Letter From Your Editors
CHEERS TO YOU, A+ MEMBERS!! We are toasting you, full of gratitude! This month we saw our 14th birthday, and with your support we raised $217,000 (what) and also welcomed 258 new A+ members. Autostraddle keeps working because as a community, we build it together. And today, we are celebrating.
Laneia, Kayla, Meg, Nico
Riese, Ro, Sa’iyda, shea
Shelli, Stef, Valerie, Vanessa
Viv
There is a saying about March, that it comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. I’m 99% sure that nursery rhyme has to do with the farmers’ almanac and weather patterns, but from the perspective of this little website, let me just say… it was all a roar.
As I just mentioned, March saw our 14th birthday (where we hosted our annual A+ members only Ask Us Anything) and our fundraiser that truly we cannot stop screaming about. It was also the return of our March Madness TV competition. This year’s theme is Trope-y Wives and Natalie has worked so incredibly hard on it. She starts planning each year’s competition in January, and this year worked not only beside Heather (her usual collaborator) but also myself and our tech team Yikes to bring this massive feat to life. It’s been a huge hit and even though I’ve officially bottomed out of the Autostraddle TV Team’s bracket — neither of the couples I predicted are the last two standing!! — it’s been a real delight to play, and to watch TV fandoms really put the Madness into the name.
And it’s hard to believe that this still happened only this month, but March was also the month of Bubble Trouble, a week of fizzy nostalgia brought to you directly from the magnificently weird mind of our Managing Editor Kayla and our writers. I cannot say enough about how much fun Bubble Trouble was to watch come together!! From personal essays, to breakdowns of wine pairings and asking if prebiotic sodas actually work, to quizzes — excuse the slight corny pun, but every part was *chef’s kiss!
In an average month, Autostraddle might have one or two big events that we organize our month around, this month? We more than doubled that number. Plus, the fundraiser! Thank you again for everything you’ve done to see us this far!!! But understandably, we are pooped.
So I hope you don’t mind if this letter is a bit shorter than normal. If you’re one of our more than 250 (!!!) new members, this is usually the part of the letter where I go into detail about our behind-the-scenes or offer up some personal reflections, but instead I’m going to cut directly to the part where I tell y’all about all the A+ content we published this month — there were so many!!! — and also thank everyone who participated in our March meet-ups this month! Whether that was virtually on our discord, or in person with one of our writers and editors in Orlando and Chicago, we were so glad to have the chance to get to know you better. See!! Now what did I say? We been bussssyyyyyyy.
Before I wrap this month’s letter —and yes, it is 9:30pm on a Friday as I write this —I do have some other news to share. Viv, who you all know as our Art Director, has been living in Berlin while working here at Autostraddle since the fall. They’ve decided to make what was once a temporary move into a permanent one, so they are leaving Autostraddle this month. Today is actually their last day!! This is bittersweet news to share, because of course I am so excited for all of Viv’s new adventures and the next chapters of their life! But also in the last year since Viv came to Autostraddle, they have been instrumental in bringing our aesthetic into a new decade. The lasting impact of their work is going to be felt for a very long time to come.
Viv’s creativity and eye for high-end editorial art have elevated our visuals site-wide, everywhere from our now infamous Diner Week package to our most recent fundraiser graphics (which also gifted me with what’s quite possibly my favorite portrait). Speaking personally, they have also taught me so much about how to create slick and effective visual templates as an editor team, which allow us to pull off 30+ piece packages like Pride, Horror Is So Gay, or Holigays in ways that seem impressively seamless. And this has all been on top of our Instagram, where Viv has been nothing less than a force of nature!
So much of Viv’s work can be seen splashed across our platforms, but there are parts of Viv that I think we’re particularly lucky to see behind-the-scenes. Viv’s wit is unparalleled, for one. On a team full of funny people, they often get the last laugh. As a fellow insomniac, it’s been great to have someone else in office who peaks closer to midnight than 8am. They are just incredibly hard working, always game for a challenge, and have made us better in every way.
Goodbye Viv. We are going to miss you. 💚
Carmen / Riese / Nico / Laneia / Kayla / Heather / Anya / Viv
Top 10 Most Popular Posts From February 2023
These posts were hella popular last month.
