Smear to the VIP Tent, where the rest of the cast is hanging out with their tattoos flapping in the wind. Lauren interviews that Kiyomi makes her feel good in the hood and hard like wood but she’s not cool with the rumor that Kiyomi’s got another lady back in New York with the personality of a plastic fork.
check out vero the coolest cucumber back there
Monster Mash Kiyomi’s taking a time out in favor of Lovecrush Kiyomi, who’s way more honest and sometimes even insecure and occassionally funny!
look this is neat and stuff, but sarah croce is standing behind me right now and i think i’m gonna go hit that
Lauren demands the complete scoop, so they canoodle on a loveseat and Kiyomi explains that she and Ali weren’t a monogomous couple, which’s why the twosome kept getting into trouble. Although Kiyomi stayed with Ali for a week, the outlook remains ultra-bleak, they’re not living together and probs never will, ’cause their relationship, like this rhyme, is due for a kill.
i want to fuck you like an animal
Anyhow, Lauren’s like, oh totally, and then Kiyomi is like, let’s just be best best friends!! And then Lauren is like, hahaha, and then Kiyomi is like, har-har-har-, and then Lauren is like, let’s go make out on the grass in front of everybody, like farm animals do, and Kiyomi’s like, okay, and then they do.
my name is kiyomi and i caught the best catch in all of dinah shore
Lauren: “I feel like I should put some clothes on but I don’t have any clothes.”
Kiyomi: “That is okay with me.”
Surprise!
Amanda: “All of a sudden I turn around and Lauren and Kiyomi are like, gone. So either they’re fucking in the bathroom, or they’re like staring into each others eyes or they’re like, lost in a bush somewhere.”
Oh also, Laura is hooking up with somebody while fantasizing about Intern Grace:
these suspenders double as nipple clamps, just FYI
So it’s the White Party. I know it’s mind-boggling ’cause last episode took place on Friday, the day of the Dinah Dingbat Dating Game, and the White Party also happened on Friday night, as indicated by the Dinah Shore 2012 Schedule and the virginal attire cloaking the entirety of Romi’s pre-party dinner situation last week, and I think for this episode, we’re supposed to believe that today is Saturday and the White Party is gonna happen on Saturday night even though it didn’t. This is some crazy-ass shit, kids. I know this will come as a shock to you but — hold your tampons — that’s just editing magic!
Who knows what could happen next!
With this show, you never know!
One thing’s for sure, this gang is ready to meet the night!
today’s music ain’t got the same soul, i like that old time rock ‘n roll
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one way or another, sho’s gonna get you they’ll get you they’ll get your nipples on camera
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don’t move, you just have a little bit more vaginal secretions on this side of your shirt
“I look like a fucking guy on a Neil Diamond tour,” Kiyomi observes, spying herself as a Vision in White. Somebody suggests black pants, probably Lizz. Vero and Kiyomi stroll — like seriously they are doing some power-strolling — on over to that evening’s fun-filled activity as Vero teases/questions Kiyomi about her romp in the grass HAY! with Lauren, who you may remember because she has pink hair for some reason.
it’s just that her teeth are so white and shiny that before long i found myself licking them
At the bar, Kiyomi continues to agonize over her potential vulnerability:
Kiyomi: “I can’t hang out with that girl anymore.”
Vero: “Why not?”
Kiyomi: “Because I have a crush on her.”
Laura: “That’s fine.”
Kiyomi: “No, it’s not okay, because I don’t wanna like anybody.”
“but first let’s toast to the lists that we hold in our fists of the things that we promise to do differently next time”
Laura interviews that Lauren’s got transformative powers:
Laura: “Kiyomi and Lauren just met and she seems to be really, really happy, like she’s not the way she was when she was with Ali.”
Amanda interviews about how Kiyomi seems sketchy and how Lauren was all like “I’m gonna be single” and look who’s laughing now and really, this is hilarious, ’cause they’re both obsessed with each other! There’s no genuine power disparity between them, the person in power is fluid and depends on which of the two of them is coupled up. Or maybe that’s not jealousy and they’re just two girls who have been best friends for a long time speaking their own language, a language only they understand. You know what I mean.
Anyhow, the whole gang’s super-eager to hit up the red carpet at Dinah Shore!
