Quiz: What Lesbian Body of Water Are You?

Let’s be real: All bodies of water are a little bit lesbian — but some are more than others. I couldn’t feature EVERY lesbian body of water on this quiz, because there are simply too many! Maybe one day I should do a list of the 25 most lesbian bodies of water. Sound off in the comments if that’s a good idea!!!!!!!


What Lesbian Body of Water Are You?

We’re at a cute queer coffee shop. What are you ordering?(Required)
Select the music for the queer coffee shop:(Required)
Now let’s go to a queer bookshop. What section are you heading to?(Required)
What very niche queer book club at the queer bookshop do you want to join?(Required)
Now we’re at the queer cafe for lunch. (Don’t you love this imaginary quaint little gay town I’ve constructed for this quiz?!) What are you ordering to eat?(Required)
What are you ordering to drink?(Required)
What are you ordering for dessert?(Required)
What queer place should we go to next?(Required)
Okay, we’re actually going to go to a movie theater that only shows re-runs of past queer films. What are you getting a ticket for?(Required)
Who is coming with you to the movie?(Required)
Obviously, you’ve gotta discuss the movie after! Let’s head to the queer bar to do so. What’s the vibe of the bar?(Required)
Okay, you’ve had a busy gay day! What are you doing to unwind when you get home?(Required)

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Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya

Kayla Kumari Upadhyaya is the managing editor of Autostraddle and a lesbian writer of essays, fiction, and pop culture criticism living in Orlando. She is the former managing editor of TriQuarterly, and her short stories appear in McSweeney's Quarterly Concern, Joyland, Catapult, The Offing, The Rumpus, Cake Zine, and more. Some of her pop culture writing can be found at The A.V. Club, Vulture, The Cut, and others. When she is not writing, editing, or reading, she is probably playing tennis. You can follow her on Twitter or Instagram and learn more about her work on her website.

Kayla has written 1009 articles for us.

10 Comments

    • this quizzes options are so odd, diet coke and coke zero??? so many funky desserts? I recommend labelling them like “soda, diet soda, juice ect.”

  1. Lake Michigan

    Much like Lake Michigan is the second largest Great Lake, you are bold but not TOO bold, fun but not TOO fun, wet but not TOO wet. It’s all about moderation, baby!

  2. Community Pool, seriously? 😒

    I only said “Queer Park” because there was no “Queer Hike” option. I’m a WILD, not domesticated queer. Why wasn’t there a mountain lake for me? A whitewater river? I’m not especially an ocean person, but I sure would have preferred La Mer to a (who-pee’d-in-the) POOL!

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