1. Your Zodiac Sign as a Creepy Vintage Valentine’s Day Card, by Nico
2. Quiz: What Should You Play After Stardew Valley?, by Darcy
3. Francesca Farago Only Stayed On “Perfect Match” ‘Cause They Let Her Date a Woman, by Riese
4. February 2023: What’s New, Gay and Streaming on Netflix, HBO Max, Hulu, Prime Video, Peacock, Disney+, Shudder and Paramount+, by Riese
5. No Filter: Keke Palmer’s Fairytale-Themed Baby Shower Is Very Charming, by Christina Tucker
6. Blush and Bashful: You’re a Lesbian and You Want To Buy an Engagement Ring, by Vanessa
7. Quiz: Which Marvel Hero Is Your Wife?, by Heather
8. Two Dykes Discuss “Magic Mike’s Last Dance”, by Drew and Christina
9. “Perfect Match”‘s Francesca Farago Pulled Out a Woman’s Tampon With Her Teeth and We’re Obsessed, by Riese
10. No Filter: Queen Latifah’s Grammy Performance Was Very Moving (Hot) to Me, by Christina Tucker
Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations
Heather: every time i see carmen’s name out in the wild, i’m like “wow she really does speak for us all.”
Dani: a woman of taste
Carmen: noooooooooooooo
Kayla: has anyone ever read a good epilogue
i feel like every epilogue ever could just be cut
Laneia: i have no immediate memory of a useful epilogue but i love this question
Kayla: lol. like if the vibe is epilogue and not just last chapter then I have to ask if that means it is indeed not really needed!
the book I just read had such a banger last sentence…or so I thought…because then it was like EPILOGUE right after
Laneia: that’s like
it’s like attempting to start another round immediately after an orgasm, like just give me a minute please we might not even need this
Kayla: EXACTLY that laneia
Anya: this might sound insane but I feel like crime and punishment had a good epilogue lol
Kayla: anya that is not was i was anticipating but i am intrigued lol
Riese: Was it the punishment
Kayla: lol
Anya: it literally is
Sorry should’ve said spoiler alert
Nico: God Kayla I have Papa Roach stuck in my heeeeaddd
Kayla: CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES
Nico: THIS IS MY LAST RESORT
Kayla: SUFFOCATION
[sorry to leave you hanging, but that’s literally where the convo ended, probs because we both got busy lol]
Laneia: kayla are you back at the cheeseboard friend’s house
Kayla: I am indeed at cheeseboard friends house
We did a pastry spread this morning
Nico: well this is absolutely absurd
are you IN A MAGAZINE
did you get sucked inside of Good Housekeeping
Kayla: genuinely get so much work done with this friend and the food is why
Nico: I would also be happy with a friend like this
Anya: it’s all gorgeous
Nico: a candle! a candle with the breakfast pastries!
what are the golden shovels for
Kayla: Golden shovels are for stirring our lattes lol! This friend is the reason I also own 10 miniature golden shovels
We split a pack of 20
Nico:
Kayla: Listen you don’t realize how often you’ll use miniature golden shovels until you have a pack of miniature golden shovels
Kayla: there was a farm in Connecticut that had a little ice box by the road where you could take bottles of chocolate milk from and it was like the best chocolate milk in the entire world
Anya: that’s my dream kayla
that sounds like my ideal life
i love chocolate milk
Laneia: well that is charming as hell
Kayla: there are occasionally some ok things about connecticut, that was one of them
i will continue to make connecticut the site of horror stories in my fiction work though
Kayla: i might have to write a bonus saturday morning post bc otherwise, my 500th post is going to be the sunday quiz and i don’t want it to be the sunday quiz lol
especially because i have not yet determined what i am making the sunday quiz about
Riese: which legendary bus should you get on but the only busses i can think of that are queer are the bus for league of their own and the lesbian party bus, or maybe also the bus the nuns were fingerbanging on in that brief scene in the l word
Nico: omg finger bang nun bus
that was a great moment
muppet bus
muppets are gay
hm
spice girls tour bus
from spice world
mz frizzle’s magic school bus
she is a lesbian
surely the glee children went on a bus at some point
not rly a legendary bus tho
Riese: i keep thinking about Get on the Bus but that was about men
Kayla: all of these are queer buses imo:
– spice girls tour bus
– lesbian party bus
– aloto bus
– magic school bus
– L Word nun bus
– bus on the way to a high school show choir competition
– the megabus between ann arbor and chicago to visit your long distance friend you met on tumblr while you’re both closeted
are the last two just taken from my life? maybe so
Vanessa: wait what is soft launching in a negative way though
Stef: making passive aggressive more marketable
Lily: The yassification of passive aggressiveness…dare I say
[The following convo has light Yellowjackets Season Two spoilers]
Carmen: I am so worried for that baby.
