At Castor HQ, Helena is being waterboarded because of course she is because there is no end to this angel’s suffering! Torture, vitals, torture, vitals, torture, vitals. Finally, Mother pokes her head in the door and tells them to shut it down because Helena’s preliminary blood tests are back and she’s definitely got some buns in her oven.
I’m not leaving her home alone with all this j-u-i-c-e around.
I can spell, Mother. You spelled “juice.”
Oh, you’re so brilliant. Let’s see you find it.
Ms. S and Felix hang out at Ms. S house — which continues to be like hanging out in the middle of the interstate, but okay — talking about how she blew it hardcore trading Helena to Paul for information about Kira. And but how was she meant to know? She’d pushed every button she thought Sarah possessed, and Sarah never fought back. Not really. And anyway, Sarah killed Helena once too! But noooo, now all of a sudden, it’s like nobody’s allowed to murder Helena or hand her over to some psychos to be tortured or else you can’t be Sarah’s family anymore. Felix makes Ms. S some tea like the British always do when someone is sad or bleeding to death from a flesh wound, and tells her it’s time to stop pouting and start scheming. He gives her a blue ClonePhone to help with her wily designs.
There’s only three things I do really well, sweetheart, and science and sass are the other ones.
Dyad Institute of Duplicitous Deoxyribonucleic Inquisition. Cosima spins Scott around in his chair and laughs at him while he protests that he’s gonna throw up. They’re jolted from their playtimes by Dr. Nealon, who is taking a break from who even knows what to meet with them. Fitting Rachel for an eyeball transplant. Sewing tails on Castor clones. Hiring a hitman to off Bill Nye. Eating Cheerios, sinisterly.
Cosima: Oh, shit, dude, your pants are on fire!
Nealon: WHAT?!?
Cosima: That was just a joke because of how you are a liar.
Nealon: They told me Sarah was the sarcastic one.
Cosima: Hey, so remember how that Castor clone escaped and you didn’t bother to tell us, even though those guys keep on trying to murder us? And remember how you tried to loot Sarah’s ovaries? Remember how you’re the worst?
Nealon: I knew we should have just cloned some sea otters.
Cosima: Anyway, Scottie’s got a question for you.
Scott: Yeah, um, where’s the original genome?
Nealon: Duncan lost it when the military shut down funding for Castor and Leda, like Leekie told you.
Cosima: Bullshit, but good to know where you stand at least.
Don’t look now but are there some giant Gatsby eyeballs dressed like the Joker staring at us.
Sarah strolls up to the police department like some kind of Beth Childs to chat with Art and the woman the Castor guys assaulted. He can’t believe she has the gall to show up at a place where she pretended to be a detective, and her sister pretended to be her pretending to be a detective. It’s not that he’s worried that she’s going to get him in trouble; Art can handle himself. It’s that Angie is still lurking around here somewhere and if she scopes Sarah’s face for even a nanosecond, she’s gonna start in again with her awful bullshit again, and then where will they be?
The woman who was assaulted doesn’t want to talk to Sarah anyway. She’s rightfully furious because Art’s not going to arrest these guys, even though the conditions of consent changed for the sexual situation she was in, after which the two of them ripped out some of her hair and stole all of her personal information. She’s like, “Because once you agree to let a guy stick his dick in you, all bets are off, right? It’s an implied yes to literally everything that happens after that?” Art’s face says he gets how fucked up the law is, but there’s nothing he can do about it. The weirdest things about the Castor guys is: 1) Their matching horse tattoos, and 2) How mad Rudy was on Seth’s behalf when this woman told them no.
It’s almost like the they were raised in a culture of toxic hypermasculinity where they were conditioned to believe they’re entitled to do whatever they want with women’s bodies, which are things that exist only to make babies and serve their sexual whims. Right? That’s why Sarah and Helena are “made of the good stuff.” And that’s why they didn’t even blink at the idea of raping this woman. “Transitory Sacrifices Of Crisis” is much more focused on Orphan Black‘s straight dudes than the Leda clones/Felix, and while that’s not my preference, obviously, I’m really impressed that the writers come out unapologetically swinging at gender constructs and rape culture. Their disdain for both of those things is not subtle, and it is so refreshing.
(I actually also really enjoyed that they dialed back the pace of this episode by a zillion. It was nice to take a breath and assess where all the chess pieces are before the board is inevitably blown to smithereens by like the ghost of Ethan Duncan riding on the back of a velociraptor stuffed with dynamite.)
Men are like atoms. They make up everything.
Sarah calls Cosima to talk about the horse tattoos, and she’s all, “Oh, right. Castor and Pollux. Like those twin brothers from Greek mythology that Leda gave birth to by laying some eggs. No wonder they’re so obsessed with your ovaries.” Cosima tells Sarah this seems like an impossibly circuitous way to get to Helena, and so maybe she should just call Paul and ask him where she is.
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– Are Alison and Donnie not the best?
– “Where are these mangoes? We like mangoes.”
– Well Dr. Coady, you’re on the right track giving Helena food, but it’s not sugar so better luck next time.
