So much excitement we had to split up the Televisionary into two this week! So this is part one for “scripted” TV shows, with recaps of Weeds THE LESBIAN KISS EPISODE, Nurse Jackie, Drop Dead Diva and True Blood. And also, your Hot Girl of the week is ALL THAT. Also Zoey is our favorite.

Methodology: For GLAAD’s third annual report, we divided our analysis of reports into two sections (network & cable) and found neither section provided statistics that specifically addressed lesbian, gay and transgender characters as independent groups, therefore requiring us to read every word to get some info about the ladies. We suspect this decision was made because lumping gays, lesbians, transpeople and bisexuals together makes it less depressing.

Greener Pastures, The Alexandra Billings Story, and the HAIR revival on Broadway!

“Free as a bird, it’s the next best thing to be.”

Bill Clinton, Dick Cheney, The Muppets, Typical Straight Guys, Douglas F. Gansler, public school administrators and Christine Quinn all like us — and um, Obama declares gay pride month?

“In addition to sending us 50 emails a day, Joe Solomnese has been making secret deals with Washington — namely, to prioritize the hate crimes bill and the employee non-discrimination act over “Don’t Ask Don’t Tell.”

“Living here and having grown up here you almost forget it’s so different. I never had to worry about walking down the street with my girlfriend holding my hand. And if this show — if me coming out — helps one person, then it was worth it.”

Chandra is not a lesbo, the prom queen is a boy, Alexi is wearing Dol-chay, Sotomayor hates bloggers, Obama may or may not care about the gays, Lambert may or may not be out and your girlfriend is pregnant, no lie.

“It’s a tiny tiny tiny fraction of our population, one or two percent has this particular orientation and they dominate, dominate, dominate the news, it’s amazing.”

We all know that foreplay’s what this show does best. Like a twatilicious lover, The L Word relishes in getting us all riled up and subsequently leaving us alone and naked on the couch with a lukewarm Dos Equis and tears in our eyes. “High and dry” I believe it’s called.

“To many young gay people, the passage of Prop 8 was shocking but not alarming,” writes Mark Harris in New York Magazine’s “The Gay Generation Gap,” published two weeks ago in the magazine’s special Pride Week Section. Harris continues: “It has jolted them into action, but one suspects it’s out of a Milk-fed belief that identity-politics activism can be ennobling and cool.” Ouch! One suspects that one is being unfair to us! One suspects that if we’ve managed to make activism “cool,” then that’s a BIG SCORE! — but wait. Before you get too excited (as we did), there’s no need to be offended ’cause this shit ain’t about you, woman! … so we decided to ask ourselves: Is there a Lesbian Generation Gap?” Special roundtable participants include Grace Chu of Grace the Spot, Haviland Stillwell and Riese’s Mom!

“Until we engage the communities of Middle America, we will not achieve full equality in California.”

“The mayor of San Angelo chose not only love, but also honesty.”

June 28th, 2009. Autostraddle Disco Rodeo. The girl-on-girl party of the century. Hot cowgirls, sweet prizes, party photographers, drink special, DJ Lady Starlight and a mechanical freakin’ bull.

The entire team pitches in to recap True Blood, Ten Things I Hate About You, Masterchef Australia, Intervention, Nurse Jackie, Weeds, Gimme Sugar, Ruby Rose’s new project “The 7 PM Project,”

Rachel Shelley tells Diva how Alice & Tasha do it, Wanda Sykes & Obama do funny, Adam Lambert does Entertainment Weekly, Advocate does 40 under 40!

Sunday is supposed to be the happy day, so that wouldn’t be the time to ask you “Why Is Obama Deleting His Gay Rights Support from the White House Homepage”?

“This should be obvious, but GLEE IS THE BEST THING EVER. Srsly, you guys. It’s soooooo good. The only crappy thing is that we have to wait until the fall to see more episodes!”

Empire Pride makes fun of NOM, but with logic instead of jokes. Everyone loves Jennifer Beals. Can psychiatrists cure homosexuality? No, but that doesn’t mean they won’t try.

Lilith Fair will be back next year! Iowans exercise their right to marry.