A+ members can ask the senior team literally anything (it’s a benefit that comes with membership). While we can’t always answer each and every query (we’re only human), Some Answers to Some Things You’ve Been Asking Us is where we respond to all the questions about our business, editorial direction and general thoughts / opinions on stuff or things you had a burning need to share. We think this will be a lot of fun for the whole family. We’ve included as many questions as we can. We love you and your hair looks fantastic today!

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MERCH, BUSINESS AND TECHNICAL CONCERNS

Was wondering if you’d ever make some explicitly AS-branded merch? The stuff you currently have is great and I dig the creative designs, but realized I’d really love to rep this place with something that actually says “Autostraddle” – ideally something wearable. Let us tell the world how much we love AS specifically! Thanks for your consideration :)

Riese: We have done this in the past, we did a long-sleeve tee that I personally adored and wore all the time but it wasn’t a big seller! I’m definitely down to try it again though!

Love the option to support Autostraddle through Bookshop, but it seems that it’s only on the US version of the site. Could AS add a Bookshop UK storefront?

Kayla: My truthful answer to this is I don’t know!

Riese: I will look into this!

Will the Gay Chaos tank come back in stock? I set a thesis-writing goal around buying it for myself as a reward, but now it’s sold out :(

Laneia: Hello hellooooo it’s me, your shiny new Official Merch Person at Autostraddle, here to say, “Probably!” and also “I mean, I don’t see why not!” But, more important: CONGRATS ON THAT COMPLETED THESIS!!

How do the groups work?

I joined a few groups and can see who has joined and I’ve the ability to post comments, but nothing else like a chat function or anything.

Nico: They doooooon’t unfortunately! The groups function was vulnerable to infiltration by bots and people started getting spammed with messages from porn bots specifically, so we had to disable the groups function. BOTS ARE WHY WE CANNOT HAVE NICE THINGS.

Website comment: In the columns menu, queer horoscopes submenu: When you click on queer horoscopes, it shows recent queer horoscopes, but the most recent ones displayed are from 2021. Just wanted to alert you that the actual most recent ones are not showing up there. Also maybe you could consider displaying the queer horoscopes and tarotscopes in the same page? That would be a delight. Thanks!

Carmen: Ack! That’s just a hold over from whenever we last changed the menu organization/site structuring for Google. I don’t have the power to change it on my own (we’ll need Riese for that!) — but in the meantime if you click the menu button that says “more,” a dropdown menu will appear and one of the first ones will say “Astrology and Tarot.” If you click that, the up-to-date horoscopes will show up first thing. And you’ll also find tarotscopes on the same exact page! Which was already your wish! Boom! Like magic!

Riese Actually this note alerted me to the fact that there are only two (2) columns in the columns drop-down that are being actively updated at this time sooo I just removed the entire thing and will return to it at such time as I have a new plan for it! Also that particular menu wasn’t good for SEO anyhow so!!! So yeah, the way to do it for now is the way that Carmen suggested!

I wish we could see a quick list of all the quiz results after the quiz, especially when they are book and video game recommendations.

Kayla: I understand! Sometimes the authors of individual quizzes put the full results in the captions. I will consider adding all the results when you get to the result landing page. For some reason, to me, that seems antithetical to the function of the quiz and makes it just seem more like a list, but maybe I’m wrong! Maybe I’ll try it out once and see what I think from there.

An unsolicited merch suggestion: black (so it goes with everything) ball cap with contrasting color embroidered text “THEY” (could be a pronoun or an obscure/pretentious band) in interesting but legible font (as much as I love an extreme goth/metal treatment, those can be hard to read). Alternately: “themself” which is both goofy and grandiose (and also good for annoying grammar pedants). I feel like there’s a lot of “they/them” stuff but it’d be cool to have something that’s not as overtly My Pronouns (but also not *not* indicative of pronouns). Thanks for your time!

Laneia: Thank you for this suggestion ! I’m having my gnomes run the numbers and get back to me.

Ok I have a random, minor/not pressing question: Is there a way to update my time zone? For some reason whenever I comment, the time stamp is 2 hours ahead of my current time. I looked around in my A+ profile and I can’t for the life of me find anywhere this information is housed 😂 halppp!

Nico: Actually, there is not. We all must all succumb to Autostraddle’s default timezone: Pacific Standard Time. I believe in us though! I’ve been going to 11am meetings that are in fact at 2pm for nearly four years at this point. Who doesn’t love simple mental math?

I just watched Magic Mike XXL for the first time and Drew was right.. it is one of the best heterosexual movies of all time 🤩 Why and how is it SO good?!?

ALL-CONSUMING NEEDS TO SHARE

UHHHHH I just had an all-consuming need to alert other gays to this.

Anya: Absolutely incredible photograph. I can’t wait to see the Barbie movie!!

Carmen: Oh wow! (also cannot wait for this movie.)

Nico: CANNOT wait for this movie, have been enjoying the memes in the meantime.

