Tonight at The Moth… a bunch of drag queens. While Drag Race has had plenty of iconic monologues in Untucked, this week brings the form to the main stage. But will the queens be as good at pre-planned speeches as they are after a few House of Love cocktails?
But first! Lydia pulled a reverse-Arrietty and wrote a really nice mirror message. Onya even says, “That’s how you write a mirror message.” Lana is crying about sending her home and it all just goes to show isn’t it nicer to leave a good impression as you walk out the door?
Suzie congratulations her one-sided rival Onya on being the first queen to enter the three-win club. Onya then congratulates Suzie on being one of the the only other queens with the courage to actually answer Ru’s question of who should go home next. I love Onya is always speaking up and saying the truth even when it causes problems!
It’s a new day in the workroom and Ru is stirring things up by asking the queens to pair up with whoever they think gets them the most. Jewels and Suzie pair up. And then Lexi immediately grabs Onya, which hurts Sam’s feelings. Once again, we’ll see an episode where a queen sabotages herself by not being able to let something go. Sam isn’t as vocal about it as Lexi has been in the past, but it’s still obvious that she wasn’t pleased to be with Lana.
The mini challenge is for the queens to fill in the blanks of a drag bio for their partner to read. Jewels sets the bar HIGH giving Suzie a very funny self-roast to say. Onya has some fun of her own making Lexi say she draws inspiration from Niecy Nash and Aunt Jemima. Lexi’s for Onya didn’t make any sense? But Ru even laughed at that one because she just really seems to love madlibs! Jewels wins!
The maxi challenge is personal monologues the queens will write for themselves. But as they give the monologue, their partner will accompany it with an interpretive dance. They each pull a prompt out of a box and get the following…
Jewels: out of this world
Suzie: learned that the hard way
Lana: lost
Sam: triggered
Lexi: payback’s a bitch
Onya: obsessed!
With only six queens left, there’s a lot of time for chatting during prep. Suzie and Jewels are having a wonderful time, beautiful curls all around. Sam says she’s channeling her inner Truman Capote with her authorness. Lana talks about being the middle child of seven siblings and how long it took her parents to accept her queerness. And Onya talks about her time as a spiritual vegan, something that apparently involved wearing all white.
Because Jewels won the mini challenge, she’s once again tasked with choosing the order. Suzie encourages her to be strategic and screw people over. And, frankly, given the reaction to Jewels trying to be nice, I support it. Except I’m not even sure how she could screw anyone over because again ORDER ISN’T THAT IMPORTANT.
The next day, Jewels flirtation with villainy has subsided and she decides to just ask people what they want. That makes the final order: Suzie, Jewels, Onya, Lexi, Sam, Lana. Lexi is so happy to be far from Suzie and I’m like ?? but you’re right after Onya!
As the pairs prepare, there are frustrations all around. Onya doesn’t understand Lexi’s monologue. Jewels says Suzie is trying to be Jamal Sims. Lana is frustrated with Sam’s dancing and Sam wants Lana to spice up her monologue with jokes.
There’s then some more personal sharing. Suzie talks about growing up in a household dealing with alcoholism. Lana talks about how her first job in NYC was as a clown — okay Cherry! — and then she talks about praise dancing in church. Jewels talks about doing pantomime in high school.
The guest judge this week is Jerrod Carmichael, someone who does indeed know how to deliver a good monologue. Just goes to show, any famous men worried to come out should remember there’s a Drag Race guest judge gig in it for you!
None of the queens bomb the monologue, but I think Suzie’s monologue with Jewels interpretation is easily the best. And I think Jewels’ monologue is good too with a solid rendition from Suzie. They are the strongest pair by far, because it feels like they actually worked together.
Onya’s monologue is good too, and Lexi’s interpretation is certainly committed. But I found Lexi’s monologue to be a bit all over the place and not stick the landing. Lana and Sam are the very definition of… just fine.
The runway is ugliest dress ever. Suzie is a Christmas tree, Jewels recreates her mom’s prom dress, Onya is a turkey, and Lexi has on a hundred tutus. Lexi definitely gets points for having the most creative dress that is still ugly. Meanwhile, Sam just wears a very high fashion meat dress and Lana recreates Kandy Muse’s pocket dress. Lana needs to stop recreating looks without giving them her own twist!
During critiques, Michelle seems very offended by Jewels calling the 80s dress ugly. Babe, the girl is 22! Of course she thinks it’s ugly! Overall, I found the critiques of Jewels and Suzie to be baffling. They’re mostly praised, but again THEY WERE THE BEST. The judges really liked Lexi and I’m not sure I get why. Maybe it’s just that Lexi’s insecurity is contagious so I’m underrating her? If someone repeatedly says they aren’t good, you do start to believe them.
Not to defend Sam, but she’s critiqued for not letting loose and acting crazy enough. It’s an old critique of Sam that she’s since gotten over and I do not think that’s the issue here. She tried to get Lana to write jokes! There was nothing in Lana’s monologue that she could’ve interpreted with humor.
Alas, I’m not RuPaul and don’t get to decide. Onya and Lexi win, Jewels and Suzie are safe, and Lana and Sam are lip syncing to “Illusion” by Dua Lipa. It’s a very good lip sync! It’s definitely Lana’s best of the four she’s done. And, in fact, I’d say she does a bit better than Sam. But it’s her fourth lip sync and Sam does well too so… yeah the right call is made here. Lana sashays away and the Truman Capote of Drag Race remains to slay another day.
Teleport Us to Mars!! Here Are Some Random Thoughts:
+ At one point, Sam says no ma’am, no ham, no turkey, or cheese. Is this an expression in the South?
+ Jewels’ monologue was giving Lorde’s “Liability” maybe that’s why it was my favorite of the sincere ones.
+ Kind of bummed the monologues weren’t worse so I could’ve titled this recap: Monoslog.
+ Ru references John Waters’ Female Trouble during Suzie’s runway if you needed an excuse to watch or rewatch that masterpiece.
+ Queen I’m rooting for: Onya
+ Queen I’m horniest for: Jewels
+ Queen I want to sashay: Sam and Lexi
