Feature image by viktor hanacek via picjumbo.
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Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
by roseograhy
+ To be good at dating other people you have to be good at dating yourself, so here’s how to take yourself out to dinner:
“Lots of us have been socialized to believe that dining in public establishments is something we only do with other people. So why dine alone? Oh my god, there are a bunch of reasons to learn the art of this utterly sophisticated pleasure. Dining solo gives you time to appreciate the moment, to soak up the atmosphere, to order whatever you want without discussion, to be confident and comfortable in this, a moment when you are publicly, actively alone, doing something many would not dare to do. Dining alone is freeing.”
+ There was a lot of queer nightlife in the early twentieth century, turns out.
+ People get anxious about a lot of things related to sex, including fearing unknown STIs, body image, partners’ orgasms, being bad at sex, feeling awkward after sex and body hair.
+ A herpes vaccine could be coming.
+ You will get over your breakup.
+ At Broadly, Madison Montag discusses the challenges of being a trans porn star.
+ Obscenity laws are absurd.
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen reviewed the Rumble, saying it looks really neat but is only okay.
By photographer Mark Velasquez, models Agnosia and Rivi Madison, and stylist Agnosia. Via lola-agnosia
+ At Refinery 29, Vanessa Marin, Simi Botic, and Recinos discuss strategies when one partner in a relationship has a chronic health condition, including communication and support. Botic says:
“I think the challenge is really connecting with what you need in moments that are a little bit more calm, so that when you’re feeling very overwhelmed, you’re able to communicate those things…I think when you’re talking to someone who’s never been in that heightened emotional state, which is very present when you’re talking about orthorexia or bingeing disorder or anxiety or depression or whatever it might be, you have to also understand that the person isn’t going to be able to get what you’re feeling 100%. It’s okay if they don’t get this 100%. It doesn’t invalidate my experience.”
+ Ghostbot will text bad dates so you don’t have to (presumably after a direct “not interested” fails):
“Ghostbot, which launched on Tuesday, will, in the fashion of modern courtship rituals, ever-so-ambiguously reject your unwanted dates, over and over, via text. All you have to do is activate the app and it will reply to all those ironic ‘Netflix and chill’ texts. Sample responses include, ‘Sorry, I’m just completely overwhelmed with work’ and ‘Sorry, just me and [pizza emoji] tonight.’
The bot was created by Burner, a privacy app that lets you use unlimited phone numbers that you can ‘burn’ if someone starts abusing them. A press release describes Ghosbot, which is used in conjunction with a Burner number, as ‘an intelligent agent [that] will take over and handle aggressive, abusive, or otherwise don’t-want-to-deal-with-it texts for you with humor, effective disengagement tactics, and a touch of artistry.'”
@bambidoll_ by hana haley via alexandreanissa.com
+ Here is how to buy lingerie:
“The value of searching out lingerie that speaks to you is immense. I never feel as much like myself as I do when I’m wearing lingerie that I adore. While it sounds basic, finding lingerie that makes you feel good about yourself can truly change your whole outlook on life, or at least your outlook on the average Tuesday. The best part is that lingerie can reflect a part of yourself that you don’t need anyone else to see. You can dress for the person in your head and your heart, without worrying about what anyone else might think.”
I must say that, while I support an individual transfemale’s right to choose her occupation, such as sex work or porn, I regret that those choices seem to weigh heavily on the public perception of transfemales as a whole.
Perhaps I am overreacting, but my hope to be perceived as an average female who happens to be transgender and is attracted to other average girls would seem to be negatively impacted by such a public perception, albeit inaccurate.
Just wanted to vent. I just want to be perceived as who I really am.
And people’s perception of you is not based on other trans women’s choices. You need to hold cishet people responsible for how they treat you, NOT other trans women.
Sex work is not something to be ashamed of, but it is shameful to shame people for it. Especially when sex workers engage in prostitution because they are in poverty. Particularly trans women, who are statistically more likely to be in poverty.
Don’t condemn your sisters for the crimes of white cishet society. Don’t throw them under the bus because you want to fit in with the same people who make all our LGBT+ lives difficult.
At the end of the day it matters that you are you. Not that everyone in society recognizes you for who you are. Be you for you. Be with friends and family who love you for you. Who you are is not dictated by bigots or by women that are sex workers.
I didn’t condemn or shame anyone, nor blame the women for their choice.
I only stated that I regret that public perception of transgender people is based on biased ignorance.
Well, that’s not going to change even if there are no trans sex workers. ;)
Sigh!
If you are going to ignore a text and phone call anyways, why would you get a bot to answer back and make excuses? That person might try and try again in the future. Maybe I can see it used for other purposes. Idk. I just don’t like the dishonesty behind it but I understand it can be difficult to reject some one.
I think (hope?) it’s for when a direct no do not contact me again doesn’t get the message across.
The first picture. Wow