Hot gay tip. El Fin del Amor on Amazon Prime. Centers on 3 friends, all of whom are queer in different ways. Features a trans women who hooks up with a cis woman. Other notes = jewish stuff, who am I without a relationship stuff, mum stuff, breaking away from norms around family stuff. Bingeable and queer af!! I watched it all in 2 days.

Kayla: Sounds so good, I’ll check it out!

Anya: Ooooh I want to watch this!

Carmen: Yeah this sounds great!

Watching the movie “Sensitivity Training” on Kanopy and when the protagonist searched “how do lesbians have sex” the screen showed an Autostraddle article as part of the search results! The specific article is “How to Have Lesbian Sex 102: Cunnilingus Edition”. It was a fun catch in this random movie!

Kayla: OMG!! That’s incredible!

Anya: I love this!!

Carmen: Obsessed. Autostraddle in the wild!

Riese: AHHHH I LOVE THIS

Nico: Incredible work everyone. Truly excellent form.

Just dropping a tip that there seems to be a queer character in the FOX series Animal Control. Victoria (played by Grace Palmer) has not been shown paired with a woman yet, but is implied as bi/pan when sharing her male coworkers’ obsession with the hot female vet.

Heather: Thank you for the tip, I’m on it!

hot lesbian soccer mom alert

Heather: Excuse the PK out of me, that is the most adorable thing I have seen all week! She was like, “No, thank you, these smell gnarly, mom!”

Nico: Lol this is not what I expected to see when I clicked on a link described as “soccer mom.” ANYWAY this is adorable as heck.

I am reading The Disordered Cosmos: A Journey into Dark Matter, Spacetime, and Dreams Deferred by Dr. Chanda Prescod-Weinstein. I did not know she is QUEER & AGENDER!!!! And talks in the book about how queer physics & the universe are!!! So it can go on Queer Science Books Lists!!! Thanks to Laura Mandanas for including Dr. Prescod-Weinstein in a STEM news roundup & to a reader & Carmen for introing talking about her in an A+ post <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Carmen: This is awesome!!! I’m glad you were able to read more of Dr. Prescod-Weinsteins work, isn’t it so good!?!?

Kayla: Yes! We got a request recently for a popular science book list, so I’d love to get that together soon.

I know that some of you will be interested in this.

Carmen: Rest assured! BRANDY RETURNING AS CINDERELLA is something that has been talked about in multiple Autostraddle slack spaces already. It’s personally something that I think about at least once every few days? And every time, I’m so profoundly grateful we’re gonna get to witness it in real time. The idea that this entire time the Descendants trilogy was actually all just a prolonged sequel to Brandy’s Cinderella is really just so, so good.

wanted to amp 3 indigiqueer films that I’d missed that came out the last couple of years.

Pure Grit – “Growing up queer on Wyoming’s Wind River reservation, Sharmaine Weed has faced more than her share of troubles-but her love of extreme bareback horse racing has sustained her throughout. ” Trailer. It is on Apple TV, Vudu, Freevee, Google, PrimeVideo, and Itunes.

Wildhood ( in Autostraddle’s 2022 list) is still available on Hulu. Trailer for Wildhood. Synopsis here.

Also Uýra: The Rising Forest is on PrimeVideo. In it, Uýra, a trans Indigenous artist, travels through the Amazon on a journey of self-discovery using performance art to teach Indigenous youth that they are the guardians of ancestral messages of the Amazon Forest, and confronts transphobia.

Thanks to Indian Country Today as always for this list.

Nico: Thank you for these recs!!! Excited to share them here <3

Hello friends! I don’t know if y’all have anyone specifically on the UK beat so it is reasonable that this hasn’t been covered – it’s probably pretty irrelevant to most readers, but I just found out Love Island winner Amber Gill is dating Scotland and Arsenal football player Jen Beattie! It is making me feel all sorts of warm feelings that a woman who was crowned the winner of that aggressively heterosexual competition show has found love with a hot football player. We are truly taking over! If they do anything newsworthy perhaps we could get a mention of this UK news on my favourite sapphic site.

Heather: I’m sorry WHAT! Yeah, you sure can get a shoutout for this, and, in fact, you’ll probably have seen the shoutout by the time this is published! Thank you for this tip that flew under our radar!

A civil partnership bill has been registered in the Ukrainian parliament! Some good news out of Ukraine. Here is an ig post about it from Kyiv Pride (the only lgbt org I know in kyiv). I’m pretty sure this is because of the increased western influence on Ukraine (so the war is actually improving things for queer people funnily. I know this because I’m Ukrainian-American).

NIco: Fingers crossed! I know we’re always interested in hearing from folks living in the Ukraine (and generally not US) about the situation for queer rights on the ground.

