I Won’t Jerk Away From Holding Hands With You
Emily walks Maya home, which is sweet but also weird because I though they were smoking pot in Maya’s house to begin with. They’re walking side by side, intentionally touching and bumping in to each other, it’s sweet. Or maybe they’re stoned and clumsy. Or maybe they just had a lot of thoughts about sandwiches and revolutions, as I usually do when smoking pot, and are feeling very smart and on the edge of a spiritual breakthrough.
Maya: I’ve never had a jock friend before. I guess that makes you my first.
“Jock” is probs code for dyke. Anyhow, every time Maya opens her mouth I feel like it’s some sort of innuendo for HOT LESBIAN SEX.
Her Rhythm Broke my Hunger and I Died a Little Less
Emily finally breaks the news to Maya that she’s moved into a dead girl’s bedroom. Maya tries to hit on her comfort her by going in for a super awkward kiss that lands somewhere in between Emily’s mouth and cheek. we’ve all done it. But Maya didn’t jump away and go EW I’M NOT LIKE THAT, which means we’re at least gonna get to second base here, this ain’t The Well of Loneliness.
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Time for Emily to get her first mysterious note from A!
This Better Not Be Another Spaghetti Dinner Flier
So she unfolds this nice piece of graph paper and reads it. Does she make a handwriting ID? ‘Cause I’m assuming that if this was in someone’s handwriting besides Alison’s, that’d be a red alert right?
Nothing Compares 2 U
KAZAAM! Alison and Emily had one of those special relationships we all love so much where your straight/bicurious best friend makes out with you to improve the level of psychological manipulation she can subject you to within the context of your friendship.
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So, Alison’s missing dead body was found, which is clearly super creepy, because as far as we all know, Verizon’s wireless coverage doesn’t extend to the afterlife. “Can you hear me now?” Nope, I cannot, because you are are dead.
Jenna shows up at the funeral. We don’t know who she is yet, but the girl’s aren’t excited to see her and look in fact horrified so she must be important.
After the funeral, the detective comes over to let them know that he WILL find out what happened that night because it’s not missing persons anymore, it’s a murder investigation. We hope it includes some lesbian makeouts.
Also, all four girls get another text message from A. Being harassed like this is bringing the foursome back together! The text is the same to all of them: I’m still here, bitches, and I know everything. -A.
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Maya goes to check how Emily is holding up and finds her chilling on the porch with the latest Sarah Waters novel, which is probs not as good as Tipping the Velvet.
Checking for Whisky Probs
Maya wants to taste her coffee to see if it tastes like pussy, Starbucks, or my personal favorite brand/the only brand I can afford, Cafè Bustello.
Maya: Can I have a sip?
Emily: Sure. Do you want your own?
Maya: I’d rather share yours.
[Recapper #1 Crystal: Can we talk about how they are blatantly hitting on each other even though they have boyfriends?
Recapper #2 Riese: Maybe they’ve already decided that this is the only way to be a lesbian in a town like this — with boyfriends, and secretly? It’s less scary that way, maybe.]
This Better Not Be Another Spaghetti Dinner Flier
Emily is still sad about the funeral and so they share an extended hug, which is when Emily’s mother rolls up. Maya is one of those people who hugs everyone right away (“me too!” – Riese) so she hugs Emily’s Mom like she’s already family, which is maybe appropriate because this relationship is developing at the speed of light. Emily’s mother sympathises with the creepiness of having to live in the dead girl’s house like on The Others and invites Maya to come share Emily’s bed.
Um, for how long exactly? Because Allison isn’t gonna become un-dead and make the Haunted House less haunted. They should just turn it into a Tower of Terror like at Disneyworld.
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Hey Dude How’s it Going I’m Your Designated Douchehead Jock from Central Casting
Remember how Emily mentioned that she had a boyfriend named Ben? He exists and he’s at her locker, surprising her with a big hetero kiss, which she pulls away from awkwardly, like a lesbo. Now that she doesn’t have Allison to have secret affairs with (since Allison is so good at keeping secrets, it probs felt very safe and private), Emily tells him she’s got to skip their movie date because Maya is staying over that night and instead of being pissed off he’s turned on.
Ben: What kind of jammies do you think the new girl wears?
Emily: How would I know?
The lady doth protest too much. We’re hoping it’s something like this:
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Are You In or Are You Out?
At Emily’s house, Maya claims her side of the bed.
Maya: Do you have a side?
Emily: Sorry?
