Brittany and Santana are going to the chapel, y’all. They’re gonna get married!

This episode was brought to you in part by infallible white men, lesbian detectives I want to spoon, tiny bisexual girls with questionable morals, and by viewers like you.

“Ruth lifts her head, smiles demure and sweet, her lips swollen with kissing. ‘Can’t miss a chance to minister to a heathen like you, Idgie.'”

Emily meets her girlfriend’s husband, and Hanna dances like she’s possessed by the Holy Ghost.

So, this article about the GLAAD “Where We Are on TV” report basically turned into an encyclopedia of LGBTQ female characters we’re gonna see in 2014-2015.

It was a pretty lame week for queer women on TV, but at least Kalinda and Lana were naked most of the time.

Salem continues to align itself with Western superstition, ending Season One with episode #13. No, you won’t be able to escape this unlucky number, like those old 1970s elevators that jump you from the 12th to the 14th floor.

The Good Wife’s best character continues to be Kalinda Sharma’s trench coats.

In which neither Callie nor Arizona can ever respect boundaries and pickles become things that help save lives.

It’s the episode where instead of having sex Callie and Arizona have an emotional conversation in a quiet section of the hospital. Holy shit, aren’t you excited? This is life mimicking art, y’all.

Happy Halloween! Have a brand new lesbian character dressed as a dinosaur!

Everyone’s favorite Gotham City Detective will be a regular on the hotly anticipated new show from Fox.

“I struggled with my sexuality for a long time and I think it would have been so much easier if I’d seen someone like me on TV or in a movies or in books. Femslash fan fiction gave me that; the stories I read showed I wasn’t alone because other people had to think like me if they’re writing about this stuff.”

Maybe girl-on-girl action is like the antenna that boosts magical Wi-Fi. (That was an alcohol-inspired thought.)

Lena and Stef chat about some sexy handcuff situations, while Jude and Connor kiss right on the mouth.

The season finale of Transparent!

Due to the fact that Arizona and Callie are stuck with Another Baby as their storyline, liberties were taken to spice up this week’s recap. You’re welcome, America.

Renee and Barbara are in love, pass it on.

An exasperated trans woman and her three narcissistic kids walk into a bar.

Calzona is the worst couple combo name ever. It’s like something you can order at Pizza Hut but shouldn’t because it will give you a heart attack and/or hella greasy pores.