Photo: Patrick Wymore/SHOWTIME
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Photo: Patrick Wymore/SHOWTIME
Kiyomi notes that this is her first time on a red carpet at Dinah Shore. But really, they’ll let anybody on the red carpet. See?
that’s me on the right
At the White Party, Team Whitney gathers in an exclusionary physical arrangement to discuss how Romi’s super-fake and super-shady and super-bitchy and super-terrible and probably eats babies and definitely doesn’t compost and absolutely sells poisoned lemonade to homeless LGBT youth. Romi, on the other side of the room, attempts to smile and interact with other human beings while the Mean Girls fill her airspace with negativity.
wait though, isn’t that the chick you fucked with a strap-on on national television
She interviews:
Romi: “I don’t wanna be yelled at or attacked. But I’m always gonna show up whether they’re there or not, I’m gonna hold my head up high.”
Besides, Romi insists, she and Kelsey are dancing, full of sober cheer, and having a TIME. They decide to dip out and return to their Love Shack while enthusiastically discussing what sober fun they just had, which’s sweet. Also this girl Vero is with looks like Tucky from Girl/Girl Scene.
Vero 4 Lyfe
Also at The White Party, Lauren and Kiyomi are playing tonsil-hockey and Amanda’s playing shit-stirrer, telling Sara there’s “something off” about Kiyomi while Kiyomi interviews that she’s yet to recover from hearing that Amanda’s spreading rumors about Ali housing an additional tenant, which specifically violates the strict terms of her lease. Kiyomi slips a battle-axe into her suspenders and confronts Amanda, who’s dressed like a concierge who lost his pants in an alligator accident.
look all i’m saying is that somer fixed the keyboard herself and maybe deserved a little more love for that than you gave her, okay? That’s all.
Only Goddess knows what harsh words passed between the two space ghosts that evening, we can only watch from afar, our mouths agape with wonder.
Kiyomi: “I’m not gonna cave in to you being a dick.”
Amanda: “Alright, well –”
Kiyomi: “You think that I’m an asshole? Let’s just both keep it on an equal level playing field, okay?”
i keep getting this pain, and it’s a hollow feeling? almost as if i have a blank space where the front part of my brain is supposed to be?
Amanda interviews that she’s shocked by Kiyomi’s confrontational manner:
Amanda: “Nobody calls me on my shit. Dude, if you do wanna get with my friend, I am like the last person you should fight with. Come on. You do not want me to not like you. It’s like — you’re not gonna win.”
In other words:
Lauren notes that she’s got beer in her hotel room so Kiyomi’s like, lez go. It actually may have been the other way around, I can’t recall. Somebody has beer in their hotel room. You’ll have to just take my word for it.
The next morning or perhaps a different morning from another stardate, Kiyomi and Lauren awake in one another’s arms, snug as two gay bugs in a rug, and proceed to make out some more despite gnarly morning breath.
it’s sunday morning i miss you the most
Kiyomi: “I knew right away that she was gonna steal my heart. Like, immediately.”
Maybe it’s the haircut, but in this interview Kiyomi seems like a teenage boy with a crush, and she seems to tender! I think when butch/masculine dykes get all tender it’s like the most tender thing of all the things. It’s more tender than even chicken tenders, or TenderRomi.
i wanna ask her to go steady
Everybody has feelings! Let’s dance on the ceiling!
Kiyomi: “And that’s trouble for me. That’s trouble for a person who’s constantly trying to keep it protected and not give it away to anybody and not give it away to anybody.”
it’s like the power of the clam, but instead it’s the power of the tortoise
Kiyomi: “I know that I have feelings for her already, and it makes me nervous.”
Also nerve-wracking is that girl from New York, Ali-Bo-Balli!
translation: bla bla bla bla bla bla bla
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Kiyomi makes up her mind once and for all: she’s going to have to put a hit out on her ex-girlfriend. Just kidding! She sort of throws her phone onto a chair instead.
thinking about a one-ho one-area code policy
Following bittersweet balcony kisses, Kiyomi returns to Hunter Valentine HQ, where I’m expecting Vero to be canoodling with some hot bitch but instead she’s just looking sexy as fuck on this bed while discussing Kiyomi’s relationship problems with Kiyomi.
vero is the new face of CK One
So apparently Ali’s coming in for the next day’s Real L Word photoshoot although it’s worth mentioning that Ali is not in any of the photos from the photoshoot, so Showtime probably could’ve saved themselves the $500 plane ticket and instead purchased me a box of Cheez-Its and two sessions with a therapist to process what this show has done to my intellectual capabilities.
Kiyomi: “I feel like it’s over. She’s so difficult.”
i mean sometimes when i listen to her talk i wonder if i am dating a human or a really needy cardboard box
Kioymi’s not spoken to Ali since she arrived in Palm Springs and Vero suggests Kiyomi consider a firmer “we’re broken up” convo. In other words:
Elsewhere in sunny Palm Springs, California, Kacy/Cori and Kelsey/Romi are gathering for tee-time, which’s about 50% as fun as tea-time but involves cute matching outfits, apparently.
team white
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team heather grey
I prefer miniature golf, but to each their own:
Romi: “Let’s stroke some shit.”
