Back at school, Spencer and Ezra review Spencer’s UPenn essay. The prompt is, “Discuss one time you were right and wish you hadn’t been.” It’s so unfair because last year’s college essay prompt was “write about a time your best friend was murdered and you had to prove your innocence.” It just sucks how these things change year to year.
THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN SOMEONE ASKS YOU TO READ THEIR PERSONAL STATEMENT AND IT’S SO MUCH WORSE THAN YOU EVER COULD HAVE IMAGINED.
It looks like Spencer took the opportunity to talk about how her friend was murdered and then she had a mental breakdown. Huh. That’s weird. Spencer submitted her application to UPenn in episode 309 when she followed Cece to UPenn to give her application to some admissions guy in person. But her mental breakdown wasn’t until episode 321 when she thought TobAy was murdered. Basically there is no timeline and we’re in a giant black hole.
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST!!
Regardless, Ezra suggestions Spencer be so not the drama about this and maybe write her essay about the time she thought she hadn’t done well on a test and was correct instead of revealing to every university all the shit she’s been through. I mean, give them the ol’ razzle dazzle you know?
Yeah… Spencer’s not buying it.
OR ANYTHING? YEEEAAAAHH.
JUST WAIT UNTIL YOU TRY THE VIXSKIN MUSTANG
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Since I want Lizz to actually be able to sleep tonight and it doesn’t seem it will happen until she’s figured out the mystery of Hanna’s hair.
Ashley Benson was a brunette during the first episode (and the S3 promo shots I think) so much of the first episode she was in a blond wig (hence the weirdo headband what the hell is on her hair look in the scene with Mona in the hall), perhaps by the time they filmed episode 2 she was back to blond and thus her original hairstyle.
Or we can just blame it on the patriarchy.
haha yes true and also in my own head i decided that she got extensions — which usually are a hollywood-only thing that characters on tv shows pretend don’t exist but remember that one episode where hanna was trying to get caleb to open up about something and she was like “ok fine i’ll just ask what your thoughts on hair extensions are, like are synthetic ones better because of the low price and convenience or can is there no substitute for the feel of real human hair?” and he is like “omg FINE i will tell you, don’t bore me to death”?
(i have no idea why i remember that and in fact i’m pretty embarrassed about it)
alternatively, yes, botp.
Great recap, the picture captions are hilarious!
I, too, had a moment of oh-my-god-why-parrot-can’t-die because I am the kind of person to get emotionally attached to a really creepy bird over the course of one episode. I’m glad to know I wasn’t alone in my panic. (Also, parrots will definitely eat chicken. You shouldn’t feed it to them too often, but they’re perfectly happy to nom on their cousins. Which is yet another reason parrots are terrifying and will kill us all.)
Can we just talk about Hanna’s accent nail? Is she femme flagging? Is femme flagging dead because straight girls are doing it now? I just have a lot of feelings about Hanna’s nail polish, okay.
Also I read this out loud to Rachel and it’s hysterical. The captions are golden. Seriously, nice job.
I didn’t realize accent nails were a sign of femme flagging! I learned something today
lol well the other day a straight girl asked me “did you know painting one of your nails a different color means you’re a lesbian??”
so..not sure what to do with that info haha but maybe?
Oh wow, I had no idea that painting one fingernail different was femme flagging. I have been doing it for years… This explains so much.
Accent nails were totally a fashion thing before someone decided to make it a gay thing. Sadness.
Yeah as the owner of a ridiculously popular nail art blog, I can confirm that accent nails were a fashion thing years before I ever heard anyone suggest it as femme flagging.
“Doesn’t Ali know that breath play is never safe?” #RachBeeQuotes
This recap was so freaking hilarious. Red-haired Lizzz is on fire.
“I feel like Pretty Little Liars hired actual lesbians to consult on the writing of this scene. Like, someone on the inside deserves a high five.” You’re aware that Marlene King the showrunner is a lesbian aren’t you Lizz? I think she’s a big reason this show is so freaking awesome and so full of lesbian and queer women. I love her. She’s like the anti Ryan Murphy and I don’t just mean the lesbian part but also that she listens to fans instead of trolling them and is a really cool person instead of a walking talking asshole in a stupid hat like he is.
Awesome recap yet again! Paily is so damn sweet! Why are they raising our expectations so high? I’m scared that they’re going to really hurt us at some point. *sobbing*
But yeah, so, so good! I’m still not over the fact that Glee got a Glaad nomination and PLL got ignored. If ever anything called for a giant WTF? this is it.
Re: Barbie-behaviour indicating to our parents that we were lezbots
When I came out to my mum, ya know after she grew comfortable enough to make u-haul jokes, she told me that stripping Barbies and rubbing my thumb over their bare breasts was but one in a long line of pre-adolescent activity that made clear my homosexuelle tendencies (anyone else adopt the term same-sex tendencies from that heartbreaking clarification in 10 Things {almost typo-ed Thighs} I Hate About You that Kat was not indeed a ladystraddler?)
Also, I think it’s progress that Spencer seemed to confront Tobster about possibly being the Allison Mask that tried to run over her posse. Like she has seen past The Chin to acknowledge that he is probs in cahoots with Lil Red Riding Biotch.
