Feature image via the nu project.
Welcome to NSFW Sunday!
+ Solo Poly addresses why being your own primary partner in non-monogamous relationships is harder, but also worth it:
“Why should anyone want to do relationships the hard way? Specifically, why might someone who desires long lasting, deeply intimate relationships prefer both solohood (retaining autonomy by avoiding deep life enmeshment with romantic partners) and polyamory (openness to concurrent emotionally/sexually intimate relationships, with the full knowledge and consent of everyone involved)?
In my experience, that’s because solo polyamory can be awesome, in ways that primary-style partnerships (whether open or closed) simply cannot provide. Not that solo polyamory necessarily is more awesome than other relationship approaches; it’s just a different, uniquely valuable, and equally valid brand of awesome.”
+ America is pretty weird about sex, and for example is weird about body image:
“The only naked bodies we see (unless you are one of the rare breeds who come from a nudist household) are found in porn, and hence, we think of the porn body as the “ideal,” even though very few people’s bodies and genitals look like that without severe modification. A few brave souls are attempting to normalize the diversity of genitalia, Betty Dodson, for instance, but by and large Americans have a lot of shame surrounding their bodies and private parts, leading to such horrors as anal bleaching, labiaplasty, vaginal rejuvenation, and vajazzling, also known as turning one’s vagina into a glittery disco.”
+ Some people are very fond of calling pornography “an epidemic,” but those people are wrong:
“Pornography is not a disease. It is, however, a scapegoat for the consequences of certain societal phenomena that result in negative sexual health outcomes. As a public health professional, I believe that sexual shame and stigma, institutionalized misogyny, and inadequate sexual health education are far greater barriers to healthy sexuality than pornography itself.
The pornography epidemic is not a public health crisis, it’s a moral panic.”
+ At Oh Joy Sex Toy, Erika Moen writes about blow jobs.
+ This video opens with “I posted an ad on Craigslist seeking women who have never seen their vaginas. This is the result.”
+ And this video is about how orgasms work.
+ When asked whether they had masturbated in the past year, 36.5% of women aged 18 to 24, 28.5% of women aged 25 to 29, 37% of women aged 30 to 39 and 35.3% of women aged 40 to 49 answered “no,” according to a study recently discussed on fivethirtyeight. Jezebel followed up with a post suggesting that 80% of its respondents thought those numbers are low, which: thank goodness. Perhaps we’ll have our own poll here in short order…
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I think you might mean Solo Poly?
Also I am going to go read that Solo Poly post right now because I have a feeling it will hardcore resonante with me.
It’s a great post! Helped me put a lot of feelings I’ve been having into words, and gave me a good way (her “exoskeleton” explanation) of explaining why I’ve been feeling a bit adrift in terms of what I currently want and need out of relationships. Good luck in your solo adventures!
I think it’s a great idea for autostraddle to conduct their own survey re: masturbation! I’d love to see the stats from queer women/human beings.
Yup. Looking foreard to seeing the results of that survey
Yes!
Glad to see a mention of solo poly here, woot! Think no matter someone’s preference for a particular relationship type it’s always important to be responsible for oneself.