Welcome to the big fundraiser for A Good Cause, every Charity Enthusiast’s Favorite Charity! No within a few minutes Whitney mentions the charity once — no lower third, of course. I think she said “Falling Whistle,” named after what Sara did last night on the street outside of HauteBootyJuice.
eat a cupcake, save a child
There’s a little “everyone’s going to the party” montage, wherein Francine still can’t believe it’s butter, Cori & Kacy reference having sex earlier that day, Romi’s got no pants on, Claire’s gagging herself with a toothbrush, Sajdah’s being dorky and Whitney’s just bein’ Whitney.
Kelsey’s on her way too:
lesbian by night, urban bicycle hero by day
So are these strange kids:
someone, sarah croce actress of UNICORN PLAN-IT, sara medd autostraddle calendar stylist
Kelsey says it’s weird to not be with Romi anymore, and she’ll probably always love her, but you know the thing is:
preach
Claire’s bringing her friend Mila along so Mila can be a human body shield.
Claire: “When I see Francine it’s like I know you so well, I know you like inside and out, I know every crevice of your body, it’s just awkward… I loved her for so long and to now not even be like hey, how’s it going, it’s just sad.”
Furthermore, Claire sees her hottie with a new body and delivers the following eval:
Claire, re: Khristianne – “Oh my god I can’t watch that. I have puke in my mouth a little bit… .she’s not necessarily my total type, you know, I’m like a little bit more selective!??! Like… it’s mind-boggling!”
Let the games begin, motherfuckers! The first game, “Role Reversal” Relay, deconstructs our understanding of the gender binary and was heavily influenced by Judith Butler.
Challenges include:
+ Throwing plates from a bucket to a teammate in yellow gloves standing in front of a bucket (this is how Pants would do the dishes if Pants did dishes, obvs)
+ Tying a tie
+ Applying fake eyelashes
+ Doing a three-legged race in underpants and stilettos
+ Stuffing your face into an aluminum pan filled with broken eggs, whipped cream and afterbirth
fun with gender
Whitney & Romi conference at the pool to talk about themselves —
Whitney: “What makes you pumps?”
Romi: “Well I just cut up my shirt into nothing, I have a pink bathing suit on with matching lipstick and I’d rather be laying out right now than playing sports. What makes you pants?”
romi has blind jenna's USB thing on her necklace
Whitney: “What makes me pants is I have dirty baseball pants on and I would prefer to get tan while outside doing activities.”
AHEM. No. It’s this:
Romi: “There’s a chemistry between the two of us… bla bla bla”
look! girls!
Other activities include:
+ Cori beating Kacy with a giant foam stick, talking crazy about Kacy being the mother of her hypothetical baby
watch the uterus! watch the g-ddamn uterus!
+ Thinking long and hard about Scarlett being a top
this explains why whitney has never fucked scarlett
+ Cori & Kacy sneaking off into the bushes to have sex, which I found to be the most relatable scene of the episode and Jess thinks was totally fake.
Kacy: “We had a little fun, loosened up.”
Cori: “You were really loose!”
power botttommmmm
+ And, of course:
Fill ‘er up:
you tell me, fancypants
Whitney: “I see Pants & Pumps Throwdown possibly spreading across the nation.”
Whitney: “Year Two we’re making it a little sweeter.”
pants-on-pumps culture
Claire: “It’s hot out, nobody told me it would be this hot”
what if this show suddenly became a bret easton ellis novel
Because nobody on this show can use words properly except for Francine’s Mom, Rachel wraps up her storyline with this doozy:
Rachel: “L.A. has turned out to be my saving grace, it really gave me a moment to clear my mind and see that I need help.”
Whitney talks about herself:
Whitney: “Jaq…We’re very compatible, we have a lot of things in common. But you know, distance is hard to deal with…”
let's have a toast to all the douchebags, a toast to all the assholes, let's have a toast for all the people wrestling in chocolate syrup, every one of them i know
At some point in time later or earlier, Romi and her partner are hitting up the Love & Pride Room for Love & Pride’s third product placement spot, starring this swarthy vaguely European man who talks fancy and describes Love & Pride as a “jewelry destination for the gay community,” which makes it sound like a mall or something, which would be wild.
no this isn't whitney's apartment i swear
Gaston says that they’re “extremely talented, extremely original” and that he’s “really excited and want to work with you and I want to see you fly because you have beautiful ideas and beautiful talent.”
