Feature image via girlsincalvinkleinunderwear, by spenser charles.

Welcome to NSFW Sunday!

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+ Wondering whether it’s possible to keep queer sex hot when you’re in a long-term monogamous relationship? At Black Girl Dangerous, Vianca Masucci suggests building and maintaining your own sexual self and constantly studying your partner’s, pursing interests together, being sexier in your day to day routines and staying autonomous:

“As humans, we crave the different spices that make up monogamy: stability, consistent companionship, emotional balance. Committed relationships provide the fix. But with stability and routine comes the loss of fantasy, spontaneity and novelty — the holy trinity of passion and desire. When those things begin to dry up, our cravings for them intensify. Herein lies the dilemma: the environment that nurtures love poisons passion yet we expect, demand even, that they cohabitate.

I don’t think that it is unrealistic, though, for monogamists to want to have their hair pie and eat it too. Keeping sex alive in a long-term monogamous relationship is a matter of discovering an algorithm for cultivating dynamism between your partner and yourself. “

Jenna Talackova via huffingtonpost

+ If you’ve never tried playing with BDSM before and are curious, remember to communicate, research and take it slow:

“Discuss your fantasies with your partner before you’re in the bedroom. Incorporating these desires into your dirty talk is fine when you’re mid-coitus, but do have an out-of-bed discussion beforehand in which you clearly define both your expectations and boundaries. And, get specific — you may agree, for example, that you’d like to dole out “punishment” to your partner, but be certain you both understand what that means before playtime begins. As with all sex, consent is mandatory. Find out what both of you are comfortable with, and continue to negotiate together as you explore this new space.”

via loneookami

+ Interested in anal sex? Here are a few ideas for making it awesome, including lube, being turned on, lube, taking it slow, lube, experimenting with positions, lube and getting over your embarrassment:

“Embarrassment has no place in the bedroom. If you’re going to have anal sex, you’ve got to stomach the idea that someone will be looking at, touching, licking or penetrating your asshole. And while you may not consider it your most aesthetic attribute, I promise the person doing the penetrating will find that wrinkly little thing sexually compelling, hair and all. So breath. Relax. Once you put your mind at ease, your sphincter will follow.”

via drawnwithcurves

+ “I think it’s important to see more brown people in porn, to see more fat people in porn, and to see more fat, brown people in porn.” — Cinnamon, CrashPadSeries episode 169

+ Sometimes you need a break from sex with other people, and that’s okay.

+ Dangerous Minds ran porn through Google DeepDream.

+ At Tits and Sass, Margaret Corvid wrote about responsibility in sex worker writing and the need to avoid respectability politics.

twentystars by thesensualeye

+ It sucks to love married women who are sort of non-monogamous but, it sounds like, not really:

“The first long weekend we spent together was less the stuff of reality and more the stuff of reality television — full of sex, booze and terrible fights. We fucked all over the house she shared with her husband. We fucked quietly while he lay asleep beside us. We fucked, all of us together, until she, then he, got jealous and both left the room abruptly. Doors were slammed. Doors were tentatively opened. And out of this four-day melee came a budding romance, a long-distance love affair that would last, improbably, for years.”

via drawnwithcurves

+ Stoya is now answering sex questions at the Verge, starting with all labia being normal labia, getting ready for anal and why you need to talk about it:

Want more oral sex? Have a specific fantasy about being covered in honey and popcorn or penetrating a unicorn (the stuffed kind, not the rare woman looking for casual F/M/F threesomes with established couples)? Feeling neglected, stifled, or overwhelmed? You have to talk about your sexual needs if you want to get them met.

Sexual partners aren’t psychic, and they have their own desires, limits, and squicks. Many people find that talking about sex can be difficult for a number of reasons: embarrassment, fear of rejection, inexperience, and a lack of nuanced and specific vocabulary.

Jessa via nachosatanico.tumblr.com

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