A+ members can ask the senior team literally anything (it’s a benefit that comes with membership). While we can’t always answer each and every query (we’re only human), Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us is where we respond to all the questions about our business, editorial direction and general thoughts / opinions on stuff or things you had a burning need to share. We think this will be a lot of fun for the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

Have you noticed if/how people are finding Autostraddle in different ways now? Is it mostly through an AS article being in the top google search results, and then people stick around and keep reading on the site? Or does sharing on social media (Twitter? Lol maybe not anymore??) still help bring in new readers? I’m curious what, if any, changes you’ve seen in the past year or two about how readers find AS.

Carmen: Hi, yes! It’s always a combination of all those things! Google is of course more popular than ever in how anyone finds any website, not just ours, though it is also true of ours. John Oliver actually did a segment on this recently that was really good for anyone curious (he’s talking about Google/Amazon prominence in shopping on the internet, but the lessons about how SEO and our Google overlord effect small businesses are evergreen and applicable to us). Anyway, yes! The biggest differences are that with better SEO training we are able to bring more people to our site that way, but also with better traffic monitoring tools like Parse.ly we can see all the avenues people come to us — Google, Social Media, Direct Shares, etc — at a glance which really helps us sharpen skills. In terms of social media, Facebook and Twitter remain steady, but Instagram is incredibly popular! Which has increased every year and I think will continue. Hope that helps answer some of your curiosities! I could go on about it forever.

Hi there! It looks like early To L and Back episodes are no longer available on Spotify, Apple, and Overcast. Was this an intentional choice, or do these platforms cap the number of episodes they hold? I know I’m not alone in enjoying an occasional re-listen of the old episodes!

Riese: This has been fixed!

Is there a way to change my Autostraddle username? I joined Autostraddle in high school and picked a super embarrassing name which also gives away too much of my personal info and I’d love to get a new one

Nico: Yes! Email me :)

Is anyone else having issues with the like button for comments?

Viv: I didn’t! Maybe try refreshing your cache and/or cookies.

Nico: And it never works for meee. I’ve asked Yikes about it but idk I think it’s just going to be buggy for a while.

I love the pretty packaging the fundraiser perks came in! Such a fun surprise in my mailbox.

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

Just finished The Light Pirate by Lily Brooks-Dalton.
Florida Dystopian novel with unexpected queers as the main characters. Relationship doesn’t pop up till the end though.

Kayla: Sounds cool! I’ll check it out, and since it just came out last year if I end up feeling like I have something to say about it, I’ll write about it!

Heather: Okay I just looked it up based on your recommendation and “Told in four parts—power, water, light, and time—The Light Pirate mirrors the rhythms of the elements and the sometimes quick, sometimes slow dissolution of the world as we know it”???? SOLD!

Had the itch to go back to Riese’s deep dive on race and the oscars after seeing headlines that Michelle Yeoh is the first Asian American woman nominated for Best Actress. And then also had a moment today of thinking “This must be the first time two lesbian movies are nominated for best picture at the same time, right?” and then spent some time re-reading Riese’s great analysis of queer actress oscar nominations. Anyway, just wanted to say I’m so grateful to Autostraddle for all of the great data analyses — it’s truly the online place that consistently has the best and most clearly explained data analysis! (And I went through the Wikipedia article on LGBTQ academy awards, and found out that I was wrong: Black Swan and The Kids Are Alright were both nominated in 2010)

Riese: Thank you so much!!! Also yeah, Michelle Yeoh is not the first Asian American woman nominated for Best Actress, but I understand why people don’t know that since the actual first Asian-American woman nominated for Best Actress was not openly so. I feel similar itches to see all the numbers on everything and get into the data and I feel most grateful for my job when I am able to do that for Autostraddle.com and then I can reference my very own data when I am trying to understand something! And then last year it was very helpful because everybody’s headlines about Ariana DeBose were wrong and I was able to do a little mini deep dive on that! But your mention of two lesbian movies nominated for the same year is quite honestly making me feel like there is another data compilation requiring my attention….

