One lazy morning, lying in bed with my lover before we part ways for a few months, she asks:

“So, what’s the astrology for March look like?”

“Oh, it’s exciting!” I say. “The main story is that Venus is going retrograde, which will have a big impact on relationships.”

“That sounds bad.”

“Not necessarily. It happens every eight years, and it’s just a time when we revisit, review, reconsider, and recommit to relationships. Venus is the part of us that knows what we find lovable, knows how to share love, and knows what our values are. Whenever a planet goes retrograde, it means we get to question and reassess what we assumed was true about that part of ourselves. It’s a time when we can get a lot of insight from our experiences.”

“How long does this last?”

“About a month.”

She pulls the pillow over her head. “What if I stay indoors for a month so Venus can’t see me? Would that work?”

“Um, not exactly. That’s actually exactly the wrong approach.”

“How does a planet even move backwards, anyway? Planets are huge. They weigh several tons.”

“No, sweetie, it’s just that they appear to move backwards from our perspective on Earth. It’s fascinating, really, it’s because of the different speed of the planets as they orbit the sun—”

“And what does this mean for me, again?”

“Well, think about what your relationships looked like eight years ago, in 2009.”

“Um … I was in the middle of a bad breakup.”

“Actually, so was I … but Venus retrograde doesn’t have to mean breaking up. It’s a time for looking more deeply at what you really want, what’s really good for you, and how well you’re living out your values. If a relationship isn’t good for you, yeah, this might be the right time to let it go. If there are hard patches to work through, they may need attention right now. But for strong relationships, this is a period of getting better aligned with ways of relating that will help you feel stronger, safer, more powerful, and more loved. It might feel a little bumpy here and there, but doesn’t have to be scary.”

She emerges from under the pillow. “Okay. So if I can’t hide from the planets, can I at least hide from all my partners for a month?”

Dear readers, Venus will turn retrograde on March 4th, and move direct again on April 15th. You don’t have to hide under your pillows or hide from your partners this month, but expect a few potholes in the otherwise smooth pavement of your relational rapport. Drive slowly and carefully, and be extra patient with yourself and your loved ones. Don’t get thrown if you need to rework some hard dynamics or renegotiate decisions you made long ago; you’re not moving backwards, you’re just revisiting lessons you haven’t completely integrated.

This is a dynamic month, with optimistic and expansive energy that can get a little wild if you’re not careful. Any changes you’ve been itching to make, you’ll have the energy to follow through on them now—just make sure you’re operating from a full sense of who you are and what you need. Remember your past, remember what you’ve already learned, and recommit to love that feels revolutionary.

As some of y’all know, I adore giving relationship readings. Analyzing the interplay of two or more charts is an incredible way to get to the core in your connection. Relationship readings help you see how you can heal and support one another more intentionally, resolve hard patterns, and consider what level of commitment makes most sense. In honor of Venus retrograde, I’m offering $25 off relationship readings. Just book before April 15th.

As always, the astro-literate are advised to read their Moon and Venus signs first, followed by the Sun and Ascendant. Stay sweet and brave this month! Don’t be daunted! You’re laying the foundation now for stronger intimacy over the next eight years.

Aries

Your relationships have grown in surprising directions lately; this month allows you a pause to take your internal temperature. What’s propelling you toward or away from intimacy? How aware are you of what you want and what you need? Are your needs and desires similar, or are there areas where they don’t overlap—in other words, are you chasing something that isn’t good for you? As Venus turns retrograde in your sign, it’s an important month for considering your expectations and desires, and whether the people who love you. Setting healthy boundaries is crucial right now—the world will flood in and demand too much of you if you don’t defend the time you need for yourself and for the people you most want to focus on.

Taurus

Dearest Taurus, don’t stress too hard about all the processing your boo and ex-boo and housemates might ask from you this month. You don’t have to have all the answers. This is a mysterious time for you. It’s harder to put into words what you’re feeling, but your intuition is hella strong. Someone may be asking you to define and explain yourself more clearly, but it’s okay if you don’t have the right words yet. You can rest in the uncertainty right now. Find a way to lovingly express what you do know, even if it’s unclear and unfinished—and don’t get too caught up in unrealistic fantasies, whether they’re coming from you or being projected on you.

Gemini

Sweetie, it’s so important that you not feel isolated right now. This doesn’t mean distract yourself with idle conversation, it means find a way to meaningfully connect with the people around you, wherever you are. This means reaching out beyond your chosen fam, your queer community, and your regular circles. What would it mean to feel deeply connected to someone very different than you? Does that question feel alarming or exciting, or both? Who might you have an unexpected bond with? What can you learn from someone who surprises you? What does it mean to feel close across a cultural divide? Luckily, these intense times can make it easier to spot unexpected allies. Whoever you may encounter this month, remember that your connections run much deeper than you might assume.

Cancer

Love makes all of us feel young and foolish and afraid at times. For those of us who come out late, or have still not quite brokered a truce between our bodies and our identities, yearning for connection can feel doomed from the start. Don’t let inexperience or heartbreak or embarrassment stop you this month. This is a powerful time for you; commit to the steps you need to take to be more truly yourself. Take yourself seriously enough to share your ideas and strengths with the wider world. You may feel as self-conscious as someone in a unicorn onesie at an upscale bar, but then again, you’ll be as fabulous as someone brave enough to wear a unicorn onesie to an upscale bar.