Wanna encourage US people to check out :

EBPREC’s board is 6 Black and Indigenous women, and 2 of them ID as queer in their bios. If you have $1000 you don’t need for another 5 years; want concrete things to do about the US housing crisis and/or support Black and Indigenous collective land ownership; and live in Alaska, Arizona, California, Colorado, Connecticut, Delaware, Georgia, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, Michigan, Minnesota, Missouri, New York, North Carolina, Oregon, Pennsylvania, Tennessee, Vermont, Washington or Washington D.C, then you can 1) fill out a form at https://ebprec.org/investor-owner, and 2) send a check for $1000 (or more if you have it)! Then in 5 years (or more if you want to wait) you can most likely probably have those $1000 back, maybe even plus a few more because they plan on a 1.5% investment return. Meanwhile those $1000 are helping keep land and housing out of bilionaires’ hands and supporting affordable housing with flexible rent payment timelines.

Nico: This is Very Cool. Thank you for sharing!

What a delight to hear Niko on the You’re Wrong About podcast! I did not think I cared about the history of Napster, but I loved how she presented the timeline of events. Yay for AS writers doing other cool things!

Niko: Oh this is so lovely!!

I just learned about the CARI website (Consumer Aesthetic Research Institute) and it seemed like something Viv, Riese, and others would enjoy!

You can search design styles by decade and keyword. I’m learning the actual names of all the aesthetics/color palettes that pop for me!

Nico: Tag yourself. I’m Neon Ooze.

Kayla: Omgggg this is v useful for my wedding aesthetic planning ahahaha.

Laneia: This will seriously improve my playlist cover images going forward.

Carmen: Can confirm that Kayla and I have already started consulting this database in our work for the website. Thank you so much!!

Riese: You are correct I do indeed enjoy this!!!!

MerakiTay is a Black queer owned clothing brand and they now sell boxer briefs with fabric for a pad!!

Carmen: I love Black queer owned business and also boxer briefs, so as you can imagine, this news has meant a lot for me personally.

This one is for Kayla specifically:

Tin to Table: Fancy, Snacky Recipes for Tin-thusiasts and A-fish-ionados

Kayla: Yes! I have Anna’s lasagna cookbook (highly rec), and I’m looking forward to this one.

StopCopCity Mass mobilization in ATL May 4 – 11th. Many organizers (like Tortuguita who was killed) are queer and CopCity is a direct attack on Black organizing in ATL. This is against “Police Foundation” vehicles for corporations funding mass militarization and surveillance that must stop in ATL before they spread to other US cities & beyond (Color of Change sponsored a report on corporate funding of these).

Nico: Okay, so, I think that absolutely everyone should read this report. It’s like 42 pages before the appendix but it’s broken up with visuals so not so bad. Likely, you DO already have a police foundation in your city funneling dark money into purchasing police dogs and horses, security cameras and other crowd suppression weapons. SECONDLY, yes to everything you’re saying about StopCopCity being a direct attack on Black organizing and the Black people of ATL. Also noting from looking at the week of mass mobilization that there will likely be events / efforts in solidarity in cities across the US in May, so I encourage folks to look out and plug in. For those looking to make the trip to Atlanta, the next week of action on the ground is June 24 – July 1.

ADDITIONALLY, because so many protesters are getting domestic terrorism charges and likely will continue to (which I talked about a little here but TW: this is an article following the mass shooting in TN), there is a huge need for support and there likely will be a deep need for support for activists during and following the week of action at the end of June / July. One place that I know offers bail and legal support to protesters (who are not terrorists but who are merely daring to exercise their 1st ammendment rights thanks) is the ATL Solidarity Fund. If you’re a lawyer who can practice in Georgia, pro bono defense attorneys are needed, especially, and the ATL fund has a way you can get in touch with them. I know that a lot of people are looking to the protests in France, for example, and wondering why we can’t do that in the US, and it’s really apples and oranges in terms of what we’re each dealing with, but the thing is, I think we in the US have a lot of work to do when it comes to building up our solidarity practices and make them a part of our daily lives. There are still protesters in prison from the 2020 uprisings. We need to take care of our activists if we want our movements to succeed or if we want to even just stick around ong enough to keep trying even when we fail — and that includes looking out for political prisoners who are currently incarcerated (methods for supporting political prisoners include jail support such as commissary support, letter writing, legal support, etc.).

Any Poog-hags in the house? I believe that Kate Berlant (funniest person alive) is dating Roberta Colindrez (hottest person alive). eeeee

Carmen: If that’s true, I’m happy for them both!

Saw this and figured there would be some interested folks among the Autostraddle readership!

Kayla: Oh you better beliiiiiiiieeeeeve I have my eye on this.

Hi Autostraddle, perhaps this site is interesting to you and your readers: https://butchisnotadirtyword.com/

Nico: Yes! I believe we’ve linked to them several times. I also met with them once when they were working on establishing their member program ;) They’re good people and I got a number of their print mags as a gift for my girlfriend. We love Butch is Not a Dirty Word around here!