Since Drew talked about Some Like It Hot as a trans rom-com for Newfest 2022, I wanted to share that a new musical adaptation of it is currently on Broadway at the Schubert Theatre until September.

Sweet Sue, Sugar and Jerry/Daphne are played by Black actors NaTasha Yvette Williams, Adrianna Hicks and J. Harrison Ghee (and both Ghee and the character they play are nonbinary, there’s a whole coming out song).

Tickets in the balcony from the theater’s site (with fees) start at $67 so I could actually afford to see it.

I personally enjoyed it (and really loved Ghee’s portrayal of Daphne) even though I have some criticisms.

Kayla: Very cool, thanks for the tip! Every time someone talks about a theater thing in New York, it makes me a little sad to no longer be in New York lol WHICH IS NOT YOUR FAULT but yes just being honest about my feelings!!!!

Carmen: Hahahaa, Kayla! Same. (But if you’re in New York or live there — there’s a lot of ways to see Broadway shows on a discount and you absolutely should. There’s nothing like it.)

Check out HBO’s The Climb. There is a trans man, Cat, kicking butt. Not only that, I feel like this show demonstrates that all kinds of bodies can compete with one another in a really challenging sport.

Kayla: I don’t really watch this kind of TV but I have a lot of friends who would like it who I’m gonna rec it to!!! I love the work Stef Rubino has been doing here to demystify strength training and what makes “strong” bodies.

Heather: Oh, I’ll tell my wife about this! She LOVES rock climbing stuff, especially if there’s an LGBTQ component.

I saw this and my brain went “Oh Vanessa would love this!” as if we were friends 🙃 now I have to share it!

Vanessa: oh my god?!?!?!?!? okay first of all i must own this and second of all can i respond to this person? if i can please tell them OH MY GOD THANK YOU I AM PUTTING THIS ON MY WEDDING REGISTRY AS WE SPEAK ❤️

Is anyone on here watching The Circle season 5? Good queer rep this season. Love Sam, such a cutie.

Riese: We sure are!

omg this article! I now immediately want to read the book quoted throughout, entitled “Abolish the Family”. I really recommend this piece for the whole team, and also for all of AS’s readers.

Heather: Yes! I read so much about Damar Hamlin after his cardiac arrest and this was one of the best pieces to contextualize that whole mess. It’s obviously broadly applicable outside the NFL — not just in sports, but corporate environments, activist groups, everywhere. Thank you for sharing it. Let me know if you read the book, and what you think of it!

ooh ok so i have recently discovered the difference between “committing to moving my body” vs “committing to LISTENING to my body about when, how much, and how i wanna move, and not.” the 2nd on is SO much better. it varies wildly over the course of a month but i move a lot more and a lot more happily and pain free this way. like a child, if I force my body to move when it doesn’t want to, it wants to move even less. if i ignore my body when it DOES wanna move, it stops telling me. shout out out to Well for Culture podcast by Chelsey Luger and Thosh Collins for inspiration about this! and my beautiful queer ass workplace for supporting me taking breaks anytime.

Anya: I love this! And honestly, I’m gonna keep this in mind for myself! I think you’re totally right — I like the idea of thinking of this as listening to my body rather than obligating my body. Thank you!!

Laneia: Oh man this is coming in as I’m on my… second? month of not moving my body after committing to and succeeding in moving it on a regular basis for nearly a year, which I was really proud of! It was really working for me! Until I got some upsetting news about a family member, and then about 20 other things rolled in after that, and I just couldn’t do it. (I couldn’t do a lot of things!) And have been feeling pretty shitty about not making time for it, but then also doing that thing where you’re afraid to try to get back into a routine because what if you fuck it up again? Do you know what I mean? I think that’s some level of perfectionism, if I’m to believe the many self-help/mindfulness podcasts I listen to. Anyway thank you! Apparently I needed to get this off my chest wow.

Kayla: My relationship with movement is constantly in flux, but something that has been hard about moving to a place with less walking infrastructure is having to be way more intentional about walking. When I lived in Brooklyn, walking a few miles a day happened without even trying for me. Now, I have to plan (and yes listen to my body about it!).