Like, i just want for them not to eat the baby.
My wife is coming home to me, that’s all that matters.
Kayla: tawny cypress says in that EW article that they do not eat the baby
Carmen: tawny, always looking out for me
Anya: thank you tawny
if the show were on hbo they’d eat the baby
the showtime promise is no baby is eaten
Nico: awww spoiler alert
Carmen: lmao oh no, nico i’m sorry! we’ll be more careful next time.
Nico: eh it’s ok
risk of the job
can’t believe they aren’t gonna eat the baby tho
they are probably gonna sacrifice it!
carmen: oh nooooooooooooo
nico
well now i have a new thing to worry about
Kayla: wait it counts as a spoiler if cast are actively talking about it?
i’m genuinely asking
Nico: i don’t know the rules, but i was joking
Kayla: lol
Carmen: ok I’m going to try to write about JSB
Laneia: i think you can say hard launch, fwiw
Carmen: OMG LANEIA
Laneia: even tho the partner said soft, this is hard
Carmen: thank you
I was having a specific anxiety around this
for this exact reason, the partner is wrong!!
Laneia: arguably the only harder launch was niecy’s
Carmen: lmao, just flat out getting married is the only remaining level up
Laneia: like jsb ruined that girl’s whole face, blessedly
Carmen: blessedly
What We’re Reading
Fates and Furies
by Lauren Groff
Riese
The Fake
by Zoe Whittall
Kayla
Knocking Myself Up
by Michelle Tea
Ro
Edinburgh
by Alexander Chee
Vanessa
The Water Outlaws
by S.L. Huang
Heather
The Hours
by Michael Cunningham
Anya
Gilead
Marilynne Robinson
Drew
The Daughters of Izdihar
by Priya Guns
Carmen
Making the American Body
by Jonathan Black
Stef
Transit
by Rachel Cusk
Carmen
Attached
by Amir Lavine, MD and Rachel S.F. Heller, MA
Em
Bittersweet
by Susan Cain
Meg
Mindful of Murder
by Susan Juby
Casey
Slug and Other Stories
Megan Milks
Casey
PST Woes
Laneia: ok not that anyone cares BUT e5 of last of us was SO MUCH MORE DEVASTATING than e3 !! e3 was fine but e5 ?? come on
Nico: oh my god
so good
ALSO whenever I see the side-by-side scene comparisons with the video game i’m like??? this was a game that existed for like 10 whole years?
Laneia: did people just lose their shit at e3 bc they never see men being gentle with one another??
Nico: i think so
Riese: 77 unread
Laneia: good morning sunshine
Riese: I’m going to have an aneurysm
Nico: we whined, then we decided to talk about the last of us
summarizing
Riese: I thought with Kayla out I would be safe
Nico: ellie’s screams in that, the desperation to survive, their breakdown
DEVASTATING
Laneia: DEVASTATING NICO
Anya: oh god
i have chosen not to watch this series
Laneia: ellie was DEVASTATING
oh anya why
Nico: Laneia, I am sure you’ve come across it by now, but I remain haunted by knowledge given to me by social media that the cordyceps people are conscious inside their bodies
Laneia: amanda’s sister sammy was like i will never ever watch that and i was like ah the violence, is that it ,and she was like no i have a debilitating fear of zombie ants
Riese: I am quitting and getting a job at a California based company
Anya: thank you for your service riese
Nico: this is a california based company
all times PST
Laneia: riese what if we made a new channel for east coast office and they can’t talk in here until 8am your time
Riese: Then I’d just miss more things than I already do 🫠
Laneia: noooo the rule would be nothing important in that channel either! just like a real office, that opens at 8am
Nico: tbh we aren’t ever really discussing anything important tho
Laneia: ban all work between 5pm and 8am pst
Nico: it’s just chit chat
Laneia: that’s true
Riese: False!
False!
Laneia: lol
Nico: lmao
Riese: You are. Both lying.
Liars!
