New year’s day comes with traditions: resolutions, lazy brunch with our chosen family, black-eyed peas, parades, sleeping till noon—whatever you do to ring in the new and release the old. Familiar rituals help us feel connected to the past while we face the uncertainty of the future. These themes of past and future, safety and the familiar, are especially strong as the month begins. Saturn has recently moved into Capricorn, and this month begins with a Full Moon in Cancer that heightens our emotional longing for safe homes, supportive families, and strong roots.

Saturn is the part of ourselves that needs to plan and strategize, that wants us to spend our energy wisely on what matters most. It’s the self-discipline that makes us stick to our resolutions, and the wisdom that lets us choose resolutions that actually benefit us and tweak them if they’re not feeling right. Wherever Saturn is in our charts, it asks us to take that part of our lives seriously. As Saturn moved through Sagittarius, the collective energy was aimed at getting serious and focused about what we believe in. Saturn in Capricorn asks us to dig into reality and actually do the work. What will help us create a sustainable future for ourselves and the ones we love? How can we show up and dedicate ourselves to this process?

In our relationships and our larger lives, 2018 will be a year of assessment, of slow and careful building, of reality testing and longterm visioning. Capricorn is a sign that encourages careful tending of the resources and energies we really need, not just the things we think we want. It’s not about flash or glitter, it’s about treating our love for each other as something worth showing up for, every day, and giving our best to. With Saturn in Capricorn, those of you with your Sun, Moon, or Venus in Capricorn, Cancer, Libra, or Aries will especially feel pushed to start solving chronic problems in your relationships by taking responsibility for what you bring to the equation. This can feel a little rough at first, as you take a close look at what you’ve been doing poorly, but if you approach this with love you’ll develop much deeper respect for yourself and your partners during this time. With that respect comes trust, dependability, relationships that can stand the test of time with minimal drama or crisis.

For those of you approaching your Saturn Return this year, there’s some great astrological resources available from astrologers I highly recommend! Dru Ish of Arrows in the Sky Astrology is offer Saturn Return readings particularly for your generation, and Maenna Welti is offering a personalized workbook for everyone going through a Saturn transit. And I’m available for readings again, including relationship readings for those of you who are dedicated to learning how to do better for yourself and those you love this year.

As this month comes to a close, we’re also moving into eclipse season again—this is a lot of transitional, big energy around relationships in this month! Bear in mind that eclipses show us what’s been hidden in our lives, and this eclipse season will be especially revealing for people with planets in Leo, Aquarius, Scorpio, and Taurus.

And as always, remember that for these relationship horoscopes you should read your Venus and Moon signs first, followed by your Sun and rising. Read these for what they can give you, and discard anything you don’t need.

Aries

This year, you’re going back to finish what you started. The last few years have been a wild ride—sometimes exciting, but fairly unpredictable. You’ve seen relationships change, fall away, and blossom in unexpected ways, and the map of your life has been majorly redrawn. While you thrive on reinvention, it may be a relief to hear that this year brings you a chance to stabilize. You may have also skipped some steps and left some things (or people) behind in your whirlwind of 2017. This year gives you a chance to review your decisions and reconnect—to try again, or merely to get some proper closure. Especially this summer, you’ll have a chance to reinvent certain core relationships. Some you may be ready to let go of, though. You’ll need to decide how much energy you have to invest in following through on the changes you’ve begun. If you’ve hurt someone or been hurt recently, the best time to resolve those hurt feelings will be in May. Make room this summer for reconsidering decisions and reconnecting with your core passions.

Your relationship resolutions: Reconsider your relationship to responsibility. Does thinking about it make you feel guilty or angry? Separate shame and judgment from how you show up with integrity. Forgive yourself for past mistakes (and ask forgiveness, if it feels necessary)—then trust that you are fully capable of having relationships that include freedom, excitement, renewal, and mutual consideration.

