Man, I love Riese’s Glee recaps.
Meanwhile, Aria’s in a dark classroom and gets a weird message from TheatreGirl who reminds her that oh yeah, she totally killed some girl in a theatre!
Better Google it! Actually, I just found out that Bing pays PLL to only show Bing searches. Ha ha, Bing, ha ha. Anyways, apparently FuneralVidz.com has a scene from Shana’s service online where Shana’s grandmother sings some gospel hymns so that Aria can exorcise her guilt via the Interwebs.
This episode involved a lot of close-ups. Nice pores.
Except she just watches it with the wide crazed look we know and love. Did Ezra teach her that one?
Oh thank god you got my texts about faking an emergency so I can get out of this date.
Hanna is hanging out at a coffee shop and ignoring Buzzcut’s texts when Good Guy Lucas comes on over to “chat” which is weird when you think of how close they used to be. Hanna is saved by the bell when Ali calls her and asks her to go to the doctor with her.
No, you’re funny. No, you are. No, no, you’re way funnier. No, you are. No, you are.
Emily is teaching Sydney how to swim, apparently, and they’re BFFs now and Emily admits to avoiding her mother, so she volunteers to help Sydney train the next day. Cue awkward run in with Paige.
PEP RALLY LET’S GET FIRED UP FOR PAIGE
Later, when they actually do train on a Saturday, they end up inviting Paige to join them in running sprints on the track. Maybe Pretty Little Liars is gearing us up for its first poly relationship! Imagine if we got to see these three as a throuple. It’d be awesome.
This is the face you give your ex-girlfriend when she says something super cute and you want her to be your now-girlfriend.
They also go out to eat and Emily and Paige are kind of maybe flirting when Paige spots Mona a few tables over, giving her a death glare.
Sorry, this is the elbow patch only table.
Tell me the truth, do these braids make me look like Dorothy? The truth. Bible?
Over at the “yardwork” scene, Spencer and Andrew are chattin’ it up in some kind of very large shed that is not a barn because Spencer converted the barn to be a love shack for Melissa and Wren before Wren made out with Spencer but then Melissa and Ian lived there but that was after Spencer made out with Ian and anyways. Anyways, they’re in a shed and Andrew is super out of character and asks Spencer to make out with him and she says she’s still dating The Carpenter which could either mean she’s married to Jesus or she’s just been listening to that Avett Brother’s album on repeat a lot and feels super connected to it. I feel you, girl, last summer, I was pretty much in a relationship with February Seven for awhile too, okay?
AWESOME OPPOSUM
I digress! Back on track: Andrew and Spencer find a dead possum (??????) and some rat poison.
AND ALSO OPOSSUMS APPARENTLY
Suddenly, Sleuthy Spencer is like “OMG MY DAD KILLED MRS. D WITH RAT POISON” which, well, maybe yeah.
Where are all the lights in this goddamn town?
Hanna goes with Ali to the medical exam, which takes place in a dark room (don’t they all? no?).
This looks way more inappropriate than it is.
Ali lies and lies and lies and then we find a huge cut on her thigh and she lies some more and who knows. Hanna is pissed. It’s pretty clear Ali is lying at this point.
via tumblr
So then Paige was like, you know, so then I was like, you know.
Meanwhile, Aria, Emily, and Spencer talk about avoiding Ali. Can’t say I wouldn’t do the same. Aria and Emily talk about killing people, which is a strange way to bond but I’m not going to hate on it, and Emily admits to being pretty obsessed over Nate.
It’s okay, Mom, I’m sure straight people can lead healthy and fulfilling lives, too. I’m here for you.
Spencer comes home to find Mrs. Hastings in the living room with the wild glint in her eye — which must be contagious in Rosewood this time of year, like allergies maybe? — and Mrs. Hastings confesses that after Ali went missing, Mrs. D came by the house and swore Spencer was involved with her death/disappearance, and Mr. Hastings blackmailed her by saying that if she went to the police, he’d tell Mr. DiLaurentis about the affair. Well. Sounds like Mrs. D was trying to cover for someone and that’s why she started hating Spencer so much.
I NEED AN OLD PRIEST AND A YOUNG PRIEST
After the doctor’s visit, Ali pulls out a recording device and gives it to Hanna, instructing her to memorize it and share it with the other Liars. Hanna asks about the leg scar and Ali cryptically tells her, “Once you know something, you can’t un-know it.” Yeah, but I want to know. Any guesses?
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Mr. Hastings put Mrs. Hastings in the SHU. I also think maybe Melissa Murder, Duhed Mrs. D? Or Ezra, because he’s still a skeezball? Why are they hinting that Aria and him are definitely getting back together? UGH.
Melissa or Ezra? Those both totally make sense in a strange and creeptastic way.
The dynamic between Sydney/Paige/Emily is a bit fascinating. I felt like this was a good episode for Emily. And that line about the monsters under the bed, oof. Oh, Spencer.
Sydney’s a bit of a wet blanket at the moment. I hope they develop her a little more if she does become an actual love interest/person we need to care about, you know?
Yeah, it’s hard to tell exactly where they’re going with her. I fear she’s going to be one of those characters that we get to know juuuust enough so that it means something if she dies in mysterious circumstances (incidentally that’s one thing I love about Buffy, like, “xyz got killed in the woods! This character that we’ve never seen before but is someone that we all know well!”)
I’m pretty sure she’s evil. Sydney I mean.
This was a great episode for Paige! She’s so strong now. She finally brought up how Ali hurt her to Emily. And the line to Mona about becoming what you feared. Awesome! And also I just have to say, she is looking HOT! <3
Those scenes with emily, sydney, paige was so weirdly normal for a town like rosewood. I was waiting for a time bomb or some kind of an explosion while they were laughing.
Uh Gee, i forgot to mention…..
Damn Paige! You’re killing me with your button down shirts and androgynous swagger!
I’m assuming Sydney is straight? Otherwise they may as well go ahead and classify the swim team as a team exclusively for obscenely attractive femme teen lesbians.
This is not how I remember high school. When I was a young queer it was a clusterfuck of awkwardness and confusion and bad wardrobe choices and trying to wear my hair in that pretty way all the other girls could.