Then we get this silly flashback montage heavily influenced by the editor who just discovered the Watercolor Filter wherein Romi again calls Kelsey an alcoholic and reflects on her era of self-reflection.
i also see a future for Hija and Futch
Cori & Kacy are at the gynecologist’s, talking about sperm and ovulation. Here are my notes for this scene:
“here comes my old friend Mr.Probe”
OMG CORI IS OVULATING LET’S SHOOT HER UP WITH THIS SHIT
I was born to be a Mom
let's squeeze each other until a baby pops out of our ears
The gyno probes Cori’s uterus for signs of ovulation and certifies that she’s good to go while everyone aahhs at the sonogram they showed in last week’s preview to make us think Cori was having an immaculate conception.
Cori and Kacy reflect on the strength of their partnership and it’s really genuine and cute:
Cori: “This is five years in the making of really hard work and honesty and building trust. It doesn’t happen overnight.”
This empty uterus is a big surprise considering we saw these premiere photos before the show even started airing:
three months after filming wrapped up, NO BABAY
Back at, I believe, Chanel’s monochrome chateau, the duo is packing for Chanel’s annual pilgrimage to Jamaica where they can muse over the many colors of the sunset and have sex on the beach and pick up that journal where it left off.
your stomach is making funny noises
Sajdah’s packed “three t-shirts, three shorts, three underwear, three socks,” which is idiotic, and Chanel’s packed 16 t-shirts, a dress for sitting at the pool, a dress for sitting at the beach, a dress for a formal dinner, 2 prs shorts/skirts for the pool, a hoodie if it gets cold at night, five comfortable thongs, one thong that looks super-sexy but is uncomfortable to wear for more than a few hours, regular panties, heels, flip-flops, wedges, a racerback bra, a regular bra, capri pants, a straw hat, costume jewelry, a sarong, a baby frog, a flashlight, and 7 cans of Diet Coke.
in which chanel becomes a critter
Sajdah: “What are we gonna do in Jamaica, let’s practice!”
Chanel: “Practice what?”
Sajdah: “Whatever we’re gonna do there.” [starts poking at her]
Chanel: “No, stop.”
Sajdah: “Like pretend you’re in your swimsuit.”
Chanel: “No!”
Sajdah: “Pretend like you’re changing into your swimsuit.”
Chanel: “Pretend I already changed and I’m wearing a dress over my swimsuit.”
Sajdah: “Okay well, let me see your swimsuit.”
Chanel: “You’re nasty, stop.”
Sajdah interviews that she and Chanel really really love each other and that’s all it takes, which is inaccurate yet adorable. Sajdah wins the show for having the hottest girlfriend at the end.
This reunion is a big surprise considering we saw these premiere photos before the show even started airing:
three months after filming stopped, the love burns on
Back to Whitney’s Chemistry Couch, where Whit’s confessing her love for… OH MY GOD I WONDER WHO IT’S GONNA BE?!!!
i know it's hard to take me seriously in this wicker hat, but bear with me
Whitney: “Jaq is great and we’re good friends but we don’t have that chemistry, honestly I’ve tried it with other girls and the fact is that they’re not you.”
Whitney: “I love you.”
Sardaaah: “I love you too.”
Whitney: “You’re such an asshole.”
Saraharahanti: “You are!”
BALSBALALABABLBLBLALA bla bla bla
So the season’s over and we’ve got a truckload of metaphors for how Whitney [the character] feels about Sara [the character] — there’s intense “chemistry,” she’s “addicted” to Sara and Sara is a “big bag of heroin,” Saritney have “magnetism”— but nobody ever got a Get out of Rehab Free Card for saying “I can’t stay away from heroin, so it’s probably meant to be.” And, when an addict is explaining their addiction, they usually mention “the high.” What’s the high, Whitney? Is it just sex? ‘Cause you have “intense chemistry” with every brown-haired tattooed tanned white girl on the West Coast, so that’s not something only Sara can provide.
“I can’t deny the chemistry with Romi.” – Whitney
“Every time [Jaq and I] see each other there’s definite chemistry.” – Whitney
“I would love to hook up with Whit because we have really amazing chemistry.” – Rachel
Ultimately the emptiness of this final scene circles back to my primary complaint with this show, and maybe with all reality teevee shows. Who ARE these people really? Why have the most interesting aspects of their personalities and relationships been extracted from the show? (Although it does make cast interviews more interesting.)
Whitney’s journey stayed almost exactly the same as it was last season, swapping out Tor and Romi for Jaq and Rachel.
tell me about it
Do Sara and Whitney make each other laugh? Does Whitney bring Sara her coffee in bed and does Sara know that when she said two sugars actually she meant three? Has Sara ever left Whitney a surprise cute note in her bag? How do they do on long drives, long flights, long weekends? Does Whitney pump the gas and take Sara to the dentist? What are their private jokes?
The thing this show failed to do AGAIN is fill the vacuous holes of these riotous relationships with actual meaning or connection — I’ve still got no clue what Romi and Kelsey had in common besides tequila or what Francine and Claire ever saw in each other besides the abstractions chocked into their frankenbitten interviews about love/connection/chemistry.