Taurus

2018 will be a big year for you! A new cycle is beginning in your life, and you’re deeply letting go of one that has been slowly ending (I know how hard it is for y’all to let go—I’ve made artwork about it for my own Taurus moon). And guess what? You’re finally ready. Uranus—game changer, agent of chaos, queerest planet and total relationship anarchist—is moving into your sign this May, and with it comes a whole new perspective on love and connection. This winter, you’ll begin to benefit from all the ways you’ve gotten more badass in 2017. The boundaries you held even though it hurt, the toxic dynamics you refused to continue, the slow investment in new relationships that don’t give you the same thrills of desperate highs and lows—all these small acts of self-respect and self-love will start bearing fruit early this year. This month’s eclipse might bring up some wounds around recent changes, but you’ll have a lot more support for easing through this time than you did last summer, when the first eclipse.

Your relationship resolutions: Embrace adventure with a strong dose of realism. See through false promises and pleasant dreams. Don’t settle for anything that less than amazement. What is most exciting and compelling gets to be the real substance of your life, not a fantasy of what could be. Face your fear of getting what you want.

Gemini

Dear Gemini, I am so thrilled to say this year will be kinder to you than the last several have been. People have expected a lot from you over the last few years, and you’ve risen to the challenge even as it exhausted you. You get to take a break now. You’ve learned so much about how to have more mature, responsible relationships—you get to practice those skills now without hurrying to add more to the mix. You’ve got this. Love should feel easier, lighter, more joyous this year. You’ll feel your passion returning, especially in the spring and summer. And watch for opportunities this November to take a bigger risk—you’ll have the support you need! Years like this aren’t free of any conflict or growing pains, but you do get to choose rest and relaxation as one of your core goals this year. Let all your relationships be: they will find the level they need, and you don’t have to put in any energy you can’t spare to keep them going.

Your relationship resolutions: Let go of control. Let go of stress about the future. Accept changes with love and an open heart. Show up for your own transformation. Turn inward (yourself, your family, your core family) more than outward (your colleagues, clients, acquaintances).

Cancer

This year will show you your hidden strengths. As Saturn moves into Capricorn, it pulls on all your inner stories about what you are capable of. This is a year to track how you beat yourself up for all the things you aren’t—and don’t give yourself nearly enough credit for what you’re doing really well. Slowly but surely, you can move from a place of self-critique to a place of centered assurance. Saturn often brings lessons that echo our own inner voices of judgment, so one of your first tasks this year is to ask your inner voices to speak to you with respect—only offering constructive criticism, and only when necessary. To help this process, start tracking what you’re doing well, and what you can get away with doing imperfectly. This is especially important in your relationships, where so much anxiety builds up about how the people you love are moving through the world. It’s not your job to protect anyone from themselves, or to feel things for them. This year also brings some beautiful influences for healing your old wounds and bringing a deeper tenderness and compassion to all your relationships. Most of all, remember that you get to change. You are not defined by your impulses, your fears, or even your feelings. Love will be available to you even if you stop trying to lure it in, feed it, and build a fence around it.

Your relationship resolutions: Cut the word “should” out of your vocabulary—for yourself and others. Feel what shifts when you take responsibility for loving yourself first. Experiment with new ways of loving. Let go of anything that demands too much work to keep it healthy.

Leo

This is a year when much is still changing in your heart and your perspective—let yourself be in process. This month brings an eclipse in your sign on the 31st, which will close out the chapter that began for you last August. Use this time to digest what you’ve learned in the last six months and take in new information. Particularly, you’re learning a better balance between love as something you need (validation, attention, comfort, praise, consistency) and love as something you offer (insight, respect, attention, freedom, trust). Pay close attention to the times when you feel a lack, and resist any old theories about why that might be. Shadow fears come up during eclipses, and yours is fear of abandonment and exclusion: that there is not enough love for you exactly as you are, that you belong nowhere. Remember that you get to work with these stories to disprove them. Recognize how strong you are becoming as you practice dismantling those toxic myths. Beginning in May, you’ll be facing a new set of circumstances that could bring both exciting and challenging energy to your relationships. Do the work now of getting a better sense of what’s real and what’s an old anxiety, and you’ll be well positioned to handle the rest of the year with gusto.