Viv: I’m glad you found a helpful and gentle guide for movement. My friend who is also a dancer once said movement is also about “greeting the body” and that’s stuck with me enough to exercise consistently since last November.

Nico: I love the idea of “greeting the body” Viv! Also, in general, here’s to listening to our bodies in 2023!

Just wanted to quickly say that “I hate New Year” is everything I (as a lesbian person) ever wanted from a fluffy romantic movie!

Heather: Aww, I love that! I love fluffy and romantic! Also, there aren’t a whole lot of great New Year’s movies, are there? Probably my favorite is the 1992 ice skating masterpiece, The Cutting Edge.

Oh, did we know about this? Lesbian poetry from 1586!

Nico: When I shared this with the team I was THRILLED. Listening to the video was also such a treat. Thank you.

Anya: Oh my goodness I definitely did not know about this! So cool!

My partner sent me the fucking cutest website, Queering The Map, where the map is covered with pins that each have a little queer story 🥹🥹 and you can add your own!! seems especially lovely for anyone feeling alone in their queerness.

Nico: This was really sweet and I loved looking at my region and reading folks’ stories.

Space Sweepers (2021) on netflix has a trans robot character and is also an incredible movie!

Heather: SPACE SWEEPERS?!?! You had me at hello. Adding this to my list immediately.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but I dreamed that the New York Times put a paper grocery bag of 9 kittens on every doorstep to promote subscriptions.

Anya: Plz circle back when this dream is a reality, I’m eagerly awaiting my allotted kittens

Nico: Honestly this would be a better practice than their rampant transphobia. (JK gifting animals is bad.)

But have you seen The Sad Bastard Cookbook???

It is available for free in e-copy under creative commons.

“Life is hard. Some days are at the absolute limit of what we can manage. Some days are worse than that. Eating—picking a meal, making it, putting it into your facehole—can feel like an insurmountable challenge. We wrote this cookbook to share our coping strategies. It has recipes to make when you’ve worked a 16-hour day, when you can’t stop crying and you don’t know why, when you accidentally woke up an Eldritch abomination at the bottom of the ocean. But most of all, this cookbook exists to help Sad Bastards like us feel a little less alone at mealtimes.”

Most recipes in it do not require measuring because authors ‘do not take measuring ingredients lightly.’ They have ‘bottom-tier’ tips to make it even easier (chocolate pudding made from swissmiss!), and ‘god tier’ tips (put fresh fruit on the pudding!). Highlights include Rachel’s “Three Meals a Day are Cognitive Overload” Shopping List & Weekly Menu.

Kayla: Love this! I also don’t often measure (or measure well) when it comes to cooking, and I love cookbooks that are more freeform. I’m a weirdo tho and when I’m sad I personally like to cook really elaborate, complicated meals haha.

Laneia: Wowwww so my #1 sad meal is jasmine rice with soy sauce, which is deeply comforting in its plainness but also not very nutritious, so I’m bookmarking this for some inevitable future sadness that I can’t wait to sit in and feed myself through! (I can wait, please don’t come for a while thank youououuuu.)

Anya: Oh my what a beautiful step up from my go-to of mac-n-cheese with broccoli in it, which I’ve now made enough times and have become obsessed with so it has elevated from “sad meal” to “regular meal I look forward to”. Is that a good thing or a bad thing???

Viv: Team Ramen ftw!

Nico: Wow coming to this question having just eaten a nice and totally nutritionally complete dinner of rice + butter.

I loooved Women & Children First’s holiday gift guide and thought you might too!! (The oldest feminist bookstore in Chicago 💓)

Kayla: Cute!!!! Fun fact: I used to live really close to that bookstore <3 I miss Chicago and my neighborhood in particular!

Viv: Nice! Thank you.

I had a dream that I said something was a “pissing contest” and then Kristen Armett said “I prefer the term ovary competition” but I woke up before I could ask her what that meant 😂

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION / ARTICLE IDEAS

as a sequel to the A+ article about your favourite sex toys – I would love an A+ article about how each of you store your sex toys! I’m so nosy about how different people do it.

Nico: THAT is interesting! I bet people do have all sorts of different strategies.