Laneia: riese did you like e5 or e3 better though
Riese: E3
Wait which was gay boys
Laneia: 3
Riese: I liked that one best yes
Nico: ah see I am with Laneia on 5
Riese: I did love the mall tho
I love the mall
Laneia: I’m still sitting at the beginning of e6
Carmen: I haven’t gotten past episode 1
because I saw this screenshot, and I did not recover
Carmen: like how are y’all moving past that??
how?
Nico: it’s just a hen of the woods with teeth
Laneia: well yeah i mean if you pause it and hold it still in front of your face in perpetuity it’s very disturbing but don’t do that!
Carmen: awww it’s so much cuter in grass?
why is it terrifying on a face?
Laneia: without the murder yeah
cuter
Riese: it reminds me of this book where a girl got a cauliflower on her ass from anal
Carmen: it does seem a key part would be not to like stare at a picture through laneia, you’re right
omg what
Laneia: see this is what riese is really missing, the opportunity to reference anal fissures
Nico: see, it’s smiling
What We’ve Been Watching
Heavenly Creatures
Ro
Rye Lane
Shelli
The Amazing Maurice
Heather
Better Call Saul
Anya
The Model and the Marriage Broker
Drew
Women Talking
Shelli
The Fast and the Furious
Stef
Petite Maman
Viv
Quantumania
Em
PR Emails That Lost Their Way
More often than we’d like, people email us about things that demonstrate they might be missing the point.
Himani: Lol I got this same email
Valerie: I got it too!
Darcy: He’s not startling the whole team!
Viv’s Art Zone
Here we’re celebrating our Art Director Viv before they leave us for a life of art in Berlin.
KKU LookBook
Your Cool Babysitter: I wore this for the super fun Orlando A+ meetup! The vibe was def “cool babysitter who’s about to take you to the pool.” The shorts I’ve had since college when I originally thrifted them. They’re long Levi shorts that I cut and cuffed. Kind of like these $53 90s-style shorts, which also have plus-size options. I impulsively thrifted the rainbow cropped tank as, perhaps, a subconscious homage to my striped rainbow sweater days. Any colorful knitwear tank will do the trick. But I also have to throw on an open buttondown ($36) as a psuedo-jacket when I wear outfits like this because places in Florida love to blast that air conditioning. I’m also wearing a choker with a seashell pendant to complete the summery retro look. It’s similar to this one on Etsy ($35).
The Feminine Urge To Wear the Same Top 8 Days in a Row: I indeed love my new green mockneck cropped tank from Uniqlo SO MUCH that I cannot stop wearing it. It comes in six colors, and I’m tempted to buy more, but at $30 I might wait to see if they ever go on sale. I’m wearing them over black denim stretch shorts ($25). The necklace was a gift from India. I did my hair like Lynda from the movie Halloween, so my fiancé Kristen kept saying I was going to get murdered by Michael Myers. Hot!
I Had To Be the Hottest Girl at the Toddler’s Birthday Party for Some Reason: Yes, I did wear this White Lotus ass resortwear look to a two year old’s bday, and I looked GREAT. The white pants are also Uniqlo and are ultra comfortable, with a good amount of stretch. They come in five colors and are $40 and are definitely the type of slacks you could wear for a business casual event or if you have to dress up for work. Comfortable and profesh! I thrifted the tank, which is cropped and very stretchy. I can’t find a great match, but this $25 scoopneck tank from Abercrombie comes in a million colors and looks comfy. Sunglasses are Raybans gifted to me by Kristen. Also I NEED PEOPLE TO TELL ME IF MY MIDDLEPARTED HAIR JOURNEY IS WORKING FOR ME.
Failure Is An Art Form
We are here to normalize trying, failing, trying, and failing again!
Giving ourselves a break on this section for a month haha. SEE YOU IN APRIL.
You All Are Powerful!!! Over 71% of Gifts to the Fundraiser were $50 or less. And welcome to our 250+ new A+ members!
Viv, Being Funny 🥬 💚
Viv: about to embark on my own existential spreadsheet journey while dyeing my hair again on a friday evening
Riese: i wish you really only the best of luck on your adventure and best wishes on emerging a whole person on the other side
what color are you dying your hair
Viv: green again, my new identity
Riese: oh good
earthy
Viv: while listening to a buddhist monk’s 10 daily reminders to a better life on youtube
Riese: oh i hope that works
Viv: ever since i shaved my head my elder family has been urging me to be a celebrity buddhist nun
Riese: probably spreadsheets is like #9
Viv: to engage the youth
Riese: you have a real opportunity to engage gen z in meaningful
spiritual dialogue!!