Leo

Your world gets too small when you focus too closely on what’s close at hand. You need an adventure this month, but you also need to question what kind of adventure will help you feel more integrated into a larger sense of yourself and your community. Don’t do something new just for the novelty—figure out what risks you want to take that will help move your whole life forward. Shake off the dust and embrace a larger sense of what’s possible for you. This month, if nothing else, will help you come back to life.

Virgo

Which do you prefer right now, superficial and light romances, or something more intense and deep? If you said light and superficial, your desires may surprise you this month. Even if you’re committed to casual hookups, this is a time when sex means more than just a few moments (or hours) of pleasure. You’re getting a deep hit of insight into your own eroticism and what it stirs up for you—all those lovely and murky emotions that come along with deep intimacy: longing, attachment, fear of betrayal, recognition of mortality. You can keep this all inside or share what’s happening with your lovers, but it’s a good time to know yourself a little better and make decisions that honor your deepest needs. The Full Moon in your sign on 12th is a good time for clarity around what you’re choosing and why.

Libra

Tremendous things are possible for you this month, but they might not all feel easy. As Jupiter moves through your sign, it’s making two tense aspects—opposing Uranus at the beginning of the month and squaring Jupiter at the end. All this activity means an eventful time for you—Uranus helps us initiate necessary changes, and Pluto helps us looking under the surface and uncover deeper truths. Expect your major relationships to undergo some kind of rebirth and deepen in ways that reflect your real values and desires—but you also have to put in the work to make that happen. You’re learning right now what freedom looks like in partnership, and developing more faith in yourself than you’ve had yet. Good luck, and remember the progress you make now will be with you for years to come!

Scorpio

This month’s Venus retrograde asks you to look long and hard at where you might have power imbalances in your relationships. Ayou tending to someone else’s needs more than your own? Does someone else call all the shots? Are you constantly reacting and adapting? You have the power to shift this dynamic, and it doesn’t come from shaming yourself or blaming them. Instead, think about what you get from participating in this pattern. Do you feel safer being unnoticed? Do you feel a sense of power in focusing on them? What part of you is fed by a dynamic that maintains imbalance? And at the end of the day, if you can’t level all power imbalances (which we usually can’t), which ones can you live with and which actually make your life much harder? Good luck this month, and remember that even small changes can have a huge effect on your wellbeing.

Sagittarius

This is a big month for you. Your chart ruler Jupiter is shaking things up a lot, opposing Uranus at the start of the month and squaring Pluto at the end. This makes March a time when you’re asking the big questions, and maybe considering fundamental changes to your life. With Venus going retrograde in your 5th house of romance, your love relationships are especially charged. Are you feeling loved and adored? Is there room for more romance in your life? What blocks you from asking for it or seeking it out? On the other hand, it might be a time to pull back if you’re spending too much energy chasing that romantic high. The same questions still apply—what would it take for you to feel truly loved and adored? What room do you have for romance in your life?—but the answers might be different. Get clear on what kind of attention really nourishes you, and what’s merely distraction. Above all, let yourself transform.

Capricorn

Did your family embrace you when you came out? Or did they turn their backs and reject you? Or are you mired in something in-between, where they claim to accept your “lifestyle” but still get your pronouns wrong and keep suggesting hetero dating options? This month, whatever your family has modeled for you about sexuality is a core theme. If you’re still dealing with wounds of rejection, of not being properly seen, of feeling uprooted and outside of a shared history, this is a month to concentrate on identifying and healing these wounds. You’ll see them come up in your current attitudes about love and relationships, especially if you’re feeling you cautious about how much you can trust any friends or lovers. Get to know the parts of you that are still hurting, and find allies in your healing process. Do it for yourself, but also for the rest of us; when you love yourself better, it’s easier for the rest of us to do the same.

Aquarius

Aquarius is perhaps the most skilled sign at queerness, if we’re talking about the visionary curiosity that lets us explore new ways of understanding our relationships, our sexuality, and our gender. Aquarian lovers take all kinds of unconventional connections in stride, and sometimes even insist on freedom and mutual respect being core to all their relationships. But while Aquarians shine as relationship revolutionaries, they can be much more shy about their own burning passions and the vulnerabilities they bring to intimacy. Being logical can be a defense against feeling too much. This month, you’re perfecting your skills at communicating your own tenderness, softness, and uncertainty—not just your competence and flexibility. Learn what words and what ways work best for you to speak of the hardest things to those who are offering a good container for you. You’ll feel a much stronger sense of belonging when you do.

Pisces

Know your worth. That’s your one assignment this month, and it’s not an easy one. With Sun and Mercury moving through your sign this month, this will be a time of increased questioning, especially around issues of identity and purpose. You may be weighing your past decisions and confused about how to choose your future course. It may be easier than usual to be swayed by others, who may have the best of intentions, but no one knows as well as you do what you actually need, and what you’re actually capable of. This is a time when you can feel into both of those more intuitively, as long as you don’t let yourself be paralyzed by doubt. Remember that you are generous even if you need to focus on yourself from time to time. Remember that you are connected even when you turn inside. Remember that your worth doesn’t depend on pleasing others. Love yourself first, and you’ll really be able to feel and trust the love of others.

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