The only genuine chemistry we saw on screen was between Cori & Kacy — and they’re also the only ones who never TOLD us they had chemistry, magnetism, or one of the other causes of lovesickness transmittable by toilet seat in the West Hollywood metro area. They showed us, just like my creative writing teacher told me to.
ain't that the truth
When Dana left Alice, I cried. When Tina left Bette I cried, when Cherrie Jaffe left Shane I cried. I cried when “Lonely Lonely” played while Bette and Jenny stared sadly out their windows, I cried when Jenny told Shane “it’s you, it’s always been you,” I cried when Shane left Carmen and every time Carmen cried, I also cried. Even at the end of one of the worst television episodes of all time, I managed to cry for Tasha coming back to Alice. Because we knew these people — not all of them, of course, which’s why less-developed characters like Helena, Max and Jodi didn’t make my list. As a viewer, we literally enjoyed seeing Dana with Alice, we found it entertaining. I don’t think anyone could say the same for any of this season’s matchups, save Cori & Kacy.
When I had lunch with Nikki & Jill a few months back, one of the things that struck me right away was their compatibility — they have this really mature way of agreeing to disagree and giving the other person space to be themselves. Like we knew they were happy together, and loved each other and had shared interests, but we didn’t know that they actually go above and beyond all those things in actual life. They have chemistry, is what I’m saying, but all we saw on the show was exaggerations, disagreements and distance, most of it manufactured in the editing room.
But maybe I’m expecting too much, wanting all this flesh and bone underneath the archetypes and one-liners and repetitive storylines. Maybe this is just what reality television is and that thing is not my thing. What about you? Was it your thing?
However.
Ultimately these girls are one very important thing and that thing is, more or less, happy.
They love themselves (to a fault, some might argue) and they’re cool with being who they are, even when that person is chopped up into pieces, processed through an editing machine and then ruthlessly devoured by various internet writers. Even that’s okay with them. That’s just how much they love themselves. And I’ll be damned if there isn’t at least one Deb in Idaho who could learn a little bit from this show. About self-acceptance. You know what I mean. It’s okay to be gay, it’s okay to be yourself, it’s okay to stand up in front of the world and be exactly precisely who you are. These girls are doing it. You can do it.
For a lot of people out there — maybe even you, dear reader — these people remind you of yourself, only more comfortable about their sexuality/personalities and probably more traditionally ‘good-looking’. So this is just you on blast!.
I bet you’re wondering — how can I repay Riese for sitting through all these things three times just to make me laugh and smile and feel good about being a lesbian in America in 2011?
Well, if you’ve enjoyed these recaps, feel free to throw some change in the jar!
So, to summarize:
When you cancel Showtime tomorrow, don’t forget to tell ’em why you’re mad.
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Are they going to have a follow up episode documenting the success of DirtyBoudoir.com? How will I sleep at night without knowing? :/
Right? Who will spread the word of Birkenstock-free lesbians roaming the earth?
(I think someone here actually posted a link to her site in a comment-miraculously, it did come to be-but it was neither dirty nor boudoir.)
But aren’t Birkenstocks essential items for the lovely game of “Lesbian or Hipster?”
Her site is aninitial.com. If you type in dirtyboudoir.com though it automatically redirects. I’m sure she knew real l word fans were gonna be looking for it and didn’t want to miss out.
It’s a nice site but it’s mostly just pretty pictures and not a lot of actual articles.
So I went to this site just to see what it was about and I still have no idea. WTF? This Claire person makes me want to pull out my hair.
As I fully expected, Claire’s website is a hot mess. She can’t spell. I think that she should have either taken that internship opportunity and learned more about publishing/writing simply started a little blog for her friends to read. A tumblr or something.
The absolute low point of the show, apart from the very pointless screen shot of Romi’s vadge on her way to the shower, and the awkward Romi/Kelsey love scene, has GOT to be that argument Claire and Chas had where they argued about who was cooler and less ugly because they had “f**cked hotter girls” than the other. I was so embarassed for them. Was anyone else cringing at how lame that was? I am cringing just remembering this.
I’m not normally this bitchy, but hearing how mean spirited Claire was on the last episode regarding Francine’s new girlfriend, who seems on the whole a much better catch than boring and dumb Claire, makes me feel less guilty.
Word.
Claire’s “website”: it’s just what you’d expect from the girl whose ego conducted that embarrassingly hubristic interview with PowerUp! and Jamie Babbit. You know, the one in which she couldn’t even verbalize the objective of her site but said, “fashion,” “words”, “I don’t know,” “no background” and “like” (x5) before she contemptuously turned down an offer from Jamie Babbit for an internship (?!?). Right after admitting that she knew Nothing about the industry she was trying to break into.