I just wanted you all to know that I regularly come to the advice box, start writing a question, and in the process of explaining the problem for the specific audience of Autostraddle writers, I see it more clearly and figure out what I need to do on my own. I think that means A+ is truly helping my personal growth! So thank you. You’re all the best. :-)

HAVE YOU WRITTEN ABOUT THIS / I NEED INFORMATION / ARTICLE IDEAS

Hey everyone, please watch/maybe write about Kill Boksoon on Netflix! Beautiful movie about a Korean assassin who also has a gay teen daughter.

Maybe make sure a writer with a good tolerance for blood watches it tho

Kayla: Writer with a good tolerance for blood is meeeeee. Sounds cool, I’ll check it out!

Nico: Lol Kayla. Sounds fun!

I want Carmen’s take on Ariana Debose in the premiere of Schmicago!!! that drag moment *eye emoji*

Carmen: Ok so here is where I’ll admit that I’m actually not the biggest Schmigadoon fan, so I had to do a little googling to answer this one and wheeeeew. Sheesh. You know? Just like. As a queer woman of theater kid experience, respectfully. RESPECTFULLY. I simply gotta say: [redacted] [redacted] [redacted]

This is gonna sound stupid but are hippos gay? Are there lesbian hippos? Do lesbians like hippos or am I just a weirdo? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE HIPPOS ARE CANONICALLY GAY

Kayla: I famously know almost zero animal facts, although I cannot tell if you are asking about literal homosexuality in hippos or like conceptual. Conceptually, I’m going to go with yes hippos are gay.

Carmen: I’m agreeing with Kayla that Hippos are conceptually gay, and I’m going to one up by saying that I believe that all animals have the potential to be some kinda gay, because what are we if not also animals?

Nico: As heterosexuality was really a thing invented by humans…I think most to all animals fall under the umbrella of being queer? I DO know hippos are vicious. Queer hippos bash back etc etc.

Alrighty, I’ve got a styling request for the lovely fashion people here at Autostraddle dot com: In honor of the Barbie movie trailer dropping and looking like Iconic Cinema, can I get some suggestions for Plus Size Barbiecore (But Make It Workwear)? I work at a library, so it hasn’t got to be business casual, but it has got to be the kind of thing that doesn’t require a strapless bra (or at least can get a blazer thrown over it to hide my bra straps).

Kayla: Hmmmm okay this does give me a potential idea for a Barbiecore miniseries geared toward Barbie in different work situations HMMMMM.

Nico: I would be very here for some Barbie content. I dreamed I got dressed in Barbie-core, thanks to this question actually. The sunglasses were incredible.

Hello! Just out of curiosity: what/how is the editorial team thinking about the role of ChatGPT and similar systems in media, going forward, and for Autostraddle specifically?

Kayla: I don’t see it as wholly bad nor wholly good, but my feelings are perhaps too nascent and incomplete at the moment for me to really go into depth about what that means here. My coworkers are probably smarter about things like this!

Nico: ChatGPT currently kind of sucks at creative work atm still. I did try to get it to write some L Word episodes and it sure did not. Much like AI situations that create art tend to add a lot of fingers and too many teeth or have no comprehension of how humans eat spaghetti, the AI truly did not understand how people move through time and space or like, what compelling storytelling really is. During one hilarious prompt it failed to understand what a love triangle is and instead interpreted it as a throuple. I mostly worry about the fact that it’s creative theft as the AI is fed work that already exists and was created by humans.

I DO think that ChatGPT or similar could be used to detect things like plagiarism, or to rapidly scan / analyze text for research purposes. It is also good for coming up with silly brainstorms, but truly, anything it’s “good” at comes from information that’s being scraped from somewhere else…so humans had to create it in the first place.

I agree with Carmen that the use of AI and its impact on our lives is up to the whim of a select few people, and that whatever happens, I think we’re going to be in for a not-very-fun ride in general just because it is being developed and adopted and integrated into our world by unregulated corporate decisionmakers.

Carmen: I agree with Nico’s concerns about creative theft! And there’s also quite a few lawsuits already in the works that prove those concerns to be very founded. Beyond that, I have a lot of worries about the lack of regulation in generative AI as a whole? And even more worries (on top of those worries!) that we don’t have proper people in place in government to begin even having the conversations around regulation, let alone enacting them. Not to be all “boomers are ruining the world” (anyone can ruin the world, at any age bracket)but whenever these topics come up, I think about how often we have seen that congress people do not unuderstand the basics of tech at all. And then I stare into the distance while I start imagining what life will be like under our new robot overlords.

More seriously, John Oliver did a special on Chatbots and generative AI recently and it was both really sobering and informative, both in terms of what’s possible and where the concerns are. So I’m also suggesting that too!

Riese: Honestly so much of the internet already feels like it’s written by AI I cannot fathom how much worse it’s gonna get! Chat GPT was useful in brainstorming names for lesbian chapsticks?

Was there a column at one point on this website that was like “I Want to Get Into _____” or like “How do I get into____?” And it was a crash course in a topic or hobby? Maybe I dreamed this??