Romi’s golfing talent is sub-par (oh my lord, I’m using sub-par in the actual context that “sub-par” comes from!), Kelsey is surprisingly adept, and the entire foursome is simply happy as clams to be out in the sunshine on a golf course far far far away from The Smoking Hot Go-Gos at the Cabana Girl Pool Party.
i’m not even upset that none of the holes look like a clown mouth or windmill and that i won’t get tickets for getting a hole-in-one that I can trade in for a candy necklace or a giant purple teddy bear, like at every other golf course i’ve ever been to
The couple interviews:
Kelsey: “I love hanging out with Cori and Kacy.”
Romi: “They’re sweet. They’re good people and I think it’s nice to have couples around us that are married. I mean, we want to be married like that and start a family one day.”
Kelsey: “I wanna be married more than anything.”
but i’d also like an x-box, sidenote
Oh, reader! The way Kelsey says, “I wanna be married more than anything” is so tender, probably one thousand times more tender than Kiyomi was in her interview with her Zac Efron hair. Kelsey is just so tender here, on par with when I asked my ex what she wanted in a relationship and she said, “I just want to be loved like a puppy is loved,” and my whole entire heart swelled with love for her AND also for puppies.
Back at The Last Day Pool Party, the ladies are chilling in their VIP tent and wrapping up the week’s dramas. Before long, Kiyomi and Lauren sneak off together like bunny rabbits in heat.
WHERE’S MY TOP??!!
Kiyomi interviews that she’s sad Dinah’s over ’cause she’s fallen for Lauren. Then Kiyomi tells Lauren that Lauren likes it rough, but Lauren is like no, and Kiyomi is like yeah you do, and Lauren is like, I like everything and I like it soft, and then Kiyomi is like, I don’t believe you, and then Lauren is like, I’ll show you right now, and so then they head upstairs to remove each other’s clothing and I head downstairs to hang myself from a ceiling fan.
I’m shiny and I know it,
Don’t know why you wanna blow it,
Need a girl who likes it rough, likes it rough, likes it rough
TIME FOR MUFFINS AND/OR A NOONER!!
drink of me. drink all of me!
Alas! Kiyomi and Lauren’s steamy sexual session is interrupted by Amanda, Sara and Whitney, who have returned from The Pool for some Indoor Sports. Everybody jumps on the bed and then Kiyomi takes Amanda to go get ice, probably because they’re actually friends and not enemies as the show would like us to think, leaving Lauren playfully wedged between a sexually excited Whitney and Sara. Before long, things get a little sexy.
Lauren: “It’s Dinah, i’m intoxicated, Whitney and Sara making out is pretty hot, so I’m gonna jump in.”
Yannow, I gotta say same-sex couples really have an advantage when it comes to erotic thirds and threesomes in general. Although the general public would like to imagine that we’re all strictly monogamous lumberjacks making jam in Vermont while marathoning Bad Girls, many lesbians are in fact threesome enthusiasts. It may be the only thing we can pull off with less feelings than totally hetero couples can. Sometimes.
Sarahara observes:
Sara: “Lauren is hot. Whitney is hot. Put them together and it could be a sexy explosion.”
ta-da
Kiyomi and Amanda return with ice to find a steamy situation in need of ice:
via thereallwordgifs.tumblr.com
Kiyomi: “Crazy shit happens at Dinah Shore, it was a little strange to walk into that scene, I just don’t really wanna be involved in some weird lesbian love triangle.”
Kiyomi seems a bit disoriented and takes a drunken Lauren outside to chat. Lauren interviews that maybe Kiyomi fancies her more than she’d initially suspected. Now they can go to The Snowdance Prom Party Fiesta at the mall together with other woodland creatures!
but you realize how good this is for the show, right?
Kiyomi & Lauren are joined intermittently by Amanda who chants softly, “somebody’s jealous” while Kiyomi attempts to maintain her tough masculine exterior while feeling soft.
Whitney: “I mean the make out is totally not a big deal but if you’re walking into a room with a girl that you’re just starting to hook up with and a couple, what’s gonna happen here? Are they about to do like a triple scissor next? What would that look like? It’s like double trouble.”
i mean, is it a cut and paste situation? can we use charcoal pencils? what is a celesbian?
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And this week, for the very first time, I have chosen to read ONLY the hysterical (punz) recap, and eschew the show. An excellent life decision; one to be repeated. Now it’s all LOLgroans, rather than headdesk groans followed by retraumatizing-through-recap-reading.
