Quiz: Which Pizza Topping Best Represents Your Topping Style?

Tops! They’re just like toppings! They come in so many varieties and can really guide the vibe of the pizza. I think the pizza in this convoluted metaphor is sex? I’m not sure! I pitched this quiz mostly as a joke and my coworkers were like “no, do that.” So here we are! I expect to be hearing from my wife who is going to be like “why are you, as a bottom, making a quiz for tops?” And I do not have an answer for that. Enjoy!

Which Pizza Topping Best Represents Your Topping Style?

What’s your favorite pizza topping?(Required)
Choose an unconventional pizza topping:(Required)
Do you consider yourself a top?(Required)
Pick a top:(Required)
Pick another kind of top:(Required)
Pick someone to split a pizza with:(Required)
Choose a beverage to have with your pizza:(Required)
Pick a song title with the word Top in it:(Required)
Which type of pizza sauce do you prefer?(Required)
Pick a famous white man:(Required)

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, short stories, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the assistant managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear or are forthcoming in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 895 articles for us.

6 Comments

  2. Quiz invalid as mushrooms weren’t available in the list of favorite toppings. :(

    Spicy honey? Hmmm, I think being a dom would require more confidence (and experience) than I’ve got in the sexual realm ( 0 and 0).

    Reply to This Comment

  5. NICE
    I got mushroom :D
    “Like mycelium, you are all about deep, complex connections, making you an intuitive and empathetic top who tends to know what your partner wants before even they do.” 💅

    Reply to This Comment

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