In any case, I’d love to learn more about getting into candles! I want to be a Candle Gay! 😅🕯️ Where to start? I’ve heard wood wick candles are better (?) and what’s the diff between buying a soy vs. beeswax candle? What kind of fun candle accessories are out there? Any queer/BIPOC candlemakers I can support with my gay dollars? Really strong, cloying scents can give me a headache sometimes so I’m looking for candle recommendations that are more in the vein of subtle/natural scents, if that’s a thing(!) Any and all insights are appreciated, thank youuuu! ❤️‍🔥

Kayla: It’s posssssible you’re thinking of my series It’s Time To Get Into, but that wasn’t geared toward hobbies; it was geared toward grocery items and low cook/no cook food and snacks. I tend to buy my candles at Target and Michael’s so I’m probably not the most helpful in that realm, but maybe we can get more specific candle content up on the site!

Carmen: As a certified candle gay, I recommend buying all the candles. Both as a lifestyle (you cannot have too many candles), but also because the more you buy and use candles, the more you’ll learn your preferences as you go? Like I do love a wood wick! But they tend to be more expensive in my experience, so I save them for special occasions. Conversely, I only ever had to burn one “floral scented” candle to know that I hated it (the migraines it caused!) and never did that again! My preferences for smells tend to be more quote unquote “masculine” which is a designation I don’t love because I don’t think candles have genders! But the people who make the candles disagree with me!

Anyway, when I say “masculine” I do mean more of the sandalwood, cedar, burning embers, tobacco, fireside variety. Laneia has been trying to convince me to buy the very fancy Boy Smells candles (see what I mean about gender and candles?) and they have one that’s named after Grace Jones… so I just might have to do it.

Riese: I think we should make candles that’s my new idea for how we can survive as a company, plz share your ideas for scents you would like us to produce in the comments thank you

Nico: I think if you have a local candle company (the Lavender Menace candle was made by PGH Candle), then you can go visit them and talk to a person, get some recommendations, and then support a local business! I def think that Yankee candles suck and why would you spend that money on such a big company? Witch shops also tend to carry some of my preferred candle fragrances, although once I bought Frankincense candles from these nuns and they were a steal. (Not linked because they don’t have them anymore.)

So I read one day an article here titled something like “living like a pisces”, or “being a pisces”, or “how to be a pisces”, from like 2017 or 2018 probably

I loved it so so much that some words from it stayed with me till today (there was something along the lines of jumping on your bed then being lost miles away, I think a bit about falling in love not happening randomly but by having breakfast and being aware of that? but not sure about this bit) and I’ve been searching for it forever since.

I think the article is down, and I don’t remember who wrote it… This has been heartbreaking, and every few months I think about this and wish I could reread it. Anyway… Is the article still up? Am I just clumsy in looking for it? Any reason why it was taken down you could share?

Any info would be very helpful in getting some closure, and please send my warmest vibes to the author of that piece! It spoke to my essence better than most words I’ve ever seen put together <3

Nico: It wasn’t this article by any chance, was it? Usually old articles are still in the archive (very rarely are things taken down), but it can be difficult to find something without knowing exactly what it’s called or who wrote it — I agree!

Dear Autostraddlers,
I’m a non-binary person and a long covid hauler and over the past years I’ve found immense confort in your coverage of the covid pandemic.

I remember reading an article a while ago written by a long covid hauler who had been sick for a while and was learning to live with her condition. There was talk of pernicious anemia and B12 shots, fancy colorfull compression socks and also a travel by plane I think. In my memory it was by Heather Hogan but I might be mistaken.

It was not this one which I read several times, but something further along the road, published maybe in 2021 or 2022.

I’ve been searching for it to re-read it as I’m longing for hope in the worsening of symptoms that follows my second infection and I remember it contained some hope. Could you help me find it ? Or maybe it was depublished for whatever reason ?
Thank you !

Nico: Thank you so much for writing in. I’ve rounded up some of our Long Covid coverage for you in case that helps. There’s this article by a long-hauler from the series How to Survive a Post(?)-Covid World. There is this piece by Himani as well. And finally, there is this recent article by Heather, if that’s helpful?. There’s also this A+ advice piece that Heather wrote about chronic illness more generally.

Heather: Yes, that was me! Oh, friend, I am so sorry you’re having to navigate this thing too. I am sending you so much love and solidarity. Also! All my amazing compression socks are from ProCompression! They’re my favorite because they have so many colorful options to choose from, are constantly adding new patterns and styles, and they’re also always on sale! Never buy ProCompression at full price. You can always get them for like 40% off. Just visit the site and you’ll start getting ads all over your social for amazing deals, or use the pop-up offer (they always have one!) when you first pull up the site.

Please accept this as my formal request for a style thief piece on Valentina from “The White Lotus.” :D

Kayla: Ooooo this sounds perfect for summer tbh!

LOL sorry I’m high and I saw this and thought of Heather saying that cat’s tongues are “rough as sandpaper” ! 😂

dinner pic.twitter.com/2t5WzBW3gr

— JP (@jpbrammer) February 22, 2023

Kayla: SCREAMING

Heather: I don’t know what I thought this link was going to be when I clicked it, but not this, and I bark-laughed so loud, my (non-chocolate-covered cats) all jumped.