Maya: Of the bed.
Emily: I kinda sleep in the middle.
Maya: I kinda sleep in the middle too.
Is that code for being bisexual, or for being open to being in the middle of like making out with girls but also having boyfriends?
I’d Spend All Night Losing Sleep
Actually they both sleep on the left, Maya moving over to spoon and Emily taking her hand. It’s sweet and slow, you know this dance — you move one muscle and then another, waiting to see if there’s any resistance along the way, moving another finger or limb to test the waters as you go… and then going for the full on SEXBLAST
JK This is all interrupted by a text message from her dead friend Allison, or someone pretending to be her dead friend Alison.
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The next day Ben picks them up for school and he’s a little douchey.
Two Chicks at the Same Time
Ben: So Maya, now that you’ve slept together, you’ve gotten further with Emily than I have.* What should I know?
Maya: Good girls don’t kiss and tell.
Ben: You don’t strike me as a good girl.
Emily: Shut up, Ben.
Ben: So did you guys get much sleep? I wouldn’t have.
Maya: I don’t know about Emily, but I slept like a baby.
*OMG, she’s doing that thing lesbians do where they keep putting off having sex with their boyfriends ’cause they really just don’t want to.
He’s a young man and the thought of these two women sleeping in the same bed makes him hot, and I guess that’s okay it makes me hot too. When Maya reaches out to touch Emily’s shoulder, Emily retaliates by pashing her jock boyfriend in the school parking lot.
I’m pretty sure this means Emily & Maya totally made out last night, right? And she feels guilty?
Straight People Kissing
Ben’s stupid jock friends come and interrupt them by banging on the car’s hood and taking pictures of the kiss on their cell phones which is weird and creepy, really, is this what kids do these days. Emily bolts from the car and is met by Hannah, another girl from the gang.
Hannah: You know, I’ve never thought of you as someone who would be comfortable with PDA.
Emily: Maybe I’m not the person everyone thinks I am.
She’s getting antsy. It’s coming out time.
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It Was a Queer, Sultry Afternoon
Emily has a heart to heart with her mother, who assures her that everything will get back to normal soon.
Emily: I don’t know what normal feels like anymore. I think there’s something wrong with me.
Her mother suggests that she find closure by reaching out to her girlfriends and that’s maybe part of the problem. It’s good advice, she thinks the four remaining girls need to find a way to say goodbye to Alison/reveal whatever terrible things they have done and they’ll find closure together. But I think Emily wanted to talk about how she thinks she has The Gay. Just a hunch.
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Also, Random Gay Moment:
Hannah’s friend: This sounds totally gay, but if I saw you struttin’ it in that dress and kicking up those heels then I would think about doing you.
There’s a few flashbacks in Episode 102. One of them perhaps explains ‘The Jenna Thing” — it turns out Alison accidentally firebombed someone’s house once because she claimed a guy across the street was spying on all of them undressing and stuff. I have no idea how this relates to Jenna, you’ll have to watch the show yourself to find out ’cause we don’t have time to recap it all!
Also, there’s this flashback when Alison gave everyone in the group bracelets of their friendship:
Alison asked Emily to help her put the bracelet on and it involved skin contact and sweet secret smiles and this is maybe when she knew, who knows?
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Are you watching Pretty Little Liars? Do you want to? You should give it a try. Well, you should read a book. This series was based on a series of books you know. Read a book and then watch Pretty Little Liars!
Pages: 1 2See entire article on one page
I read about half the of the first book, which pretty much made up the first episode of this series. So far, I like the show far more than the book. While I do agree that the whole lesbian thing is pretty straightforward (har har), it does seem like Emily has been battling her emotions for a looong time and now has finally found someone willing to reciprocate those feelings :). I’m happy for them!
And I do somewhat agree with the whole “my-close-person-up-and-died-on-me-unexpectantly”. Same thing happened with my father when I was 16. And you do change a lot, like being riskier with pot, drinking a little more, etc. It’s the whole “fuck everything” attitude, I suppose. But I don’t really get how that applies here in Emily’s situation. Especially since it’s been an entire year since Allison went missing. Why start now with Maya? Why not have the fuck’em persona a month after the disappearance?
I am super intrigued by this show, though! The opening theme song even shows that it’s deeper than the shallow teenage Desperate Housewives that it may come off as. It’s kinda creepy.