Her site has a high production value because she’s managed to convince very talented people to donate their time and skills to her project. Great. I hope she’s giving credit to those people who have contributed their expertise to make it look like a legitimate professional venture.
Because here’s the biggest problem, and the problem that Claire is solely responsible for: the interviews/articles are just dreadful. The titles are engaging, but then you click through to the article and what you get is essentially an article with the depth of marketing text on the back of an organic cereal box. Real questions: Celebrity crush? Top or bottom? Blonde or brunette? Tits or ass? (3 word answers. No depth. No irony.)
Really? That’s how you’re going to let your readers learn more about lesbians that they may see as role models or at least very interesting people who are living their lives in the 2010s?
Check it out for yourselves. When you read these interviews, it’s patently clear that there’s not a single thought in the interviewer’s mind (Claire’s) except maybe: Ooh, which celebrity will I be interviewing next? And oooh, I wonder how long it will take me to claw my way to the top of the new media mogul pile?
Why I have beef with this: It’s not really Claire-hating. I don’t know the woman. I only read the recaps here on AS and she’s a highly-manipulated character in a Reality Show. So she’s a construct. Fine.
What really irritates me is that “The Real L Word”,” though a reality show, by dint of being the Only one out there about lesbians/queer girls, presents the storylines/actions of the characters as what the lesbian/queer community is actually doing.
As an owner of 3 successful lesbian/queer-run internet/interactive businesses over the last 15 years, it’s a tough world out there. If Chaiken is going to choose to present such obvious fairy tales as the truth, how will that impact the real goals of real-life queers who want to start their own companies?
We will still find it’s very difficult, not only because starting a small/medium business is always difficult, but because we still DO run up against ALL KINDS of bias and roadblocks as we try to make our dreams realities. Whether we’re masculine-of-center (that be me) or feminine of center or gender-queer or choosing our own identity day by day.
It all comes back to the fact that the Real L Word is a reality show; reality shows are bullshit; and the L word in particular has spent VERY little time on the real lives/careers of their characters. But it still sucks.
I’d like to see more examples of queer women really living in the world and facing the challenges that come along with that. I started my own company at 23 and I know there are plenty of 23 yr olds doing the same thing now. Damn. I would have loved to have been able to see how other people LIKE ME were negotiating that ground. (Not like the Harvard-educated dudes that I was selling services/products to. Or the 25-yr-old male Ivy League “wunderkinds” on the cover of every biz/interwebz mag.) I’m positive that current 23-yr-olds are way more together than I was, but damn, we’re a minority in the business/new media world, and we can use as much help as we can get when taking risks and trying to make our dreams reality.
Boo on Ilene. Maybe she doesn’t want to present stories that would be enlightening, honest, and constructive because she’d rather not face any competition. Sorry for the length of my comment. I feel very strongly about this.
Thanks for solving this harrowing mystery for me.
I think it’s great that the first thing you see on the website is “an interview with Whitney Mixter!” Good ole Whitney. If she’s known for anything, it’s definitely sticking to her guns. It’s refreshing.
Upon further viewing, it is clear Claire never met an apostrophe she liked.
Apostrophes are such debs.
LiLo/her WeHo doppelganger was at the chocolate oilwrestling in this episode! (I’m 90% sure)
Exhibit: http://i416.photobucket.com/albums/pp243/aj682/LiLo_real.jpg
LILO VAGUESEXUAL (Trademark of AS memeber Katie)
P.S. I hope this isn’t a double post.
! :)
I love love so much these recaps.
The only reason I’m sad this show is over is because it means there will be no more recaps to read.
I donated to the Real L Word Survivor Fund so you can go buy a bottle of whiskey and drink to forget this show ever existed! Love you!
You complain and complain about a lack of visibility and about nothing speaking towards your culture. And then, you get a television show dedicated to your culture. Your response? Complaining and more bitching.
Why the LGBT community can’t get further? Gee, I don’t know. Is it because you’re uptight and can’t be thankful for the gift of such publicity? It may not be your thing, and you may not understand what being popular and apart of a bumping lesbian community is, but you should be thankful the show is happening.
It’s no different than you wishing and wishing a celebrity was gay and reading every last detail into their possible homosexuality, but then turning on a bisexual out female because they are with a man. “Oh, please turn gay for me, please!!!” “What, you’re bi? Bitch, you will end up with a man, I hate you!”
“Please put more gay women on television, please, please please!!!” “What, I don’t like THESE gay women, fucking nevermind! I am going to go watch Golden Girls!”