I’ve been thinking a lot about aromanticism recently and searched the AS archives to see what y’all have published but didn’t find much. I feel like I’ve read some cool things on being gay and asexual, but not so much about being gay and aromantic. Would love some content from some dyke aromantics on what it’s like to only be interested in sex/platonic bonds in the context of being a lesbian (where the assumption is that we’re very emotional, romantic, into lovey-doveyness etc). Thought it’s interesting on a bunch of different levels.

Kayla: Thank you for bringing this up, and we will keep it in mind! In the meantime, if you have any specific questions about aromanticism, you’re definitely welcome to submit A+ advice questions (I know that isn’t exactly what you’re looking for, but I just thought I’d mention it!).

Love the puzzle content–thanks for this brilliant addition. Weirdly I cannot find that first Old Hollywood one anywhere?? so cannot confirm, but in my mind it was a degree or two more challenging than most of the Saturday ones we’ve had since. I love a doable crossword, love to feel competent, and ALSO like the feeling of accomplishment that comes from struggling through it a bit sometimes, which makes me wonder: what if like once a month (last Saturdays) the A+ puzzle was a little bit harder, on purpose? Is that a thing we could do?

Laneia: I’m so glad you like themmmm! And here is the very first Old Hollywood crossword from Rachel Fabi. I reached out to Rachel and Brooke to ask about more challenging puzzles and they’re going to flag the ones they think are a little harder than the others, but they added that difficulty is super subjective and everyone’s mileage may vary!

They also recommended some other crossword puzzles y’all might enjoy:

Queer Qrosswords — These benefit LGBTQ charities and there’ll be a lot of larger puzzles that are just as gay as the ones we’re running. Rachel contributed to QQ2!
AbortionPuzzles — These fund abortions and Rachel and Brooke edit them!

Would you guys ever consider doing an LGBTQ+ scholarship resource list for your high school readers?

Kayla: This is a really cool idea! I’d love to in general have more resources for high school and college folks.

I am SO curious 👀 to learn what (if any) opinions the Autostraddle team has on the Lex redesign.

Laneia: Ummmm. Hm how to say this. Um I think it’s always wisest to pay attention to people when they call you out for inaccessibility, especially when they’ve come to you with specific examples of your shortcomings and helpful tips for how to correct them! That is what I think! I met my current girlfriend on Lex and she is so smart and pretty!!!

Kayla: I’ve never been on Lex, but I have had a…interesting! time going through recent Instagram comments on their page about the redesign.

Nico: I heard about it but haven’t witnessed any of the redesign for myself, but honestly I should probably test it out as I proceed to figure out our TBD low-tech A+ personals situation.

Would Autostraddle ever consider hosting a class on queer film/tv history, or maybe like an online film viewing and discussion afterwards? I’d totally pay to listen to Drew and Shelli talk movies for an hour+ 🤩 or attend a series on Drew’s “Thirsty Classics” writing!

Nico: Classics are So Thirsty. There’s a great deal of material here. Also, our writers are fab.

Kayla: AREN’T OUR WRITERS SO SMART AND TALENTED? I too wanna learn from them all the time. This is a cool idea!

Heather: Oh wow, I — like Kayla — would actually love to attend that class! This reminds me that one time I did TV trivia with Riese where I asked her all the questions from A-Camp’s TV Trivia game, like a hundred-plus questions, and she got EVERY SINGLE ONE right. It was one of the most masterful displays of smarts I have ever seen.

Please can someone write an article about Sohla El-Waylly’s mean femme top energy on The Big Brunch thank youuuuuu

Kayla: At the risk of upsetting people……..I couldn’t get into this show I’m so sorry! I can revisit.

Heather: YES. I LOVED HER. I hadn’t known her before that, but now I feel like I know everything about her, watch all her IG videos, and would campaign on her behalf to be a judge on any cooking competition OR the president. Either one. Both. Anything in the middle.

