Petition the White House for Beer

Ali’s Team Pick:

Hey President Obama, we’ve seen the beer you’ve been drinking on the campaign trail. And we want to know what it tastes like. What’s that, you say? It’s a special home brew? It’s only brewed at the White House? Well, Mr. President, you know who else loves politics and home brewed beer? Queer ladies. And apparently lots of other people too.

Really, I want all beer. But especially presidential beer. via artbracket.com

Over at We The People, the White House’s platform for U.S. Citizens to directly petition the federal government, there are calls for the president to release the recipe for the Honey Ale that he brews at the White House. And I think, being a democracy, we should totally have access to this beer recipe. Because isn’t that what democracy is all about? The equal access to Presidential home brew recipes? Now, We The People doesn’t guarantee the White House will give petitioners what they ask for, they just guarantee that if a petition meets the petition threshold (the number of signatures the White House is asking for) they’ll issue an official response. However, if you’re a big political nerd on twitter and you do things like, oh, follow the Press Secretary, you’ll have noticed this:

!!! via Twitter

SCHNELL, QUEERS! SCHNELL! Head over to We The People and sign that petition if you happen to reside in the US!  It has until September 17th to make it to 25,000 signatures and I want to brew Presidential Beer! And while you’re at it, exercise your right to petition your government by signing other petitions or making a few of your own.

My girlfriend and I congratulate you on exercising your right to petition the White House for a beer recipe. Mazel tov.

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A.E. Osworth

A.E. Osworth is part-time Faculty at The New School, where they teach undergraduates the art of digital storytelling. Their novel, We Are Watching Eliza Bright, about a game developer dealing with harassment (and narrated collectively by a fictional subreddit), is forthcoming from Grand Central Publishing (April 2021) and is available for pre-order now. They have an eight-year freelancing career and you can find their work on Autostraddle (where they used to be the Geekery Editor), Guernica, Quartz, Electric Lit, Paper Darts, Mashable, and drDoctor, among others.

A.E. has written 542 articles for us.

21 Comments

  1. It still wouldn’t taste the same without White House Bees. So all we need is a really sexy Queen Bee to lure the bees out…. I’m assuming you’ll volunteer?

  2. As an amateur home-brewer and an avid craft beer connoisseur, I’d sign that shit twice if I could!

    • Tell that to my girlfriend! She makes such fun of me over them.

      Or rather, she makes such fun of me because I can’t drink beer from the bottle without spilling it all over everywhere and because I need the pint glasses to drink beer at all.

    • Are you talking about the Africa the country brand not the continent brand????

      I hear the continent flavor has a rich, complex flavor full of dry and sometimes sweet undertones but the country is… I don’t want to say bland but a one-note pungent flavor that seems to be popular.

    • My girlfriend has two answers for you:

      1. “Magic!”

      2. “All her thoughts are really pointy.”

      (I got it cut to resemble Evan Rachel Wood.)

  11. “you know who else loves politics and home brewed beer? Queer ladies.”

    It’s apparent to me now that this is one of life’s great truths. Thanks for pointing that out!

Comments are closed.