Viv: on my walk we saw a man snatch someone’s phone that was on a table at an outdoor cafe at the end of the street and run book it straight towards us. but the person yelled thief really loudly and multiple people gave chase, and one of them was actually so fast that she almost caught up to him and he ended up chucking the phone on the street so he could escape
but i secretly wished the chase ran for longer so I could’ve tripped him up and become the local hero
Anya: oh my god
Laneia: omg viv
you would’ve looked v cool nonchalantly tripping him !
Viv: i guess just a daily reminder not to put your phone on the table edge facing the street while sitting outside
Riese: why’d you cover your face! lol
are you on the run
the baseball cap and posture suggests you are escaping a federal indictment
Viv: Lolll
It was too sunny
I attempted one of those LA ig ad photos outside
“ON THE RUN” is a great photoshoot idea though
gay international fugitives
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THE FUNDING
XOXO
Team Autostraddle
The toasts! Viv’s farewell! The fundraiser! Hottest person at the toddler birthday party! 😂🤩😭🥰🥲 I laughed, I cried— this A+ Insider really gave it all!
Congrats on the fundraiser! Also oh man, I’ve loved Viv’s work SO much, will really miss their presence here! Wishing them all the best 💚
Oh MANNNNNN I will miss Viv’s art so much!! They really leveled up every page on this website! Thanks for all the inspiration and eye candy Viv 💚
Thank you for everything, Viv!! 🌱💚
Aww thank you everyone!
I absolutely loved working with the team and feel spoiled rotten for a group as funny, smart, and capable as this. I’m so happy to be a part of this corner of the internet.
You can catch me in the comments section around the website and on Instagram, I’ll still be running the AS handle for a bit. Autostraddle is so special and I can’t wait for our paths to cross again!
re: epilogues
i was an AVID fan of the “dear america” series (those books that were fictional diaries of girls from different ~moments in history~? anyone else? no?) and every book in the series had an epilogue, and i ate those epilogues right up
in general i’ve always enjoyed an epilogue- they kind of feel like a piece of fanfiction of the book, in the actual book? it’s fun and silly 2 me
Viv’s work on the site has been amazing! They will definitely be missed, but wishing them all the best on their future pursuits!
re buses: the bus in Pride where they sing ‘every woman is a lesbian at heart’
Truly startling Insider issue ! February was a lifetime ago wasn’t it ?
Thank you Viv, your art is forever uplifting
Kayla I say Yes please continue the middleparted hair journey it is transformative
and Liking comments is a trip today, I keep licking them instead. OK I may be doing it intentionally now.
I’ve loved Viv’s work here, especially the fundraiser artwork. Wishing them the best!
The first year my partner and I were together we did a Twin Peaks themed Christmas tree and I bought these shovels and made them into ornaments and was incredibly proud of myself. So this conversation was affirming to me personally (and Dr. Jacobi, I guess?).
Twin! Peaks! Themed! Christmas! Tree! I need to know more…
The shovels served a thematic cohesiveness function. Other ornament highlights included: a bulb painted with blue roses, a tape recorder (Diane is not not TP Santa), a cherry pie, donut shaped ornaments, a small “Welcome to Twin Peaks” sign, coffee cups, and a picture of the falls. Wrap some red room ribbon around that faux Douglas fur, approximate a chevron tree skirt, add a gratuitous log for *flare* (when guests ask about it, reply only with “I do not introduce the log.”), and this is where the holiday spirit lives Shelley!
We never managed to make a “The Arm” tree topper but we did have a lot of fun with it nonetheless.
This is incredible. I salute you. And also I would never ever be able to use those little shovels without muttering to myself “You gotta shovel yourself outta the shit!” So, all that is to say, yes. I am so glad you feel confirmed.
VIV THANK YOUUUUUUUUUUU FOR YOUR AMAZING ARTTTTTTTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Y’all are so patient for reading through my typos (now fixed!!). No more writing our monthly letters at 9:30pm on a Friday ever again!
Love you Carmen!!
happy trails, viv! your art direction has been wonderful and Elevated so many fantastic article series :)