First of all, thank you for everything you do! I love Autostraddle. But I wanted to share that in some of Autostraddle’s beauty and skincare coverage, I feel that there’s an assumption that everyone wants for the same things. When y’all talk about products (e.g. sunscreen, face wash, moisturizer) and routines (e.g. regular face washing), there’s mention of those things being necessary to give an even skin tone, prevent premature aging, prevent skin cancer, etc. The skin cancer risk is one thing, but the rest seem to basically boil down to “you might get wrinkles or acne.” But some people don’t mind wrinkles or acne! The beauty industry has worked really hard to conflate appearance with health, and sometimes I feel that Autostraddle coverage can buy into that narrative somewhat.

I love your focus on body positivity, and I’d love to see that extend to faces with wrinkles or acne or other “unattractive” things that are actually totally normal and healthy. I don’t wear makeup, and that’s a big part of my personal feminist and self-care practices. I hope Autostraddle can leave space for folks with similar experiences.

Kayla: Hi! I totally respect your practices and outlook on beauty, aging, etc., and I can assure you that here at Autostraddle we’re not anti-aging. That said, our skincare and makeup articles are definitely written with an intended audience of people who like to buy/wear these products. I know these pieces tend to be written to a plural “you” but that is not meant to be universal as in literally everyone but rather the intended audience(s) for the pieces, and it’s just the point of view that those types of shopping/product pieces tend to be written in. It’s already somewhat difficult to address ALL perspectives when it comes to beauty pieces, so the specific perspectives usually come down to who’s writing them. We make a point to delineate between Health articles and Style/Beauty articles (and in fact they exist in different parts of the navigation on the site). But I totally do hear you on wanting to hear more from folks whose practices align with yours! I’m totally down for work that embraces wrinkles, acne, etc. and welcome folks to pitch along those lines!

Carmen: Hi, I’ve actually been sitting with this question a lot, so I want you to know that I’ve taken it very seriously.

I’m really proud of the beauty content that we publish, because we are one of the few publications that have the vast majority of our beauty content published by people of color (that isn’t a magazine serving a predominately Black or POC audience, like Essence, etc). That’s a big deal! And as such, it’s a purposeful, feminist practice. As a magazine with a Black femme EIC, it’s particularly tied to my own feminist practices.

There are lots of ways that people choose to cloak, adorn, make up, or otherwise embrace their bodies, and I support all of them — and also for a lot of people of color, there are social politics and respectability politics that have very real bearing on our lives that do also often require that we approach questions like “make up” and “bare skin” differently than white peers. In fact, my biggest wish is that we’re able to bring in more masc POC to write about skin care!! We haven’t yet had much luck finding writers for that, but that’s a place where I am very much interested in growing.

I say all of that because I have also noticed that when we publish beauty pieces from these perspectives, we receive a steady (but small!) stream of comments that seem to question why they’re here at all or to tell us that publishing such pieces brings up feelings of discomfort. Because of all the reasons that I’ve discussed here, those comments can also feel like microaggressions or policing.

As Kayla mentioned, the pieces on those topics are written for their intended audience. If embracing make up or particular kinds of skin care is not a part of your queerness or feminist practice, it’s absolutely ok to not read those pieces. It’s my hope and goal that you’re able to find something else in the quilt of Autostraddle that aligns with how you walk in the world.

All that said! I’d also like to directly answer the question you asked — yes, we can definitely be more vigilant to make sure that the ways we are writing about products are not ageist or promoting “wrinkle reduction.” (I don’t believe that we have? Because that’s definitely a red flag for me, but if we did that’s because it slipped through the cracks or because my expectations were somehow not clearly communicated to other editors.) It’s certainly not our intention, or what we stand for as a publication.

I hope this isn’t too silly of a question, but do Niko and Nico pronounce their names the same way? In my head I am saying them the same, and I realize pronouncing things not aloud maybe doesn’t matter, but I’d love to honor them by pronouncing their names correctly, even if silently.

Nico: I have been assuming we are both NEE – KOH
Niko: i am also a KNEE-COH
Nico: LMAO

To Whom It May Concern (Heather Hogan), this is pressing, have you been given early access to ‘That ’90s Show’ and if so can you deny or confirm whether Leia Forman (daughter of Eric and Donna) is in any way queer.