Also Liz! your recaps brings all the feelings to the yard and dental-dam-right they are probs not stronger than yours
I used to make all my Barbies get married to a Ken and another Barbie simultaneously. Every single one of them had a husband AND a wife, and every Ken had a husband and wife too. Some of my Barbies also had all their hair chopped off and would borrow Ken shirts. I was so blatantly bisexual and I had nooo idea (well, until I was 14).
I cut one of my barbie’s hair and then had her kiss the other barbies.
Did anyone happen to see the Buzzfeed article about what it feels like to keep up with PLL they posted this week? They nail it on the head, except for the reasons why I keep watching. Paily 4 eva! Forget those weird age inappropriate dudes.
http://www.buzzfeed.com/louispeitzman/what-it-feels-like-to-keep-up-with-pretty-little-liars
I thought I was done with PLL about 4 episodes from the end of season 3, but my roommate decided to start watching the show. So, instead of keeping my resolve to only read Lizz’s recaps, I may or may not have watched the entire series with my roommate.
wow that buzzfeed article is so hetero. Don’t even get me started on the “love interests” photo. When did Emily start dating Jason D?
My thoughts too when I saw it the other day. No Paige? No Maya? Ridiculous.
And we’ve all seen Lindsey Shaw rock the hell out of a suit* so excuse me, where is the “Significant Others in Suits” photo. Why is Jason there for no apparent reason** except to say, f u lesbo audience?
*I’m not saying all girlfriends should dress up in suits like boyfriends, just that Paige has rocked the suit twice on the show already and looked hot and thus, should look hot again in promo photos
**I actually do think the guy that plays Jason is good looking (in a Ken doll kind of way) so I’m not hating on the guy, just the where the eff is Emily’s love interest in these promo shots??
Mona *flies out of the car.
Sorry, I’m a stickler for spelling/grammar.
That Brand New reference for Paily though…
So. Good.
I really dislike Toby’s character, mainly because it frustrates me that spencer never asked him any of the important questions, like “hey toby, before I jump back into the sack with you quick question, did you lock me in my sauna and try to kill me?”. It really bothers me, like really, you’ve spent all this time being attacked and stalked but you’re not going to ask any questions once you get the chance? cool ok.
That being said, I actually felt a little moved by his man tears this episode. Like for reals, no kid deserves to feel like their mom didn’t even care enough to say goodbye.
I’m sure he’ll do something in the next episode that will make me hate him again.
Toby’s crying was the only display of emotion in the entire series, and it was moving. It’d be smart of the writers to tie that into his motivations in being A instead of the bullshit “I did it to protect Spencer” excuse.
I just want him to be genuinely bad and not a white knight.
Agreed, I wasn’t even that mad about the RV thing because if it was my mom I’d probably do the same thing. At least that excuse seems genuine and real, instead of a white knight/I had no choice/I did it because it was best for you, excuse.
I feel completely heartless because his tears annoyed me more than anything.
This was hilarious! I love these recaps. “Maybe a little sexy schoolgirl librarian chic will help her to feel better.” You are amazing for that reference. Keep it up.
Multiple T-Swift references!
Another reason these recaps are better than the show itself.
I was under the impression that Spencer’s dramatic application essay was for other prospective schools, not UPenn, since Ezra said that she should apply to other schools immediately and they’d edit her essay on the weekend.
Also, I am not okay with Aria and Sensei Jake. Can she not have a storyline/life that ISN’T revolved around an inappropriately-aged guy??? Uuugggghhhhh
Thank you for the comment on Aria and Sensei Jake! Can she date a guy that isn’t in some way an authority figure? Also, can we go a couple of episodes without any of the girls worrying about their romantic relationships?
One of the plus-sides of Caleb mysteriously disappearing is that Hanna hasn’t mentioned him at all, and this works well for the nefarious Mona/Hanna shipping… Mwahahaha.
But honestly, can we have a full-fledged discourse on why the hell CALEB gets a spin-off!?
tbh, I’d rather Toby or even Ezra get a spinoff if it means they leave the damn show. Caleb is the only boyfriend on the show I can tolerate and now he’s leaving.
LIZZ you are SLAYING it
I was going to quote my favorite parts of your recap but they are all my favorite parts
i giggled out loud at this recap multiple times and i don’t even watch this show.
Wait am I the only one who assumed A switched the painkillers with different pills? I mean I know A already did that — wait, or maybe not? Did I imagine it? But anyway I assumed that’s was what happened.
Oh well, either way I’m annoyed because this’ll probs turn into a drug addiction side plot that serves only to further distract from our finding out who the eff A is.
No that drug addictions are not actual problems, of course! I just think PLL wouldn’t deal with it purposefully.
My only thought was “why do TV people always have awesome drugs in their cupboards?” seriously, my bathroom cabinet contains 3 band-aids and a bottle of something that expired in 1996.
This is so true.
This comment + your username.
That is all.
Ok. What I want to know is how the balls Spencer Hastings did not get into UPenn as a multi-generational LEGACY!? She’s gotta fail out of high school TWICE to do that.
I’m guessing CeCe is on the A team and never turned in Spencer’s application and then A drew up the fake rejection letter. Watch, Spencer’s dad is going to find out she didn’t get accepted and be all ‘omg that is totes unacceptable’ and go to protest the decision and it will be this dramatic moment when they inform Spencer/her dad that they never received the application.
I am really pleased with the fact that there was not one, but two Chicago references in this recap. Well done.
Best recap ever.