It must be so tough being the center of the universe. I don’t know how Romi does it.
And can I just say that Punky Bewster was my first crush. I feel kind of old saying that but it’s true. Fun Fact: her husband is one of the creators of Punk’d.
wtf was that sookie joke at the end? AHAHUAHAUAHAHAHAHA AWESOME
Her name is Coco
She is loco
I said “oh, no!”
Gahh I actually feel really bad for Romi and Ali. I know you’re trying to avoid the whole victimizing thing but yeah. I feel like I’ve been there and it sucks and the things you’re doing make perfect sense to you in the moment, even though you look back on the things you did (or maybe you’re not even looking back, maybe you’re feeling it right then) and think, God, I’m so lame, why can’t I just move on? But sometimes moving on is hard. I gotta say this was kinda painful to read. I guess you gotta try and make it less painful somehow…
Obviously can’t see my keyboard through the tears ;)
I feel bad for Ali, for how she’s being portrayed. I mean I know we’re probs not getting a very real picture of any of them. but how they make her seem like she just sits at home, waiting for kiyomi to come back or call so they can fight again, kinda sucks.
anyways. the sara/whitney/lauren makeout was kinda hot. too bad it was interupted.
other thoughts; vero certainly is the coolest cucumber. and I may start using the phrase “hold your tampons”
Just accidentally read (skimmed) the AE version of this as well as yours. They refer to (multiple?) Sarah Croce appearances as evidence of cylons . Not sure whether I’m more pleased with myself that I understood the reference or sad that I read both recaps….
I love how Sarah photo bombs these eps. She makes me laugh every time and think “yup, this will make the recap”! She should wink or tug on her ear as a shout out to AS (and to piss off IFC).
<3 Riese for putting up with this show for us. I think part of the appeal for me is the blatant hatred her and Grace have for this show.
For everyone/the one person feeling sorry for Romi – please remember that at the end of this episode she says, with a completely straight face “Sarahara is consumed in herself.” And then they show Romi walking away and her unibomber sweatshirt has that stupid photo of her kissing her own doppelganger. WTF?!?!?! How many pieces of clothing does she own with her own face on it???
On another note – is that seriously the premise of Punky Brewster? That she got left in a shopping mall by her mother? What a downer!
Hahaha I came here to post that about Romi’s sweatshirt! I’m glad someone else saw that too.
FAVOURITE MOMENT IN ALL OF TELEVISION
I loved that while Amanda was tripping over Lauromi Sara kept trying to dance. You could just see her complete disinterest in the drama as she did a two-step staring off into space. I also grew fond of Amanda in this episode, the girl knows her funny.
Romi needs help. Like I seriously feel bad for her, not because she’s “being bullied” but because she actually doesn’t realize how self absorbed she is.
Sara and Whitney are right about Romi but they really need to stop being catty/bitchy.
Amanda is hilarious.
Kelsey is way cute.
Kiyomi and Lauren are annoying.
Confession time: I actually download the episodes after reading the recaps just so I can enjoy them with all Riese’s jokes in my mind.
Also Punky Brewster rocks.
Where do you do that? Cuz I can’t find a place to download that doesn’t ask for my credit card. And youtube is a bust.
Through torrents!
Thank you. I’ll try that. :)
I’ve tried to read this recap three times now, but I get to that picture of Vero and everything else ceases to matter. ;)
Seriously though, that episode was so crazy, but that made the recap all the more hilarious. Did I actually feel a twinge of empathy for Kiyomi when Lauren was macking with Whitney? I’m not sure. I guess it could have been Sriracha burn from dinner.
Hey, I think I had a thought! Maybe you should put Vero pics at the end of recaps each week as a reward/palate cleanser.
You read my mind, even if Riese and Intern Grace were only half as funny as they actually are I would keep reading these just for pictures of Vero being fucking awesome.
I was doing the drinking game and I couldn’t wait to get wasted, it was not going fast enough so I decided that every crowd shots at Dinah could be counted as ‘2 of Whitney’s exes are in the shot’.
It worked.
Oh, and I’m going to start using Vero as a term for someone who keeps being awesome and calm while everyone else is losing their shit and reverting to their teenage selves.
Everytime I see the intrview shot of Romi with that headband, I am expecting her to show her biceps like a true working woman right here!
http://nibsblog.files.wordpress.com/2008/12/poster-we-can-do-it-opt.jpg
Except Romi’s would obviously say “I can do it!” because everything’s about her and only her.
