The phone goes dead. In jail, Hanna and Ali glare at each other. And in Spencer’s living room, the Liars furrow their brows and wonder where in the world they’re going to find a girl who owns a jacket with flowers on it.
What the fuck, Aria?
Oh yay, my craft supplies came!
Aria is very freaked out for Mike because of how Leslie Stone named him in court today as one of the people who would not let her have all of Mona’s possessions and/or move into Mona’s bedroom after Mona died, but Mike says it’s about time for him to tell the truth to a court of law anyway.
Aria does not want Mike to take the stand, and her point about the imminent danger of doing such a thing is proven when he lugs a FedEx box in the front door in a minute and there’s a giant fucking blue whale tongue in there. Even Mike can barely lift the — dripping (gag!) — tongue out of the box and his whole body is just pecs. Aria and Mike manage to shove the tongue back into the box and cover it up before Ella comes bebopping into the room to tell them dinner is ready. (Only a dismembered mouth part from a sea beast could eclipse Ella Montgomery making a glorious entrance back into our lives.) Aria tells Mike it’s a warning from A and if he talks, it’ll be his tongue getting mailed around the world next.
Your girlfriend may not be ruled the gayest, but she’s a lesbian.
I know.
Down at the precinct, Toby gets pissy with Tanner when she asks him to make a Starbucks run. He says he went through the “academy” the same as everyone else. He does not know why Tanner is freezing him out just because he is the boyfriend of the Spencer who was arrested for murdering Bethany who was buried in the grave of Alison who faked her own death and is now on trial for killing Mona who was forced to check into a sanitarium for emotionally torturing Spencer who also spent time in the same sanitarium after Toby faked his death to go to work for Mona during the time when she found the dead body of Darren Wilden who was murdered by Cece Drake who looks exactly like Alison and Hanna and Bethany who all look like the girl murdering Mona on that video. Tanner stares at him without blinking for ten full seconds before telling him to just go get the goddamn coffee.
Before this show is over, I want to see Tanner have a conversation with Cece Drake. About literally anything. Doesn’t have to be about how she killed a police officer. Could be about purses. Cat care. Eyeliner. Camping. Wine. The Voice. Just anything. I want to see them interact one enchanted time. It’ll be like the opposite of those Cute Overload pictures where the zebras nurse the baby lions.
Here’s a list of the places Emily and I have made out. Library, locker room, bedroom, barn.
Hannily is still real.
Every day is laundry day at jail, and Hanna waits patiently in line while Alison hands out clean jumpsuits to everyone. When it’s Hanna’s turn, they have a covert conversation about the anagrams from Mona’s mirror. They exchange notes and agree to meet back at laundry duty tomorrow night to see if either of them have cracked Mona’s code. Pretty sure both of y’all already cracked Mona’s code (for something gay).
The next day, Aria rushes to Ezra’s bookstore and finds him out back fixing the transmission in his windowless white van. She asks him to please take Mike for “a long drive up to his cabin”* because surely the three years of “research”** he did on the Liars makes him understand how dangerous everything is for Mike right now.
*kidnap
**stalking
Does your shirt say “tres” two times?
Yes, duh.
And Ezra’s all about how Aria is in danger and he can’t believe there’s cow parts involved and he wishes Ella was the one who had opened that box because this is so scary the only person who can help them is the police. CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS MOTHERFUCKER? CAN YOU BELIEVE HIM? He watched Aria and her friends get tortured eleven ways to Sunday FOR YEARS and never went to the police and never even intervened to keep them from getting axe-murdered even one of the times they were axe-murdered, and it’s not even like it’s the first time dead cow pieces have been involved. Mona got that brain in her locker like sophomore year! But now everyone’s in danger and now everyone needs to go to the police and now he’s not sure he wants to break the law. It’s about ethics in true crime reporting, I guess.
Anyway, after he consults his newly acquired conscience for an hour, he decides he will help Aria.
Do you want to hear about a guy who died and came back to life and speaks in riddles and can do magic?
No.
Emily and Spencer decide to launch their worldwide investigation into That One Girl Who Wears a Jacket With Flowers at the shady park where Ali says she was on Thanksgiving. They do not find anyone wearing jackets. Or coats. Or parkas. Or tunics. But they do find some church kids cleaning up the park garbage. This place has been a real mess since Johnny stopped coming here to get his painting supplies. The church kids say they haven’t seen any girls around wearing jackets, but they say they’ll keep a lookout for such an odd sight.
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– Two months? Did somebody forget that they’re on Rosewood time?
– Somebody is jealous of Hanna’s relationship with Mona.
– What’s in the box?!?
– I thought that it was Paige that apparated in, not Piper.
