Feature image via womenofcolor.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
all over the map via takemetoyourbedroom
+ Most tips about having better sex are ….. taking responsibility for your own orgasm, practising feeling good about your body, managing stress and being mindful in the moment:
“Spectatoring describes the notion of worrying about our performance and sexual functioning while we are having sex. Many of us are guilty of it, and unsurprisingly, this kind of thinking does not tend to lead to mind-blowing orgasms. One way to stop spectatoring is to use mindfulness techniques, that is, when you notice you’re thinking negatively about yourself, stop, let the thought go, and switch gears to focus on something else, preferably a sensation, such as how your skin feels, your breath, how great your partner looks between your legs, basically anything to stop the negative cycle in your brain. Like all things, this can take practice, but retraining your brain is entirely possible.”
this was just in the shared nsfw dropbox and called “girls without pants” idk
+ Squirting is the subject of a lot of contention, but say it exists and say your body is theoretically capable of it — how do you do it? Practice your kegels, pee beforehand, find your G-spot with your fingers or a toy and relax:
“You want to give yourself about 20-30 minutes to reach orgasm. Remember, feeling the urge to pee is normal. You can always get up to use the restroom for some peace of mind, or be unabashed about trying to let go! If it feels like the G-spot isn’t “enough” stimulation, you can try rubbing your clit simultaneously. If you feel yourself starting to near orgasm, focus on pushing down on your PC muscles, releasing, and repeating. Bearing down is important because it will help the fluid actually release from the urethra. These steps might sound a little complex, but it will feel more natural when you’re doing it. It sounds cliche, but try to relax and enjoy yourself, regardless of what happens!”
Janay Danyel via womenofcolor
+ Kinkly also has a few reasons to believe in squirting.
+ I am so excited about the Magic Wand throughout art history.
via crushondykes via meli off duty and alainannoying
+ “A girl who brings her own skates to the rink,” “a late-night newsie,” “a girl with cake in her hand,” and other classic film code words for being sexually active.
+ What does lesbian sex actually entail? We asked, you answered.
via dark skinned black beauty (Model: McKenzie // Photog: Joe Chea (@Joe_Chea )
+ Adultery laws were racist and slut-shaming.
+ Sexting is old. Really old. You won’t believe just how old it is:
“Some people act as though using your phone to send an erotic note or photo to a lover is a brand new and kind of scary idea. The smartphone part is new. But the suggestive or explicit message? Those have been around for centuries. The format has changed with the available technology, but the sentiments remain the same.”
Stacy Barthe in the what’s underneath project via stylelikeu
+ When you feel like you have to choose between two people you love, who do you choose (and why choose at all)?
“I am, my very own self, in a polyamorous (open)(nonmonogamous)(there are a lot of words for this) relationship, and there are many satisfactory things about it. Not the least of which is being able to enjoy loving and being loved by multiple people, without having to sneak off the Chicago in order to further sneak around with a girl I might happen to like. It’s true that polyamory isn’t for everyone, for various reasons – some of them are constitutional, things about how you or your partner(s) feel that make polyamorous relationships untenable. In those cases, it’s just not a good idea. But sometimes much of people’s resistance to polyamory, or other kinds of open relationships, is more cultural – seems weird, jealousy is a difficult emotion, family membership at the zoo only covers two adults, and so on and so forth. There are a couple of pretty good books about polyamory that you can look into (Opening Up by Tristan Taormino is my favorite), so I am not going to do three verses and the chorus about polyamory and how it can work, except to say: it can work. It can work in various permutations, it can work with partners together or separately, it can work with children, it can work with many other happy possibilities you may imagine in your future. It can work on a train, it can work in the rain; with a fox or in a box. Is it complex? Sure. Will you need a very robust family calendar? Indubitably. Is there anything better than looking across the pizza place and seeing all your beloved humans together, munching companionably? Not so far as I am aware, and I have led a very lucky life and seen many marvels indeed.”
via Origami Customs
+ This is what it’s like to find out you have HPV:
“I was definitely more focused on the trauma of the procedure, because there’s kind of nothing I can do about having HPV. I should test negative in a year or two, and hopefully that’s the end of it. But it’s definitely confusing. I’ve never had any other STIs, so I didn’t have anything to compare it to, but it wasn’t like—here’s what you have, here’s the treatment, here’s the solution. It was an afterthought. You might have precancerous cells, and you also have HPV.”
+ Between the Ashley Madison hack and the Rentboy raids (and the Amnesty International call for decriminalizing sex work), sex work has been in the news a lot, and GQ published an article on sugar dating that nicely encapsulates a lot of what is wrong in writing about sex work, namely thinking poorly or making fun of sex workers; not taking their jobs seriously; not talking about them as people; not talking about their jobs as actual jobs; not talking about larger systems; etc. At the Toast, Mallory discussed good and bad writing about sex work, including how boring the bad writing is and how no one cares if its writer feels uncomfortable.
Miss Dorothy via curvesincolor
+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: “8 Steps Every Girl Can Take to Get a Girl to Sleep Over“:
“If you’re a girl who likes girls, you probably want a girl to sleep over sometimes, right? But isn’t life wild? I mean aren’t things just so hard to control? Like, there’s nothing you can do about that haircut or your personality, but here are eight things that are completely within your control that anyone — ANYONE! — can do to increase your chances of getting a sleepover!”
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
Thank you for linking “8 Steps Every Girl Can Take to Get a Girl to Sleep Over“ because
a) I am due for a sexy sleepover
and
b) The No Pets segment hit home because I was recently with a girl whose cat was on the bed the entire time meowing and cuddling and as much as I like cats it was just so freaking distracting.
The photo choices in this week’s post are especially delightful.
The sleepover article is #1 just sayin
It boggles my mind that some people still think squirting isn’t a thing. It happens to me damn near every day! To the point that it’s almost ridiculous and slightly embarrassing how much I squirt! #noshame #itsnotpee #squirtingisreal
Yeah, tell me about it. Once to convince a significant other that it wasn’t pee, on a morning I was kind of dehydrated, I played with myself and got myself to squirt… kneeling over a clear plastic bin. Even the women who have analyzed it with complex procedures like light spectroscopy aren’t believed. I think it’s because it must just be insanely difficult to get research on female sexuality funded. As far as a lot of (straight/heteronormative) people are concerned, women don’t need to enjoy sex for the species to continue, and our pleasure is seen as being inherently less important, so who cares?
How do you get a regular squirter to relax about it? I’m enthusiastic but partner still worries about it (2 1/2 years in)
Honestly I think the best thing you can do is just be enthusiastic and positive and supportive about it until your partner stops worrying! Sometimes it’s hard to stop worrying, and it might take so much time and it sounds like you’re doing great, but you’re on the right track. (It never hurts to tell someone directly, “I love this thing you do” though.)
Squirting is an incredible experience for both partners. It really boils down to a simple stimulation technique. We actually have never met a woman that did not squirt after applying this technique.
You can watch me make my wife squirt at http://www.squirtingisreal.com