It’s a tv show, it is for entertainment. Most people don’t want to watch housebound lesbians knitting and not having sex. These may not be your people, but I find them pretty progressive and varied.
Uptight lesbians of the world unite!
yo, you spelled “you” wrong. and forgot to read the last three paragraphs of the recap. no prob, you’re welcome.
LOL.. “uptight”. Really papi, really?!
omg ifc?????
deb?????
regardless
edited by riese
Yo again? Dag, haterz gon’ hate.
What did we say about trolling Ilene? Naughty.
^^^^^^ “a bumping lesbian community”
*scissor bump*
88
okay.
Oh, I get it. The LGBTQIA community should just be happy with whatever gets thrown our way regardless of quality, and any queer media should be above criticism (even if it deserves it) solely because it features our community.
Right.
Yeah, but Golden Girls doesn’t make me feel gross and empty inside after I watch it…
unnecessary cameras shots this season was a vag, a tit, and an ass.
you stay classy IFC.
love love love francine’s mom. i wish she was on the show for more than one episode. I mean, 60’s Japanese singer/actress? totally awesome.
“Thinking long and hard about Scarlet being a top”
This.
Hey Riese, you’re free. YOU ARE FREE.
Buy an epic new smoking device – use it – and relax in celebration of your new found freedom.
Imagine me saying this in Kathy Bates’ Six Feet Under character Bettina’s voice:
“I sure as heck hope yer girlfriend knows you deserve a fine romp in the sheets and some good ol’ pamperin’ this weekend! You deserve that shit for putting up with that mess of a show for so damn long! Honey I woulda’ quit the first time that Marissa girl said “This is crazy. Now ya’ll make sure a buy ya a nice big chandelier too. I know ya’ll queer folks love them thangs.”
woah. when I read “epic new smoking device” I thought about Lost and how I miss the show. I don’t think you meant that kind of smoke, though.
I wish I could still wear tri-colored bras from Limited Too. But I haven’t been able to since I was 12, since they don’t carry anything above a B cup (at least they didn’t in 2002). I remember being so bummed because I totally wanted the one with the cupcake pattern on it or whatever.
I laughed at for a good two minutes at the ghostwriter intro…i felt like i just learned what a modem was…again!
Thank you for putting yourself through this for the love of tragic comedy. It’s actually disgusting..all of it. But you’re a champion for finding the funny in this shitpile.
The Ghostwriter reference had me in stitches too! I used to love that show when I was a kid and to see it show up here was…not what I expected!
This was THE best recap of all time – you really outdid yourself, Riese. I loooooved Francine’s mom so much! They should make a show just about her, Vivian and Scarlett. And there should be no mention of the word “penis” or of any food wrestling. The end.Also, I loved the summary/screencap montage.
Now we can all celebrate never having to watch this show again!
the thing that connects all of them is the watering hole (they all go to the pyt parties) or ” WHAT IF THIS SHOW SUDDENLY BECAME A BRET EASTON ELLIS NOVEL” then i would guess that julian is everyone’s shitty dealer and they all go to the same boring ass party every other day and blah blah blah disappear here. that’s what this show made want to do.
riese good job, you where working with less than zero for material. the only reason i’m not canceling showtime is for weeds and dexter, and they know it.
p.s. who didn’t love franny’s mom! the was the best thing (other than francine, kelsey, and barb [guys remember barb! she needs more air time!}) on the show.
i imagined every female character in every brett easton ellis novel to have looked something like claire at claire’s age
holy fuucks……it’s true, she’s all of them. all of them in one tantrum throwing person. now every time i read b.e.e. all the female characters turn into claire with a slight costume change
right here blaire maybe even lauren
http://www.aceshowbiz.com/images/wennpic/claire-moseley-premiere-of-the-real-l-world1.jpg
this is kim, if the accessories and her shoes where gone she would be muriel
http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lo35idZvXa1qcl2r7o1_500.jpg
if she dressed it up a bit more she would be evelyn richards.
yes… that really does explain why Whitney has never fucked Scarlett!
I also love Francine’s mom… her reaction was pretty amazing, compared to how Tracy’s mom last season.
brava, here’s to the last of an amazing series of recaps! i watched last season, but this season i found the recaps were way more entertaining, so i spared myself the hours of waiting for free links on the interwebs to load.
at the end of the season, i am left with several questions/comments/requests:
1. thank god that you guys posted that bit way back when about lesbians out-earning their straight counterparts. if not for that, i would be left wondering how these women afford to shuttle back and forth from la to san fran every other week like it ain’t no thang.
2. can someone confirm for me that the whole creative job thing is an la phenomenon limited to la la land? because otherwise i need to reconcile my identity with workdays that start at 8am.
