feature image via c is for curves
Hello! Welcome to NSFW Lesbosexy Sunday!
Sierra McKenzie via c is for curves
+ The Coquette (previously interviewed on Autostraddle) has an answer to lesbian bed death due to massive sex drive differences:
“Be brutally honest. Just say, “I am opening up our relationship, and I am going to start having sex with other people. It’s just sex. I’m not looking for love or intimacy. I have that with you, and I don’t want love or intimacy from anyone but you. Quite frankly, I’d rather be having sex with you than with anyone else, so as soon as you feel capable of resuming a regular sex life with me, we can be monogamous again. Until then, please know that I love you very much, but this is something that has to happen.”
Yep. It’s really that simple. The hard part comes later when you find out how strong your relationship really is. Maybe it’s an arrangement that can work. Maybe it brings you two closer as a couple, or then again, maybe it’s what finally blows shit up.”
via lovely lesbians
+ PSA: It does not matter what your vagina smells like:
“Here’s the thing. Your vagina smells and tastes fantastic to those who love you (and even sometimes those who don’t). If it doesn’t, it only means that they are themselves buried in shame. And you know deep down, no matter how hard you scrub your vagina or how many times a day you douche, you will never be rid of shame. Because it doesn’t come off with soap and water, it only dissolves with love. As if it was never there. So love you and your smell and others will too. It’s really that simple.”
via sapphoria
+ If you’ve been wondering about electrosex toys, Kinkly has answers:
“The thing is, the electrosex toys we see in porn are almost always used during hardcore BDSM scenes. A typical clip features someone strapped down and hooked up to a devious electric device that makes them squeal and writhe in agony. In pornography, we tend to only see the extreme end of the spectrum. After all, that’s what’s most exciting to watch! While you can absolutely elicit that same reaction with electrosex toys at home, they also have a much softer side many of us never get to see.
There are two types of electrosex devices, and they’re both versatile enough to use for intense fetish play or tender love making. These are wands and TENS units. Each are used for different types of play and create very different sensations. Wands are typically used on the surface of the skin while TENS units penetrate deep tissue, making them better suited for genital orgasmic stimulation.”
+ Pocket watches: the porn app of the 19th century:
“Dubbed “pocket porn,” these dirty timepieces have a history that dates back to the early 19th century. Until recently, these erotic watches were only for in-the-know ardent collectors because their sexy undercurrents were concealed. Usually the hand-painted and extremely graphic depictions were hidden behind dials and faces of the pieces. But turn a knob, and out comes the duke groping under the courtesan’s skirt.”
+ Tiles were also a form of really old porn, and a series of eight eighteenth-century erotic tiles will be on display at the Museum of London for Valentine’s Day:
“The eight tiles were discovered in 1962 after a fire in an upper room of one of London’s most memorable old pubs and remain shrouded in mystery.
Jackie Keily, curator at the museum, said: “We can’t normally display them because they are so graphic. It is a fascinating glimpse into the sexual history of London; so few of these artefacts survive.” […]
The tiles were discovered in 1962 following a fire at Ye Old Cheshire Cheese pub on Fleet Street and were handed to the museum shortly after.”
+ There is a game about making your toys have sex.
Odlie and Daisy Ducati via Crash Pad Series
+ Sex and books are the best ways to get better sleep, according to a new study that apparently does not consider what happens if you have really enthusiastic sex or really like your book.
+ Here is how to tell whether you should break up.
via freshie juice (Shot by RabbitHeart 2012)
+ The 10 most romantic Starbucks locations in the world: a list that exists.
+ Other people aren’t having as much sex as you think they are (mostly):
“1,334 readers, 7% of those that responded, told us they had never had sex. Most of those were younger adults but 32 were more than 65 years old. […] 43% of respondents told us they had not had sex in the past four weeks. That is double the proportion in the official statistics we had reported on.”
+ Post-break-up meaningless revenge sex is a thing, says science:
“Thirty-five percent of participants said they had sex to get over their ex-partner, and 25 per cent reported having had sex as a form of revenge. Perhaps unsurprisingly, people who had been ‘dumped’ were more likely to have ‘rebound’ or ‘revenge’ sex than those who left their partners.
The researchers found that true to popular belief, participants who were dumped by their partners felt more distressed and angry and more likely to have sex to cope and to get back at or get over their ex-partner.