Obviously. :)
I love how Riese hates this show but AS team members just keep on popping up on it…
It’s kind of crazy how many people I feel like I’d recognise from the LA lesbian scene, just based on TRLW and Autostraddle people just because they all keep popping up all over. Is it that small, the scene?
(UK gay here)
Exactly! It seems tiny but I have no idea being from the UK too!
I was thinking the same thing, “Damn this world is small and wow there are way too many people in everyones business/social bubble, etc.” No wonder I stick to myself, too many people co-mingling usually equates to potential drama. No thanks.
oh i like your recaps very much, they make me laugh. i don’t watch the show because it’s too boring but your recaps are really worth reading, hoop hoop!
Hi. Hey. Thanks to the real l word i watched the laaaast link on the recap and fell in love with Alex. Bad.
lol Yeah, I think that happens to everyone who watches that.
Everybody laughs and explodes and turns into ghost ninjas.
Yes, indeed they did. perfect series finale.
Once again thank you Riese, I hope your liver survives the rest of the series.
Also every episode so far has just re-affirmed my original feeling of Vero-awesomeness
I love Vero. I want to have babies with her.
Romi, Romi, Romi. I wonder what its like inside her head. I wonder if she actually believes everything she says or just puts on the air that she does. Anybody see the preview for this Thursdays show? Oh. My. God. We get to meet Dusty and see her ‘launch’ her singing career. I can’t wait! The argument between Sara and Romi was just dumb. I wish we could get to the bottom of what really happened and why they hate each other.
I still don’t like Amanda but Kiyomi—I don’t know there is just something about her to me. She’s cute with Lauren.
First: Riese, I love you.
Second: I find Kiyomi’s actions revolting.
“Let’s text while sitting next to each other because we’re 15 years old and can’t address each other like adults and then I’ll tell you that you’re making my life hard because I had acquire all of these regional reps/STDs because I don’t have the decency to end a relationship that’s clearly hurting the other half. And then I am going to yell at you for no good reason and I’m going to change my name to KiyoME because I’m going to spend even more time thinking about myself.”
Last: I think we all want to see more of Vero, don’t we?
how could the re cap leave out the never ending drama of the hotel ‘not being ready’ for Romi, the celesbian to check in!!! Is she for real?!? That was Hi-larious!!! poor romi….
um, that happened last week in last week’s episode, and was covered thoroughly in the recap
I am not gonna lie- I think the way Lauren and Kiyomi are crushing on each other is hella cute. They’re like two teenagers!
And I wanna feel bad for Ali but um…I really don’t. She seems to be a little needy and manipulative, which is a major turn off. Someone needs to write a queer girl’s version of “She’s Just Not That Into You” and give her a copy.
Also- I am a little tired of hearing Whitney and Sara bash Romi every chance they get. I don’t like the girl either, but feel that the bashing is a little old.
And I don’t know what happened between Sara and Romi there…It just- I am a little confused.
“And I wanna feel bad for Ali but um…I really don’t. She seems to be a little needy and manipulative, which is a major turn off. Someone needs to write a queer girl’s version of “She’s Just Not That Into You” and give her a copy.”
^^ahaha SO true! I don’t like Ali for the simple fact that she IS needy. I mean before Dinah they were arguing about the fact that Ali slept with someone else and Kiyomi was pissed she didn’t tell her. I think that if you are in a non-manogomous relationship you can do what you want but I do agree with Kiyomi that you shouldn’t lie about it either. They were BOTH clearly doing what they wanted. Why can Ali do that but Kiyomi can’t?
Ali is painful…painfully boring, needy and creepy. The spying around the corner move made me go “Ewww!” out loud.
I didn’t get why Ali lied about sleeping with the other girl either b/c their relationship wasn’t monogamous to begin with. Can’t blame Kiyomi for giving her side-eye on that one.
And yes- the spying around the corner was a little creepy. Why was she even @ the photoshoot anyway? O_O
They flew her out there because IFC needed more fake/scripted drama. Zzzzz
If Vero’s tattoo wasn’t meant to be in the future tense, it has a typo. (I’m a nerd and also felt the need to use google to clarify that my extremely similar tattoo was correct).
Laura has great suspenders.
The Romi and Sarahara argument is so funny/sad…and I guess a really good reminder that no, the world does not revolve around any single one of us even if you’re out and about and go ‘augh I really don’t want to see these people they will all be judging me.’ They probably don’t care nearly as much as you think they do.
I really admire your concentration on reading for real something so close to Vero’s vagina.
(anyway yes it should be “amor omnia vincit”, if I recall correctly. I mean I would never do a tattoo in Latin cause it ruined 5 years of my life. It never made sense to me that it was so similar to italian yet I couldn’t get what the hell they were saying).