3. is there anyway that intern grace or some other brilliant and so-inclined human can make a collage of all the celebs/models/cultural figures throughout time who have sported one feather earring? because i can barely handle romi dubbing herself trendsetter of america one more time all because a few queers in west hollywood liked season 1 maybe a little too much. and i am just assuming that’s what happened. it may simply be a case of solipsism gone wild.
4. for whatever reason, romi and whitney hooking up at the end of the last episode was like shane and jenny all over again. just, no.
5. i really like tattoos. i imagine that whitney and all her look alikes must also like tattoos since they are covered in them. so. do you think when they hook up – not the first time, necessarily, but the second or third maybe, depending on pre-hook up alcohol consumption – they sort of scavenger hunt one another looking at whatever shit they put all over their ass cheeks. that’s pretty much what i was thinking during the whitney/jaq shower scene.
6. francine’s mom is adorbs. i bawled at how great she took francine’s coming out. and i felt that familiar pang when francine asked if her mom still loved her.
7. cori and kacy are real humans, spelling weirdness aside. i agree they had real chemistry, and i bawled again during their oceanfront fertility ceremony. there’s something special about the queer urban family, the village raising a child. it’s a common trope for queer folk (or infertile folk, or anyone who uses ART) to imagine their baby out there in the universe, finding their way toward them. it may be a little kooky, but it’s also really hopeful. just, yeah. in the end, these two were legit.
8. if by some improbable turn of events, i ever find myself at the abbey and run into whitney taping the real l word 17, i vow to loudly yell, “OH YES, I REMEMBER YOU FROM THE RECAPS BY RIESE ON AUTOSTRADDLE DOT COM.” and maybe bare a boob in the process just to see how Eileen would jump through hoops to edit around it.
I have to watch this episode because for years I’ve heard stories about Franny’s mama and now I can see her on TV. She looks so fabulous. I can’t wait.
Riese, great job. Srsly, I’m impressed at your ability to make something so boring/ frustrating into something hilarious and interesting. I’m also impressed at how you managed to keep down your lunch/dinner through all these viewings. Kudos to you my friend.
Real L Word ladies… congrats on being done with the show. Now, put your clothes back on dammit!
er, *ilene. (sorry ilene, don’t sue kthanx.)
Riese, you deserve a medal. And a bottle of whiskey. And a puppy. This was hilarious/smart as fuck and also now I’m obsessed with Yoko.
Omigod, Riese, I don’t know how you did it. This episode was so goddamn bland, but you still made a ridiculously funny recap. You and InternGrace make beautiful magic together.
(Glad to see the Vagina costume made its appearance here lol So fucking random)
Also, I have to say your blurb about understanding Rachel letting go of that pressure from her body was really moving. The most intelligent thing from that entire show.
Really, nobody else thought it was hilarious that Cori and Kaci bought their fertility lilies at SADA’S FLOWERSHOP??
oh saddddddda, I will miss you.
These recaps are the best out there… you never fail to say what we most of us are thinking. The only think I was waiting to be mentioned that never was is the fact that Saj has a different car every week… I wish they explained that shit too on top of other crazy shit that was going on this season. I hope Im not the only one who noticed that. All in all, Im so glad this season is over… i admit, this was a total guilty pleasure because this is all we really do have in terms of visibility, but I literally lost a plethora of brain cells and I now must re-learn the true meanings of words i.e i just re-learned that lust and love are totally not the same thing, as Professor Whitney and her loyal follower Saj would so have us believe…. ( i need to relearn the words “honestly” and “literally” too.)
JAQ APPROPRIATED THREE DIFFERENT CULTURES JUST TO MAKE THAT ONE EARRING
hahahaha
Francine’s Mom is great, she’s hilarious.
You may feel insecure about the quality of this recap, but you shouldn’t! It was funny as always, and the things you said about Rachel’s therapy session and about how showing happy queers is the one thing this show got right were both poignant and important things to say. And that also proves you put about 563% more thought into this show than anyone who produced or edited it did.
While I don’t think there are any e-cards you can send to come out, David Ellis Dickerson did make some coming out greeting cards that are fun.
Also, you win FOREVER for referencing Kate Nash’s “Nicest Thing”. I love love love that song.
WOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOO ITS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE LOVE SO MUCH YOU
The only thought I have left for the show are:
1) Am I the only one who noticed that in both seasons of The Real L Word someone has dressed up as a vagina?
2) Scarlet’s a top= Dreams do come true
also yoko is the less-drunk, asian royce.
(royce: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD8gOvJ8gmA)
hahaha love this forever
i donno lenny bruce and his pieces of shhhhiiiiit!!!
GOOOD!!!! GOD!!!
In Whitney style: im not gonna lie, these recaps were the best thing about this show or anything IFC has ever created and produced.