Your relationship resolutions: Let yourself be a work in progress. Defy the idea that you have to be perfect to deserve love. Show up for your own healing. Get more specific about what you have to offer and what you need to feel loved.

Virgo

Over the last few years, your relationships have been emotionally charged and often chaotic—this year brings some welcome stability and calm. You’re still working through some of the deeper issues that have come up, whether because of a recent heartbreak or a relationship that you’re learning to see more clearly. This year continues the themes of illusions and disillusionment (when you really believe something is that’s too good to be true is true—and when you’re crushed to discover it isn’t). Luckily, though, Saturn’s influence will help guide and steady you so you don’t get too lost in the realms of fantasy or anxiety. Especially after May, you’ll be able to establish routines and consistency with people in a way that might feel harder right now. Parts of you may crave the excitement of uncertainty, but trust that your best medicine right now is something calm, tender, and consistent. With a little patience, and your own best efforts at discerning reality clearly, you’ll be able to have this kind of love in abundance this year.

Your relationship resolutions: Decide what attributes you’re looking for in a partner or lover, and make sure “trustworthy” is on the list. Flirt shamelessly with anyone who seems to fit the bill, and cut your losses immediately if they turn out not to. Don’t backpedal on your dealbreakers. Embrace moving slowly, build intimacy gradually—but keep showing up with your whole heart.

Libra

This is a year of patient, steady growth. You’re re-establishing your emotional equilibrium after taking some big risks, and this year brings a few long transits that will help soothe, deepen, and ease this effort. Saturn moving into Capricorn forms a challenge to your sign, and the next few years will bring opportunities to get more realistic about what kind of love helps you feel deeply held and cared for. Questions of home could be really strong right now, and it will feel easier than it has been for you to let go of old dreams and move fully into the present this year. As Uranus moves into Taurus in May, so much that has been chaotic for you will begin to stabilize.

It may be time to get serious about creating something longlasting that can serve you as a homebase—whether that’s a renovating a van to tour in, establishing a queer commune in the woods, adopting kids, or moving in with a longterm partner. Just make sure your dreams don’t outpace your reality—keep testing what you have the energy and resources to sustain right now. So much is possible for you right now, but you’ll have to keep discerning the dreams you can achieve from the ones that are merely beautiful inspiration.

Your relationship resolutions: Decide to belong somewhere. Cherish the people who are your home. Figure out what you need to feel held and protected. Test your visions and use the resources you have to make them real.

Scorpio

You have no choice but to keep moving forward right now—it’s like you’re on a conveyor belt or an elevator and your only choices are: forward, up. You may experience some delays this summer as Mars moves retrograde, but your trajectory is still 100% oriented toward growth, joy, and releasing the past. The eclipses this winter and summer will affect you strongly, and help you see and integrate new understanding about what love means for you. In a year this packed with forward momentum, you may need some time to fully grieve whatever you’re leaving behind—even if you’re glad to see it go. Make room for that, but above all don’t get stuck there. It’s a better choice this year to risk talking about what you’re leaving behind—instead of just freezing it over in your heart and leaving it there as a blocked part of you. This is especially true as Mars turns retrograde this June (until late August). Use the summer to handle old business, and commit to being done with it. Meanwhile, what the future has in store for you promises to be deeply healing and steadying. You deserve it!

Your relationship resolutions: Don’t isolate yourself when you’re sad. Find ways to fully release anything that’s no longer growing, nourishing, and aligned with your values. Let yourself explore the unknown. Trust that something new can be more healing than the pain you’re used to.

Sagittarius

Rejoice: Saturn has moved out of your sign! As it leaves, it closes out several years of often painful lessons about love and intimacy. Your faith has been tested, your choices limited, your capacities restricted—now you get to exhale and expand again, knowing the decisions you make are grounded in reality and a hard-earned wisdom. Until May, you’re also enjoying the last few months of creative upheaval in your romantic life. New people may pop up to inspire you or totally redirect your life—and now that Saturn’s given you a longer leash, you’ll get to pursue these new connections (romantic or otherwise) without destabilizing your sense of purpose! You’ll have a lot of support for going deep in intimacy this year, and as Jupiter, your sign ruler, moves into your sign in November, keep an eye out for all kinds of opportunities to connect, learn, and grow into your fullest self.

