Boobs on Your Tube: Rap Sh!t Has Grind, Hustle, and Cute Women Flirting (Living the Dream)

Happy Friday, sending you cozy thoughts wherever you are! This week Kayla and Drew launched a very exciting new series that we think you’re going to enjoy, “Anatomy of a Sex Scene” and in their first edition they explore the horniness of Disobedience’s spit. Drew also wrote a reflection on the buzzy new movie Saltburn, comparing it to The Bling Ring and thinking about the pathetic desperation of the upper middle class. Nico watched Periodical, an inclusive documentary all about menstruation. Drew watched Todd Haynes’ newest film May December, starring Natalie Portman and Julianne More, and she has some thoughts about performance as sacrifice. And finally, Wingwomen on Netflix is like French Charlie’s Angels but GAYER.

It’s December 1st and you know what that means… time to see what’s new and gay this mont on streaming! Riese is here with this invaluable community service.

And now here’s what else! TV was a little light this week, but Natalie is ready to catch you up on what’s going on with Chasity and Rap Sh!t.


Rap Sh!t 205: “Dead End”

Written by Natalie

Chasity talks with an attractive woman outside the club on Rap Sh!t

With the largess from her last week’s robbery, Chastity treats Shawna and Mia to a deluxe hotel stay during the tour’s Los Angeles stop. They take in the room’s expansive views and thank Francois Boom for finally coming through but Chastity quickly corrects them: she did this. Chastity lavishes her artists, urging them to do whatever they want to do, on her, while they’re in Hollywood.

Mia lets it slip that they’re just out of an “Emergency Meeting” with Francois where he asked her and Shawna to apologize to Reina for their freestyle in Oakland. Chastity scoffs at the notion but quickly realizes that the girls plan to do it. They insist that they have to: Francois has set up a meeting for the pair with a Grammy-winning songwriter and with the head of Def Jam so they have to swallow their pride and apologize. Chastity takes umbrage to Francois continuing to make moves on their behalf without consulting her and promises to confront him about it.

Chastity finally gets her chance at the Billboard party. She lets Francois know that no meetings should be happening with her artists without her. Francois might not like her, she acknowledges, but she’s here to stay and deserves respect. Francois laughs off Chastity’s concerns and points out that everything he’s done for Shawna and Mia: he arranged the tour, he produced the song that’s garnering label interest, he set up the meeting with the label head and the Grammy winning songwriter and, when it’s time to record their EP, he’ll be the producer and arranger. What, he asks, should be respect her for?

“They don’t need you and if this meeting goes good, I’ma make sure they know that,” Francois states flat out. Chastity stiffens her stance in response but Francois just mocks her for it and walks off.

Realizing that her new career might be slipping from her grasp, Chastity does what does best: hustles. She tries to put names to faces of all the big wigs at the party and ingratiate herself to them… but, of course, that doesn’t work out. Meanwhile, Francois introduces the girls to Tunji Balogun, the CEO of Def Jam, and they make a good impression… or at least that’s what Francois tells them. He passes out celebratory cigars and, once Chastity steps away, Francois tells the girls that Tunji was skeptical about Chastity. Sufficed to say, I don’t believe a word Francois has to say.

Later, Chastity is posted up outside, taking a drag on a cigarette, and is so wrapped up in all this rap shit she barely acknowledges when a woman approaches and starts flirting with her. Chastity admits that she might have fucked everything up but the stranger assures her that once the weed and coke come out, no one will remember.

And, it turns out, the stranger is probably right. No one’s going to remember what Chastity did because the party, the night and, likely, the tour ends with Lord AK setting himself ablaze.

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Natalie

A black biracial, bisexual girl raised in the South, working hard to restore North Carolina's good name. Lover of sports, politics, good TV and Sonia Sotomayor. You can follow her latest rants on Twitter.

Natalie has written 418 articles for us.

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