On a different note, what’s the song at around 46:36? Goes sth “you don’t have to change at all. You fake it for the cameras, your smile just says it all. Hey young girl…” I’ve googled the hell out of this bitch and also listened to all the songs sho.com lists for this episode but no luck. Someone tell me, please, before I spontaneously combust.
so this took me forever but the song is: rich kid sound system – hey young girl
So what did Yoko think the cameras were doing there, before her daughter came out?
This was the best recap that I read about the last episode of the show. I have to agree with the poster before me said that the last episode was bland. Let’s just hope that Showtime doesn’t renew the show for another season. It has overstayed its welcome, IMO.
If the show were ever to come back, they would have to get a whole new set of cast of twentysomethings who are in college or have jobs. Truth to be told Showtime was trying to get a younger crowd this season.
YOU GUYS.
My grandma watches this. Like, in a legit way. DVR’s it and everything. And she’s always asking me questions & I’m like, “No, it’s not real dearest grandma…it’s like that show ‘The Real Housewives’, y’know? SO NOT REALLY REAL”.
…but she also asked me why they changed ALL of the actresses..which makes me think that that “fine” line between TLW and TRLW isn’t all that fine for some people.
My point here is that, Riese, your recaps here help me stay up to speed with my grandma w/r/t TRLW.
Your grandma and Francine’s mom should be friends/President.
Riese, you missed something. Lindsay Lohan was at that party: http://i.imgur.com/cWLxD.jpg
Secondly, I’d have put a picture of Yoda (from Star Wars) in the scene with Francine’s mum: “Claire, I no like. So much bad for you, her” :)
But… how will we know when Kaci and Cori have a baby??!!
i agree
the saddest thing about the show is that it had potential
instead of just descending completely into pandering camp they gave a few heartfelt truly interesting moments that offset everything
they COULD have devoted each episode to a different character–not an unusual “reality” trope and really given a true documentary style view into these people’s lives with some depth
or
they COULD have just gone full on “real world” and made it scandalous and immature and a guilty pleasure.
instead it just straddled the line and wound up being boring and frequently uncomfortably awkward.
and yeah i watched every episode but i also watch “true blood” and “entourage” and “weeds” so i clearly have no taste
I have to agree with you on that.
slow clap
I kind of disagree with the sentiment that show represents lesbians loving themselves, being who they are and not caring, and living life. Deb in Idaho is instead viewing a bunch of women with some serious issues – relating to their sexuality and family dysfunction – who are filmed having sex and talking about private things in therapy in front of a mass audience. Sure these women may seem to be out and proud, but the resulting difficulties of being gay are still there — excessive drinking, emotional instability, desperate need for parental attention — and capitalized on for Showtime’s audience. So many of these women remind me of lesbians I’ve met in big cities: they are often just Debs in Idaho masquerading as confident, proud people. Their poor life choices, dysfunction, and emotional and financial struggles often result from the family chaos and uprooting that followed their coming out. There’s something about this show that just seems exploitative. While watching it, I just couldn’t get over the feeling that it’s making a profit over filming and manipulating a minority’s emotional and financial difficulties. What are the ethics of filming something like this? Of approaching people like Romi or Kelsey, who are clearly struggling, and dangling money in front of them in return for filming them having sex? Obviously, I’m committing the deep sin of taking The Real L Word seriously, but I found the Rachel and Romi + Kelsey scenes deeply depressing and sad. Sure, scenes like them happen on all reality shows. But when a lot of what these women go through happens because of family rift or problems coping over being gay, it seems exploitative to use them in a show for other people’s cheap entertainment.
except that most of these women’s issues don’t seem to stem from being gay but from being self absorbed and childish
(with a couple exceptions, obviously)
claire, for example, would still be an obnoxious, spoiled, womanchild if she was hetero
i prolly would have found cori and kacy suburban hetero couple cloying and one dimensional as well
that said it is quite exploitative as is most “reality” tv. i hope they were all paid very well…
I’m just going to put this out there for Francine’s benefit: I came out to my parents in an email.
I did too. My dad replied, “That’s gay.”
win.
riese, thank you for these hilarious recaps! they definitely did not make me feel good about being a lesbian in america…it might be because i’m an angry queer in finland. but i realized i had a few us dollars sitting in my paypal account, so what better use than to donate them to you who WENT THROUGH HELL! and made me laugh. like a crazy person. which i pretty much am. but that doesn’t mean they haven’t been brilliant and to the point!
ps: i’ve been reading AS for a while now…a year? two? i forget…and have been meaning to comment earlier, but for some reason haven’t. but hey: i love you guys, you’re doing a great job.
I really find this show hilarious, but mostly for it’s absurdity.