Yeah, it should be vincit instead of vincet. I like the phrase but I’ve never taken Latin (just a lot of liturgical experience with it) so I tried to figure out what the most common wording was and picked ‘amor vincit omnia’ for my tattoo because I like that the word order is more like it would be in English, but still correct.
Also, that’s totally me. I don’t miss the forest for the trees (haha, forest) I miss the forest for the tiny pine needle at my feet.
I’m pretty sure it’s correct- ‘omnia vincet amor’ means love will conquer all whereas ‘vincit’ is the present tense.
This has got to be nerdiest lesbian website in the world…
It is correct (I actually wasn’t sure since I kinda erased all my memories of Latin) but since it’s actually a quote most people report it in the way it was said. So I think we can declare her tattoo correct!
Yeah, that’s what I was wondering. Most of the time when you see the quote (from Virgil, or the Caravaggio painting based on the line from Virgil) it is saying “love conquers all” instead of “love will conquer all”. So I’m sticking with maybe she did mean it in the future tense, but we can’t really be sure. :)
One of the unresolved questions of life I suppose. :D
That’s why we totally need an interview of Vero, guys!
By the way, I like to call her by her birth name Veronika, it’s such a HOT name!
Can we please just talk about Jessica suggesting Tara and Pam should hook up?
That’s a different show…or is it? Wait, is Whitney a vampire? Not the explode in sunlight kind, but the gay sparkly rainbow kind. OMG!
Is it a different show? It’s a show i’m more interested in than this one, that’s for sure. Looking at all the true blood references in the recap, i’m not the only one who feels this way.
Vero seems like a really good friend, asking questions about kiyomi’s “relationship” when most people wouldn’t dare in case she actually answered them.
Also I remember a scene last episode where I’m pretty sure right before Somer arrived and her and Kiyomi started sparring, Vero saying “So I was born and raised in New York..” and then gets cut off! Anything Vero has to say about herself has clearly ended up on the cutting room floor.
I know IFC likes to edit and defy the linear aspect of time, but smart TV shows show a few episodes, then wait for the fan reaction to certain people/characters and then start focusing on them more in further episodes. If she’d done it this way she’d realise the love for Vero and we wouldn’t be so frustrated..
I think IFC should create a spinoff on Vero. With the occasional participation of Laura. That would make sense.
(also Autostraddle I would love you forever if you could get an interview of Vero. I mean I already love you, still…)
Yeah, does Laura seem like she’s great on TV/in person? (I am among those who only read the recaps, for the hilarity.) She comes off as so nice and fun in screenshots! I liked that she wore red to the white party (which, why is that a thing, nobody looks good in all white).
It’s hilarious how everybody is so crazy about Vero (I am with you!), the character that we see the less, about 30sec to 2min each episode. It’s like IFC cannot get ANYTHING right, like ever!
I think I’m obsessed with her because she never gets to talk/do anything/be ruined. I just want to keep the image of her as The Hottest Coolest Cucumber alive in my heart forevermore. I think the only characters I ever like on this show are the ones who don’t ever get to talk.
Also, has anyone actually said her name out loud on the show yet? I feel like that hasn’t happened…
Mhm, was thinking the same. If she talked more maybe TRLW would ruin her, and everyone would be sad.
I was actually wondering if Vero’s awesomeness has something to do with the fact that the editors didn’t pay much attention to her. They didn’t manipulate anything about what she said or did.
Or maybe they did but they failed cause she looks anti-dramatic.. and left her in the background.
I remember liking Scarlet cause she is still mysterious to me but I am sure I could be disappointed if I knew more of her.. We need an interview of Vero to be sure!
I’ve often used the phrase “one of those girls you find really attractive….and then she opens her mouth and ruins it all” to describe the disappointment of finding out a girl you like is actually void of all personality and/or kind of an idiot. I don’t think Vero The Coolest Cucumber fits into this category, but I kind of like that IFC hasn’t given us enough to know for sure. I’d like her to remain a mystery and I’ll continue to admire her photos accordingly.
Seriously, we need TEAM VERO shirts (sleeveless of course).
“I’m just at this white party in my bed” – sexy-as-fuck Vero, rolling around in her bed the morning after.
Seriously, she is the reason I fast forward through episodes after reading the recaps.
She gets hotter and more insightful with each Ep. Vero is the best thing about this season.