Heather: You know what? She should have been! It’s bonkers that she wasn’t! The show would have actually been so much better – and made so much more sense — if she had been. I actually really enjoyed it, weirdly, but the whole time I was wondering the same question you just asked!

Have any of you babes made the jump from Twitter to Mastodon? It’s very queer here and I would love to follow some straddlers!!

Kayla: I haven’t made the jump yet, mainly because I’m one of those people who doesn’t understand how it works. Would love some help in that department lol.

Heather: I tried but I couldn’t figure it out so I just gave up. Maybe someone should teach us! Maybe it should be you, friend!

Could 2023 be the year for a comprehensive ‘Cynthia Erivo Is Queer And We Knew It’ timeline?

Carmen: Maybe? But also I think part of the way that timeline would work (if it were to happen) would also be about how she came out publicly in the UK years ago, and for some reason it never really stuck in the US. I have a few theories about that — One, I find that Black and other POC femme bisexual/queer artists tend to have to come out multiple times before queer websites pick up on it (this has also happened with Cardi, Megan thee Stallion, and Shay Mitchell), which I think is saying something about how POC queeerness/femmeness is read (and ignored/dismissed/assumed) by white gaze. But also two — maybe since the first time she came out, it was in the UK, it didn’t cross over? It’s probably a combination of both these things to be honest. And a few other things I won’t get into here.

Anyway, very happy for Cynthia who is living her truth publicly.

Where can I find Riese’s interview with Kate McKinnon?

Riese: You can’t! Shortly before her addition to the SNL cast was announced, she wrote Robin (who did the photography for that interview) and asked if we could take the interview down because she wasn’t very press-trained at that point and regretted telling some stories that she’d told, so we removed it. It wasn’t anything problematic or offensive, just personal! But you can still see the photoshoot.

After watching “Glass Onion” I have a burning need to completely make my style Benoit-Blanc-in-Greece. Style Thief article, please!

Kayla: Omg yes it’s a vibe. Christina’s Bird Cage style guide might hold you over in the meantime.

what are we gonna do, as lesbians, when gen q is inevitably not renewed because it is objectively bad? i don’t want to wait 10 years for the next revival. when is someone going to make a lesbian ensemble show that just like…makes sense and runs for 20 seasons like grey’s anatomy?

Riese: Well, if it is not renewed because it is bad, I am going to be very upset for so many reasons. I cannot even imagine the joy of a show that makes sense and runs for 20 seasons like Grey’s Anatomy, but I do wish I could be personally writing that show. The cast is so great! There is so much talent there! I do think honestly that Season Three was mostly better than Season Two, with the exception of the lack of sex scenes and Gigi’s unexplained absence. I think this show and franchise has so much potential and I genuinely have so many ideas for how it could live up to it. And it’s disappointing when it fails short. And will be even more disappointing if this is the end of it all!!!! I know that there’s a lot of things happening behind the scenes that I’m sure make my easy fixes more complicated than I think they are, but there are so many areas that could be so easily remedied.

Laneia I am genuinely so so mad at the writers this season. Like I never care about these things — I am a CASUAL VIEWER for the most part! — but this season was so disappointing to Me, a person who’s been alive in the world ever, and done things, and talked to other people?? All of which it seems like these writers have no experience with?? BUT ANYWAY I’m sure they’re very cool very great people over there! This is not a personal attack! EVEN THOUGH THAT SEASON WAS.

Kayla: I do indeed prefer when television shows make sense.

Heather: I’m just gonna go back and reread Riese’s recaps over and over until I have them all memorized like her original ones. That’s what I’m gonna do.

Viv: I think we could petition them to put Riese in the writer’s room maybe.

Riese: THANK YOU VIV!!!

Nico: At least the original season was exciting. At least they did things, they had aspirations beyond finding “the one,” they attempted to distill the queer culture in a certain place and a certain moment even if it was sometimes more of an attempt than an actuality. They had multiple characters who went through a coming out period and it feels like in Gen Q like…everyone is just always out? Which we know is not true.