You have the “this thing changed my life” series (which I love, and I immediately bought the earplugs from that, as I had been wanting essentially that for years and not gotten around to researching)

What would change my life in this sense is a garlic press that is actually easy to wash, and my dishwasher will actually get clean. My dishwasher is very new and wonderful, it is all the fault of the damn garlic press. You have multiple cooking dykes as writers – I would love it if you tested out garlic presses and reported which was the easiest to wash
Thanks for all you do!

Kayla: OMFG OK WHEN I FIND ONE I WILL LET YOU KNOW!! THIS HAS ALSO CAUSED ME A LOT OF STRESS IN LIFE. EVERY GARLIC PRESS I BUY SUCKS. I JUST GOT ONE AT IKEA AND I HATE IT. THE ONLY GOOD ONE I HAVE FOUND IS OWNED BY MY MOTHER AND SHE DOESN’T REMEMBER WHERE IT’S FROM AND I CAN’T FIGURE IT OUT. I AM THIS CLOSE TO STEALING IT. Anyway, I will do more research and then hopefully provide you with an answer and myself with some relief.

If you feel like sharing (and same for commenters??), do any of you live with a partner but you do your own laundry and your partner does theirs? I won’t tell you whether it’s me or my partner that thinks this is a bananas idea, so that it’s totally scientific.

Kayla: I live with my fiancé and she does all of our laundry. When we lived in Miami, I did all of our laundry because she didn’t want to move into a building that didn’t have laundry in-unit but I fell in love with a place that had communal laundry in the basement so I promised her I would do the laundry every time to mitigate her dealbreaker. Now that we’re in a place with laundry, she’s doing the laundry again. But yeah we don’t do it separately! I’ve heard of people doing it that way, and while I don’t judge, I do think it’s odd personally and that’s just me being completely honest with you. Like, what’s the reasoning?

Anya: Well Kayla I’ll tell you the reasoning — when Jess and I moved in together we each had a hamper and for some reason, each brought the hamper. So now we have two hampers for some reason, and we keep clothes separate. But the funny thing is, if I have time to do laundry, mine will usually take a whole load, but then while that’s in the drier I’ll put Jess’s in, and she does the same for me. So the clothes accumulate separately, get washed and dried separately, but all go through the process together — as if this system makes LITERALLY ANY SENSE AT ALL! All of this to say, we have big plans to re-do our clothing storage, and the plan is to get one nice hamper, and get rid of the two that we’ve been using for so long now, so when that happens, I think we’ll switch to doing laundry together!

Nico: It’s ALL MIXED UP TOGETHER. Sometimes I do laundry but more often than not my fiance Sadie does it. We also share certain items with each other (like a lot of our socks don’t exclusively belong to one of us, we trade a particular button-up back and forth) so it makes sense that clothes are just kind of all done together. Sometimes one of us borrows a tee from another.

Now that Catapult is closing :( where else are some of the team’s favourite places to go online where I can read short stories and personal essays?

Kayla: Joyland, Lit Hub, Electric Literature, Ploughshares, Bomb, Gulf Coast, Ninth Letter. I also gotta shoutout TriQuarterly!

I (and many other people I know) are really missing Things I Read That I Loved! Is Riese interested in bringing it back, or, alternatively, is there a methodology for going about finding good longform articles on the increasingly impoverished internet?

Riese: I should bring it back, you are correct! The thing is that it used to get like 5k hits pretty consistently, but after I stepped down as EIC it would get more like 2k-3k hits? And I was like maybe people just aren’t reading longform like they used to? Or is it because I was doing it less regularly? Or people NO LONGER CARE WHAT LONGFORM I AM READING? I don’t remember why I started doing it less regularly though, that whole period of time is a weird blur. I think it was maybe ‘cause I was just reading more books. But if a lot of people tell me that they love and miss something I will do it!

Nico: Riese I distinctly remember you telling me that you were reading less longform because you were reading more novels as you worked on your novel.

please help, I am remembering a shirt with the pun 7-11 lesbian (7elesbian?) and I don’t know where it came from. Was that something Autostraddle sold at one point? Where can I find one of these shirts?

Kayla: This actually has nothing to do with Autostraddle! It was limited edition merch for my fiancé Kristen’s chapbook of the same name, and I believe all the proceeds went to charity (maybe she can chime in in the comments with more background lol hi Kristen she reads everything on Autostraddle). I only have one because I stole it from her!

Krista Burton’s book about lesbian bars is available for preorder! I am in nostalgic hope of some fun coverage on AS.

Kayla: We’re very much on it :)

Hi everyone, I always enjoy reading the Autostraddle Reader Survey results, they are so funny and interesting. So my question is: will you publish more results from the Reader Survey of August 2022? I loved the article on the 68 gayest ways people met their partner(s) and the one with 46 ways readers explained their sexual or romantic orientation, and would be absolutely thrilled to read more results, as I am a nerd that way.
Thanks!