Plus, JENNA IS A CRAZY BITCH WTF.
it’s not that she’s being reckless, it’s that they’re all being awfully mature. like they take risks and are all involved in sort of “adult” complicated relationships with relative confidence that they can handle it. and if the shit hits the fan oh well. you don’t see the nervousness and “am i gay” shit happening with emily that you normally do in these storylines, she seems pretty ready to jump in. Similarly, Aria took the initiative to drop out of the teacher’s class, which surprised me — she’s the one making the adult decision, rather than senselessly mooning. they all just seem like they’re a little older than everyone else, which i suppose often happens in teen melodramas because bad things happen to teens on tv shows. there is no childlike sense of fear or apprehension or nervousness or risk management, they are operating like adults but in a world of children.
i think its pretty obvious emily and allison had a thing, or at least emily had one for allison. maybe thats why she is taking it so hard?
interesting show regardless, i have a forming crush on aria O:
btw, i wish someone had told me weed is the gateway drug to bicuriosity. i always assumed it was ecstacy.
“everyone knows marijuana is the gateway drug to bicuriosity”
if someone had just warned me about this, gawd
I have been watching the show, I’m enjoying it so far. Loving it even more now that this recap exists.
I LOVE this recap.
Slash was Emily really reading Sarah Waters or is that you being witty because if she was a) good eye! and b) slick one ABC Fam. But I am going to give you the wittiness credit over them on this one.
I made up the part about Emily reading a Sarah Waters book, but I have no idea if Riese realised or not (she writes all the entertaining parts, I just help with screen caps)
they’re actually reading to kill a mockingbird
damn this makes me actually want to watch the show but also it sounds scary and i’m a baby.
I’m a baby about scary stuff too, but I could handle it. It’s not that scarier than gossip girl and the OC can be. :)
Pretty little liars is a great show, kinda sexy actually .
I am a wiener. The show did scare me, so be warned. But I will definitely keep watching it. It draws you in.
I’m glad that Autostraddle has validate my “hey, this isn’t so bad…” that I was feeling self-conscious about.
I’m pretty sure the creepy dude spying on them was Jenna’s brother and that’s how she got caught in the crossfire (same last name?) I watched these first two episodes and they weren’t half bad. But from what I understand a lot of what has happened already sort of unfolds in the first four books, and they are sort of charging right through, so that might explain why things seem to be happening in fast forward?
Awesome recap. But you just had to put in a screen cap from The L Word. Oh how I miss the days of the Shane/Carmen storyline.
Sarah Shahi + red boy briefs = wonderful view
I almost didn’t make it past the prologue because the whole ‘Special Teenage Sudden Death Club’ business caught me off-guard and got me all unstable/I almost overshared (more than this) all over the webz.
Anyhoo, seeing Emily* helped pull me through and, as announced, you did get real funny. I’m not sure if I’m going to watch the show but I’ll keep reading the recaps just for funsies (and deepsies).
*which one? you’ll never know! #creepysecrets
I agree with the idea that someone close to you suddenly passing away changes you and pushes you do things. I recently lost my brother, very unexpected, and it’s changed me quite a bit. About a month after the funeral I finally got the guts up to contact my local LGBT youth club in an attempt to start getting out and into the community. Something that I was quite terrified of doing before his death.
It just makes you see that you NEED to start living. I’m not really at the moment. Unfortunately, the group was/is on hiatus, so it didn’t work out but that nonetheless was a step for me.
I moved even faster than this with a girl I met at 16, but it still took us almost two years to get together, because she didn’t realize I actually like girls and I was too scared to say it out loud (although I thought she knew). Now she’s mine and super cute and wonderful and with a whole new set of problems to sort out.
We’re teenagers. We do what feels right/good, and with a girl, you can go really far before people start asking questions, and before you tell someone, it’s almost as if it doesn’t exist.
Finally, Emily is really pretty. As in really, really, really pretty.
I’m reading the books as I watch the series, so I get confused. They’re not very alike at all, but I guess that’s how it is when books are turned into tv.
Although this has not much to do with these recaps,
Spencer practicing field hockey: drool.
luv this recap but surprised you didn’t mention this almost kiss shared by Emily and Maya after walking home. By the way I’m so hooked on the show. I like how they give you a lot in an episode. Beefy spaghetti not Chef Boyardee like Lost.”just my opinion Lost fans”
Oh Emily, that reminds me. Emily Saliers is missing from the “Girl-on-Gallery: Actual Lesbian & Bisexuals.” She’s the half of the Indigo Girls that isn’t Amy Ray.
I’m sorry, I got totally sidetracked on Emily pictures.
