Letter From Your Editors

2024!!!!!!! And we’re opening the year with love.

Drew / Em C / Kayla
Nico / Riese / Nic
Stef / Carmen / Valerie Anne

Was that too corny? The real story behind this month’s heart hands photo collage is that I recently brought up during an editor’s meeting that apparently there’s a generational gap on how to make hearts with your hands? My first instinct is always thumbs and forefingers pressed together, where the thumbs make the pointy bottom of the heart and curved forefingers make the top — but the new movement is to use your forefingers and your middle fingers! In this scenario, your middle fingers come together to make the pointy bottom and your forefingers still curve together, but I don’t know how to explain it… in a reversed manner?… to make the top of your heart. Anyway, this information blew people’s minds and sent everyone’s hands making cobbled together heart shapes mid-zoom.

But if you want corny, you better sit your ass down, because I’m not done yet!! One thing that I’ve been reflecting on a lot lately is how grateful I am for you, our readers. It feels obvious, I know, because without you reading this website, we quite literally would not have jobs, so there is a lot to be grateful for. That’s not necessarily what I’m thinking about in this moment though. I’m grateful for the community we’ve built together over the years, in inside jokes that went on for too long and notes of “your hair looks great today! Don’t forget to hydrate!” left in the A+ inbox. I’m grateful for all the ways we’ve collectively decided keep coming back and make Autostraddle real and tangible for each of us.

We’ve said it so often that sometimes I worry it’s lost meaning, but it’s nevertheless true that the work of making Autostraddle is magic. There’s the craft of writing and editing, there’s the people running the business, but also there’s this shimmering and almost ephemeral “secret” ingredient, right? That ingredient is you. And you have been at the front of my mind this month. These heart hands are for you.

Ok!! Ok!! OK!! My Big Cancer Feelings out of the way (no but seriously I’m so grateful for you! Ok! Moving on now! I promise!), there’s so much going at Autostraddle this month.

The dual writers/actors strike pushed the Emmys into January, which means that our annual Autostraddle TV Awards also published in January — a fun fact is that we ended up publishing on Naya Rivera’s birthday, which meant that we were able to hand out the Santana Lopez Legacy Award on her exact day. I love when life works out that way. Drew lead our team through her first TV Awards at the helm, and then because of timing, she immediately had to shift gears to helm our annual Sundance coverage. It was impressive as hell and also I’m so excited for her to be able to get some rest!! You’ve already heard this from our call for pitches in your weekly newsletter, but Nico and I are hard at work planning Autostraddle’s next theme week, which will debut next month. It’s going to be Divorce Week, which will publish from February 12^th-18^th. Get it? Did you get it?

Of course you’ve probably noticed that our website is looking a little bit different these days! Autostraddle has needed a sprucing up for a very long time, something that we finally have resources to dedicate to. The current layout (including font, etc.) of our website is actually an interim phase while we work on a bigger redesign. We’re excited that it’s underway and can’t wait to share more! Of course, any feedback you have is appreciated and feel free to leave those comments in the A+ Box so that they can be routed to our design team. We’re also continuing to work on making the reader app a high quality reading experience as well, so there’s lots to look forward to in the future. And of course, none of these improvements or changes would be possible without members like you! It’s thanks to you, our members, supporting queer media that Autostraddle can continue to grow and evolve! Thank you for helping making queer media that’s here for the long haul.

This month AF+ members got two different advice boxes, weekly crossword puzzles, a new anonymous sex diary, and also we wrapped our latest essay series, SHAME (which was seriously, so good, Nico is such a gifted editor! Please, please go back and read if you missed it. The level of vulnerability and care taken here is just next level.)

Your hair looks great today! Don’t forget to hydrate!
Love,
Carmen / Nico / Kayla / Riese / Drew

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What The Team Can’t Get Enough of This Month

Riese: This month, I cannot get enough of Trader Joe’s salads in a bag. I was skeptical of a salad in a bag but it turns out I am a bag salad girl. Specifically the Lemon Arugula Basil Salid Kit. Wow! Sign me up for more salads from my favorite place: a bag.

Kayla: This month, I can’t get enough of bowling. This is probably true for me most months. I’m obsessed with bowling! But this month in particular has included some really good bowling, sometimes just with my SOON TO BE WIFE and sometimes with a group of friends I’ve brainwashed into loving bowling! Bowl is life!

Valerie Anne: This month, I can’t get enough of Baldur’s Gate 3. I was a little late to the game so most people I know have finished it already but I just started Act II and I’m ready for more mischief with my ragtag group of weirdos.

Em (Win): This month, I cannot get enough of escape rooms. I know I’m many years late to the trend, but I blame it on simply me being a millennial.

Sa’iyda: This month, I cannot get enough of Percy Jackson and the Olympians of Disney+. We’ve been watching it as a family, and it has truly become the highlight of my week. Also, the show is just really awesome.