– Emily, are you wearing short shorts?
– “How about you let me talk to her?” “Okay.” “Hi, have you-” “I’M GOING TO EAT YOU!”
– I simply thought that the girl was homeless.
– For once, I agree with Ezra. Caleb doesn’t give a crap about Mike. He’s rationalizing in order to help Hanna.
– Mike just got the crap beat out of him, and Caleb is all, “This can prove Hanna is innocent.”
– Ah, poor Alison. Is all of your lying and manipulation catching up with you?
– It looks like next episode Spencer goes down the rabbit hole again, and takes the other liars with her.
Seriously though, we all know that Spencer tried to murder Ali because Spencer had sex with Aria, Aria told Ali, and Ali taunted Spencer, right?
I hope you’re right about the rabbit hole! A collective hallucination would be just the thing!
aria’s face about the tongue and the craft supplies, that was hilarious, everything was but that especially. Do we know if season 6 will be the final season? We will finally learn who A is and season 6 will be proving it, right? Also the castle that a doll is placed in at the end, thats radley right?who’s the doll?
im so with you about ezra,….i think he is this show’s greatest failing if they don’t have him held accountable.
There are TWO more seasons, actually. (I think.)
Then isn’t the real Big A Reveal the end of season six? Cuz we were told we’d know before season seven. I mean I GUESS this time could be for real, but then what are they gonna do for two seasons?
oooh!!i read somewhere that lasts weeks episode had 1.7 mil viewers, “my sources” (read the internet), think season 7 might be shortened because of it. we’ll see if the numbers of the A reveal will pick up as a result. if its done well maybe the pick up can be sustained for the whole 2 seasons.
So I read somewhere that Marlene’s tweets say it’s going to be a “big” reveal about A, not a reveal of Big A, though Big A will be in the finale, ergo anyone not there we can cross off our lists. And that whoefur is Big A, we’ve seen in a hoodie befur, but then does that mean THE hoodie, or just A hoodie? Anyway, I think Marlene said after the finale, “we’d be able to put it together / have all we’d need” to deduce the identity of Big A, but there won’t be, like, a name or a shot of someone in a black hoodie and we just suddenly know who it’s been all this time. But then they said the reveal was happening befur season 7 – so does that mean THIS not really reveal, or an actual propurr reveal? Goodness knows… They do taunt us. I hope I’m wrong about this – I’ve not actmewally waded through the tweets myself to check.
If they do give us enough to figure it out, doesn’t mean the Liars will know who it is yet. They’ll find out sometime before season seven, but we may learn before six starts so we can be frustrated that they can’t figure it out, too. It would actually be really creepy to see them trusting someone that we know is out to ax murder them.
A few months ago the show got renewed for season 6 and season 7. It’s been pretty much confirmed that season 7 will be the end, but who the hell knows if that’ll happen.
It was announced a while back that PLL has been picked up for a 6th & 7th season.
This is NOT in defense of Andrew, but it was his year book page that Aria asked to look at,
Ohhhh. Well. But still.
I’m actually thinking Andrew might be guilty of SOMETHING, simply by the fact that SPENCER HASN’T ACCUSED HIM YET. But maybe that’s just because she’s been a little busy making out with every OTHER guy in her vicinity. Oh and getting arrested. But then again, he’s probably just another red herring.
OH. ORRRRR. Mona faked her own death, per A’s instructions, then A instructed ANDREW to ACTUALLY murder her. In the woods. With arrows. And Andrew’s been working for A ever since trying to hide the fact that Ali didn’t actually kill Mona.
My latest theory is that Jenna is Big A, and because she’s blind, she has to keep recruiting people to actually do all her dirty work for her – Mona, Shana, Toby (for a while), Caleb (for a while), Ian, Garret, Melissa, Lucas, etc. And now, apparently, Andrew. Just needed to put that out there in anticipation of the possibility that Big A might actually be revealed next week, so I can get credit for my genius :)
I said the same thing on the last recap! Great minds think alike. I think that Jenna is the only one with the motive to be A. Who else would have that level of hatred toward the liars?
It’s also clear from her history with Toby and Shana that Jenna has Ali-level manipulation skills and disregard for other people’s feelings.
The show tends to make people seem totally guilty and then reveal that they have been terribly misunderstood (think Toby, Melissa, Ezra etc). They have never done that with Jenna. We have seen Jenna suffer too, but even the scenes that were meant to humanize her never exonerate her the way that the other characters have been exonerated.
But who knows it’s probably Ali’s undead secret twin sister who is seeking revenge for having been kept in an underground bunker for 15 years by Rev. Ted.