‘People really do use sex as a way to get over or get back at their ex-partner in the aftermath of a breakup,’ Ms Cooper told Live Science.”
via kaylin garcia
All of the photographs on NSFW Sundays are taken from various tumblrs and do not belong to us. All are linked and credited to the best of our abilities in hopes of attracting more traffic to the tumblrs and photographers who have blessed us with this imagery. The inclusion of a photograph here should not be interpreted as an assertion of the model’s gender identity or sexual orientation. If there is a photo included here that belongs to you and you want it removed, please email bren [at] autostraddle dot com and it will be removed promptly, no questions asked.
That Coquette advice is the worst advice I think I’ve heard in a long time. If somebody said that to me, I think I’d punch them in the face.
You’d have to awful brave to look me in the face and say something like that. It’s not even “Can we talk about an open reltionship?” it’s “I’m opening this relationship. Off to have sex with someone else. Ta ta for now!” hahaha my god
yeeeaaaaah, i feel like the response to that would be, “Ohhh, you’re opening the relationship? Well, here’s a surprise: it’s so open wE’RE BREAKING UP! HAVE FUN!”
and then dive out the window & fly away
AMEN
That suggested reply is TERRIBLE. I have only been in open relationships but would die the death before announcing something like that. Taking away your partner’s agency is bullshit.
AND that kind of open relationship is TERRIBLE POLYAMOURY. IT DOESN’T WORK LIKE THAT. YOU DON’T GET TO MAKE RULES ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS IT WILL CRASH AND BURRRNNNNNNNN
I feel like that comment can only be said within polyamorous relationships. In a monogamous relationship hearing, “I’m going to have sex with other people” is grounds for a break-up. Or maybe I’m projecting here because that’s exactly what I would happen if my hypothetical-partner said that to me.
I would have been like, “GIRL BYE!”
And of course head to the nearest bar.
RIGHT? So glad I’m not the only one. I wrote a really long comment earlier (before reading others) about how shitty this would be to say in the context of a monogamous relationship… but then my phone died. Like, no discussion, you’re just straight up telling me you’re going to have sex with other people? And then you have the gall to make the subsequent assumption that my ass is not going to be out the door before your can finish your sermon? Bye, bitch!
Oh my god, freckles. On that toolesbiantofunction picture? Yeah. That’s all.
my thoughts exactlyyyyyyy. /chinhands + dreamy sigh
Yes, she is everything.
Okay, I should have done this awhile ago anyway, but I HAD to create an account just to say WOW these pictures. Wow. wow.
As a kinky (depending on your definition) girl, I’m fascinated by electrosex toys. A small part of me would be kind of worried about permanent damage of continuous electric shocking though. Anyone have any input/reviews of them? Bear in mind, I’m not even clear on how they work
That advice reeks of what annoys me about Savage’s excuse for cheating: no one partner should feel they have the inherent right to decide the future of the relationship without consulting the other(s). I defiantly think the person should seek sex if they desire, but that doesn’t mean the other partner has to accept it. They have a right to seek sexual fulfillment, but not to a relationship with someone else. This advice comes across as emotional manipulation. If one partner no longer wants to go without sex or feels their needs aren’t met, I would hope that after letting their partner know and if their partner was still unable/unwilling to meet those needs, then the conversation would go more along the lines of:
“I’m not okay with the current state of our sex life and would like to open the relationship. I really want to stay with you, but I am just not okay continuing without sex as a part of my life. I understand if an open relationship isn’t something you’re okay with, but if not this, then I think we may need to end this relationship.”
I just really hate the advice given and the kind given by Dan Savage (who often excuses cheating if it is meant to keep the relationship together). Sometimes people are sexually incompatiable, or become that way over time. Sometimes a person is unable/unwilling to have sex and their partner is only willing to wait so long. But regardless, that doesn’t make it okay to cheat on someone or unilaterly decide to open the relationship. It seems like an act of cowardice to me where the one partner decides they don’t want to end the relationship but don’t want to honor it either. As a result, they seek out their needs and desires with no regards to the needs and desires of their partner(s).
In other words, I think this advice by Ali is spot on, a much more healthy way to approach opening a relationship than trying to make a unilateral decision that only takes into account the needs of one partner:
http://www.autostraddle.com/moving-beyond-lesbian-bed-death-and-bridging-the-libido-gap-216151/