Ashni: This month, I can’t get enough of Superstore, the NBC sitcom. I’ve been watching multiple episodes every night and I’m almost done with the series! I was a big Ugly Betty fan when it aired, and it’s been really cool to see America Ferrera in another TV role.

Drew: This month I can’t get enough of the pignoli cookies from Fortunato Brothers. (Shoutout to Stef Rubino for the recommendation!!)

Nic: This month I can’t get enough of rewatching Criminal Minds! There’s something comforting about knowing that for the most part, there’s a resolution at the end of each episode, plus I mean, EMILY PRENTISS.

Em (Chadwick) : this month I can’t get enough of the crisp, blue skies and freezing cold morning walks with River (doggo) where the road looks silver. Bonus can’t-get-enough points for the days where it has snowed and she gets so psyched ramming her snout through the snow.

Stef Rubino: This month, I can’t get enough of how cool AND dry (no rain!!) it has been in South Florida. It’s truly been feeling more like the winters of my youth here the last few weeks.

Nico: This month, I can’t get enough of rotting in bed. I’ve accessorized my bed to allow for maximum decay. It’s great. 🤌

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Nine Important Excerpts From Editorial Conversations

Riese: Drew this interview with Elise is such a treat!
Drew: Thank you!! Now I just need to convince Elise to do an AF+ interview…
Kayla: Kristen blessedly loves when I interview her lol
She’s like wow we should do this all the time
And I’m like we do
It’s literally just us talking….we do that every day

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Carmen: *sends photo of personality quiz result saying she got Mal from The Ultimatum: Queer Love*
Is this a good thing? someone tell me
Kayla: yes! everyone loves Mal
Riese: yes Mal is the best
you win
Carmen: wheww! ok cool (i knew Mal was ~popular, but in terms of how that popularity came about, truly could have gone either way)
Kayla: oh yeah not popular in like a toxic way where everyone is obsessed with them being evil or something haha. they’re good popular!
Carmen: kayla you get me! thank you!
Kayla: i realized being popular on reality tv can mean a lot of things

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Drew: I forgot to leave the meeting and all of a sudden Slack started playing “smooth jazz” and I was so confused
Riese: I was like “I wonder what Dew is up to in there”
I guess the answer was “enjoying smooth jazz”

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Nico: for some reason jock straps have been a point of discussion in my social circle recently
Motti: jock straps entered the convo a lot after the Senate Bottom or Congress Top video dropped
Nico: 🤔

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Kayla: ok well Drew’s Saltburn essay is apparently popping off on reddit
Drew: Yessss
Oh wow REALLY popping off
I’m so glad that the secret to getting people to read my longform criticism personal essays was writing about movies people actually watch
Who wouldve thought
Kayla: lol
Drew: Wow someone on the reddit thread bringing Eyes Wide Shut into the discussion, so true

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Nico: priority box submission about this new hockey league: “Have yall heard of the PWHL? It’s a new women’s hockey league. Only 6 teams this season but it has been a lot of fun watching and getting into hockey. 4 out of 6 team captains are queer!”
Riese: Do any of us know anyone who is into hockey
Drew: You’d think I would given my connection to Canada
Kayla: shoot I was literally gonna be like if anyone does it’s Drew via Elise
Drew: I’ll ask her
Nico: Phone a Canadian

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Drew: “If only certain publications are granted access, I’d like to know so I can follow up elsewhere to question why a queer publication of Autostraddle’s history and stature is excluded.” This worked.I’mgetting Drag Race screeners.🥲
Riese: CONGRATULATIONS DREWWWWW
love 2 frame a screeners refusal as homophobia
it is often our only hope in this dark world

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*in a headline brainstorm*
Carmen: I’m pulling out my laptop, so I can have my little title app in front of me. It helps me visualize.
“Victoria MonetDoesn’tTake it Lightly that She Has the Chance Whitney HoustonDidn’t”
Drew: “A Whitney Houston Documentary Inspired Victoria Monet to Come Out”
Although maybe that’s not true exactly
Carmen: “Victoria Monet Tops Megan in the Club to Honor Whitney, Legend Shit”
Riese: yes
Carmen: Ok so I was joking!

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What We’re Reading

Riese: Day: A Novel, by Michael Cunningham

Kayla: We Were the Universe by Kimberly King Parsons

Valerie Anne: This Poison Heart by Kalynn Bayron

Em Win: No Bad Parts by Richard Schwartz

Sa’iyda: Don’t Want You Like a Best Friend by Emma R. Alban

Ashni: Our Hideous Progeny, by C. E. McGill

Drew: Feel Free by Zadie Smith

Nic: My Dearest Darkest by Kayla Cottingham

Em (chadwick): Deep Nutrition by Catherine Shanahan

Stef Rubino: Ill Nature by Joy Williams

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The Incredibly Accurate Quiz

