Kelly says that she needed their help, that the people of the Heights needed their help, but no no one saw them, no one saw her. Alex starts to contradict her but Kelly gives her a look that stops her in her tracks and Alex knows this is not the time for that. This is not about her, or their relationship, this is about the Superfriends and how they failed Kelly and the people of the Heights.

:Angelica Schuyler voice: “I’m not here for you.”

Kara repeats that she intends to stop the person who did this, but Kelly doesn’t care about Nyxly. She doesn’t need justice right now, and neither do the people of the Heights. They need help. People are dying and she feels like no one can hear their cries for help. And of course, of COURSE, it has not escaped Kelly that the people who are being ignored are the people who look like her. She wants to know where the outrage is, at the lack of help, the lack of hope.

Directing that “hope” line right at Kara was so impactful.

Kelly storms off, and Alex and Kara both want to chase after her but Nia tells her to give her some space and let Kelly come to them when she’s good and ready. Kelly is taking out her frustration on a punching bag when Diggle joins her in the training area and she apologizes for going off like that, for losing control of her emotions.

Confrontation makes me dizzy so I’m very proud of her.

Kelly says it’s not like her, that usually she’s optimistic and communicative, but she just hit a breaking point. Diggle understands; he says they’ve been fighting this fight for centuries, and they can’t give up now. He says she might only be one person, but heroes come in all forms. They don’t need to be bulletproof aliens. Kelly wants to be an advocate for people who don’t have heroes who look like them; she wants people to know that there is someone fighting alongside them. She wants to be for National City what Ryan Wilder was for Gotham when she took up the cowl.

Kara comes in, not realizing Kelly is there, and starts to excuse herself but Kelly is ready to talk to her now. Kara starts by saying, “I’m sorry,” then wisely stays quiet for a while as Kelly explains that for Kelly, this whole situation is bringing up a lifetime of trauma she has been doing her best to push down, but it’s getting harder and harder, and frankly, she’s tired.

:insert Elena Alvarez “I’m so tired” gif:

Kelly begs her to understand why this is so important, that EVERYONE needs hope, including the people in the Heights. Kara says she really did think stopping Nyxly was the best way to help keep her from doing them more harm, but Kelly says that the people in the Heights are hurting NOW, they don’t have the luxury of thinking about potential future problems.

Kara starts to beat herself up, confused where she went wrong, saying she cares about marginalized communities, like how she was part of the alien march and goes to alien bars. But Kelly reminds her that she IS an alien. And even if you’re part of a marginalized community yourself, you’re going to sometimes miss things happening to/in other marginalized communities you’re not part of, especially while you’re fighting your own fights too. But that’s why we HAVE to listen to each other, we HAVE to hear each other, we have to reach across and support each other, to lift each other up; otherwise we’re all just crabs in a pot, keeping each other down, which is just what the evil chef wants.

And speaking of listening to each other, now it’s time to listen to everyone’s favorite Batwoman recapper, Nic, talk a little about this scene. We were talking about this episode and she told me she spontaneously jotted down some of her thoughts on it and I asked her if I could include them here and she graciously agreed because she’s a good friend.

Shocking probably no one, I had a lot of feelings about this week’s episode of Supergirl. I’m only one voice in the conversation that so many CWDCTVLGBTQ shows are having right now, but I am so so glad that it’s happening, especially on the heels of Kara attempting to relate to the struggles in the Heights just because she’s an alien.

There’s a physical choice that Azie made (whether in writing the script or acting in the moment) where she calmly balled her fists and slowly sat down as Kelly buckled in to hear what Kara fully intended to be a genuinely heartfelt speech. She wants to hear out her friend, but she is also one misplaced comment away from lashing out on the next well-meaning white woman who crosses her path.

And I get it. I get the exhaustion and the frustration that comes with holding space for non-Black allies. It’s a feeling that I often don’t anticipate because I assume my frustration will come from dealing with those who feel differently than I do. But sometimes the expectation of handing out brownie points to white women like Kara, especially when and because we care about them, is a heavier weight to carry than shutting down outright bigots.

Kelly’s been carrying that burden and she’s so tired. But she also makes sure to tell Kara that while her feelings are valid, feelings alone will not solve anything. “Guilt is not an active emotion,” she says, and WHEW CHILE did I actually shout “WHEW CHILE” when I heard it? You know I did.

Don’t make your guilt someone else’s problem, please and thank you.

Meanwhile, Space Dad finds Alex on the Feelings Balcony, feeling her own guilt; the really thought she was listening to her girlfriend but she realizes now that she wasn’t REALLY hearing her. J’onn says that Alex will never fully understand what Kelly is going through as a Black woman, and reassures her that Kelly knows Alex loves her. All Alex has to do is keep showing up, and keep trying to be better.

That I can do. I can do that.

Brainy calls the team together and explains what happened to Rankin, about how her gene therapy made her a siphon and she is literally sucking the life out of the people in the Heights who breathed in the building dust. So they have to suck the energy out of Rankin and give it back to the people, which won’t magically heal them, but will give them back the energy to heal themselves. Brainy says it will get in the way of tracking Mxy, but Kara doesn’t care. They’ll find another way to find Mxy, the people in the Heights are the priority now. She listens to Kelly and waits for her approval as they set up a plan and head off to set up.

Before follows, Kelly asks Brainy for help with the Guardian helmet. She needs more visibility in more ways than one; Brainy had already gotten started and remembering he’s from the future and probably knew she’d become Guardian one day, she asks him if any of this is better in the future. He wishes he could tell her he’s from a magical utopia, and he says that while it is better, the truth is, there are still generational scars, there is still work to be done. And what the people from his time didn’t have that the people in 2021 do is Kelly as the Guardian. So they get to work fixing up her suit to Kelly’s specifications. And Kelly smiles her biggest smile of the day.