Toby has plenty of reason to hate them. He did time because Ali blackmailed him into confessing to blinding Jenna, when he was actually being raped by Jenna on a semi-regular basis. None of the other Liars spoke up to clear his name after they thought Ali had been killed. If that’s not reason to hate them, I don’t know what is.
That picture of Church Guy’s face popping into that tunnel was eerily similar to when Johnny’s face was peeping in Spencer’s window. Same creeper smile. Same white dude face. I’m surprised Spencer didn’t make out with Church Guy on the spot.
Awesome recap, Heather. As always!
I recently read a theory that Toby is actually the one with a twin (Charles). Their parents being Marion and Mr. D. Charles killed Toby in season 3 and Spencer really did see his dead body in the woods (which drove her to a stay at Radley). Charles has been pretending to be Toby ever since.
Mind blown
“Ezra says that Mike — who is the same age Aria was when Ezra seduced and started dating her — is a child and cannot be expected to make grown-up decisions.”
Yup. Yup yup yup. Yup yup yup yup yup.
Fuck this guy.
I cannot wait for the PLL/OITNB crossover.
I’m sorry for ya but they’re gonna get kidnapped by A before even getting to prison
http://mrwgifs.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/06/Ashley-Benson-Excited-Attempting-To-Calm-Down-On-Pretty-Little-Liars.gif
Hilarious recap!
that jacket thing was the silliest, like really? Ali described it so vividly they just recognized it instantly?
Ezra really is the worst..
Ok, when Spencer and Emily are in the Hastings dark kitchen drinking spaghetti sauce talking about how she’s kissing everyone because she just wanted a warm body to curl up against, it made me think about that Spencer Paige fic you shared w us on FanFic Friday.
As the Bros Watch PLL Too guys put it, I think Mona is Gone Girling everyone. I’ve refused her death since we “saw” her in the trunk. I need more Ali/Mona slaps.
Okay the picture didn’t work but it’s Vanderjesus in angel wings.
I think you put a “/ at the end, which is what’s messing it up. Let me try.
THANK YOU.
A staged a breakin at Monas and planted the screwdriver with their prints on it at the scene. Possibly blood of theirs and monas too.
Was anyone else a bit thrown when a teenage girl on this show made a mistake and she was worried about her parents finding out, not how her homicidal stalker was going to use it against her?
Also parents lol
Toby constantly wants to be the big hero by being a double/sleeper agent but forgetting that doesn’t mean he only helps the opposition. Joining the police force is the same thing from the liars POV as helping mona.
Your best recap of 5B :)
Gosh so many funny moments in this, but I laughed so hard at this:
“whose name is Kendra (which is the name of the character Bianca Lawson played on Buffy and so therefore Maya is A)”
because I just finished reading a whole lot of tumblr theories, and some of them are just as wacky as this, lol.
Somehow I have managed to keep away from the Daisygate spoilers, or at least I think I have (maybe one of those crazy tumblr theories is real) but, I was just wondering if anyone is actually happy at what they say? because some people seem super unhappy about it.
I’m not sure what it says about the influence this show has on me, that I didn’t even bat an eyelash at the poor use of the law and lawyering in this episode. One thing that did bother me, how was Ali unable to manipulate even one juror into finding her not guilty? She manipulates people all the time, with practically no effort. Why not now? Did she want to be convicted?
A is Hanna, it’s sure !
Hilarious recap as always :-D
This episode was great. Andrew is being too obvious, there’s no way he’s A. Not even A-team material; he’s just jealous of Ezria’s relationship. So, it’s only natural he would try and kill the dude. After all, it is the Rosewood way. I’ve put him in the cousin Nate-category..
My money is on Aria all the way. Yes, it would suck, but it’s her. There are just too many clues pointing to her. I re-watched the pilot episode and found the last piece of the puzzle I needed to be 100% sure. Like I couldn’t believe I didn’t see that massive clue before, mind was blown.. And now we wait :-)
Oh now I’m dying to know what this massive clue is!
I’ll say this, just look at the text messages from “A” in the pilot. Really, really look at them, compare and find the differences between them. Seriously, it’ll change your life haha
You have to tell me what the clue is!
Ezra and his windowless white van, LOL. Sounds about right. Oh goddess, I’m like so ridiculously excited for next week!!!
Just caught up with all the eps then came on here to read all the recaps. Heather, great recaps as always. Was LOLing everywhere. I am also commenting to say that the captions for the pics are HIGH-LAY-RIOUS! I love ’em. Thank you both!
I finally have somewhere to read recaps of PLL and discuss! This is THE BEST DAY EVER.
Okay but is the US even in the commonwealth cause I kind of thought that they threw too much tea in the harbour for that???? In which case the jury has literally no qualifications for anything