Carmen: Finally took my own quiz and apparently I’m a Regina George? Not sure how I feel about that
Kayla: I need to take it!
Carmen: It’s a quick lil jaunt! especially for how long it took me to make 😭 (i’ll be faster next time,now that my wheels have been greasedi hate that sentence, why did i write it 😭)
Nico: So much to do, and yet I will go take it
Riese: Don’t worry everyone, I took it immediately
Nico: lol Carmen I did in fact used to jog before high school sometimes
Carmen: That tracks! You ran cross country in high school! Lots of running
Nico: I’d go for a jog, come back, shower, climb out my bedroom window onto the roof and smoke a joint, grab something to eat and catch the bus for the first class of the day – which by the time I had this routine senior year was def calculus
Carmen: Once again, you were so much cooler in high school than I ever was or could hope to be
Nico: I was kinda insane but ok lol
this quiz is making me have to reckon with my continued loyalty to the mixed berry pop tart
Carmen: hahaaaa that’s one of my favorite questions because I associate pop tarts with high school? on like, an emotional level?
We used to eat them after/during rehersals while listening to Broadway soundtracks on our Discmans and writing on each other in Sharpie
Nico: lol got Lindsay – I did used to wish my Samantha Ronson would sweep me off my feet back in the day

Carmen: oooooh that’s cute!!!
I gave her all the outdoorsy answers, so that tracks a lot
Nico: It was a cute quiz!! good job
Kayla: feeling seen (as a dyke with faggy vibes)

Carmen: oh I LOVE that for you Kayla. This feels right.
Kayla: Your quiz methodology is on point 👌🏽
Carmen: hahaaaaaa
Drew: When I took it yesterday I got Tina Fey😂
English was my favorite subject in school OKAY
Carmen: omg wait! So Drew!
Originally i wanted to write “The Teacher’s Pet to Gay Pipeline is very real” as the blurb for the Tina Fey one! But I got scared people wouldn’t get the joke and say I was encouraging grooming 😔
Drew: Extremely real
Nico: wowowowow
Kayla: Did we all get different results?
Riese what did you get?
Nico: That wow was to drew getting the teacher’s pet option, not to grooming
Drew: 😂

*multiple hours later*

Riese: I got Gretchen!
Kayla: Omg so we did all get different answers

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Florida Wildlife Report

I saw the biggest fish I’ve ever seen in my LIFE while walking with my fiancée around a lake one day, and then we saw it again on two subsequent walks! I think it was over three feet long?! I’m sorry to say I do not have a good photo of it, but you’ll just have to believe me. Similarly, I wanted to get some photos of the bats we sometimes see on our evening walks, but it turns out you probably need professional camera equipment for that. My shitty iPhone 8 is simply not Nat Geo ready! So instead enjoy this photo of a very special species of bat…

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Drew’s Nonsense Notes

I use my Notes app for… everything. I’m sure there’s a less chaotic way to organize everything from to-do lists to movie ideas to random observations but this is the one that works best for me! So each month I’ll share something random from my Notes app and try to decipher it for you.

I think I wrote this in my notes app to be my Letterboxd review upon finishing the series, but I must’ve forgotten, because I don’t usually log TV. So now it’s just going here.

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Which Mean Girls Character Are You?

Results from Autostraddle Quiz “Which Bottoms Character Are You?“

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Anal-ytics*

*Editor’s Note: Yes, I’ve made this pun on this website before and you will never be able to stop me. xoxo – Nico

Drew: I love stats!
Riese: what a subject line, you know?
never opened a PR email faster
how does this make sense tho

Riese: like last year it was just 1%?
Drew: No like a 39% increase
To now be 40%
Riese: oh ok I see. so it started at 29%?
and a 39% increase of 29% is 40% ?
it’s weird bc we just have percentages and not the raw numbers
Drew: Yeah it’s v confusingly written
Kayla: I got a B in stats so
Riese: I ended up taking it pass/fail
I feel like it was at this weird axis in the course categorizing situation where somehow stats counted as a science course
Drew: I got in a fight with my stats teacher because he admitted to me that he knew what he was asking us to do was impossible without cheating and I was like okay but everyone else is cheating except me and I’m killing myself to try and do the work??
*everyone reacts with a “thumbs down” emoji*
Drew: And he was like well people are going to cheat regardless so I need to increase the work to balance that out and I was like OKAY BUT IM DOING DOUBLE WORK TO BE HONEST
Nico: I disagree with this method???
Riese: he did not appreciate your sense of honor
I feel like stats was at this weird axis in the course categorizing situation where somehow it counted as a science course?
Carmen: oh this is how it also worked at my college! I took stats, environmental justice, and physics for poets (yes those last two were real courses, shout out to liberal arts schools)
Kayla: I took Michigan’s famous dinosaurs course that all the non-science girlies took for science credit
Carmen: oh that sounds fun! roar and whatnot

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What? It’s a Conveniently Located Priority Contact Box!

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Queer Stock Photo Success Stories

When you search for “pillow princess” in Canva… this princess comes up. Cheers!

XOXO

Team For Them