Feature photo from March & August via The Lingerie Addict.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
QueerCooks via rodeohs
+ At the Hairpin, Lindsay King-Miller answers questions about no-strings-attached cuddling, maybe being afraid to have sex, lesbian gym teachers and trying to date a couple with whom you also work:
“Ask yourself: If you proposition them and they’re not interested, do you want to continue your friendship? What if one of them wants to date you and the other doesn’t? What if they’re interested in a secondary relationship with you, but their primary relationship is only with each other? Do you want to retain the option of dating people besides them? There aren’t any wrong answers here, but it’s important to be able to articulate what you want, and to know how you’re planning to respond if what they want and what you want are two different things. Be really honest with yourself here. If you’re hoping for true and lasting three-way love and they’re like ‘well, maybe we’ll make out with you from time to time,’ don’t try to convince yourself that’s good enough, because settling for less than you really need is a recipe for ending up bitter, resentful, and heartbroken. I’m not saying you can’t do casual hookups with these ladies if that works for all of you! I’m just saying, know what you need, and be willing to call it quits if you end up in an arrangement that doesn’t make you happy.”
+ Who we find attractive is a result of our life experiences and the people we’ve interacted with, according to a study published in Current Biology.
“[W]e like what we like because we like it, not because it’s inherited.
This is not necessarily a huge revelation, but it’s an interesting entry in the larger conversation about preferences and attraction, which is an ever-shifting, mysterious thing. […]
While certainly there’s always the possibility of the novel attraction, what’s great about this research is that it kills two birds with one stone. First, who you like is who you like, and that’s okay. But also: exposure matters. Putting more diverse groups of people in TV shows, movies, ad campaigns, billboards, music videos—these decisions can absolutely shift of our idea of what is human, what is real, what is lovely, and what is, of course, ‘normal.'”
Chelsea Poe photographed by Courtney Trouble for indie porn revolution
+ Porn Hub is starting to fight revenge porn:
”Yesterday PornHub announced a new anti–revenge porn initiative, involving ‘the creation of an all encompassing page that streamlines the process for users to remove any videos posted without consent quickly and painlessly.’ The form (which currently has NSFW banner ads) allows users to input the URL of any nonconsensual content they want removed; according to a press release, this will “make the process more efficient/effective in helping to ID and eliminate revenge porn content.” Significantly, users won’t have to provide government identification throughout the request process—which is something other popular sites require—and Pornhub maintains that reported content will generally be removed within a few hours.”
via loneookami
+ Sometimes you just don’t want to be naked right now.
+ Virtual reality might save porn, according to Ela Darling (who spoke to us about it too!).
+ Adult Mag’s website got hacked.
via ehais
+ Sometimes you end up with herpes and this is what you need to know:
”The most important thing to tell you is that 99% of the problems caused by herpes are social. This virus is not damaging to your body. It will not cause cancer, it will not kill you. It will just live inside your cells, hanging out with you, for the rest of your life. For most people, herpes is just an annoyance, a couple days of itching and no sex before it goes away on its own. It won’t make your genitals fall off, it won’t cause infertility or harm your family for generations to come. With suppressive regimens, you can stop outbreaks before they even happen. In medical terms, herpes is not a big deal. Herpes is harmful because of the social stigma attached to it, because in a sex negative society where STDs are treated like a punishment instead of a disease, herpes is visible and doesn’t go away.”
MsJovana via prettyplussize
+ From the Autostraddle Lesbian Sex Archives: Sometimes, you just want some sex toys that can fit in your bra. Also: lube samples:
“Coming in tiny tear-packet travel sizes, samples of lube are the best way to stay wet when it’s not practical to bring an entire bottle of lube with you (or when you want to try just a bit of a new brand). Remember not to use silicone lube with silicone toys.”
Also, you CAN get it on after hip replacement surgery.
+ Another NSFW Essay behind the A+ Paywall: in which Molly Adams explores the Post-Apocalyptic World of Wasteland Weekend and you will probably feel just like Anna felt when they first saw this post which is, “WAIT WHAT AM I LOOKING AT THIS IS AMAZING”
photo by Molly Adams for Wasteland Weekend
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
it’s cool to see literally any discussion at all of sti’s besides “here’s how not to get one” in queer spaces (or poly spaces, or feminist spaces, or any kind of nominally “sex positive” space).
i had my first herpes outbreak about 6 years ago and it fucked me up mentally pretty badly because of the stigma (compounded by the fact that i’m both black and bisexual…confirming everyone’s ugliest stereotypes). it’s not as bad now but i still hate dating and feel like it’s a waste of time getting emotionally invested in people. and i still have to be tipsy or preferably drunk to disclose.
i guess my point is that it’s true that 99% of these problems are related to stigma, but recognizing that fact doesn’t make the stigma go away or get any easier to deal with.
The herpes stigma is the literal stupidest thing. You probably already have it. I probably already have it. Most people do and just never have symptoms.
I would totally date someone who knows they have it. It is not a dealbreaker for me. There are far worse things.
I just wanted to say I totally rely on lesbosexy Sunday to tell me when Ask a Queer Chick has a new post, so thank you for always including those!