In episode 4, when Lauren meets the Hunter Valentine girls, there is that scene with Laura and Kiyomi trying to hook up with Lauren and Vero is left in the background again and I was like OMG! How can that even be possible??!! Who will pick Kiyomi or Laura if Vero is sitting at the same table?! That was unbelievable that not even once Lauren looked at her.. Maybe she is truly asking to be left out of those dramas and IFC only wanna focus on that so we don’t get much of Vero.
i’m too fucking depressed for this shit
Was it just my impression or when Amanda and Kyomi were fighting it looked like they both (especially Amanda I think) were about to burst into laugh? I don’t know it looked like kinda fake to me.
Anyway even showing the footage of Sara and Romi fighting (which definetely looked more real at least) didn’t really make sense because honestly they were talking about facts we don’t even know. I felt it was unnecessary.
I don’t understand why Lauren would choose Kyomi over Laura which looks way more fun. But maybe it’s just me.
Now let’s all have a contemplation moment on how Vero is hot and intelligent and has a sexy voice. And on how the show should show her more. Or they should only show her. In the pose of the first picture!
Laura does seem really fun! But she was also snogging some other girl at Dina, so…
Yeah I saw that too. Guess she has found her beloved after all :) I don’t know I probably have a thing for Laura because she reminds of one of my friends. She also likes to carry me like a kangaroo as Laura does with Vero, but a couple of old ladies looked at us with scandalized expression the last time we did that.
The Amanda/Kiyomi fight looked hella scripted! Neither of them couldn’t stop from laughing during the whole thing- I believe deep down inside they knew how ridiculous they looked.
I don’t understand why anyone would even look at Kiyomi singing when Vero is looking so hot playing bass next to her.
I liked Laura before the massive turn off at the end of episode 4..
Yes the thing with Laura in episode 4 left me a little bit shocked too!
Well I don’t know, maybe it’s because Lauren don’t see Vero as a potential girlfriend since Vero already has a girlfriend? I guess so..
lmao that indeed IS tucky williams with vero (sidenote: vero is capital HOT!) and also the very one who was kissing laura.
oh lesbians, small world, eh.
Vero and Tucky would be hot together. Yeah. Hot.
Yeah apparently Tucky got asked to be in TRLW and got recorded and filmed whilst she was at Dinah but nobody, not even herself knows if the footage will be shown.
Lauren, take the threesome with Sara and Whitney. Leave the Kiyomi.
“I love hotels and 95% of the time would rather be drinking/laughing/smoking with my friends in a hotel room, rolling around on sheets we’re not responsible for laundering, than be outside in the sticky-sweaty sunshine with People Who Enjoy Socializing.”
This is also me on any vacation.
Seriously, and also room service is the best invention modern life has to offer.
That was the best line of this recap, because it sounded exactly like something my girlfriend would say!
“look this is neat and stuff, but sarah croce is standing behind me right now and i think i’m gonna go hit that”
oh look my inner monologue has found its way into a Real L Word recap.
Hey guys, this is from autostraddle recap of dinah 2010, is this who i think it is ? cause i think it is….. :-)
http://imgur.com/oIjkU.jpg
i went back and looked at all the photos we have from the wet t-shirt contest and it definitely is not her… but wouldn’t it be glorious if it was
spoiler alert*****
totally saw romi walking hand in hand with some dude down the streets of long beach. guess when the filming is over so are her and kelsey. no wedding bells there.
that is not a spoiler! i have mentioned dustyandromi.tumblr.com in every recap six times, and at least once a day in regular life
Was he not wearing a shirt? It looks like he never wears a shirt. (lowcut tank tops with Romi’s face on them don’t count).
Yes, sometimes I browse that tumblr to make me feel better about my life.
First time I saw that tumblr I was like “uuu Romi and her gay best friend looks so nice together”. Then..well we know how it ended up.
But seriously he dresses like my best friend. And my best friend is very very gay. Maybe only in Italy lowcut tank tops are a thing a lot of gay guys uses?
Nope. It’s not just in Italy. He definitely trips my gaydar.
Looks like we’re not the only ones.
Last episode, Kelsey: “I’m not worried about Dusty. I mean at first I definitely thought he was playing for our team, I mean he was gay, but then they told me he had a girlfriend so…”
After seeing this Ep, I know I made the right decision to avoid Dinah. I went once when I lived out west and I couldn’t understand the hype. The parties were in run-down hotel ballrooms, where I’d expect to see a bad high school prom. The pool party was just nasty. Even the private parties were lame. The nicest thing about it was the drive from LA and back. I’m not a prude either. I’ve been to way better parties in NY, LA, Ptown and Montreal. Vagina Shore is a one time only deal. (the DEB comments coming in 3-2-1…)
I want that pic of Vero to be on the cover of Tigerbeat…for the annual lezzie issue. Should we start an email campaign?
okay, is there a distinction between a celesbian who’s a famous lesbian and a celesbian who’s famous FOR being a lesbian (the former being someone like Maddow and the latter being someone like Whitney)? just wanna know.
also, if your goal through these recaps was for me to develop an incredible celesbicrush (that’s a thing now) on Vero, then congratulations, for you have succeeded.
but you see in dealing with romi, whitney and sara didn’t know they were dealing with a STAUNCH character. s-t-a-u-n-c-h. theres nothing worse im telling you.