However, I do like the honest moments, the ones that feel like we should not have seen (Mostly ones involving Rachel). Also, Francine and her mom this episode was rawly (I’m sure that’s not a word?)relateable. Who can’t recall that nausea of coming out.
Anyway I guess what I’m saying is, for all the things this show got wrong, or exaggerated, it’s important to remember that these are still actual people.
Oh, and I wish I would have used a power point for my coming out. That’s would have been funny.
Thank you Riese for enduring this show for our entertainment. You’re wit is always “on-point”.
*Your
kelsey is so hot, i can’t even
Preach.
Hahaha This show DOES have the worst music ever (although the theme song is super fun to sing in a mock-raspy, inaudible kind of way). Worse than a score by ezgirl (yeah, I said it. Listen to “The Hell Word”, guys. Masterpiece). If I were on this show, I think what I would take offense to the most is the music they have the audience thinking I listen to. Like, Romi did not put on a record of Kimberly Nichole or whatever the fuck that was.
Truth.
The soundtrack is unremittingly awful. On the other hand, it’s awful in that particularly cheesy, pretending-to-be-hip, while co-opted and focus-group-tested, Los Angeles way that seems to define everything about this show.
I highly suspect that the music is chosen to sell to the same people it was focus-tested on: “18-25 yr-old” “hip, young, urban, gay and straight Los Angeles ‘scene’ people” with an average $104.32 disposable weekly entertainment budget.
So I suppose in one way it’s perfect.
I kinda get the same vibe from the fashions. What’s with all the snoods? (Still, Chanel can rock a snood.)
“pretending-to-be-hip, while co-opted and focus-group-tested, Los Angeles way that seems to define everything about this show.”
BIG.FAT.EFFING.WORD.
Though I wouldn’t be surprised if they had saved their money and forgone focus-group testing and just assumed how that ideal focus group would have reacted and what it would have wanted. Leaving the show being build entirely on the producers stereotypical beliefs about “18-25 yr-old” “hip, young, urban, gay and straight Los Angeles ‘scene’ people”. *sigh*
Riese, your exlanation of what you think Rachel meant by “I feel like a lot of pressure is out of my body” was beautifu and oh so truel. Thank you for that.
Hold up– how would one pronounce “Saritney?”
“Ke-mys-tree”
that took me way to long to figure out.
Even though I like the recaps and find them funny for the most part, I do have a question. If the Autostraddle “about us” page says this:
“You will see the following rules applied to all our content and discourse:
1. Never criticize or make fun of a woman’s physical appearance”
then why are almost all of the jokes in these recaps cheap shots at what the girls are wearing? I thought Autostraddle was less superficial than that. Every time I read one (there were so many) I cringed, especially the “anorexic” top-model comment (as an eating disorder survior, I take personal offense to that one).
And for the record, I like Romi’s hats.
BAHAHAHA “It’s not harry potter.”
oh god that fucking killed me.
also now that i am sad that harry potter =/= coming out :(
Don’t despair. We will always have Dumbledore. :)
Well, I’m not going to miss the show but I will miss your hilarious recaps!
When the human sacrifice doesn’t work I try alcohol..
Enjoyed your recap as usual Riese! Just thought I’d point out that the box Francine’s mom was bringing into the hotel room isn’t Church’s Chicken.. It’s from Beard Papa. Delish Japanese cream puffs that are really big in the West Coast!
oh, i know. i was just making a joke
oh wow i love that “homosexuals built this garden mom.” and the ordering flowers with a baby in it joke.
finally figured out the reason i can’t stand claire is the same reason why i like her: she reminds me of leif garrett.
For some reason it really bothers me that kacy and cori never talked about the option of adoption. Like I’m sure that’s something theyve considered in real life thats just not shown on tv but it fucking irks me bc there are SO many kids that need good homes. You don’t have to pop one out your vadge to be a mom. /rant
They talk about adoption in this article. enjoy.
They talk about adoption in the article, but not as an option for them. Sad.
I think I love this the best because of your conclusions, Riese! You always do such a wonderful job of saying exactly why the show is worth the watch even through all the bullshit. If it is out there as some sort of representation of what it means to be one kind of lesbian/woman/American/etc, then it’s important to be critical as well as understand that these women are trying hard to love themselves in a word where that is just not easy. Bra-fuckin-vo. Always a pleasure to read your recaps, and I especially love it when you mention things you know from creative writing-character development, missing plots and threads, and just plain depth.
thank you! this comment is so kind, i love it.
Could you please tell me whats the tittle of the song u can hear at the end of 9 episode in season 2 ( I mean that song after Whitney and Sara confessin love to each other)
Actually Whitney has fucked Scarlett(they dated and Whitney without sex ? common..) and at the end Sara said I love you first but despite this very funny recap :D