My partner and I would like to request a style thief article for the different characters in Warrior Nun (namely Beatrice!). Thanks <3

Kayla: I’ll take this into consideration!

Heather: Okay hear me out: What if you start with… a sword!

Nico: I could make adding swords to my outfits a habit. 😉

Anyone else watch the Weird Al movie and notice the extremely self-conscious parallels to queer/trans storylines, especially in the first third of the movie?? The reason i’m asking autostraddle is because I read and enjoyed Niko Stratis’ piece on Weird Al on some other website lol. But I haven’t really seen any pieces talking about like, the very literal closet stuff! thanks <3

Nico: I watched the Weird Al movie and yes, I would say that there is something there, right?

Hi there, the recent gift guides and queer owned businesses list made me think of this: would it be at all possible to do a one-time international article that features online shops within the EU (just speaking for myself rn, but there could also be links in it for UK, Australia, Canada, online shops in Asian and African countries)? I would love to use affiliate links from AS for my online shopping, but being in Europe makes this harder. Thanks!!

Kayla: I don’t know enough to know if our affiliate networks that we use include international companies, but if they do, I’m not opposed to this idea!

Thank you so much all ppl involved in making as exist and available and so awesome! I read it every morning and it really makes me feel so supported and seen and it makes me laugh and feel empathy and love and loved and part of a healthy, smart, funny, kind queer community. Yay!!!!

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

Not sure if this is the right place for this… but I am doing it anyway lol.

A few months ago I decided to talk to my therapist about hiring a SW to create a safe space for my first real sexual experience. One of the biggest barriers was having no idea how to even navigate this process as a queer woman. Right after the session after 2 failed googled attempts I thought to myself “Autostraddle must have something on this” and in 2 seconds I found your article from September on how to hire a SW and all of a sudden it didn’t feel quite as daunting.
I recently went through with it and after I was a bit overwhelmed and found your article “How to Have Lesbian Sex For the First Time.” While I wish I had the foresight to read this BEFORE the experience, it still really helped me wrap my head around what I was feeling.

I have been a Silver Level A+ member for 6 years and there are often stretches when I rarely visit the site (I hope that’s not offensive). But every year when my subscription is up, even if I haven’t been to the website in months I never think twice about renewing. Because I always come back here and find thoughtful, informative, and funny pieces about topics that don’t exist anywhere else. I can’t imagine navigating being queer in this crazy world without you guys.
So thank you!

Vanessa: i am EMOTIONAL

Laneia: I love this for you!! Thank you for still being a member after all these years, even if you rarely visit, which isn’t offensive! 💛

Kayla: This is so meaningful and kind, and thank you for continuing to be a member! And ya I am not at all offended you’re not a frequent reader; supporting us via a membership is SO GENEROUS AND HELPFUL!!!

Carmen: This is so amazing. Thank you for letting us know, it means so much. Really! Truly! And I am so happy for you!

Nico: Thank you so much for reaching out to let us know!! I personally support several publications that I don’t read every day, but that I know will be there when I need them. Like my local NPR outlet! I don’t religiously read every single article, but when I want to know about things of local importance like the East Palestine train derailment, for example, they’re there (in part because of my support!) and I can turn to them. Thank you for supporting us so we can be there when you (and others) need us!

All that is to say, I love this for you so much and am sending you tons of love and luck on your journey!

To Stef — your essay about strength and fatness was everything. As someone who has also had a very fraught relationship to exercise over the years, who inhabits a fat body, and who also wants to be strong as fuck — I felt super seen by your words (and inspired by how much you’re lifting, like holy shit). Rock climbing has done something similar for me. My big-ass, strong as hell legs have gotten me far, and I feel proud of them.

Stef: thank you for this!! actually lifting as this came in, lol. i’m so happy it’s being received so well!!

Kayla: I can’t wait for more missives from Stef on their strength gym experiences!

Nico: I love Stef writing about exercise. MORE PLEASE.

Just googled varied combos to find ‘Hooray It’s A Party! A Queer Holiday Horror Tale‘ for a friend who had never seen it who it just became screamingly extra relevant for (except sub “Bodleian Libraries!” for a party) and it really really helped soothe her and I just wanted to say across the decades y’all never miss

Laneia: LOVE TO BE OF SERVICE FOR MANY YEARS.