– That Prolethean Mark scene made me just curl my toes and, “NOPE, NOPE, NOPE.”
PS – I need a clip of Helena and Pupok talking about mangoes.
When Donnie said ‘Fist me’ I choked on my tea and proceeded to cough for the next minute *lol*
Alison and Donnie are the best indeed!
Very very uncomfortable with all the Castor clones. Waterboarding, not cool. Raping a woman, not cool (although shoutout to the writers for pointing out that bullshit when she went to the cops). Holding Kira hostage, uncool. Rudy shooting Seth, unexpected. Mark blowtorching his tattoo off, unexpected.
I’m liking this trend of making Orphan Black the official TV show for misandry.
A person I talk with on another site said that Tatiana said that you can’t fake waterboarding, so in that scene she’s actually being waterboarded.
The “fist me” scene was perfect. And Alison just looking at the camera like she’s on the Office, just in disbelief.
I’m really happy with the writing of this show, calling out casual misogyny and rape culture.
Also, just to keep a casual eye on it…
Things Tatiana Maslany Does in Orphan Black:
1- 10) Plays Sarah, Beth, Katja, Alison, Cosima, Helena, Rachel, Jennifer, Tony, and Krystal (so far)
11) Voices and does sfx for a scorpion
12) Is Waterboarded
13) Produces
14) ???? 2390842 other things probably
So, have you guys seen the 4 hidden syllogisms (the riddles the Castor clones and Helena had to solve) that were in the trailers for season 3? I guess they were like, coded in binary and some people deciphered them. Which like, I didn’t even know they were putting that much effort into fan easter eggs, so that’s cool. Anyway, they are:
1)”Some scorpions are predators. No predator is a pet. Conclusion: Some scorpions are not pets. True or False?” And we have Pupok.
2)”Some bathtubs are bloody. All blood is suspicious. Conclusion: Some bathtubs are suspicious. True or False?” And in the episode 3 preview we see Sarah and Felix drawing a very dead Seth a nice bath.
3)”Some products are hypoallergenic. All soaps are hypoallergenic. Conclusion: All products are soap. True or False?” Maybe spoiler alert? There was an e3 trailer that maybe people haven’t seen. Donnie and Alison are making soap as a front for their fun little drug-ring project.
4) “No organ functions without oxygen. Some organs are brains. Conclusion: Some brains function without oxygen. True or False?” I don’t think we’ve gotten anything for this one yet. I’m wondering if it has to do with Cosima because of her lung thing? Or the Castors because of their brain glitch thing? Someone’s going to die. Maybe it was referring to Seth though?
I’m wondering if they’re going to keep putting little easter eggs like that in the trailers. I don’t have the energy to solve them, but it’s cool that they’re there.
Re: Felix turning Scott – Still not Evelyn Brochu. Perhaps if he turned Paul. Maybe then he’d be on par. Maybe.
I am so incredibly disappointed that “blue as the skies of lesbos” did not get an honorable mention. S.M.H.
Dammit Heather I wanted to solve that riddle on my own! (No I didn’t.)
It’s worth noting that Greek mythology’s Leda was also raped by Zeus in the guise of a swan (either raped or seduced, depending on the source; the notion of consent baffles the patriarchy).
“It’s almost like the they were raised in a culture of toxic hypermasculinity where they were conditioned to believe they’re entitled to do whatever they want with women’s bodies, which are things that exist only to make babies and serve their sexual whims.”
Bless you, Heather!
Brilliant recap, I especially loved that part.
Also Helen was a daughter of Zeus and Leda, Helena is the “violent” clone. And like Helen Helena gets “sold” and traded around like a commodity. There’s destruction where ever she goes.
I’d point out the biblical roots of Sarah and Rachel, but uh both matriarchs struggled with infertility so uh it doesn’t “poetically” fit.
Oh yeah and Delphine basically means of Delphi which is where the Oracle was at, linked up to the gods yanno. Or dolphins, which are an animal that have lesbian sex.
Whatever connection floats your boat. :P
I’m still laughing over “A tophat for Pupok”.I do hope someone with mad photoshop skills will make that happen!
Pupok can then go on to gain celebrity status on a site such as “Cute Things in Tophats” and whenever someone feels obliged to protest the presence of a scorpion, the standard answer will be “But it’s Pupok and he loves mangoes!”
The crittter is really beginning to grow on me.
Also, anyone else think “Mother” and Mrs.S would be great having a bunch of beers together at a bar sometime? Just swapping stories about their crazy pasts and about the multiple, identical kids, you know.
I feel like Mother and Mrs S would theoretically get along, but that in this universe they’d be like rival dance moms clashing while their clone kids are just like “Maaaaa, you’re embarrassing us… no one else’s mom fights their battle for them”
To which they both respond “well I guess you have a bloody good mum then!” And continue to tear each other apart.
Can someone fanfic this please? I needs.
I was going to say I loved your recaps *almost* as much as Orphan Black but they’re now so much a part of the whole experience that I don’t think it’d be fair to compare.
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