Riese: Yes I think so!

Nico: Yes, we just haven’t had the bandwidth yet!

Any chance that the A+ community bookshelf might be refreshed / updated? I may or may not have been keeping a list against that eventuality… :)

Nico: This! Is an awesome idea. Thank you for bringing it up :)

Could we form Words With Friends groups somehow? I have only played with bots and strangers…

Nico: I feel like if you come to the June Pride A+ popup discord server (TBA), that you can probably make a request in the gayming channel and see who wants to join you :D

Is there a gay basketball movie?? Like…Love & Basketball but gay? Or do I just need to follow more WNBA players on social media and turn that into a movie in my head?

Heather: Oh friend, there is so much glorious gay drama in the WNBA you won’t even have to make up a movie in your head! Just follow the players and the league and the movies will spring to life before you!

Riese: There’s a documentary called No Look Pass (2011). The Disney+ show Big Shot is about basketball and does have queer characters? But yes there is a gap in the lesbian basketball cannon and I hope SOmEbODY fixes it.

Does anyone else just…. not having a morning or night routine? I do the same basic stuff but not necessarily in the same order or on the same days. Is this super chaotic of me?? Can anyone relate?? (I feel like the TikTok morning routine videos have melted my brain a little maybe??)

Kayla: Meeeee! I’m the same way! Routineless! Chaotic! Making it up as I go! Different every night/morning! Here to validate you.

Carmen: I am extremely rigid about my night routine!! And if I don’t do the same things, in the same order, every night I cannot fall asleep — period. I haven’t been able to get into a morning routine yet (I think because I’m not a morning person?) but I think having one would make my days go 100% smoother. HAhahahaaa sorry I realze the shorter answer to your question is just “no, I do not relate.”

Nico: I have “routines” that I think are routines but are actually just endlessly shifting circumstances and approaches to the problem of waking up and going to sleep. So…no, though I will often say I have a routine, this might be self-deception.

Y’all continue to slay on the Carol alt texts, bless you. Opened the “our wives under the sea explained” 🐠👭newsletter in my email rather than mobile so the Carol pic loaded before I could read the alt text SO I did that “Inspect” option to see if the html or whatever maybe had it and INDEED IT DID. I pursue those alt texts across time and space, they are so funny and accurate. Thank you for those needed LOLs.

REALLY NICE THINGS YOU TOLD US

Omg I just read in Laneia’s email that today is Viv’s last day!!?! VIV!!!! 😭Just sending you all the best wishes for whatever’s next for you and thank you as a reader for how beautiful and creative and wild and weird and gorgeous you made the site!!!!!! 💚

Kayla: WE LOVE VIV!!!!! I truly cannot imagine the past year without their creative imagination on the site!

Carmen: I already miss Viv’s work on our website!!! I learned so much from them in the past year! Also, truly, not a funnier person. Their creativity and impact on our visuals is going to reverberate for a very long time.

Nico: I truly loved Viv’s artwork and they are missed but I also hope / believe they’re having a good time in Berlin!

Would somebody please tell Heather Hogan that because of her I started reading the Graceling series and I CAN’T STOP. IT’S SO GOOD. Thank you Heather!

Heather: AAAHHHH! YESS! Okay! Okay! What book are you on? And what are your thoughts so far? And who are your favorite characters so far? And what character reminds you most of yourself so far? I am heart-eyeing you but with my real eyes!

I just want to give everyone, especially Nico, Carmen, and Riese mad kudos for all the care, thoughtfulness, and transparency you’ve infused into the comment threads on all the fundraising articles. Like really really taking the time to engage with people, answer their questions, inform, be curious (even when ppl are coming in kinda hot and unjustly accusatory IMHO)! I can’t imagine the workload y’all are shouldering right now in addition to just like, living your life and dealing with life stuff. Anyways, I just wanted to give you thanks/send virtual hugs/ and please know that if Autostraddle had a physical office I would def be dropping off some celebratory cookies or other treat for you amazing people!!! 🌈💝😅

Carmen: I am also here to just really shout Nico out for all the public education that they have continued to do around fundraising. I have learned so much from them.

Riese: Thank you this warms my heart deeply!!!!!!!!! And i Love cookies

Nico: Thank you so so much for seeing that. It’s so much time and work but that’s just The Way We Do Things Around Here! We explain things, and listen and engage and I think that’s, in general, part of what makes Autostraddle so special and worth preserving. Thank you for the virtual / spiritual cookie wishes. I am sure they would be delicious!

doing what you do for autostraddle WHILE constantly having to justify the monetary value of it WHILE not knowing for sure for sure you’ll have payroll in 2 or 3 mos is just woahhhh a lot. yalls fun + fortitude is out of this world!!! much love – you go this on the fundraiser!!!

Kayla: <3333 thank you so much for this very thoughtful and generous message!! And thank you for supporting us in this dream.

