lol
Sarah: ooh! i’m so glad you’ll not be in the car kayla! and yesss we’ll be meeting in about 6 min ❤️
Carmen: just finished our fundraiser video, gonna touch up my make up super quick
Nicole: hello am here
Laneia: har
Sarah: hello! i’m setting up my background, 1 momeee
Heather: here!
Kayla Kumari: heeere!
Sarah: you can join!!! [zoom link]
Nicole: nooo zoom is updating
………………
Carmen: here! joining!
After the Call
Heather: i am still laughing! i miss y’all’s faces!
Kayla Kumari: it was nice to see everyone!!!!
Riese: GREAT 2 C THE FACES
Laneia: yes sameeeeeee
Kayla Kumari: also i pre-approve all photos of myself lol
Heather: me too pre-approved whatever y’all like
Riese: hahahaha
everyone has a great face
Carmen: late to the party (as always), but thank you all so much for being the best part of my day!
Nicole: you all have top notch faces
thank you for doing this!!! and sarah thank you for art directing so well and showing us how to take photos with your elbow
Sarah: here are the photos! [link]
agree that it was great to see everyone’s faces! ❤️
Kayla Kumari: aw yay they’re cute
Carmen: they really are! i was just saying that to sarah! y’all, we look great.
With quiz results like that it’s my duty to ensure you have read the greatest piece of writing in history, ‘My 14-hour search for the end of TGI Fridays endless appetisers” about the torment of the mozzarella stick https://www.gawker.com/my-14-hour-search-for-the-end-of-tgi-fridays-endless-ap-1606122925
LOOK AT THOSE CUTE ZOOM FACES
💀🧇‼️
Wait. Miami to Michigan? In November?! Bold.
Kayla went to the University of Michigan for college, no worries she is still living in Miami!
Lololol I had the same thought at first!
Here to say I LOVE THAT DAMN ZOOM PHOTO and that Michigan makes the best hotties
Who is Pippa? (I Googled, but that just took me down a rabbit hole that ended with Kate Middleton’s brother’s dogs)
Lol oh sorry! Pippa was Bette Porter’s most recent love interest in The L Word: Generation Q!
Thank you Carmen!!
Please be advised that some of us would have bought MULTIPLE Marina/Jenny t-shirts.
thank u for your support donna
oops this is sarah on my burner account AKA my phone doesn’t have my main account pw saved but yes it is i sarah sarwar😜
hi guys did you notice that alice junior is no longer on netflix?? what are we supposed to do now!!!