Kayla: THIS WAS BEFORE MY TIME AND I HAD NEVER READ IT????? WHAT A TREAT

Carmen: THIS IS ALSO BEFORE MY TIME AND I HAVE NEVER READ IT!!! What a world!!

Nico: I am incredibly grateful you have brought this to our attention!

Riese: THIS WAS GLORIOUS AT THE TIME AND REMAINS SO

Hi my wife and I screamingggg at the tv right now – we just watched the first two episodes of The Parent Test (after getting bombarded with commercials for it on Hulu) and I need to know if any of the parents here at Autostraddle have watched it and what you think of it (!?) I would pay good money to read a queer parent’s take on this show.

Laneia: Well excuse me I’m going to watch these first two episodes and then report back here.

Nico: Y’all be sure to ask Laneia what she thought in the comments.

Hi! Just wanted to say I feel like I’m seeing more asexual inclusion on the site these days, and I really appreciate it! I’m currently questioning whether I’m on the asexual spectrum, so it’s nice to feel like Autostraddle will be there for me regardless of what the answer to that question ends up being.

Laneia: This has made me emotional.

Kayla: Yay! Ro has sourced a lot of great pieces for their beat from asexual POVs.

Riese: I love this for all of us!!!!!!!

Love love love the puzzles! Perfect brain cleanser. Also love the decision to use the excerpt space to parse out a recipe. Puzzle within a puzzle! Next level: bake the recipe and guess what it was for! Send in pics with your guess

Laneia: Well I can tell you what my cake was for, and that was breakfast which, by the way and not that it matters but, I baked in the morning on a weekday while my girlfriend, who had just moved in with me like three days earlier, was working, and weirdly enough the sounds of a stand mixer whirring and several stainless steel measuring cups being tossed into the sink was apparently very jarring and not “conducive to work,” so. Just for the record. Just something to keep in mind if you ever want to bake a morning cake on a weekday.

Thanks to Riese’s finely tuned gaydar that somehow picked up on “queer vibes” in A Storm for Christmas, I just binge watched the series and loved it! Several characters turn out to be gay in surprise reveals at the end, so I don’t know how she managed to detect those vibes!

Nico: Riese’s gaydar is so on point.

Riese: THANK YOU so much! It is truly simply just so many years of experience — including the experience of most networks refusing to give us a heads-up about any queer content so I have to do a ton of digging myself, and there are certain things that tip me off.

BLESS AUTOSTRADDLE FOR BEING READER FUNDED!!!!

In my work, i get some front row seats to ppl asking for $ from the ‘benevolent’ among the billionaires. it is a DISASTER. ppl don’t become billionaires by understanding and meeting oppressed ppl’s needs folks! much better to fund ourselves. I know it’s hard but we really can only rely on ourselves & each other.

Love you allllll <3 <3 <3

Laneia: Couldn’t agree more, benevolent non-billionaire! It is hard to really admit that we can only rely on ourselves and each other, but it’s also extremely empowering to step out into the world with the intention of showing up for each other every single time that we can, and then not feel ashamed to ask for that help when we need it.

Kayla: Laneia really said it perfectly. It’s scary and empowering to know we have to rely on each other for shit!!!!!!

Carmen: Yeah, I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Nico: As someone who’s worked in nonprofits and/or fundraising for over a decade, YES. Each act of support is part of choosing, collectively and individually, to keep this space here for us simply because we want it to be that way. No one is giving this to us. We are building it brick by brick ourselves. I am so grateful we aren’t controlled by an out-of-touch board, that being reader supported gives us serious editorial independence and the ability to publish pieces that are important, not just clickey (although there is also a place for distraction and vapid fluff, too).

My ladyfriend and I are on vacation and have spent the most cozy morning catching up on the crosswords. They’re really enjoyable and the people making them are doing a wonderful job, I hope you continue making them!

Laneia: HELL YEAH, thank you !!! You’re the reason we can continue making them. 🥲

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