(appreciating the grey gardens in this, highlight of my day)
So much awesome in this recap I don’t even know where to start.
–captions are gold
–I am still scarred by that damn fridge episode
–five months? they lost her at five months? that made my heart implode. poor ladies.
–I will never be tempted to watch this show because I can tell the recaps are a million times better than the actual episodes. GOD’S WORK. YOU ARE DOING GOD’S WORK.
I seriously cannot tell you how happy I am that someone else noticed how the girl from Metro was standing behind Lauren during HV’s show at Dinah
Yes! What’s with that?! Also, that girl was already wearing a mic when she ‘spontaneously’ hit on Lauren in NYC.. Something is weird there and I shouldn’t even care but I am getting very curious about how much manipulation is on the show.
In the same register, I absolutely agree with Amanda & Kyiomi fight looking totally scripted.
Well Sweat Headband is clearly Ilene’s new girlfriend, so expect a new theme song next season
and you know what else gets me about that Kiyomi/Amanda fight? Amanda has snark for days, if she and Kiyomi really didn’t get along that would have turned out so much worse. She could barely keep a straight face
Ok, so I usually first read the recap and then watch the episode. This time I did it the other way round. Wasn’t as funny, then I realized something was missing! Now reading this I am LMAO so thank you Riese!
let’s go for parts:
1- starting with this picture of Vero is not only distracting but also no good for my sanity. My my, that girl!
2- What the f*ck Romi Klinger? I used to like her a lot on the other seasons but now she’s so self absorbed! And yes, I think Withney and Sarahara etc are giving her a bad time but please!
3- I wasn’t a big fan of Kyomi but now seeing her head over heels for Lauren is so cute I can’t help but liking her a little bit.
4- Ali spying behind a curtain, man this girl is creepy!. And yes, she totally is THAT girl.
5- Any inclusion of Alex Vega or Sarah Croce in a recap is to thank for
…6!- Can we have a recap for Somer Fridays? don’t know if you’ve seen it but the girl is hilarious! As Sarahara would say: Somer is fun, Riese is fun. Put them together and…
Love your recaps. You are a comedic genious. I am so glad you put that picture of Vero up. I was starting to wonder if I was the only one that considered her the hottest woman on the entire show.
oh my god kiyomi and lauren as a couple are so physically beautiful. They are like.. the epitome of femme and butch. ar I can’t get over it. Also, lauren has amazing boobs. I actually watched this episode instead of reading recaps just for them.
Thank you for finding a way to connect The Real L Word to Grey Gardens. J’adore.
my thoughts exactly.
romi is pretty but what the hell is up with her blush? does she just say “screw it” and rub her entire face in it? is she taking makeup inspiration from clowns? as for chewbacca eyebrows( also known as saaddaa) and whitney: yes romi is unstable, dramatic, and crazy, but so are they! all THREE of them need to take a look in the mirror and realize they are exhibiting all the atrocious behavior they insist on calling other people out for. and as cray as romi is, whitney and chewie standing with a group of (supposed) adults talking shit about her MORE THEN ONCE made them look like completely juvenile, bullying assholes. kiyomi is an ass. the end. while ali is not remotely approaching cute and is kind of needy, kiyomi should have told her what went down during dinah so she wouldn’t have come all the way to l.a. like an idiot text fighting and being the only one at the photoshoot who didn’t know kiyomi hooked up with lauren all weekend. all i can think of is how isolated ali must have felt in that situation. again, kiyomi is a world class asshole. i’m not, nor will i ever be impressed by lauren and her dishwater pink hair. did she dye her hair with kool aide in the kitchen sink?….these people are vapid and annoying.
Romi should leave the Real L Word and have a quiet life. She should give up trying to be a pop star. Her singing is terrible. I also feel that Romi is not a strong person. She could crack any minute now. Plus the show has run its course. It is not as much fun watching as it used to be. My two cents.
Holy Gzus! Romi was looking very Unabomber :) Romi is a fame whore and I would like to stuff her in a box and ship her somewhere and arrange her a marriage to a cow.
COINCIDENTALLY, THIS HAPPENS TO BE THE EXACT STRATEGY I EMPLOY TO ENDURE WATCHING THIS SHOW