This week on Glee, Will raps twice, the same things that usually happen continue to happen, everyone speaks in metaphors, The Lynch wears a zoot suit, and Carlytron cries a thousand mashed-up tears.

Alex & Riese cartoon recap their NSFW Friday night in Las Vegas because that’s what they did instead of writing this, and there were topless ladies dancing there. Also; porn bingo for LGBT rights, feminist porn, BDSM for ladies, hand-bras, and so much more!

The history of lesbian closeting in Hollywood — and why, even today, so many lesbians prefer to stay in the closet. Also a Desperate Housewives lesbian storyline mini-cap, Tila Tequila’s Australian karaoke, an amazing Taylor Swift parody and Lindsay Lohan’s new interview.

New NOM ad to stop gay marriage in Iowa, Lesbian couple tossed from church, Guiding Light spin-off features lesbian storyline of Natalie & Olivia, Olivia Wilde & Claire Danes strike a pose, Caster Semenya gender saga & Skanks in NYC saga continues, Lady Gaga will wear her new dress tonight.

Caster Semenya is on suicide watch, Jessica Simpson lost her lesbian dog, and we don’t like Kate Moennig’s haircut for Three Rivers. Oh, and yodeling lesbian twins!

Research shows that lesbians make better parents, and “pro-family” groups get upset when research shows that lesbians make better parents. Also, trouble for the Houston mayoral candidate, gay gene testing forbidden and new strategies for Prop 8.

In Tim Burton’s “Alice in Wonderland,” our little Alice is all grown up — into a feminist heroine. And it’s about time.

According to the pro-DADT “logic,” there’s really no reason for lesbians to get kicked out. A straight male tells Autostraddle his opposition to DADT. Also; anti-homophobia ad hits production snag and The Lunar New Year’s gay inclusion.

Obama, we give up with you! Mia Kirshner wants you to come to her book party. Cherin Dabis interviewed in NY Mag, Katy Perry knows Lady Gaga is starting something, New York Times Magazine interviews Hillary Clinton, the Save Bryce campaign faces challenges and Time Travel Thursday!

Showtime has greenlit nine episodes of The Real L Word: Los Angeles,” from L Word creator “Ilene Chaiken” and reality producers Magical Elves (“Top Chef”). reality show. Perez Hilton gets a free pass on misogyny … why? How Do You Like Us Now? Not so much, apparently, as the National Review has a new trend piece about … wait for it … being against gay marriage!

How Do You Like Us Now? Tuesdays! Angelina Jolie Uncensored Gia, Lesbian Pron Tax, Melrose Lesbians, Lady gaga, I Met My Lesbian Lover at Cowboy Bible Camp and right-wing bigots trying to ruin our lives in Washington and Massachusetts, rearing up to fight in NY

Happy New Year! Happy Palindrome Day! They’re giving “The Babysitters Club” a makeover and not the Claudia kind! Are you still hung over? Would it make you feel better to see pictures of Lilo in a bikini? Also: New Hampshire midnight marriages, Megan Fox’s feelings about kissing girls, and LESBIAN TEACHER SEX BRAWLS.

Your favorite lesbians are helping Haiti, conservative commentators are on our sides, Gaga loves us, Rosie wants to make out with Sue Sylveste, Maureen Dowd talks to our favorite Prop 8 Trial lawyers, Megan Mullaly joins “Party Down,” Gender Puzzle film looks at the science of gender, Queen Latifah’s sexuality analyzed via winterwear, GenAlso, some celebrities kissed!

“interviews with two dozen former contestants — most of whose agreements expired after three years — from half a dozen reality series suggest that the programs routinely use isolation, sleeplessness and alcohol to encourage wild behavior.”

Atlanta tops the list of the gayest cities in the USA — and you’ll be surprised who didn’t even rank. Also; Caster Semenya update, Haiti relief efforts, transgender high school quarterback turned lesbian filmmaker, dog people vs. cat people and would Martin Luther King have been an LGBT advocate?

Details celebrates the joys of “dating a hasbian” by interviewing a bunch of guys and mentioning Anne Heche. Also; gays & lezzies smoke way more than everyone else, hookup culture, Dear Abby, more from V’s size issue, why women love Law & Order (Mariska?) and reasons to hate Oprah.

Best Fall Book Preview of all time, The Others (Seba Al-Herz) potential Autostraddle Book Club Pick, also Malinda Lo, graphjam, books from David Byrne, Nabokov & Kathy Griffin, Girldrive, YA Teen Sexual Discovery book, review of Tao Lin’s Shoplifting From American Apparel and more!

Rwanda is voting on a “kill the gays” bill too, just like Uganda, which slipped under the radar ’til now. Zimbabwe kicks two girls out of school for lesbian activities, most New Yorkers are upset same-sex marriage didn’t pass, unearthed video footage of Matthew Shepard in a documentary, and what to do when your UK girlfriend’s American Visa expires.

Robin & Carlytron take their lesbian loverthon to Provincetown, Massachusetts, for the annual Carnival and have fun partying with the boys!

More up-to-the-minute Dinah debauchery updated constantly! We ran out of room or something in the old post and had to start a new one!