:laughing like Louise Belcher in the fire: IT IS TIME

And when Guardian strolls up in her new suit, a shining majestic gold, with braids spilling elegantly out of the helmet, with beads in them representing Azie’s own Eritrean culture, the lower half of her face showing. Everyone who sees Guardian will now know that this is undoubtedly a Black woman, undoubtedly a hero.

And a QUEER Black hero at that! How lucky are we?

And this time? She has the Superfriends behind her. As she should have all along.

Rankin gives a villain speech and starts destroying things, but Guardian heads up to find a good spot for the reverse siphon while the Superfriends protect the neighborhood.

Guardian asks Orlando to help her, but he’s wary; she says she wants to earn his trust, just wants a chance to prove she’s there for him, so he agrees to round up the patients for her, and she’s relieved.

I’m glad they didn’t modulate her voice but it was funny that she was simply talking in a lower register.

Supergirl tries to fight Rankin while she waits for Guardian to get in place, but with her new powers, Rankin can match her fighting style and mirrors her. Joey points to Guardian on the roof, and the neighborhood watches as Guardian activates the reverse siphon. Supergirl holds her still and hisses, “This power doesn’t belong to you,” in her ear as Guardian returns the energy to the people Rankin stole it from.

Everyone immediately feels so much better, full of energy, and frankly hope, and they give Guardian a round of applause.

Guardian encourages Orlando to run for Council, and he doesn’t think he’s qualified but she prods him until he at least agrees to consider it. Before she leaves, she notices some little Black girls already playing Guardian, and she knows taking up this shield was the right decision.

Diggle congratulates Kelly on a job well done and quotes Black Lightning himself, saying Jefferson always said, “Don’t be a hero to the people, be a hero FOR the people.” She takes that to heart and thanks him for his help as he leaves.

Some heroes (see: Arrow) look very silly with their mask off because of what they do around the eyes to conceal it but she looks AMAZING.

Kara apologizes to Kelly again but Kelly doesn’t want her apologizes. She wants her dedication. She wants Kara to promise to double down on this action, to keep it up, to fight for the people who need them most. Together. Kara acknowledges that this is only the beginning of this conversation and promises to keep working to be better. Kara says she’s lucky to have Kelly on the team, and Kelly gives the cutest little “mmhmm” of agreement, because she knows it’s true, just like we do. Kelly is happy that she’s finally being heard, and that she finally feels like she made a stride toward positive change.

THE SMILE OF A HERO

Up in the glam rock spaceship, Nyxly sees the energy return to her crystal ball, and now knows where to find the Courage Totem, which I’m sure will be fine and great and chill.

When Lena gets back to her apartment, too late to help her friends, she finds the Book of Shadows waiting for her; there’s no return address, but I have a feeling it’s not from the Charmed Ones.

I hope she teaches it to answer to, “BoooOOOoook” a la Hocus Pocus.

This last scene with Kelly was so poignant that I didn’t know how to describe it but luckily Nic came through yet again with this beautiful description of it.

We get to spend more time in silence with Kelly than I think we ever have. Silence as she stared at herself in the mirror; silence as she carefully wrapped up her hair for the night; silence as she sat in the weight of her feelings. It’s a beautiful minute of television where the audience gets to watch this Black woman just be with herself. That’s it. Just…be. It’s a luxury we’re often not afforded and Azie knocked it out of the park.

When Alex comes in, she reiterates her desire to be an ally for Kelly in every way that she needs. And somehow, with both love for her girlfriend and respect for herself, Kelly makes it very clear that just because Alex and the Super Friends are ready to jump into action doesn’t mean that Kelly can process everything in this moment. She needs time, she needs to be, and she just needs the love of her life to hold her as she lets all of the feelings she’s been holding in flow right out of her.

And so Alex does just that.

“Lie in my arms while you’re sleeping, and think of the rivers you’ve crossed, I’ll tell you the dreams I’ve been keeping, for moments like this, when your hope is lost.”

That’s where the episode ends. I loved this episode, I think it was important and meaningful, and while I wish this was a topic the show took more time to unfold and talk about instead of cramming it into a few episodes at the tail end of its final season, I’m glad the conversation is being had. And I’m glad they’re making sure the people telling those stories are the right people. The people whose stories they are to tell.

I’m so grateful to Azie for doing this work, because it benefits so many people. It benefits the people who will see themselves reflected in a hero on this show in a way they hadn’t quite seen before, and it benefits those of us who still have blind spots we need to continue to uncover and unlearn. And I know for a lot of the people here on this queer website page, a lot of the lessons this episode was aiming to teach aren’t exactly new, but it never hurts to be reminded. And I can’t help but think of people like my dad, who is open to learning about his own biases but isn’t on Twitter or even the internet at all really to learn from peers, to do the work, the way someone in my generation (and younger, obviously) might. And episodes like this of the shows he loves do teach him things; I’ve had him report racial disparity stats to me he learned from shows like Station 19. So even though the power siphoning metaphors were maybe a bit heavy handed, they weren’t wrong, and I think we could all use the reminder to look outside our own circles now and then.

I’m feeling great about this stretch of episodes and I find myself giddy for the next episodes, for more Guardian, for Witch Lena, for everything, in a way that I haven’t felt in a long time.

See you next week for some over-courageous mayhem.

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