Your relationship resolutions: Don’t put up with scarcity. Call in total abundance in your erotic and romantic life. Embrace adventures. Be open to relationships you might not have considered. Trust that you’ve learned what you need to know.

Capricorn

This is the year when you start making your dreams real. It will take effort, and focus, and experimentation. It won’t always feel easy, but what you build now will be built to last. It’s a good idea to write a list of your relationship goals at the start of this year—what kind of friendships, partnerships, collaborations do you want to call into your life? What existing relationships would you like to heal, deepen, or lovingly let go of? What do you need to develop within yourself in order to do this? For example, if you want to call in more creative collaborations, you’ll need to start taking your solo creative practice seriously. If you want to call in lovers with good boundaries, you’ll have to practice setting and keeping your own boundaries. Much of this year’s energy is about structuring and restructuring your relationships. This could look like renegotiating polyamory agreements, making tough decisions about living with those you love, reworking business partnerships, transitioning from partners into friends or vice versa—all the ways we responsibly handle our business in intimacy. It’s not a light, airy energy but it is deeply nourishing. Think of these small acts of restructuring as compost you’re tilling into the earth to make it more fertile in the future. You may see some new growth right away, but the biggest pay off will be in a few years. Meanwhile, stay centered in your integrity and trust in your longterm vision.

Your relationship resolutions: Be the still center of change in your world. Let yourself rebuild your relationships with intention, patience, and care. Stay optimistic even when things look a mess. Stay focused on the task at hand, and conserve your energy for the long haul.

Aquarius

This year promises to be a non-stop thrill ride! Or rather, there’s a lot of activity, growth, transformation, and change on your horizon. Starting with an eclipse in your sign this February, you’ll be entering a new era that also includes the ruler of your sign moving from Aries to Taurus in May. Meanwhile, Mars will spend almost half the year bouncing around in your sign when it turns retrograde this summer! The short story of your 2018: action-packed. The longer story? You’re not repeating the same old patterns anymore. You’re opening your eyes to new kinds of relationships, new passions, new ways of handling conflict, new ideas about what it means to for you to choose stability and abundance. As exciting as much of this will be, it could also be a little exhausting to embrace this much new information, to pursue so much that is new. Especially during the Mars retrograde period this summer, make sure you’re not pushing yourself too far and too fast. Cultivate a practice of patience, stillness, and curiosity. And always remember that you’re in charge of what to do with what you’re learning.

Your relationship resolutions: Make room for quiet, still, unproductive time alone—or with a partner who doesn’t require you to be deeply engaged with them. Take your need for rebirth seriously. Let yourself gather information from all your senses, not just your rational mind. Trust your gut. Proceed with curiosity.

Pisces

This is a year to dream big about collective projects. If you are positioned to build a queer commune, start measuring the land and gathering scrap wood. If you are holding the key to a lot of people’s hearts and healing, start creating networks where they can support each other together. Love will never feel too far away from you this year, but what will feel vitally important is that you be directing it where it needs to go. It’s not enough anymore just to enjoy it, or to share it with only your partners or lovers. You’ll start to get confused and dispirited unless you feel plugged into a larger world where your unique gifts have an effect. As Saturn moves into Capricorn, you’re being asked to show up hard for all your ideals. If you can work with this grounded, practical, steady energy, you’ll be able to bring beautiful things to life this year.

Your relationship resolutions: Trust that you have power and use it effectively. Connect to larger worlds. Be a conduit for growth, healing, and love. Find yourself through dedicating yourself to a purpose.

Before you go! Autostraddle runs on the reader support of our AF+ Members. If this article meant something to you today — if it informed you or made you smile or feel seen, will you consider joining AF and supporting the people who make this queer media site possible?

Join AF+!