How To Buy A Strap-On and Dildo: Lesbian Sex Shopping Guide

If you’re looking for hot strap-on sex this holiday season, we are not surprised you have landed right here, on Autostraddle.com, where we have shared all kinds of information about strap-ons and how and where to buy them, for example this post about buying your first strap-on.

But if you’re looking for specific brand recommendations or considering giving a strap-on as a gift, congratulations, you’re in the exact correct post for that situation. There’s no day like today to slaughter two birds with one giant (cock) rockstone and give your special someone or occasional friend-with-benefits or your ex-girlfriend something sex-related. This way she thinks she’s getting a gift, but really YOU’RE getting a gift. And ideally it’ll be the gift that keeps on giving, as I believe they say in the ‘business.’

Or, perhaps you want to get yourself a little something or a big something to enjoy the winter season with a loved one.

Harness Strap-On Shopping Guide:

Generally people prefer to buy their own strap-ons. But sometimes the holidays are the only time anyone can get treated to a giant penis-shaped object and intricate strappage system which adheres said object to your vagina. You know? Ask your partner what they want if you think you can get away with it. Or replace the one you broke in May.

A good harness will be between $60 and $120 minimum. You don’t want to feel like you’re wearing something that could be purchased in a combination tanning salon/adult video store.

The basic factors you’ll be considering are materials, comfort, design, durability, size and functionality. Unlike dildos, which some lesbians prefer to trash between partners, you or your special friend might keep this harness literally until it breaks, so it’s an important investment.

$114 – SpareParts Joque Harness

Ever wanted to wear your harness in the shower? Fall asleep in it? Have it be made of things that are not animals? The Spareparts Joque Harness provides you with all these things. And you can put it in the washing machine!

+ Nylon/spandex, designed with comfort in mind
+ Fits many different body sizes from hips 20″ to 50″
+ Stretchable O-Rings to use different size dildos
+ Vegan-friendly
+ Waterproof
+ Accommodates double-headed dildos and is good for packing!

$110 – Aslan Jaguar Harness

+ Available in vegan faux-leather
+ Easy adjustment D-Rings to use different kinds of dildos.
+ Comes in different colors
+ If you’re not used to wearing a harness, this is a good one to start with.

$70 – Terra Firma Harness

+ Great design, easy to adjust
+ O-Rings allow for a variety of dildo sizes, also accommodates double dildo
+ Easy to clean

$50 – Rodeoh Harness

+ The simplest option. No learning curve. Just put it on and go for it.
+ Easy to wear, even if you’re not planning to put a dildo inside it
+ 95% Cotton, 5% Spandex
+ Your aim isn’t as precise as it is with a traditional harness, but it works good enough, is cheap, and comes in a variety of styles

Dildos Shopping Guide:

Silicone is the preferred material. There’s also Cyberskin, which is a lot like real skin and feels the bestest, but keeping it clean is a giant pain in the ass. There is upkeep and cornstarch involved but also is well worth it.

$105: Funfactory Share Dildo

+ Silicone
+ 6.5 inches, insertable portion 4.5 inches
+ If you are a Kegels Master, you can hold onto this sucker with your vadge but if not it will fit within a harness.

$70: Leo

+From Vixen, designers of “quality silicone dildos” (ideal for allergies/sensitive skin).
+ Longer than most dildos
+ Self-standing, harness compatible with a concave bottom that will self-adhere to any flat, non-porous surface.

$69: Vixen Creations “Maverick VixSkin” Dildo

+ VixSkin has the realistic look/feel of cyberskin but without the hassle.
+ 100% Platinum Grade Silicone – Phthalates free, Hypo-allergenic
+ Non-toxic, Non-irritating
+ Boilable, Bleachable (10% solution)

$75: Mr. Bendy

+ Made of softskin with a semi-realistic feeling but is silicone so you can wash it easier
+ Works for sex and for packing
+ It’s even endorsed by sugarbutch, so you know this thing means business: “My infamous Silky/Mr. Bendy (named differently depending on where you buy it), my very favorite cock – because you can pack with it, and play with it, and it actually works – unfortunately, that’s incredibly rare in the world of cocks.”