Carmen: Everything that Kayla said. We wouldn’t be able to do this without you, and that is never lost. Not once. Thank you.

Nico: Thank you, thank you, and thank you again. We could not do it without you!!!

Just wanna say Nico is awesome and I am so thankful for their leadership and skills during this fundraiser! My world is a better place because they are in it.

Nico: DO YOU WANT ME TO CRY (complimentary). My world is a better place because you’re in it, too. <3

Omg the ALOTO news 😭I’m so disappointed! 4 episodes to end it all is such a disservice!! Thank you for putting a post up so quickly, and with such deep, gorgeous writing from staff about the impact of ALOTO on all of you. (And giving us the space in the comments to process and share, and hopefully make an impact!)

I’m curious, is this something we could do for other queer shows that are in danger of/close to being cancelled? Do you all have the ear of other TV shows’ teams where we could make an impact like this by sharing our voices and experiences of the show?

Carmen: I wish we had the ear of Jeff Bezos!! I have a few things I’d like to talk to him about. Tell him to come outside.

(No but seriously, the thing we can do is keep publicly writing about these shows! And giving them generous, thoughtful, critical reads on our platform! The thing that you can do is also share that writing, because it amplifies the reach. In general the golden rule for media strategy should be “Keep the show’s name in front of people’s eyes to help generate buzz.” There have been times when a strong reaction from critics and strong fan ties have made the difference on “bubble shows”! It really can make the difference. Even if it didn’t quite work out for ALOTO in the way I know we all wished it had. )

I just want to say hello and I love you and I think you’re all doing a great job ❤️❤️❤️❤️

Nico: Hello I love you too!

Kayla: Thank you!! Hello to you, too!!

Carmen: I hope you had some water today! Don’t forget to hydrate, you’re doing great!

I wasn’t able to join the birthday AMA but I just finished catching up on all the comments and wow, what a great series of conversations! Thanks for sharing all that stuff yall, and many happy returns!!! <3

Nico: Thank you so much! I adore our annual tradition of chaotically posting enough comments to temporarily break the website, too. (LOL). It’s always so fun and thank you to everyone who participated!

Kayla: Thank you so much! This AMA was a blast, as always!

Carmen: Yes, thank you! I hope you had a beautiful Autostraddle Birthday, wherever you were!

I am super grateful for the recent blossoming of autistic references/perspectives/content at AS – both focused articles, and just weaving it in as it comes up — esp from Lily & A. Tony — thank you thank you thank you!!!! hoping for moreeeee if you wanna share!!!!!!!

Nico: Heck yes! I’m really glad you’re finding work that resonates with you here. That’s always our goal <3

The Exoskeletons book club was so much fun! Thank you for making it happen!!

Nico: Hooray!! We have TWO more coming up including Meg’s next week. See y’all there?

Heather, after I asked you what video game to play after Pokémon Violet, I’m here to report my update! I replayed Pokémon Y with an all-fire-Pokémon team (my fave type) and let me tell you some of it was hard (a rock gym?! An elite four who trains water types?!) but I ultimately had a blast! And THEN I started Ni No Kuni – Wrath of the White Witch. I’m only about 30% of the way through (I think) but you were SPOT ON with this recommendation! It’s very similar in a lot of ways, the art is gorgeous, and it’s very cool discovering a world other than Pokémon. Oh and I also bought Breath of the Wild but I’m making my partner play that one first so she can help me through it when it’s my turn 😛 Thanks again!

Heather: Okay I can’t even tell you how happy this makes me! Ni no Kuni Wrath of the White Witch is so underrated and I love that you’re loving it! Breath of the Wild is going to be endless fun for you and your partner because A WHOLE NEW GAME is coming out in May! And you gotta tell me about your all-fire team! Fire are my favorite Pokemon too. In fact, even though I wasn’t crazy about Fuecoco’s evolutions when I first saw them in Violet, he ended up being one of my all-time favorites. Skeledirge is such a badass! Torch Song? Come on! You almost can’t lose a Tera Raid with that unless you’re up against — lol, as you said — Rock and Water! Plus he’s always so happy on picnics when I give him a little bubble bath!

The puzzles are the first time I’ve enjoyed crosswords ever after always wanting to like to doing them. Also have brought me back to as more frequently <3

Carmen: I have to say — because we have the data!! — that you are not alone. A+ members are a core demographic of the people who are doing the crosswords. Fun fact!

Omg the thought and care y’all put into planning these A+ in-person meet ups! 💕💕 Thank you Em, Shelli, shea, Nico, and all!

Nico: Thank you so much!! I think the Pittsburgh one will actually be at end of May, so Western PA people stay tuuuned.

just sending you all extra love & fortitude for comment moderation <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Kayla: <3 thank you!

Carmen: <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Nico: Always a wild ride! I recently was deleting spam recently when I saw a comment from a “John” that read “This site is refreshing! And I’m strait!” been thinking about him.

I’ve been loving all the LGBTQ+ elders content. Give me more please.

Carmen: You are so welcome!! We definitely have more in store.