Republicans Warn About Gander Neutral Bathrooms

They say what’s good for the goose is good for the gander. But is what’s good for the gander good for women? Several Republican members of Congress don’t think so!

Representative Nancy Mace took to X yesterday sharing reports of gander neutral bathrooms sweeping the nation. “First they let in biological men, now they’re letting in poultry, when will it end?” wrote the congress person.

Senator Josh Hawley joined in with his own concerns: “After being briefed on this latest example of woke culture, I’ve learned that over a thousand Americans have been attacked by geese and ganders since 2001 — the same year as 9/11. Since females are docile, we can assume these attacks were carried out primarily by the ganders.”

It wasn’t clear where these ganders are coming from or why they needed to use human bathrooms. However, the warnings still resonated with the general public. X Premium user FartNugget69 wrote, “These birds have tiny little penises and they will be attacking our wives.”

Some people warned that attacks from the ganders weren’t the primary concern, but rather the contagion that could spread from this species. Another X Premium user GayNotQueer wrote, “Ever heard of a silly goose? Do we want human females turning silly as well? That’s the real bird flu.”

After twelve hours of uproar, a community note pointed out that the article Mace shared in screenshots may have had a typo.

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Drew Burnett Gregory

Drew is a Brooklyn-based writer, filmmaker, and theatremaker. She is a Senior Editor at Autostraddle with a focus in film and television, sex and dating, and politics. Her writing can also be found at Bright Wall/Dark Room, Cosmopolitan UK, Refinery29, Into, them, and Knock LA. She was a 2022 Outfest Screenwriting Lab Notable Writer and a 2023 Lambda Literary Screenwriting Fellow. She is currently working on a million film and TV projects mostly about queer trans women. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Drew Burnett has written 691 articles for us.

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