I doubt I’ll watch this show but I will def enjoy these recaps anyway. I think the latest Sarah Waters (The Little Stranger) is better than Tipping O’ The Velveteen but sadly it’s not at all lesbionic. It did give me strange nightmares for a week or two though – which is a good thing as I love a good nightmare..
For the record, I am also legally an Emily! Emily Taylor! Yay for Emilys!
I need to read back over this when I have an attention span (i.e. after coffee), but also I think STSDC sounds like a really solid club acronym.
I had to play the “You know, I’ve never thought of you as someone who would be comfortable with PDA” about ten times. It totally sounded like PDA = KD Lang.
heh
Okay, I have a prediction. I’m usually pretty good at this , but who knows? Jenna IS the sister of the guy related to the house fire, and is the same girl that Hannah(?) and Aria were ‘running away’ from right begore they find Alison making out with Aria’s dad in Ep101. I predict that Jenna is blind due to the house fire, and that Alison somehow used her manipulation of the other girls to keep from being found out as the arsonist.
Also, Emily and Maya’s lines are mixed up in a few places :(
Love the recap more than what I’ve seen of the show (no TV here)! YAY :D
Actually, it was Alison and Aria who were running away from Mona (Hanna’s new best friend), and the girl in the car was a student of Aria’s dad. They talk about how she works with him now, so he still sees her every day.
Awww, jenin = fail. guess I should reconsider a potential career in fotune telling too, right? :)
I went to junior prom with a girl named Emily…
Also for the peeps reading the books, do the books have the lesbo time or is it only in the show? (your answer will effect my next trip to the library…)
There’s lesbo time, for sure. Way more than in the show, actually. They actually get to make out in a photo booth.
There’s also a bunch of hetero time, but I think it evens out.
i want to watch this, but my general life rule is that i watch/read nothing with a character sharing my name.
especially if it’s not spelled right!!!!! (insert pretentious sigh here)
I thought reading Fun Home was a requirement for homosexualoids and friendly straights.
I may be mistaken though; googling “Gay Lifestyle essentials” is a lot more unreliable than you’d think.
We musn’t forget that Emily’s love interest is actually a vampire slayer. Or at least she was until Drusilla killed her.
Crystal! Yes!
OK, I’m working on a theory that Jenna is not blind and Maya is actually A. I’m also working on a theory that Jenna is a robot. (That’s the one I am hoping is actually true.)
unfortunately, in the book series Emily turns straight after two novels or so in, and starts dating (and having sex with) guys. she’s gay for the first few books though. here’s to hoping they keep her gay through the duration of this series.
So. I just finished Unbelievable (book 4 – she’s still gay), then read your comment and have now decided to stop reading the series so I can have happy memories of gay Emily forever. I can’t thank you enough for saving me from reading through it all hoping she’d go back to girls.
I’ve read them up to the seventh book. Care to spoil me for the eight?
Btw, I kind of got the impression that Emily identified as bisexual in the end, but who knows. These books weren’t really consistent with characterization (they fell in and out of love at the speed of light, and nice people suddenly turned nasty in a second), and the plots moved forward even faster than they do on the tv show.
I’ve read them up to the seventh book. Care to spoil me for the eight?
Btw, I kind of got the impression that Emily identified as bisexual in the end, but who knows. These books weren’t really consistent with characterization (they fell in and out of love at the speed of light, and nice people suddenly turned nasty in a second), and the plots moved forward even faster than they do on the tv show.
I love this show. I don’t know why I love this show, but I do. Watched the 1st episode on Tuesday on Hulu, and then the next 2 episodes on Wednesday, and I am hooked! It is riveting and I find myself laughing and being taken aback all at once. The lesbian content got me to check it out, but the show has reeled me in all the way. Loving the recaps, too!
I came here to express my irritation with the fact that after tonight’s episode Maya seems to have disappeared (A’s next victim? ;) …) and now Emily likes weird guy Toby. But then I saw some of the above comments… but yeah, still annoying… I hope they at least bring Maya back / make something interesting with that triangle…
and yet, I am still watching this show… somehow, I just can’t help it… haha
“Maya’s in the process of moving in, so she asks Emily to help her with her box. Instead of saying “that’s what she said!” Emily actually just helps her with the box, which is a giant missed opportunity…..Maya wants to smoke some weed, which we all know is a gateway drug to bi-curiosity. ”
Hilarious. So glad I was told about these recaps. I just started watching PLL!