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Riese

Riese is the 43-year-old Co-Founder of Autostraddle.com as well as an award-winning writer, video-maker, LGBTQ+ Marketing consultant and aspiring cyber-performance artist who grew up in Michigan, lost her mind in New York and now lives in Los Angeles. Her work has appeared in nine books, magazines including Marie Claire and Curve, and all over the web including Nylon, Queerty, Nerve, Bitch, Emily Books and Jezebel. She had a very popular personal blog once upon a time, and then she recapped The L Word, and then she had the idea to make this place, and now here we all are! In 2016, she was nominated for a GLAAD Award for Outstanding Digital Journalism. She's Jewish and has a cute dog named Carol. Follow her on twitter and instagram.

Riese has written 3279 articles for us.

35 Comments

  1. that holiday guide was very helpful. i juuuust may get myself a gift. fa la la la la la la la la

    oh also, that video is like a nerd’s dream. greek mythology AND BOOBS?! merry christmas to meee.

  2. I swear, it looks like those fists are yelling ‘HELL YES!!!’

    Dismembered hands might not do it for me, but do they ever look enthusiastic.

  3. You know, I just bolted up in bed this morning at 8AM–to do homework, booooo homework, you whore–but my first thought was, “damn, I really would like Eileen Myles’ fist in my hoohaa on this fine Sunday.”

    Autostraddle, forever helpful. xox

  4. What’s with the “realistic” looking dildos? Most lesbians I know don’t go out of their way to find a dildo that looks like a penis.

    • Personally, I don’t mind. The ridges and shape of these tend to feel better than ones that don’t look like this. And if it feels good, do it. with me.

    • I feel you on this. I find dildos that look like penises to be terrifying. All my sex toys have to be purple. But I’m sure that there are lots of people who like the toys that look like actual cocks. I just hope any girlfriend of mine is sensitive to my terror of flesh-coloured, veiny, mushroom-headed faux-cocks.

  5. Oddly enough, we had a queer art gallery thing at my school and those Celebrity Fists were there…sweet home Alabama??? O_o

    The fist are very enthusiastic though. I would most likely refrain from fisting someone with it. I would just scatter them around the apartment (sit them on coffee tables, on top of the t.v, on on the counter…etc.)

  6. A.) I’m going to have to buy a fist for myself just to have one and not even use it. I mean come on Eileen?!! I’d proudly display that one on my mantle.

    B.) I love that this article was written by “party in my pants”

  7. Ha.. A straight dude who works in a sex toys shop just recommended that fun factory share dildo to me at a party this friday. And now you write about it. I feel like the universe wants me to try it, and it also looks fun. Now I just need someone to fuck/fuck me… :)

  8. I kind of want to get some fists solely for display just so when my straight friends visit I can be all, “Yess, it’s 1970s revolutionary kitsch…”

    Ehehehehehe.

    I don’t think I would actually use one, though… that’s a little weird for me, but if you’re into that, right on.

  9. I love this post because, a)

    From “Dear Andrea”, by Eileen Myles:

    I love you too
    don’t fuck up my hair
    I can’t believe
    you almost fisted me
    today.
    That was great.

    and, b)

    My name is Andrea. Lucky lucky lucky lucky lucky, I know!

    Also, this poem is the first thing by Eileen Myles I ever read. I saw it and I thought, “I must now buy everything this woman has ever written”

  11. I’m just going to write this here, because I need to vent, and because this post has the fewest comments of the latest posts and I feel bad for it, and also because of the tumblr link within it, it’s just related enough to be slightly relevant:

    OMG WHY IS TUMBLR DOWN. it’s been like more than 12 hours. what the frack, tumblr. WITHDRAWAL. i need a dashboard to refresh, and my stupid facebook feed is NOT cutting it.

        • Tres bien….and now I’m tapped out.

          but god that was really quite continenental while it lasted wasn’t it—and managed to distract me from the nature of said fibers, which I still do not care to discuss.

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